Chapter 6-
"Just turn in this corner. My house is the one with the whitish roof."
"I know where it is," Megan snapped and makes a sharp turn as she continued to complain to herself out loud so that we could all hear it. "I still don't get why I have to drive you guys. Why can't you guys take a public bus? I could have spent more time with Andy."
"Because you were that promised to drive us, and can I remind you that you were also the one that decided to drag us along your little double date? It wasn't my fault," I mumbled, rolling my eyes at her complains.
"We could have stayed for another hour if you both weren't looking so tense and awkward with one another," she shot back.
"Least you don't have to spend the rest of the evening with him" I silently add under my breath as I glared at Calvin. He smirked back in return, finding the whole thing amusing.
Now that I think about it, I wish I didn't agree to go to his house, but I need him to throw it away. I was determined to keep up my façade as we both got out of Megan's car. Staring at the house made it all much realer that I'll be alone with another person of the opposite sex I wasn't too familiar with since the incident. I drew in small deep breaths.
"Do you need me to pick you up later?" she asked, cocking her head to the side. "I can probably get permission, if you don't feel comfortable going home too late in the night."
I shook my head at her offer with a tight smile. I didn't know what we were doing, or what time we would finish either. "No, it's okay, but thank you for the offer."
"Well when you get home, give me a call okay?" she narrowed her eyes at Calvin and I for a moment. "Got it?"
I flicked my hand in dismissal. "Yes, I will. Now hurry up home before your mom kills you and start blowing up your phone."
"I will," she huffed. "But did you both have some fun today, at least?"
I looked at Calvin and then shrugged. Our double date consisted of mainly him sleeping and then following Megan and Andy a few feet behind while they ate and joked with each other. We didn't really say anything much, besides a few words exchange. Overall? "Yeah, I guess. Did you?"
"Obviously, though I'm still mad at Calvin for ruining my kiss," she growled as Calvin rolled his eyes, shoving his hands into his jean pockets with a frown.
"I merely offered you gum. How did that ruin the kiss?" he shot.
"Because I was centimeter away from his damn lips before you decide to come out of nowhere!"
"Oh yeah," Calvin replied, scratching the back of his neck as if he couldn't find a valid answer and he probably didn't want to admit he was wrong either though.
How did I know?
Because I do the same too when I'm trying to find a good excuse.
"Yeah you better not ruin the mood next time, or I'll seriously skin you in your sleep," Megan threatened as she started up her car again and turned to Calvin. "Make sure to drive her home and not let her walk back alone."
"And you make sure to signal me next time you're about to make a move on Andy," Calvin replied with a grin.
"Will do," she laughed before wiggling her eyebrows playfully. "You better not like rape her or something."
Immediately my whole body froze at that one word and my breath quickened. I knew she meant it as a joke, but the word alone almost made me fall to my knees and hyperventilate.
Rape.
I felt like I was going to throw up.
Rape?
Calvin wouldn't do that right?
Sure, he's quiet but he's well behaved, right?
I mean Joshua would have told me if he was a bad person.
Calvin snorted at her joke, shaking his head. "Stop joking like that, Megan. Now hurry up and go because it's already four."
She widened her eyes, not noticing her words made me froze right on that spot and my hands shook more with every passing moment as she stared at her wristwatch and muttered a curse under her breath. "Shit, I'm going to be late. Okay, I'll see you Monday."
Great.
Now I feel even more nervous at the thought of being alone with Calvin as I see her car disappear when she turned.
Rape.
Why did she have to joke about that of all things?
I had been fine keeping the thought away, keeping it locked in the back of my head. Unconsciously, I rubbed at my heart, trying to ease the tension around it. I didn't know Calvin, but he always hung around my group of friends. He was fine.
He had to be.
I felt him touch my shoulder and I flinched violently at the contact. My eyes darted to see him looking at me with much confusion and concern. "Reina?"
I slowly drifted my attention to the concrete floor, trying to calm myself down.
We are not in an alley.
He is not them.
He will not hurt me.
But it didn't work.
The memories flashed quickly in my mind with each passing moment.
"Reina. Do you want to go home right now? If you want, I can make my mom drive you home. I can do whatever I need to do by myself, it's fine if you don't want to come in."
I don't know why, but something about that comment calmed me. Just a bit.
I slowly shook my head suddenly feeling cold.
No.
I am going to do this.
I need to prove to myself that I can do this.
This was Calvin we were talking about, so nothing bad would happen.
He's best friends with Joshua.
He wouldn't do anything like that.
"No, it's okay, may I use your bathroom first?" I managed to ask with a rather tight smile. I hoped he didn't try to call out on my façade, because I don't think I would handle someone looking at me like I was crazy. "Please?"
