Jin's POV
Shouji and I broke off from the rest of the group, and now it was just the two of us.
Admittedly, I'm still pretty scared around Shouji. There's just... something about him that never sat right with me. I'm still not sure what it is...
So you hate him?
What? No! He seems... pretty nice but... there's just something.
You don't trust him.
Yes!
But you trust everyone else?
..Yes?
What makes him different? Why do you hate him so much?? All that he and his friends have done for you, yet you still don't like him?!
I never said I didn't like him!! He's just kind of unsettling!!
"Jin, I understand you find comfort in wearing a mask, but maybe we should get you a new one? Your current one could give away your identity as a familiar villain."
"I'd rather keep this one.."
"We can get me a few backups, though!" I say, my current mask thankfully hiding my expression for the most part. I could feel the muscles in my face tightened into a nervous look, especially as he stared at me menacingly for a prolonged amount of time, before shrugging and looking back ahead of him. I let out an internal sigh of relief.
He feels so menacing! But why???
I really wish Shuichi was here, normally when I get super freaked out he would let me run my hands along his scales... they were stimulating and calming...
Shouji's done nothing wrong.
I know..
Despite my weird distrust of Shouji, he led me into a shop he frequented. It's mainly for mutant-type quirks, and that's why they have such a large array of masks. Masks for people with snouts, multiple eyes, no lashes, etc etc.
"A lot of these masks cater to mutants, but some are for standard faces. Just find one you like and bring it to me. I'll pay for it." Shouji gives me a simple thumbs off and wanders to a section filled with tank tops.
Turning around to look at mannequin heads of masks and pictures of what they had on display, I scanned my eyes over them to see what I liked. I want something not too eyecatching...
Get that one.
What? No.
Why not??
It's bright fucking red and is covered in rhinestones.
Loserrrr
I mainly picked ones that looked the most like mine. Simply two-colored with white eyeholes. I'd only need about two or three more than the current one I have, so it shouldn't take too long too find them.
But, each one I picked up just didn't feel right.. I mean, I'd be perfectly fine with wearing them. They all look fine.. but the fact that I need to wear a mask still felt so.. pathetic.
I thought you were OVER this bullshit?
Wait, what bullshit?
The whole 'I shouldn't wear this mask... I shouldn't depend on this mask...' thing
I didn't even know it was a thing before, thank you!!
Yeah, because you forgot
...I forgot?
Yeah, but I didn't
How does that work?
No idea, but I never forgot. You hate wearing this mask. You hate having to depend on it. You hate splitting, you hate what happened, and you hate what happened because of what happened.
...the beginning started to make sense but you kinda lost me at the end there...
Ugh, ever since the whole... clone thing and seeing you murder yourself multiple times and, ya know, avoiding all human contact up until now because you were never sure if you existed or were just a clone of yourself and feared that any sort of touch or harm done to you would make you melt away into mud therefore ending your entire confusing, somewhat-existence.
...Oh. That.
Yeah. You tried going to family for help, but they rejected you. They said you were too old to be asking help from your family, it was too late in life for you to actually be sick with something.
..Yeah I-I remember that.
Ever since then, you hated yourself for the mask. When you worked for the Hassaikai for, like, a day, when your mask broke, you were thankful to Toga for helping you, but you hated needing help in the first place.
And that's why?
Yep... your life was soooo wonderful up until then. You got into UA, buuuuut... you dropped out pretty quick. Went a little crazy, didn't ya? Thing is.. you were crazy even before you created the clones, just in a different way. It was a time where your parents didn't think of you as weak, you were ''emotionally mature", "independent", and sooooo "smart", apparently.
And I'm guessing I never was?
No. You were not "emotionally mature", you were sick. You weren't "independent", you were lonely. I'll give you this, though, you're somewhat smart.
Thanks, I guess.
You're so nonchalant about all of this... are you unaffacted? You make it such a big deal about how important it is to have a sense of identity... yet you don't? Doesn't that bother you?? Doesn't that make you want to shrivel up and just DIE?!
...Yeah kinda. But I'm just... not surprised. Not surprised I dropped out of UA, it's crazier to think I got in in the first place, not surprised I was kinda off the rails before the clone situation, just... not surprised.
Well that's sad.
Yeah, I guess so... but I'm not really worried about that right now... what I'm worried about is Shouji... I want to trust him... but I'm guessing the reason I don't is because he's wearing a mask? And I see masks as making someone weak and dependent??
You got it.
Huh... you know more about me than I do. Either way... I'll spend today to get closer to him. He doesn't deserve my mistrust, not after everything he's done.
Good Idea.
And so, I did. I grabbed the two masks I picked out, and brought them over to Shouji using all the strength in my legs. I won't let my views on personal strength get between us.
"You ready to go?"
"Yep!"
"Cool."
We walked into the line to the register, standing and waiting patiently. I felt how tense I was, and I forced myself to relax. Lowering my shoulders and taking silent yet deep breaths, I slowly grew comfortable next to him.
I'll get close enough to trust him, even if it kills me.
---
We had already begun making our way to the third store today. Shouji had 2 large bags of clothes in his hands. I had offered to carry them, but he was too nice, insisting and saying that it helped him get in a good workout. I agreed hastfully with a sigh.
He's really too good for this world, huh?
He worked up a really small sweat as he carried my bags, and I only had a small one that contained my masks. I felt bad.
But, he seemed to notice.
"Why don't we stop in this ice cream place?" He motioned back to said place with a third hand. I nodded quickly, ice cream is the fucking best. It's the only solice I find in this cruel world... a true peacemaker... the end of all wars in the world and bringer of-
Wait.. Am I really going on an emotional rant about ice cream?
