As the days moved forward, Onika found herself desiring more and more to find some sort of an excuse to touch the beautiful, young caretaker. Light caresses on the arm as she walked by, tucking the ever errant strands of hair back behind Beyoncé's left ear, placing her hand on the brunette's knee as they engaged in conversation and sipped wine...
Initially Beyoncé appeared to be, well, not uncomfortable exactly, Onika noted, but certainly affected by the contact, but as the touches became more frequent, the young woman's responses became more receptive.
While Beyoncé hardly ever reciprocated the doctor's attention, she certainly gave no indication that she wanted the older woman to stop. She noticed that she began to crave Onika's presence and almost flirting, in fact, and while she wanted so desperately to act on her attraction, she reminded herself that Onika was 9 years older and married. The most important part was that she was married. Married. Married. Married with children.
And so even though she didn't stop the older woman's gentle affections, she quickly realized that she couldn't if she tried.
But what Beyoncé couldn't figure out was why Onika didn't stop either.
*****
Roughly a week after Beyoncé went jogging the first time, she put Jr and Anyla down for a nap, having had a busy morning at the children's science museum, and made her way into to her room. She flopped onto the comfy bed and laid there for several minutes, just thinking about everything...college, Onika, the children, her family, Onika , maybe having a nap too, Onika...
Suddenly the young woman heard a soft sound coming from the bathroom, almost like splashing and she jerked her body forward into a sitting position, alarmed. "Hello?" she called out nervously. "Mrs. Maraj, is that you?" Standing up, she slowly stepped forward toward the open door and peeked into the bathroom. She gasped and spun around on her heels when she saw a mass of pinned up black curls bobbing along to music, hurrying quickly back into her room.
"Beyoncé?" the older woman called out to her. "You can come in if you'd like, I don't mind."
Beyoncé peeked her head around the door frame. "Hi, um, didn't mean to disturb you. I just didn't know you were home since I didn't see your car...so obviously I didn't expect you to be using my bathroom."
Onika pulled the earbuds from her ears and dropped them to rest on her iPhone. "I actually took a taxi home because I was exhausted and I didn't feel it would be safe to drive myself. But I hope it's okay I'm in here? I've had a particularly rough two days and really needed a good, hot soak."
"Oh, why didn't you call me? We could've come and picked you up."
"I didn't want to be an inconvenience to you and the children. It's fine."
"It would've been easy," the young brunette insisted.
"No matter. I'll call next time then?" Onika replied, hopeful, before asking, "Are you okay with me using this tub while you're here?" She looked sheepishly to Beyoncé for permission with her eyes.
"It's your house, so you can technically do whatever you want, right?" Beyoncé smirked.
"Well yes, but you are my guest, and this is your space right now. Are you upset with me?"
"Technically I'm your employee, not your guest," Beyoncé replied, shrugging with a smile. "But no, I'm not upset. You just surprised me is all."
"You're a guest,Beyoncé," Onika replied with finality. "The children are down for a nap, I presume?"
"Yep. Exhausted from the children's museum." She stepped back fully into the middle of the doorway.
"Oh, wonderful. They love it there," Onika replied, beaming. "Why don't you come sit and chat with me? I just slipped in."
Beyoncé bit her lip, her brow furrowing. "I'm not sure that's...uh...maybe I'll just go lie down for a bit." She jutted her thumb back toward her bed.
"Oh, okay. Are you uncomfortable because I'm naked? I'm pretty covered up with bubbles right now, so you wouldn't see much."
"I just," Beyoncé paused, reaching up to scratch her forehead gently. "Wouldn't that be weird to you?"
"Would it be weird to you?" the older woman countered.
"I asked you first," Beyoncé shot back, smirking.
Leaning her head back against the tub and closing her eyes, Onika quietly responded, "Beyoncé, I'm a doctor. Nudity doesn't bother me. On top of that fact, I'm a mother of two small children, so I now have very little privacy sometimes. Do you think I would mention it if I had a problem with it?" She cracked open an eye and glanced at the younger woman, who was still standing in the doorway, now blushing furiously.
The woman sensed Beyoncé's hesitation, however, not only to say no, but also to say yes. To find the happy medium, she suggested, "How about you lie there on the floor where you are, still here in the bathroom, and we talk? I would really like the pleasant company."
"I, uh," Beyoncé stumbled, "I could do that. Yeah." Quietly she turned around and lowered herself to the floor, her feet in the doorway, so that in order to look at Onika, she'd have to tilt her head all the way back, almost lifting herself off the bathroom tiles, to see the older woman soaking in the tub.
"Tell me about the visit to the museum today," Onika requested quietly.
Beyoncé talked animatedly for the next thirty minutes or so, while Onika responded or interjected as necessary.
"Oh man," Beyoncé laughed, "You shoulda seen Jr. in the bubble exhibit. I took some pictures and video to show you. You know the one exhibit thing where you can create a, like, column of bubble around you? He let out the funniest squeal when the thing popped on him." Beyoncé tilted her head back, grinning, to look at the older woman in the tub.
