[Light fluff]
3𝕣𝕕 ℙ𝕖𝕣𝕤𝕠𝕟 ℙ𝕆𝕍:
No!
Ashley Walker was fast asleep in her room, except she was having a reoccurring nightmare that's been happening ever since the night of the party at Thomas Barley's house. She has always tried to forget it, but it's never been possible. All she wants is for Richie to be able to take her pain away, instead he causes more of it.
Let me go! Get off of me!
She was squirming around in bed, flinching every so often as she began kicking and hitting in her sleep. The dream felt so real as if she was actually reliving the moment over again. This happened every so often once she's been reminded of it constantly.
Please, stop! Thomas! Stop!
On the other hand, Richie Tozier laid wide awake in his bed as he couldn't shake away the thoughts about the day the Losers got back together again. It's been three days since his trip to the quarry and he hasn't spoken to Ashley since she left that day. He felt guilty because she hadn't been hanging around them, but only separately when he wasn't with them. It had got so bad between them that she couldn't even stand to look at him. He thought that maybe he was too harsh on her and that he never even gave her time to talk.
He shot up out of bed with only one idea coursing through his mind. It may have been a stupid one, but he knew for sure that he had to go through with it so that he could finally get some rest. He opened his window and climbed out of it before climbing down the ladder he had set up beside the roof for nights he snuck out. His parents never cared, giving that he'd find a way to do it anyways, but they just wanted him back before morning. But for the days he'd be at Ashley's awhile back, they'd want him back atleast by lunch time.
He walked down the sidewalk until he reached the house that was three houses down from his; Ashley Walker's house. It brought back so many memories, which brought a slight smile to his face. His eyes darted towards the tree that stood tall right beside her bedroom window, and without double thinking, he began to climb it up until he was now crouched down onto the roof. He kneeled down in front of the window, seeing that it was dark in her room.
"Shit.", He cursed under his breath, placing his hands on the window sill and pushing it up. Thank God she keeps her window unlocked. He believed she didn't want to see him, which he couldn't really blame her. After all I've said to her, I'd distance myself as well. That's exactly what she was doing. Distancing.
No...
Richie's head snapped towards the sleeping girl whom he couldn't see yet, but he knew she looked beautiful as she slept peacefully throughout the night. He slowly slid himself into her room, carefully closing the window back behind him before making his way towards her lamp. Without tripping over anything – which the only thing he'd trip over is air because Ashley Walker always kept a tidied up room – he flipped the switch and watched as the light shone on her.
Something was wrong this time, though. She wasn't peacefully sleeping like she always used to do, instead she was shaking lightly, her eyebrows scrunched up together, and her hands clenched the bed sheets. She's having a nightmare. He slowly kneeled down in front of the bed, gently placing his hand over her own as he rubbed circles with his thumb on her soft, fragile skin.
Her eyes fluttered open with the contact, jumping up once she saw him sitting there. She didn't focus her eyes on him to see who it was, instead she moved away as she shut her eyes harshly together. "No! Leave me alone!"
Richie darted up on the bed, covering her mouth so she wouldn't wake up her mother. That made her scream from under his hand, tears streaming down her cheeks. Richie sighed softly, furrowing his eyebrows as he stared at the one girl he wish he never lost, but he always felt like they'd never get back together. He cares for her, but he wasn't sure he'd be able to get past the problems that were caused when she left him for Thomas. He whispered, "Ashley, it's me. It's Richie."
She mumbled his name under his hand, opening her eyes up slowly to see his face inches away from hers. Her eyes danced with his own as he pulled his hand away from her mouth. His eyes naturally averted towards her plump, soft lips that he used to love so much. He could drown away any of his problems with just a kiss from Ashley Walker; she was always his escape. His eyes stayed glued to her lips, watching as they parted when she was going to speak, but he cut her off quickly by placing his lips onto hers in a gentle manner.
Her heart fluttered in her chest, skipping a beat once she felt his hands grab her waists gently. He shifted on the bed to where he was on his knees, causing her to wrap her legs around his torso as she deepened the kiss by wrapping her arms around his neck. After a minute or two, she pulled away and drew in a quick breath before smashing her lips back onto his.
Richie felt like this was wrong of him to do, believing he was only going to end up even more heartbroken in the end, but he needed this. Deep down inside, he wanted every bit of her, but he was still slightly uncomfortable with thinking about having sex with her. He's upset he couldn't be the one to make love to her first. He wanted to be able to show her how much he loved her and how much he wanted her. Unfortunately, Thomas Barley got in the way and took her virginity and that made Richie's blood boil. Ashley was his girl. Richie always treated her like she was the Queen and he was the King; that always made Ashley Walker excited about their special relationship. Richie never even dared take advantage of her because he knew that no matter what, he would have her til the end. But now he's not so sure.
He broke the kiss, pushing her softly against the sheets of the bed and hovered over top of her. His eyes glanced between her own and then her demeanor. Ashley Walker needed Richie Tozier more than he'd ever know. As her eyes stayed glued to his, she raised her hands up to his face, pulling his glasses off before setting them on her nightstand.
