"I'm okay."
"No, Aiden, you are not okay. Auriana and Chandler are sleeping in their cribs and I can deal with any situation you're about to reveal to me."
"N-no... I-I just can't."
"Why? Don't you trust your own wife about whatever this is?" Elsa frowned.
"It's just-you c-can't fix it. It's... She's.."
Elsa sighed and sat down next to the fire king on the bed, urging him to lay down next to her. Aiden hesitantly followed his wife's command and buried his head on her chest, his ears soothed by the sound of her heartbeat. Puffy red eyes, messy black hair and runny nose never did meant "Okay" or "Alright." It was just one of his cover ups to endure the weakened mask he had mastered to wear for almost fifteen years.
You're a mess.
But you're my mess.
My beautiful mess.
"Honey, you better speak up. I don't like seeing you like this. I hate, seeing you like this." Elsa kissed his cheek reassuringly, "Please, baby?" She wiped a tear away, cupping his face with her hands. Aiden sniffles, taking her hand and pressed a kiss to it. She giggled and wrapped it around his own, whispering, "Now tell me, what's wrong?"
His tears were different. If he would cry when he was a thirteen years old prince, those tears consisted temporary sadness and frustration, even confusion about what his life is supposed to be about. He once looked for the thrill-that gorgeous, heart quickening thrill that he used to yearn for.
But now...
That void that had engulfed him returned like a demon; haunting him again and again. His blood boiled to fate, hotter than any hell can muster.
"I'm-I'm sorry." He softly muttered.
"You didn't do anything wrong, lover. You don't need to apologize for anything." Elsa lifted his chin, cuddling close to him.
"I'm a father, I'm your husband, the last thing I want to happen is look weak in front of you, and our children."
"You don't have to bottle up those feelings once again," Elsa insisted, "I took the bad out of myself when I did that same mistake for thirteen years."
Aiden looked deep into her soul; deeper than those gorgeous, glossy blue eyes. Its black depths reflected frozen walls, cold tears cascading down rosy cheeks, knees hugged back and emotions brimming and shaking down beneath.
What a strong woman he married.
"Death is a scary thing, isn't it?"
Aiden's mouth hung agape.
"H-how did you know?"
Unresponsive to almost five letters.
The letter from Ronald Indulf.
"She was a beautiful, loving and energetic soul, Aiden. I'm blessed that I got to know her," Elsa smiled tearfully, "... I.. I have no words for her death. But I do know I feel.. Saddened. I didn't get to bond much with her, but she's the one you protected for so many years. And I bet she's a person worth fighting for."
Aiden quietly sobbed, ".. She truly is."
"Oh, lover," Elsa sniffled, taking her husband to her warm arms, "I'm here for you. Baby, I'm here for you. You kissed my tears before, I think it's time for me to return the favor."
Aiden wiped excess, "Thank you. Oh gods up above, Elsa, T-thank you!"
"It's my duty, my king." Elsa smiled, "And I would continue to do so, until my last breath. Promise me, Aiden, please."
Aiden squeezed her hands tightly, "Yes?" He asked softly.
"We're not going to make the same mistakes we almost did. We're not going to leave our children, or any of our family to mourn for us. Please."
The way she pressed her forehead against his own engraved something in his heart. The way those perfect, full red lips pressed against his own drove him into the edge of insanity.
"I promise." He firmly declared.
"When are we going to sail to the Northern Isles?"
"... I d-don't know. But I do know we have to. It said in the letter I have to make the arrangements for... my cousin's coronation."
"Alright," Elsa hesitantly sighs, then she puts on a brave smile and embraced her husband out of comfort, burying her head on his chest, "Sleep is what we need right now. Tomorrow, we're going to think things over, and make sure we're ready, okay?"
Aiden nods, "Okay. You go ahead and take some rest, I.. I want some time alone."
Elsa bit her lip, and shakily nodded. She watched as the fire king remove himself from the bed and went towards the balcony entrance to get some of his personal space. She knew they all need some space sometimes, even some solitude. That dam of emotions had been stuck in the fire king's heart for too long, it is literally unhealthy.
____________________________________
I'm orphaned.
I'm damn orphaned.
Those were the only two thoughts that kept banging on his head for some hour now. It was hard to accept reality, and the truth always hurts. However positive it is it will always have something that can burn your chest and smudge your stance to go forward.
His fists gripped the edges of the railing, burn marks beginning to form beneath his palms while he avoided to inhale the smoke coming out from below. Every vein of his shook, his entire body trembling in both grief and sorrow. He... Didn't even know how to express his emotions properly, years crying in the closet had affected exposure.
His watery gaze turned to the stars, and for once, he freed his tear and gazed at them with quivering lips.
A small, white star twinkled at him twice, as if it was a diamond flashing out its rays to a spectrum.
Is that you I see, mother?
A pained swell pulsated through his heart, his throat running dry for a moment. His firm belief he told Elsa about, it haunted him. And now, maybe, or certainly, it was proven, beyond science and other forms of knowledge.
You deserved the world.
The woman had lived a rough life, and her own son knew she didn't get to taste a day without negativity or distress. She deserved the day where nobody kept telling her she's a demon, or a freak. She deserved a life where she can be treated what she deserves to be treated.
Memories of comforting lullabies, broken oaths bloomed through Aiden's mind.
I love you, mama.
Flames ignited.