A/N:
Sorry this story took a while to update :o I wanted to write something long bc its chapter 30 ya kno?
Also IM SORRY FOR NO SMUT YET IT DOESN'T FIT IN THE STORY YET DON'T HATE ME IM SORRY SMUT WILL COME SOON MY LOVES.
I've also been rewatching Ouran High School Host club.
(If you watch it comment who you ship :p I know not many people ship it but I ship Hikaru and Haruhi, and Tamaki and Kyoya IDK I THINK ITS CUTE OKAY CUZ TAMAKI AND KYOYA HAVE SWEET HISTORY AND HIKARU IS MADLY I LOVE WITH HARUHI YA FEEL?!)
Aaaanyway, so yeh. Long chapter
Have fun :)
xx
Dan had thought about this. The possibility of Phil having a relapse of those emotions he felt all those years ago.
That fuckface Marjery must of triggered it. But apparently lots of people have been seen near her with sharp weapons as well as devious looks and most of them being teenage girls...how suspicious.
Dan needed to help Phil avoid this somehow, but he knew there wasn't much hope because when Phil had a slight panic attack at TopShop, Dan couldn't calm him down. The thing that calmed him down was intakes of heavy breaths and staying quiet for the remainder of the day.
Phil has been speaking less.
Dan always wonders what Phil has on his mind. What goes through that brain of his when he's biting his lip and staring into a mug of hot chocolate.
Dan did try to ask.
But it didn't turn out so well.
~
"Phil." Dan said softly to his husband.
Phil looked up from his laptop. Dan could see the dark circles surrounding his eyes along with the redness of them.
"Yeah?" Phil said back.
"Is everything okay?" Dan smiled, shuffling closer and taking Phil's hand into his own.
Phil flinched slightly at Dan's touch.
"J-Just peachy."
Dan bit his lip. "You idiot I know when you're lying, we've been together for so long i'm not blind."
Phil looked down at his lap, his fringe falling before his eyes as a lonesome tear dipped down his cheek.
"I-I don't know Dan. I-I really d-don't...I-I keep on having these mood swings. I-It's not fully depression, I remember what that feels like really clearly. I-It's like...whenever i'm happy, my mind switches on a...a-a pessemism switch. And that switch, i-it triggers things that could go wrong in that situation of h-happiness. I-I wish I could tell tou w-what's wrong with me Dan, I-I really do! B-But the thing is, how could I t-tell you when I don't know m-myself..."
Dan gnawed on his lip anxiously. "We need to get a check up."
Phil let out a bitter laugh. "We?"
"I know you hate the doctors, so you get a check up with me." Dan declared.
"What's wrong with you?" Phil asked worriedly.
"Nothing, it's just I know it will make you feel more comfortable if I get a check - up too."
Phil couldn't help but grin, kissing his lover's cheek. "I f-fucking love you, you piece of shit."
Dan let out a tiny muffled moan, eyes widening. "S-Sorry, it's really hot when you swear."
"I'll keep that in mind in the bedroom." Phil smirked, winking cheekily.
~
The appointment had been booked for the two of them next week. However, the days before was...weird. A sequence of unexplainable and probably unlinked happenings.
~
"Daniel." Phil half whispered.
They were on their way home, sitting on the empty train carriage.
"Yes Phillip?" Dan smiled.
"I love you."
Dan chuckled softly. "Haven't heard you say that in a while."
Phil furrowed his eyebrows. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Dan shrugged, shaking his head. "Doesn't matter kitten, I love you too."
Phil rolled his eyes. "Why are you mad I haven't sad I love you in a while?! I-I do! I do love you Dan I promise I do y-you won't forget that will you?"
"Phil hush baby yes I know you love me, you're over-analysing things too much okay my love?"
"I'm sorry for not being the best boyfriend ever." Phil said sarcastically, his face turning moody the rest of the day.
~
Dan was drifting off to sleep when he heard the door open. It was Phil since he already had heard the front door being unlocked.
Dan was blinded for a few seconds at the bright lights of their room being turned on until his eyes adjusted.
He looked to his side at the time.
01:08
"Fuck Phil where have you been?" Dan muttered sleepily, looking up at the figure at the end of his bed.
Phil was holding a bottle in his hand. A bottle of alcohol.
"Phil I said where the fuck have you been?!" Dan said angrily.
"None of your fucking business." Phil mumbled, opening the bottle in his hand and taking a large gulp.
Dan bit his lip. "Y-You know, you really shouldn't be drinking that. It makes you moody and stuff..." Dan zoned off, knowing fully that 'stuff' meant horny.
