today, it was jisoo's turn to leave. having two of their friends leave was already difficult. and now, one more was to go.
soonyoung huffed as he sat on the couch and blankly stared at the tv screen. on usual days, jihoon would simply give him a look of confusion and ask what the matter was. but today was not one of those days. jihoon completely understood how the older felt. as he too, felt unhappy at jisoo's upcoming departure. what happened to staying thirteen forever?
jihoon brushed away his thoughts and plated his and soonyoung's breakfast instead. the younger didn't usually cook for his boyfriend, as soonyoung would be sure to complain about how he was his boyfriend, not his slave. but soonyoung seems to be out of it today, and jihoon was sure that the male would starve himself if he wasn't forced to eat.
"here. you should eat." he said, placing their plates on the table before sitting beside the red haired male.
soonyoung gave the food a quick glance before turning his attention back to the tv. "no thanks, i'm alright. you can have it."
jihoon rolled his eyes and turned the tv off, annoyed. "what is up with you? i know that you're sad about our friends leaving, but did you not hear jeonghan's words yesterday? he told us that crying and sulking over it wouldn't change anything. he even told us to take care of ourselves while they're away. have you forgotten?"
soonyoung took the remote out of his hands with ease. he didn't seem to care about what the younger said at all. "are you done now?"
"yeah i'm fucking done alright." the latter scoffed, walking away.
the red-haired male watched as jihoon made his way back to his bedroom with heavy footsteps, clearly upset. he groaned and cupped his face with his hands. "..that wasn't supposed to happen."
time passed by quicker than wanted and the sun had now fully set. day turned to night and the clouds that earlier decorated the skies had now disappeared, leaving nothing but an empty dark sky with the moon nicely placed on the center.
soonyoung was currently in his car, about to head for the airport again. jihoon entered the car and sat on the passanger seat, quickly putting his seatbelt on without uttering a single word.
the older tapped his fingers lightly on the steering wheel as he looked out the window, letting the breeze cool him down and mess his hair up.
"are you going to start driving or what?"
soonyoung looked at the shorter and frowned. jihoon had his arms crossed as he stared straight ahead, purposely avoiding eye contact.
the older then started the car and quickly pulled out of the parking lot. jihoon said nothing more and left the ride to be completely silent.
"can we talk about today morning?" asked soonyoung who took a brief glance at his boyfriend from the rearview mirror.
"oh- yeah sure. let's talk about why you were being such a bitch earlier." jihoon replied, rolling his eyes.
"ji- you know i didn't mean to. i'm sorry. i don't know what got into me.."
"clearly."
though he had already forgiven soonyoung, the younger still kept up with his act. he ignored the constant glances the latter would give and stopped himself from holding soonyoung's hand when he rested it on his thigh. it was difficult, but it worked out nonetheless. by the time they arrived, soonyoung was sulky and constantly pouting.
"i've already said i'm sorry.. now will you please stop ignoring me?"
silence.
"..hoonie, stop ignoring me or i think i'll cry again."
jihoon tried supressing his smile, but failed. "you're such a crybaby, kwon." said the shorter, unlocking the door before exiting the red convertible.
right after he slammed the car door shut, a pair of strong arms spun him around before attaching their lips together, forcing jihoon to lean onto the vehicle.
"that's better." soonyoung commented after pulling away from the kiss, smiling goofily as he watched jihoon turn red. the latter was left speechless and could do nothing but hurriedly make his way inside of the airport, embarassed and a blushing mess.
excluding jisoo, jihoon and soonyoung were the last from their friend group to arrive. the older of the two saw how junhui was joking around with minghao, trying his best to divert the latter's attention. wonwoo and mingyu playing thumb wars. chan and seungkwan eating some chips as hansol showed them compilations of funny videos he had on his phone.
they were all trying so hard to pretend like they're fine, when they're clearly far from it. this was reality. people come and go, just like jeonghan said. but maybe, they weren't ready to let go of those people. not yet.
"it feels weird to be incomplete." jihoon blurted out loud enough for a few of their nearby friends to hear.
"tell me about it." hansol said, agreeing wholeheartedly.
wonwoo nodded too. "yeah, but lets not mention that and just give a proper goodbye to josh. i'm sure he's already having a hard time of his own."
"if thats the case, we better start shutting up from now. soo-hyung just texted me. he said he's already inside and is on his way here."
and sure enough, joshua appeared not even five minutes later. the male wore a denim jacket over a gray hoodie. seokmin's gray hoodie. everyone seemed to have noticed, but decided to stay quiet.
"..hey guys. thanks for stopping by to send me off." jisoo said, letting out a small smile.
"hyung, we'll miss you so much!" chan said, already sniffling.
jisoo nodded sadly and took a good last look at all of his friends that were present, knowing that he wouldn't be able to see them again for a long time if not forever.
deep down, jisoo wished a certain someone would be there too. but of course- he wasn't. and although the american male had already expected it, it didn't hurt any less.
seungkwan frowned as he saw the older scan the area, internally hoping for seokmin to appear. "hyung.. seokmin isn't going to come anytime soon."
"i know." jisoo said before chuckling sadly, "i know that i'm only pushing myself for disappointment, but i'm still hoping that maybe- just maybe, he'd come."
but as expected, he never did.
last goodbyes were said before jisoo had to leave. unlike the previous day, there weren't long speeches and advices given. there weren't nearly as much crying. there were only goodbyes and brief exchanges of hugs.
jisoo walked alone as he headed for his gate. the male kept looking at his phone, getting excited over every notification he received. but yet again, absolutely nothing from seokmin.
within the last few minutes jisoo had before he needed to enter the plane, he decided to be the one to say his goodbye. and so he texted seokmin one last time, droplets of tears making it's way down his cheeks with every sentence he wrote.
once the gate that lead to his airplane was opened, jisoo turned off his phone and wiped away his tears. there was no turning back now.
seokmin sat on the edge of his bed as he watched the rain pour over the city. even the weather seemed to understand how he felt.
on the corner of his eyes, seokmin saw his phone screen light up. and although he had been ignoring the messages and calls he received quite frequently recently, it just felt as if he needed to open this one.
and so he did.
his eyes widened as soon as he saw the contact name. he quickly opened the notification and started reading the message.
seokmin-ah, i know that i'm probably the last person you want to hear from, but i didn't want to leave without a proper goodbye.
i often look back at all the moments we shared and smile. those moments were only precious to me because i spent them with you, not anybody else. i haven't thanked you enough for all the great times we've had. you're special to me, seokmin. i love you and i always will. i'm sorry if you're hurting a lot because of what i did. the thought of not having you around really pains me too, trust me.
you deserve someone better, seokmin. you deserve someone much much better than me. you deserve someone that would make you smile. someone pretty on the inside and the outside. someone kind and just as loving as you are. someone that won't leave you or be the reason to your tears.
and that someone is certainly not me, so please forget about me and find that someone.
i'm so sorry.
goodbye, seokmin.
seokmin shook his head and sobbed to himself. he didn't want that someone, he wanted him. only him. he didn't care about the fact that there might be someone out there who is better. he didn't care about how perfect or pretty this someone may be. he didn't give two fucks about anyone else, he just wanted him.
he wanted hong jisoo.
jeonghan said that everyone has their happy endings, but seokmin doesn't believe that, because he felt as if he had just lost the chances of ever getting his.
( e n d )