By that point Onika was twisted around in the tub slightly, facing Beyoncé, while leaning on the rim of the tub, her arms overlapped with her chin resting on top of her hands. Hearing Beyoncé talk about her children the way she was, the doctor was mesmerized. When Beyoncé tilted her head back to look at her, the way the young woman's long, thick, dark curls were fanned out on the tiled floor, Onika's stomach twisted in knots. Beyoncé was so beautiful, and charming, and already obviously loved her children. How would she ever be able to fight off the feelings that were now creeping into her heart? It seemed an insurmountable task.
"I wish I could have been there with you, Bey," the doctor replied softly.
The young brunette's stomach fluttered at the thought. "Me too," she agreed.
And the conversation then continued about more of the children's reactions to the exhibits.
By that time, the water in the tub was more than cool, and the older woman was starting to shiver, but listening to Beyoncé speak was oddly soothing and it made her incredibly reluctant to leave the little bubble that formed every time she and Beyoncé were alone together.
"Bey?" Onika finally interrupted. "Could you maybe hand me a towel? I just realized I forgot to bring one with me in here, and I'm ready to get out of the bath, as the water has turned quite cool."
The young brunette bit her lip gently as she realized that handing her a towel would require approaching much closer, and thus increase the chances of seeing some part(s) of her naked body, because she knew the bubbles would have dissolved. "Yeah, of course," she finally responded before raising herself off the floor and opening the linen closet to grab a clean towel.
As she stepped tentatively closer, her arm outstretched with the towel in hand, Beyoncé realized that by the time Onika would be able to actually reach the towel, she'd be able to see most of her nude body. She bit her lip and averted her gaze, waiting for the woman to grab the towel.
"You are very shy, Beyoncé," Onika mused as she sat up straighter in the tub and reached for the soft piece of cloth. She sank her fingers into the material, gripping slowly to give her a moment or two to observe Beyoncé's flushed face. When Beyoncé realized the older woman had a good hold on the towel, she spun around and hurried out of the room.
*****
Later that same night, after Onika had put the children to bed, she knocked softly on Beyoncé's bedroom door, which was slightly ajar. A low voice on the other side responded, "Come in." Pushing the door open slowly, Onika stepped inside the room, closing the door, so as not to potentially disturb the children.
Beyoncé watched wordlessly as the older woman quietly made her way to the side of the bed next to Beyoncé and perched herself on the edge, her left thigh fully on the bed with the her right foot still on the floor.
"Beyoncé," Onika said softly, wringing her hands in her lap nervously and looking down at them, "I wanted to apologize earlier for my...behavior. I clearly made you uncomfortable by asking you to stay with me and talk in the bathroom, at least at first, and then especially made you even more so when I asked you to hand me a towel."
"Mrs. Maraj-"
"Please, Beyoncé, I think you can call me Onika at this point," the doctor gently corrected.
"Onika ," the brunette repeated, testing the name on her lips.
Closing her eyes, Onika sighed contentedly and looked down again.
Beyoncé's brow furrowed briefly before it dawned on her. "You don't hear that very often, do you?"
Onika swallowed hard and shook her head, eyes still closed, and though Beyoncé didn't know it yet, trying to fight away the tears.
"At the hospital, all you hear is Doctor Maraj, and around here, you only hear Mama. Nobody ever takes the time to see you as a woman, as Onika," Beyoncé observed quietly.
Nodding once, Onika couldn't help but sniffle while she tried not to burst into tears, and immediately Before shot forward, gently placing her hand on Onika's forearm. "Onika, hey, what's wrong?"
Suddenly Onika stood up, smoothing out her skirt, and turned to leave. "It's nothing of importance, really. I," she hesitated, "I really just wanted to tell you that I was sorry."
The young brunette was off the bed immediately, grabbing Onika's wrist gently to keep her from leaving. "No, something's wrong. Tell me."
Still not turning back to face Beyoncé, Onika replied, "I don't even know. I have just felt this horrible ache, figuratively, of course, inside of me recently, and I've been having a great deal of difficulty coping with it."
"Well has anything worked so far?" Beyoncé asked quietly.
Onika bit her lip, even though Beyoncé couldn't see it, and then neutralizing her expression, she turned to face Beyoncé , lifting her eyes slowly to meet the young woman's. She took a deep breath and the corner of her mouth lifted upward in a hesitant smile. "You," she replied simply.
"Me?" Beyoncé asked, cocking her head to the side in confusion.
"Your," Onika began, "companionship, I suppose. The ache I feel inside seems to abate significantly when we spend time together."
Beyoncé swallowed the sudden lump in her throat, which didn't go unnoticed by the older woman, and Onika casted her eyes downward, suddenly embarrassed at her own admission.
"I like spending time with you, too," the young brunette replied quietly. "I've never had a f-friend like you."
"You are a wonderful friend, Beyoncé," Onika said affectionately, stepping forward and grabbing both of Beyoncé's hands, holding them in between their two bodies. "And I desperately hope that after this summer is over, you'll still remain so."
"I'd like that," Beyoncé agreed softly, squeezing the older woman's hands briefly.
"Wonderful," the doctor replied, squeezing Beyoncé's hands in return. Then she pulled back, saying, "I believe I'll retire to my room now and read a bit," before turning again toward the door. Looking back over her shoulder, she added, "Thank you, Beyoncé."
"For what?"
The woman hesitated before shooting Beyoncé a smile that warmed something in the young woman's chest. "For being you."