last night was exhilarating and comfortable and wonderful.
you kissed me while we laughed and I kept getting cut off in the middle of my sentence because your mouth seemed to be welded to mine. I didn't mind, though, I just grabbed your waist and laughed harder.
my hands rove over your body shamelessly, and yours do the same to me. your full weight is on me and it makes it a little hard to breath, but touching you is so fucking worth it. you said, in between bouts of kissing, that you never thought you would be able to trust someone enough to do this, and I whispered me too.
the thought of anyone else on top of me, pinning me to this bed with their hands on me, makes me convulse with repulsion and fear. but you, ever the exception, just feel like coming home. I say as much, and you agree and kiss me again.
we talked a lot that night too. I laid on your chest and told you all about the first girl I loved, how afraid and confused and so in love I was with her, with the fear of anyone finding out that I feel these things. I told you how she was taken from me in a matter of seconds, the way jealous forces pushed us apart and how I still mourn her all these years later. how I don't think I'll get over the way she said my name and the way her touch made me feel. I know you're the one for me, and I don't ever doubt that, but I am so consumed with thoughts of what might have been and you understand that. you just listen quietly and tell me you love me. it still hurts, her memory, but if she was one of the fires I had to tread through to get to you, I'd do it again tenfold.
back to your lips, again. I rolled on top of you and kissed you mercilessly until you gasped for breath, and I laughed and brought my face into your neck and said "a little out of breath, are we?" and you told me to shut up, barely getting the words out between inhales and I buried my face into your neck and laughed.
kissing and laughing, saying sappy things, touching you, everything I could ask for in heaven I now have with you. soft kisses, hands in my hair, everything is as it should be.
goodnight, my love. I'll see you in the morning.