I know its bad.
I know I should stop but I can't.
He looks so happy. When he gets my gifts he always looks so happy.
I got him a rose last week and he smiled. I got him some chocolates and he giggled. He was frowning this morning so I set a note on his desk and he got so happy he ran to his boss office to tell him about it.
I just know he loved it. He wants to meet me. But he has to wait. He knows it can't be rushed. Our love is pure.
His name is Sean. It's so fitting for him. He's big, bigger than me and it's so cute. He's about 6'0 and has a bit of tummy but it's alright. I gave him that. He ate all the sweets I left for him. He has blond hair and green eyes. He is always trying to look small but I know how much he stands out.
I know everything about him.
When he sleeps. When he wakes. When he tries to work out. When he eats and has breaks. When he goes into work. His days off. When he likes to shave. His dreams of wanting a dog and owning a farm. The dislike for his father. He hates oranges. His favorite color is blue. He liked jeans but wears slacks. He wears a lucky hat when the game is on. His whole name is Sean Janny Luther. He hates being called Janny. His best friend is named Lion. He teases Sean too much. Sean loves food. He has low self esteem. He likes to read. His favorite pastime activity is learning to draw. He takes online classes. He works as a secretary. His habit is saying 'sorry' and nodding too much. He hasn't had a date since last June, a year ago.
He's perfect.
He likes women but it's alright. He just hasn't met me yet. When he does, he'll realize even though we're both men, that he loves me.
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(Time passes)
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This is bad. I have to hurry. Move...Move!
These cars are going too slow. I have to get to the hospital. Sean called out of work for a stomach ache. He headed to the hospital and I have to be there. It could be a virus. Or a bad cold.
Move!
Ugh driving is useless. I have to run there. He needs me to be there. I have to be there. He needs me. This crowd is too thick. Everyone is trying to keep him from me. That lady. And that man. And that man. And that woman. Even that child. They all need to move. I have to get through. The hospital is so close.
Yes. Yes! I'm inside and I see him. He's smiling at the doctor. Is he leaving already. What was wrong? Is he alright?
Hide. He can't see me yet.
He passed right by me. He smells amazing. His hair looks perfect today. No, wait. I have to find that doctor. He has to tell me what's wrong. I'll just have to lie and say we're married. Then I can know. He has to tell me.
Stubborn. The doctor was stubborn. This is his fault. If he wasn't stubborn I wouldn't have had to hurt him. Now he's not breathing. He wont wake up. But I know now. Sean is fine and it was just a small stomach ache from too much sweets. He's so cute and silly.
I'll let someone else find the doctor. I have to go back to Sean.
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(Time passes)
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He won't eat my cupcakes.
I got him his favorite but he wont eat them. It's been two days. Why won't he eat what I give him. He looks fine and healthy. Is he still in pain? No he ate his lunch he made this morning. Why is he ignoring me? That's not fair. I am trying for us Sean, don't ignore that.
Please eat it. You're making me upset. Wait. No. No No. Sean don't do that. Stop throwing them away.
Stop! Sean you aren't listening to me! I got these for you! Stop wasting them!
Its ok...I'm not mad at you Sean...I can't be...
He didn't mean it...
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(Time passes)
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It's been a week. He won't eat any of it. He keeps throwing my things out. Lion is staying over more and sleeping on the couch. He's getting between me and Sean. I can hardly see him now. He won't come outside. He changed his schedule.
It's making me pissed off. He loves me. Why is he doing this? Does he not care anymore? No. He craves me. I know it.
I have to see him. I can't stand this. He and I belong together. I have to get him. He has to come with me now. It's time.
It's time for Sean and I to meet.
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(Time passes)
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Don't cry. I hate when you cry. I'm sorry. I said I was sorry. I didn't mean to hurt Lion, but he wouldn't stop yelling and hitting me. He kept hitting me. No one would listen to me.
My eye is bleeding. Will you wait here for me Sean? Of course you will. Are your ropes too tight? No? Good. I have to clean my eye. My side hurts too but it's ok. You matter more.
I'm done Sean. Oh no...you hurt yourself. Is your cheek ok? Were you trying to crawl to Lion? Don't do that. Don't look over there. I want you to look at me. Only me Sean.
Ouch! Stop! Stop! I said stop that!
..........
Sean....
Sean wake up.....
I'm sorry I pushed you...please wake up....
Its alright....I'll take you away from here. You don't have to wake up. Just dream about me. I'll take you with me no matter what. Your head wont stop bleeding. I'll clean the wound. You just rest.
I love you. And now you'll love me too.
Forever.
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End