Yes. Yes I am.
Either way, Shouji and I walk into the shop, cold and creamy air immediately hitting our faces while multiple pleasant smells wafted around the room all at once.
We headed into the short line ahead of us, getting a good look at the menu ahead that was in a soothing match of pink and mint green. Everything about this place was soothing. Nice temperature, cool colors, wonderful aromas and not too loud or busy. As we walked ahead to the counter, I couldn't stop staring at the pale pink and white checkered floor.
"Good afternoon, sirs! What can I get you?"
"Afternoon. I'll have a coffee ice cream cone, please." I speak up first, careful to suppress my other voice.
"And I'll have a matcha green tea cone with squid ink drizzle." Shouji says as if he isn't commiting some sort of hate crime.
...I know I said I would learn to trust him today, but how can you trust someone who fucking orders THAT?
"Of course! It'll be out in a minute." The girl at the counter says with a smile as if she isn't completely disgusted by what Shouji just said.
We sit at a simple two-seater, and Shouji sets down the bags next to him. And I try my best not to stare at him in absolute awe.
"Something the matter?" He looks at me. Okay apparently you're not that subtle.
"Nothing, it's just... what the fuck?"
"Yeah, I get that reaction a lot when I order." He laughs quietly. HE'S ORDERED THAT BEFORE??
"How... just how...."
"You absolute heathen."
He hums at me and lays his hands neatly in front of him across the table.
"When it's brought over here, you should try it."
"Wh-wh.. Wh"
"Are you trying to poison me?"
"No, it's genuinely good. It mixes the herbal and sweet flavor of the green tea and gives it just a bit of saltiness. Squid ink tastes like basically nothing except slightly salty.
"..so soy sauce but not soy sauce?"
"Yeah."
"..maybe I'll give it a try."
And, on time, a waiter comes over and brings us our cones in a pale pink cone-holder that looked a lot like a candelabra.
"Enjoy your ice cream." He smiles and waves goodbye with his wings. I wave bye at him as he leaves.
"Here." Shouji holds out a little spoon and I hesitantly scoop up the abomination that is his ice cream.
I take a simple bite and..
What the hell, this is actually good.
"What kinda witchery and wizardcraft..." I mutter and he chuckles at me.
"I told you." He says and just barely pulls down his mask. Before I can ask how he'll eat it, a huge fuckin' reptile lookin' tongue slithers from behind it and takes a chunk from the ice cream. Shouji stretches his mask farther so the chunk will fit behind and in his mouth, leaving me in fUCKING SHOCK.
"...why not just take it off? Wait- unless you have issues with your mask too and I'm sorry for being insensitive!" I'm way too frantic to apologize and he, once again, shrugs it off.
"I have no problem with removing it, I'd just rather not do it in public.. a lot of people don't really like it..."
"Hm. We're in a pretty conservative area too, aren't we? Mutants aren't really welcome... I saw you get a few nasty glares, some scared kids....a few women pulled their children away from you, too... it was ridiculous." I scowl behind my mask, but Shouji seemed somewhag comfortable.. yet distraught.
"I'd much prefer if people didn't hate me for the way I looked, but it can't be helped... I'm very used to it, but I don't want to be." His eyes flashed a bit of hurt across them as he licked off another chunk of ice cream. Wow... he seems a lot more bothered than I thought he'd be. I've rarely seen him express any sort of emotion, and yet... this.
Now I feel bad, really bad. Not trusting him just because he just so happens to wear a mask... how disgusting can I be?
"It's alright, though... I suppose." He sighs.
"It's really not.." I sympathize with him as I hear the bell above the door ding behind me.
My eyes drift behind me to see a tired mother, a little young, maybe a bit older than me, and her child. An adorable little girl.
I looked and saw Shouji again, he glanced at the little girl, and immediately seemed a lot more at ease. He must like kids, or something.
..ohhh
OHHHHH!
THAT'S why he's distraught. It's not just because of the discrimination... he likes kids! He doesn't like seeing them be scared because of him!
"..so, I'm guessing you like little kids?"
"Yep. I want to be a father one day.. they're just so nice and sweet." I see an indent of a smile beneath Shouji's mask. He's so pure, oh my god..
Then next to the counter, I saw the same mother with her child. She looked defeated as she put away her wallet and the child was looking at her expectantly.
"I'm sorry, Machi... no ice cream today." The mom smiles sadly down at her daughter, Machi. Machi looked sad, but also defeated enough to not put up a fight for ice cream. The woman was about to leave after waving bye to the staff, but Shouji basically jumped up out of his seat and walked over to the woman.
I looked with intent as I saw him chat with her and her daughter. After a couple of seconds, he pulled out his wallet and handed her a couple of bills. Initially, she refused, but he insisted and she eventually took it. Going back in line. Shouji returned with an air of confidence.
"That was nice of you."
"I guess it was."
---
It was eventually time that we left, and we all met up on the main floor of the mall. The was... something different about all of us as we came back. Some seemed happier, some seemed a bit more sad... some were confident. It was a change...
And I think it was for the better.
We left, and the whole way home, I talked with Shouji. I'm happy I got to know him a bit better...
I shouldn't be too quick to judge. I wasn't any of what I thought initially... he was independent and strong... a figure you could lean on. All day he was helping people besides me. Helping someone reach something on a high shelf, paying for things if someone was short on cash, calming down parents' children, even if they clearly showed they didn't like him. He didn't care what people thought of him... all he thought of was helping others, because it made him feel good. He felt it was right.
He was a true hero.
I wish I could be more like him.
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(A/N: So... It's my birthday!! I'm finally 14!)