"Yeah, sure." Calvin looked unease but gave me a small nod as we slowly walked into his house.
I have been to his house more than once or twice because of the parties he threw so I'm not surprise how large and spacious it was. Seriously, his parents had to both be making close to six figures to live in this nice of a neighborhood. It's a two story house with a backyard, but the house was usually full of people laughing, drinking, or something along those lines. I would know because Joshua also always called me to help him because he was too tired to get home by himself from partying all night. I didn't really like Calvin's house because it always seems too tidy and there was never a single picture of him or his family.
It felt too fake.
It almost felt more like a hotel room than an actual house seeing how there wasn't anything that looked like a family's home.
"Um, I know where the bathroom is," I said awkwardly as he led me upstairs.
"Yeah I know. I just need to tell my mom that I have a guest here," he explained.
"Oh, okay."
Half of me was somewhat shock that his mom is home and another part of me was glad someone else is home that was the opposite sex from Calvin. I took a pause as I glanced to where Calvin parent's room was before I step inside the bathroom. Upon going in, it was like my legs just gave in, I fell into the cold marble floor. I tried my hardest not to have a mental break down in front of someone but now that I am alone, I did.
I started to weep at the memory's minutes before.
Rape.
Rape.
Rape.
That was all that went through my mind as I quickly ripped open my small bag and look for my small purse.
Inside it, I found the razor.
My escape.
I push up my sleeves, so my wrist was exposed before dragging the razor to a healing scar, reopening it. I gasped at the pain, but I didn't stop. I don't think I could if I wanted to. I needed the memories to stop first, or else I'll lose what is left of my sanity.
Slowly, the pain in my heart lessoned while my arms started to throb instead from the pain. After a few seconds, I let the razor drop from my hands and onto the white marble floor, the blood instantly spread from the razor onto the white marble floor.
I was memorized by the sight as I watched the blood trickled down my wrist. I continued to sit there for a few more seconds to calm myself down and remind myself that I am safe before starting to clean the mess I made.
I almost forgot that I was not at home since I was so focus on getting the memories out of my head.
Wrapping my wrist with some paper towels and also my own band-aids I carried around, hoping it will stop bleeding before I leave this bathroom, and clean the floor just to make sure. I made sure that I didn't leave any blood behind and clean my razor before putting it back into my purse. I made sure to flush the toilet paper that had blood smeared all over it.
I stared at my wrapped arms. There was some spots that was still blooding heavily, seeping through it, but it'll have to do. I pulled my long sleeves over it and looked at the mirror. I looked like a mess. My mascara was running, and my eyes was red from crying.
I quickly redid everything and force myself to smile once more. "Better act like your fucking happy, you miserable bitch."
"Reina?"
I jumped at Calvin's sudden voice. "Y-yeah?"
"I ordered Chinese food, if that's okay with you. I know we didn't eat much before. After that, we'll get to work."
I slowly opened the door and look up at him curiously. "What exactly am I doing today?"
"You'll find out soon enough."
"Right."
I followed him silently only a few steps behind him. We walked to the living room as he sat on the couch. I decided to sit to the one further from him. We stay quiet for a couple of minutes before he cleared his throat, clearly not comfortable with the silent between us.
"Do you want to watch something? I have all the channels and we can watch a movie or something till the food comes," he mumbled as he turned on the television before holding the remote out for me to take. "You like anything in particular? Action movies, right?"
"Yeah, let's see what there is." I replied, taking the remote from his hand, without touching him directly. I began flipping through the channels in a daze.
I wondered why Calvin told me to come over?
What did he want me to do? Why me?
I wonder if London is home right now already or is she still out with her "friends"?
I needed to call her later.
I finally stopped at a show that had someone firing a gun at a car. I watched, amazed as the scene unfolded right before my eyes. I never got to watch television at home anymore, because I was either looking over London so she doesn't do something stupid and crazy or trying to finish homework in time.
I remembered I always watched crime shows with my dad because that was his favorite things to watch. A small smile formed on my face at the thought of a rather distant memory that caught Calvin's attention. "So, you like watching crime shows like CSI?"
"I don't really care as long as it's a crime show that has action in it," I admitted, shrugging my shoulders.
"I'm guessing you can watch anything so long as it's action then?" Calvin asked.
"I guess you can say that," I replied, not really paying attention to him anymore because of the fighting scene in front of me now. I didn't even know almost half an hour had already passed when someone rang the doorbell. He gets up from his seat to get the door, his legs brushing on my knees.
The contact was merely tiny, but I was hyperaware with the fact that I didn't try to pull away immediately like I would usually. Even at the movie theater, when his head hit my shoulder, I didn't panic. It was weird, something I never thought about until now.