"Yeah well i'm a grown man." Phil spat through gritted teeth, eyeing Dan up lustily up and down.
Dan tugged at his sleeves, feeling highly uncomfortable. "Phil...go to sleep." He said sadly.
Phil shrugged, walking over to the front of the bed.
"Maybe I don't want to go to bed. Maybe I'm horny and want my cute little husband to give me a blow."
"Well your husband does not want that. Fuck off, I want my sleep." Dan said through gritted teeth, grip tightening at the duvet beneath him.
"Don't make me force you, you fucking bitch." Phil growled.
Dan hid under his duvet. "P-Please Phil. Just go away."
After that, with a final grunt of anger, the light was turned off and Phil stormed out of the room after slamming the door shut.
Phil was normally horny and a little angry after having a drink or two, but not to the extreme that it made Dan hide in his room with the door locked and tears streaming dowm his face as despeeatly he waited for morning to arrive which Phil would be sober and back to normal.
~
Three days after the drinking incident, Phil and Dan weren't exactly back to normal, but they were still close.
Dan had noticed how Phil hadn't slept for days, or he hadn't seen him sleep. He was so worried and wished the check - up would come sooner.
~
On the day of the check -up, Dan had his first. He was perfectly healthy.
And then Phil's turn. Phil was previously moody with Dan for some new reason but was anxiously holding his hand like a little kid amd squeezed it tight when his name was called.
Dan went in with Phil, their hands still in contact.
"So Phillip. What seems to be the problem?"
Phil bit his lip, looking sadly at Dan meaning he wanted him to say.
"C-Can I speak for him?" Dan said quietly.
The doctor nodded kindly. "Of course."
"Okay um...well there he's been experiencing...mood swings. Alot of them. Much more frequent now. And random intakes of alcohol. Oh and also not sleeping, or very little sleeping. And...And over analysing lots of things."
Phil bit his lip, feeling tears rolling down his cheeks.
Had Dan really suffered watching him through all of that?
"Okay, Phil...do you have any history with depressive bipolar disorder?"
"Y-Yeah." Phil choked out. "When I was a-about fourteen."
"And had your treamnent been succesfull over some time?" The doctor asked.
"Nope. It was rubbish." Phil mutered.
"Well, Phil this is a relapse you could say. Somehow, triggered by something. I will perscribe you some strong medications which are to be taken daily." The doctor instructed, turning to Dan.
"And you are his friend I presume?" The doctor said.
"Husband." Dan corrected proudly.
The doctor nodded, not seeming faulted by that. "You will need to help Phil, ensure that he gets his medications on time because with his illness, there is a terrible tendancy to put things off. One pill at midnight, one in the morning and one at midday. And a healthy diet, Phil you will need to keep yourself eating regularly. Otherwise, it will increase the range of rapid emotions."
Dan and Phil both nodded.
~
"Philly, hey Phil. You need to wake up for the pills." Dan said softly as he tapped Phil's shoulder.
Phil groaned, blinking his eyes open. "I'm sleepy."
"I know you are, but these pills will make you feel better." Dan smiled sadly as he stroked Phil's hair.
Phil nodded sadly, taking them and almosy immediently dozing back to sleep.
~
One week later.
Dan has gone out for the day to get some new clothes. When he came back, he didn't expect to see cute little notes stuck everywhere in the hallway, each of them connecting an row pointing him inside.
He giggled happily, putting his stuff down and following the sticky notes.
He was led into the lounge, seeing Phil nervously sat on the sofa.
Dan raised an eyebrow, sitting down next to him.
"What's up?" Dan smiled.
"I need to talk to you."
Dan nodded.
Phil ever so softly pressed his lips on Dan's cheek. "I-I...Last week. I was a monster to you. I'm so sorry bear, I love you so so much. But the medication is helping so much and I don't feel angry anymore. Your my cuddly bear and I don't want to push you away. I love you too much, if you left me I would beg you a thousand times to take me back. No matter how many times I've given you a reason to leave me, you haven't. If you ever did, I wouldn't want to live. I hate having this illness, but it will dissappear somehow like it did before. I just need your help, just like you did all those years ago back when I didn't talk. I need you Dan, you're like the oxygen that keeps me going, or the smile that makes me want to wake up every morning. I need you. I want to go back to before, I don't want you to see me like this. I need your help, somehow you were the one that helped me. Are you in to help me once more through this?" Phil asked, looking down at his lap.
Dan leant over, kissing Phil's lips and interlocking their hands. "Of course i'm in you numpty."
xx