She leaned her head up gently, bringing his face closer to hers before connecting their lips together as if they were puzzle pieces. Her hands ran through his hair, pulling gently which made him hum during the kiss. It sent shivers down her spine, causing the euphoria to rise between the two teenagers.
Richie slid his tongue teasingly against her bottom lip, begging for entrance. She obliged as she parted her lips, allowing his tongue entrance in between her lips as it searched for her own. The tips of their tongues touched, sending Richie into hyperdrive. Ashley didn't dare to fight for dominance, due to the fact that she loved when Richie took over.
Their lips departed with a loud smack before they both stared at each other with lustful eyes. Ashley bit her lip, wanting to further their make out session. Richie wanted more than to make out with her, but he was still unsure about it. He slowly pulled from her, sitting upright on the bed before Ashley followed after him.
"Richie?", She asked softly, placing her right hand on his shoulder. Their eyes locked as their breathing was slightly heavy.
"Ashley, I can't do this.", He looked away in shame, bringing his hands to cover his face. She gently pushed his hands out from his face, seeing him tearing up a little. "I can't."
"Richie.", She cupped his cheeks, making him look up at her with his glossy eyes. Her heart ached at the sight, also the fact he was still acting this way after hearing about the Thomas Barley issue. "You can."
"I want to, Ash.", He replied truthfully, tears slipping away from his eyes. Her heart skipped a beat at the nickname, not being called Ash in a long time by him. "I really want to, but it's just– all I can think of is you enjoying yourself more with him."
"Rich, I didn't enjoy it with him.", Her face dropped at the reminder of her nightmares and her memories of the night.
"Why? Was he sloppy?", He tried joking, but it just made him even more uncomfortable. He didn't want to hear about her having sex with another guy, let alone the one guy who rubbed it in his face about how he made his girl moan his name and fucked her so good til she couldn't walk. Those words from Barley made Richie angry, but not just normal angry. Imagine Hulk being angry, except ten thousand times more. That's when Richie had punched him in the face, showing Barley that he wasn't going to put up with his shit anymore.
"It wasn't that..", She let go of his face, turning away from him in embarrassment. She wasn't sure she should tell Richie, but she knew she couldn't keep it from him forever.
"Then what was it?", He noticed her sudden quietness, causing him to frown in response.
"I don't want to talk about it."
"That bad, huh?", He smirked. As if she could hear his smirk, she turned to face him.
"I just wanted it to be you.", She truthfully responded to him, causing his smirk to fade. Lust. It was back once more. She wanted it to be me. Richie almost couldn't believe it, but he did understand it. They always talked about doing it together, so whatever happened between her and Barley, it couldn't have been good.
"Do you still want it to be me?", He asked with hope that the girl he loved still wanted him just as bad as he did. Of course, they wouldn't do it now. Definitely not without protection.
She stared at him, her mouth agape while he stared back at her with a serious look on his face. Richie was back and forth with his feelings with Ashley Walker for sure, but he knew by tomorrow he'd be scared to even talk to her if she said no. It was like Eddie said earlier that day...
"You have a disease from Ashley, Rich.", Eddie Kaspbrak, the wheezy boy, spoke to his best friend, Richie Tozier. He had a comic book stuck in his face while Richie laid on his back on his bed. What Eddie said didn't settle well with him, making him glance over at him with a frustrated look.
"What?"
"A disease from Ashley.", Eddie smirked, looking away from his comic book and towards Richie. Eddie might've been straight, but that didn't stop a spark in Richie's sexuality.
Richie always had a thing for Eddie, even though the people of Derry always hated homosexuals. With all that hate going around, it had scared him to death. That year Connor Bowers had accused him of being a fairy really hurt him because he was then targeted for the following year until it all stopped when Ashley kissed him in the schoolyard in front of everyone, even though it still happened because people swore he was hiding behind a straight girl. Joke was on everyone, Richie and Ashley were never fully straight. The Losers never questioned him about it all because they all believed they were just trying to get under his skin, but for the most part it was half true.
Once Ashley found out about his sexuality a year ago, he felt comfortable again. He felt happy with himself and he was glad that the girl he loved was supportive. But now, it's a year later and he doesn't have her by his side because he labeled her as a slut.
"Eddie Spaghetti, what the hell do you mean?"
"It's a thing called love, Richie."
Here he was staring into the eyes of the one girl who has ever made him feel like he's special, other than his mother. Maggie Tozier tried to raise him into a very decent man, but unlike the other boys in the town of Derry, he was the only one that became such a big trashmouth. His father, Wentworth Tozier, always tried his best to raise his son and show him that in order to get anything done in life, you had to work your ass off. That did make Richie realize that nothing was ever going to be handed to him on a silver platter, no matter how much he asked for it.