I continued to stare at the show, trying to get my mind straight as Calvin got the food out and handed me a plate of Chow Mein. "Hurry up and eat, we have little less than about an hour or so to get this done."
"An hour?" I said, taking a pause and stared up at the time. I frowned, cocking my head to the side in confusion. "Why an hour in particular?"
"Don't you need to be home at a certain time?" he asked after swallowing his food.
I shrugged because I used to have a curfew. Now, it was anything goes. "Not really."
"Well I'm still getting you home by six latest. Can't have you staying up late, can we?" he sat down his food as he got up. I peered up at him curious as he made his way to the kitchen. "You want something to drink? I have soda and water."
"Um, do you have hot chocolate?" I asked, feeling bashful and embarrassed with my request. It was the first time in what seemed like forever to ask for something from someone. Normally I wouldn't, but for whatever reason, I wanted it.
Maybe it was a way to calm myself down.
"Hot chocolate? With Chinese food?" he let out an amused chuckle and I started to play with my food, embarrassed.
"Don't know it till you try it," I murmured, though it probably won't taste good to the general population unless you were me. "If not, I'm fine with soda or water."
"I'll see what I can do," he said before disappearing into the kitchen. I continued to eat while watching CSI until my phone started to ring. I stared at the caller ID only a second before picking up.
"Hi mom," I greeted.
"Hi honey. Where you are? How are you? I'm just checking up on you," she said with a small, forced laugh. "You know, since I haven't been particularly home lately, and I have to check on my two daughters."
"I'm at Calvin's house. I should be home by six latest," I answered.
"Oh, do you know where London is then? I couldn't get a hold of her all day."
"I think she's at a friend's house tonight..." I trailed off, though I wasn't particularly sure myself. Since London was mad at me, she hasn't been answering my phone calls or text messages.
"Oh okay. I hope you're having fun. On the way home, can you actually help me pick up a few things from the pharmacy? I think my prescriptions are due soon for a refill and I need someone to help me pick it up," she asked finally. "I already called the pharmacy, and they said you can pick it up and ship it to me."
So that's why she was calling.
"Um sure," I mumbled as I set my food down, suddenly feeling full. There was an uncomfortable silence between us as neither of us said anything after that. There really wasn't anything else to say to one another at this point. The unspoken incident had caused a rift between us that neither one of us wanted to bring up, scared to trigger the other person.
Another awkward silence stretched before she coughed on the other end of the line. "Thank you for your help, Reina. I'll see you soon when I come back and we can catch up on what's happening. I love you."
"Okay," I whispered, racking my hands through my hair to calm myself down. "Bye."
I ended the call quickly and look at the screen. We've been talking for only a minute and twenty seconds long. Yet two third of the call was just filled with coughs, and awkward silences. It felt like I couldn't even talk to her anymore.
"Fucking hell."
I jumped in surprise by the sudden sound and I turned in time to see someone coming through the front door and slamming it loudly. I watched as someone, more specifically a guy, stumbled in, obviously drunk. He was almost as old as my dad. His hair was all over the place like he has been running it with his hands all day. His tie was undone, along with his dress shirt.
I tensed as his eyes landed on me and he snarled. "Who the fuck are you?"
Before I can answer, Calvin comes into the living room and locked eyes with the guy. He looked tense as he shifted his eyes on me and then back to him. I felt him gesture for me to go next to him, so I silently did, hiding behind him as I stared at the man. "Why are you home early, Erik?"
It was as if he was ready to fight.
"Who the fuck is she?" he asked again, getting angrier as he pointed at me. "What kind of bitch did you bring to my house?"
I flinched at the harsh words as Calvin backed up more, letting me clutch onto his shirt nervously.
"You weren't supposed to be home until later on," Calvin said, ignoring him which seemed to piss him off more.
"Is she one of those fuck toys or yours?"
That made me flinch harsher at his words. It was so full of accusation and hate.
Who was he?
I looked up at Calvin. His eyes were still locked onto Erik's as he handed me the mug with hot chocolate in it. I stared at the mug and then back at him, not sure what to do.
"Go upstairs, go into my room and wait in there. Don't come out no matter what," he whispered to me. He gently gave me a push as I went upstairs.
I couldn't help but wonder what in the world was going on?
Before I closed the door, I heard a punch rang out from the silent house followed by a grunt; as if someone fell on the floor.
My mind went blank.
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Reasons to live: 6."Everything in life is temporary. So if things are going good, enjoy it! Because it won't last forever. And if things are going bad, don't worry. It can't last forever either." ~Author Unknown