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The morning hit like a brick wall for Asami. She ended up in her bed, assuming that she had gotten up in the night and made her way there.
Todoroki had left early that morning to do hero work, their conversation still lingering in the air. She felt bad, she shouldn't have reached out to him. That was a bad move, on her part.
She realized they were running low on ingredients for dishes, so she got ready for the day and headed immediately to the market. It was the first time she had been out by herself in a long time.
Asami gathered all sorts of ingredients, beginning to grow excited about all of the things she could make. The freshness of it all really inspired her. She hadn't had that kind of selection in forever, since her family was hard pressed for cash.
When she wasn't looking, she backed into someone. Startled, she jumped backwards, her phone slipping out of her hand and falling to the ground.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't see you—"
She turned around, a tall man around her age had already picked up her phone. He had dark hair and slightly tan skin, a slight smile decorating his features.
"It's no problem! I didn't mean to scare you so bad," he said, his black shirt tight around his body.
She carefully took her phone away from the man. "Thank you. Again, I really didn't mean to knock into you like that."
"Why do you keep apologizing? Seriously, it's fine. It's not every day pretty girls back into me."
Asami felt a blush spread across her nose. She clutched her shopping bags close, her long hair falling into her face from all of the sudden movements.
"U-um, thanks— I—"
The man leaned up against a vending cart, taking a closer look at her. "What? Never heard a compliment before. Seems a little unbelievable."
"No, I.."
Everything came flooding back. Her reality, the mismatched eyes that gave her such a look of coldness, the isolation. The money. Her family. She couldn't get caught up in this moment. Even if he was tall and broad, with a flashy smile and chocolate eyes.
"I can't."
She hurried away, the man's expression contorting. He waved, tripping over himself trying to go after her.
"Wait! At least let me get your name!" He called out, giving up as her pace had increased to a run.
When she returned home to their apartment, she shut the door and rested her head against it. It took her a couple of deep breaths to relax again. Then, in a burst of emotion, she slammed her hand against the door. Why couldn't she? Why couldn't she at least entertain the thought? Was it so wrong?
She flipped over against the door, sliding down to the floor next to her groceries. Mom, what're we going to do? I have honor and duty. But my heart. My heart is not here. Maybe underneath all of his ice. But not here.
Asami spent the rest of the afternoon putting away groceries and trying to forget about the encounter at the market. It wasn't happening and it was never happening. She cleaned the house twice, did laundry, tied her hair up in a piece of cloth, and decided to make a really nice meal.
Duty, honor, good, nice, nice, good. She slid the knife through every vegetable and piece of meat with a little bit more aggression than usual. Strands of her fell out of the tie, her eyes focused on the task at hand.
She heard the door open and the footsteps that followed. Her muscles tensed again, but then she relaxed. She couldn't be mad at him. It wasn't his choice either. She knew that, just by the look in his eyes.
That's what Asami had to do. Look into his eyes. That's where she would find the emotion. She didn't say anything to him, as he went straight back for the bedroom and presumably, for a shower.
Todoroki had a long day. He ended up getting a couple of bruises and scratches, tired and exhausted. The last thing he wanted to do was deal with his reality, his new normalcy. Deep breaths, he thought. No need to take out work frustrations on her.
He emerged from the bedroom, shaking out his still wet hair and appearing more casual as he usually did around the house. Asami finished the meal, already laying it out on the table for him.
Todoroki sat down in silence, Asami pouring his drink like she did every night, even after she had shattered one of their cups. He chose not to argue about it.
"How was your day, Todoroki?" She asked quietly, hesitance in her voice after what had happened.
He thought about his words carefully this time, trying to fix his tone. "Difficult, but it does not matter now."
Her eyes flashed up at him and she set down her utensils, her hand resting on the table. He could see her eyebrows furrow and her lips part as she thought about what she was going to say.
"Would— would you like to talk about it?" Asami asked, a strand of hair falling in front of her face.
He cleared his throat. Didn't expect that. Not too close. Not too close. He had to keep her at a distance. For a second, he felt the softness in her voice deep in his chest. Then, the coldness swept over again.
"I would prefer if we didn't."
Asami's lips tightened and she felt her face redden again for the second time that day. She continued eating until she couldn't stomach anymore, getting up abruptly. She cleaned up the dishes.
Todoroki tried to bring his plate into the kitchen, coming up behind her. Asami quickly turned around, her eyebrows angled downwards in an aggressive stare. She took the plate from him, his sleeve moving upward.
He tried to downplay his day for her. A large bruise presented itself. Her aggressive stare melted, setting the plate down. It happened so fast, he didn't know how to react. She shoved his sleeve upwards, grasping his arm and taking a good look at the black and blue mark.
Todoroki didn't move this time, not knowing what to do or say.
"Todoroki," she began. "Please don't fight me on this one."
He didn't respond as she let go. Todoroki watched her take some ice and fill it in a bag, carrying it over to him.
"I can do that myself, you know," he mustered the words to speak.
"I said not to fight me on this," she said, her eyes meeting his.
What could she see? Was that— something? A little bit of emotion? Something? Please, give me something. Yet, she couldn't see anything. Just a blank stare.
Inside, he was on fire. This is exactly what he didn't want to happen and it was happening. She was becoming too close again. She reached over again, trying to adjust the bag, but he moved out of the kitchen. He turned his back to her.
He heard a slam in the kitchen, whirling around. A plate was shattered on the floor, her body heaving. Asami's face was red, tears gathering in the corner of her eyes.
"Don't walk away from me— I-I can't take it anymore!"
Something inside of him told him he should walk over there. He should tell her that he was sorry for everything, like he planned the previous night. Tell her everything, all about his mother, his father, his sister. Instead, he set down the bag of ice.
"I can."
Before he made it out of the dining area, a breeze rushed through the room. Torrenting around them, objects beginning to move on tables and counters.
"I— I hate this! Every time I try, all you do is— push me away!"
Asami's hair flowed around her, the wind picking up. She stumbled toward him, fighting the tears.
"Just let me in, please, so we can stop pretending this isn't happening!"
Shouto gripped on to the table, the ice and fire in his hands erupting against the wood. The wind abruptly stopped as she stood in front of him, tears still pouring down her face.
"I didn't want this either?!" His entire arm lit up in a blazing fire. "I am reminded of this everyday just by looking at you! You don't see me throwing plates and acting like a child!"
She took a step back, tripping over her ankle. What is he going to do?! She felt as though made a huge mistake. The flames almost blinded her.
"Todoroki— s-stop!" She said, her breath catching in her throat.
"Pushing you away is the only thing I have control over!" The heat was becoming scorching and she held her arms up over her face.
"Pl-please! I— I'm sorry!"
Asami began to sob, accepting that he was going to throw a flame and get rid of her. Then, the flames diminished. His chest was heaving and he finally looked at her, his expression changing. Cowering on the ground, she had her arms up.
Mother.
He felt his whole body tense up, looking down at his hands then back at her. He knelt next to her, watching as she looked through her elbows.
"Saito, I— I lost my temper I'm sorry—"
"I hate you."
The same fear he saw in his mother's eyes had returned. The hatred he saw when she threw the water. The same side that corrupted everything it touched. The puffy eyes, the tears, the red arms from the heat.
The words stung. Todoroki had become the fear he was trying so hard to avoid. Asami crawled away from him, scrambling desperately. She got to her feet and ran to the bedroom. The door slammed shut.
He stayed on his knees and for the first time in a long time, Todoroki let his emotions get the best of him.