"I want you til the end of time.", She responded softly, watching as his lips curved up into a cheeky grin. The promise that they had swore to each other that same year they defeated It at the Lovers Pond. She wasn't sure if Richie forgave her, but she hoped one day he would. Two days ago, Bill tried to help her win him back...
"Richie Tozier, the love of my life. I will cherish you...okay, I'm not marrying him, so absolutely not, Bill.", Ashley Walker sighed softly as she dropped the piece of paper by her side, staring directly at her friend. Bill and Ashley had been getting along so far after yesterday at the quarry, which surprised the both of them because they used to barely get along as thirteen year olds.
"Ashley, Richie will love that.", Bill spoke without a stutter. "He will totally forgive you."
"I don't know.", She shook her head lightly, letting out a deep breath as she used one hand to rub her face in frustration. "I want him to love me again."
"Ashley, he never stopped.", Bill truthfully responded to her with a light smile. "He's just got a funny way of showing it."
"Yeah, well it gets on my nerves."
"Hasn't he always g-got on your nerves?", He spoke with a light stutter. Ashley nodded lightly, smiling softly at his stutter. Bill really had gotten better and it showed, but sometimes his stutter was still prominent in his sentences. He just needed more time to get through it.
"Yeah, but it was different. He got on my nerves in a good way. But this little speech will not make him forgive me."
"...And so I just want you to know that I will always cherish you, love you, and I'll never leave your side again.", She finished the speech that she had rehearsed multiple times before tonight. He let out a deep sigh, shaking his head lightly.
"Ashley, I just don't know.", He replied back to her. "I really want to forgive you, but it's going to take some time."
"Oh.", A frown showed up on her face, making her drop her head lightly as she recalled telling Bill that it wouldn't work. "I told him."
"Told who what?"
"Bill.", She looked at him again, shrugging her shoulders before plopping down onto her bed. Her eyes stared directly up at the ceiling as she continued speaking, "He's been helping me figure out a way to get you to forgive me for leaving you."
"Ash–"
"His way didn't work, but hopefully mine will.", She cut him off before he could say another word. She let out a deep sigh, sitting upright and turning her body to face his. "Richard Tozier?"
"Oh, god.", He rolled his eyes playfully, causing her to softly smile at him. The two of them were getting better at talking again.
"I hated you when I first knew you.", She started it off, causing him to raise his eyebrows in amusement. She giggled softly, brushing her hair behind both ears as she looked down a little. That trick had always worked on Richie, always making his heart flutter at how adorable she could be. "Then I fell in love with you. We dated for years, but then broke up because I saw Greta kiss you. I was heartbroken and I realize that I totally left you heartbroken. I realize how much it must've sucked to see me with Barley."
"Yeah.", He scoffed as he crossed his arms over his chest.
"But I thought he was different.", She sighed softly, looking off to the side and ignored making eye contact. She shook her head lightly, "At the party, he showed me I was wrong."
Richie slowly became worried as she continued with her speech. "He spiked the punch bowl at prom because he wanted me to let loose because I saw you alone, which made me want to go talk to you. I felt bad because that was supposed to be our thing. So, I drank some punch and it did effect me, but I still remember what I was doing and what I had control over. I had complete control."
"Ash, where is this going?", He furrowed his eyebrows together, listening closely to all the details. Ashley was always very detailed with her stories and never left out anything. She was always picked on because of it, but it was just who she was as a person. She couldn't help it at all.
"We had an after party.", She ignored his recent question, trying to quickly get to the point. "Thomas wanted to show me something upstairs, so I was vulnerable and went along with it. I didn't think he'd want sex, but I was wrong."
"Ash..?", He quickly realized where the story was going, but she still kept speaking as tears formed in her eyes.
"I told him I didn't want to.", She truthfully responded to him, biting her lip as she remembered everything from that night. "But he wouldn't take no for an answer."
This news made Richie's heart beat out of his chest – not in fear or sadness, but in anger. Watching her break down in front of him and come out with the truth of what actually happened caused him to want to find Thomas Barley and beat the shit out of him for hurting his girl.
"He pinned me down and forced himself on me.", She was now close to sobs as she felt them form in her throat. He stared at her as all the words kept flowing out of her like a river. "He put a condom on and kept me still. I had a dress on, which made it easy for him to– I never wanted to. The screams everyone heard were screams of pain and fear, but nobody helped me."
"Ash..", He whispered softly, bringing his right hand up to her cheek. Her eyes met his as he began brushing the tears off of her cheeks with his thumbs.
"I wanted it to be you.", She whispered softly, bringing an aching feeling to his chest. "I'm not a slut."
Those words struck him like a lightning bolt striking the ground. The name he called her all the time after finding out about the sex, which now wasn't even her choice. "You're not a slut, Ash."
She began sobbing at his words, being pulled against his chest. She missed the feeling, she's missed it for so long. Now he knew the whole story, the truth. Yet all that could go through Richie's mind was, He's going to pay for what he did. I'm going to fucking kill him.