↱"Be extremely subtle, even to the point of formlessness. Be extremely mysterious, even to the point of soundlessness. Thereby you can be the director of the opponent's fate."↲
-Sun Tzu.
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where we left off/the colossal titan
THE SCOUTS HAD SEEN THE BARREL THROWN OVER THE WALL, and they were sure the Colossal Titan's appearance was imminent, but there was a moment of silence before Bertholdt transformed, a moment that Hange took advantage of as all of them stared at the sky in shock.
"Quick! We need to get rid of the rest of the Armored Titan!" Hange yelled, feverishly trying to get her squad to follow her lead, but to no avail.
She had enough time to voice her command, but not enough to carry it through because Armin rushed up in front of her.
"Section Commander!" Armin shouted, grabbing her attention as he tried to pry her away from Reiner. "We need to get away from him! That's Bertholdt in there and we can't be around Reiner when he gets here!"
Squad Levi and Squad Hange both began to follow Armin's lead, scattering like roaches away from Reiner, crowding together behind crumbled buildings and large stones to protect themselves from the blast that was sure to come.
But, nothing ever came.
The Colossal Titan did not appear and as Katerina glanced up from her position behind a large boulder, all she saw was Bertholdt himself. He was wearing his old Scout's uniform, save for the vest, and she felt the entirety of that insult down in her bones. He used his ODM gear to make sure that Reiner was alive and well before setting his eyes on the Scouts that were hiding around him.
"We need to kill him," Hange whispered into Katerina's ear, roughly shaking her shoulders.
"Watch it!" Katerina snapped, slapping her away. "You're getting your spit all over my ear."
"We can't kill him," Armin said, his eyes wide as he took in Bertholdt's appearance. He looked so different than he had before he betrayed them. He was reminded of the first day he had met him and the way his boyish smile was hesitant and ginger. But that smile was replaced by a scowl and a coldness in his dark eyes that made Armin do a double-take. "I want to try and negotiate."
"Armin, we talked about this," Katerina warned, trying to pull him back down as he emerged from their hidden position. "Armin!"
"Let me," he insisted, coming out from behind the boulder fully. He had his hands up, away from his blades, trying his best to show Bertholdt that he was nothing to fear.
The feeling wasn't mutual because Bertholdt had his blades drawn in an instant, crouching down in front of Reiner so that he was ready for anything that Armin could throw at them.
"I came out, hands up, hoping that we could find a compromise..." Armin said, speaking his words slowly and deliberately as his eyes flickered between Bertholdt's and the hands that rested on his blades. "Compromise. That's all we want."
"You almost killed Reiner," he retorted, his grip on his blades growing stronger and his face turning red. "I don't think a compromise is what you were after."
"What are your terms?" Armin said, trying to ignore Bertholdt's anger and keep a level head. "Your terms, you must have some."
Bertholdt hesitated for a second, glancing behind Armin to see if anyone was popping up and taking a step forward as he did so. "You want to know our terms?"
"Yes. That's all I want."
"We want Eren," he said, gesturing to his Titan form lingering around the city. "And, the demise of humanity within the walls."
Armin let those words settle, mostly because he was shocked that it was as drastic as that. He thought that there was an even field they could negotiate, but it really seemed that Bertholdt wanted to annihilate them all.
He wondered what had changed Bertholdt since the last time they had seen him, sweaty and panicked on top of Reiner, crying over the fact that he truly cared about them all and that those moments they shared weren't lies.
"Who decides that that's necessary?" Armin questioned, not bothering to hide the fear and shock in his face.
"It's my call."
Katerina was the one that was most betrayed by Reiner's true identity, she didn't even care about the bumbling Bertholdt because she was so blinded by the man she had grown to care for in her darkest times.
Armin, however, felt most betrayed by Bertholdt. Throughout their training, they shared the most and felt the closest. Armin thought he was reasonable and willing to change, he had seen it in his eyes that day they took Eren back. But whatever semblance of the soldier he cared for was gone.
"But, what about Annie?" Armin said, stepping closer with his hands still up. "We're growing tired of torturing her, she's gotten so used to it that she doesn't even cry in pain anymore. Figuring out new ways has become-"
"I don't believe for a second you're torturing her," Bertholdt screamed, calling Armin's bluff and inching closer, drawing his blades out slowly.
Armin realized that Bertholdt was a second away from attacking, from losing his cool and realizing he had nothing to gain from this conversation. Armin started regretting his decision to show himself.
He should have listened to Katerina.
He began to walk away until Bertholdt used his ODM gear, hooking onto buildings on either side of him so he could come down beside Armin, blocking him from leaving.
"Do you think I'm meek and mild?" Bertholdt seethed, his face inches away from Armin's, so much that he could see his sunburnt skin. "You've been trying to buy time so that all your little friends that are hiding can kill Reiner."
"Then why are you talking to me?" Armin countered, not wavering and not showing any fear, even though his lower lip was threatening to quiver.
"I'll admit," Bertholdt began, his face softening a bit as his tight hands loosened a bit. "I wanted to see if I still cared for all of you," his eyes flickered next to him as he saw Katerina slowly surfacing from her position. "But I finally realized that I am no longer conflicted about killing you all. Unlike Reiner, I do not go into states of duality by disassociating myself. I've known who I was all along and I never forgot. Your kindness and my weakness made me susceptible to you scum, but not anymore."
Bertholdt was so focused on Katerina that he didn't see Mikasa, scaling the side of the building, launching herself off behind Bertholdt.
She swang down, and before he could realize it, she had sliced off one of his ears. It was not what she was aiming for but Armin had been directly in her line of rage and she wouldn't harm a hair on his head, no matter what.
Katerina took advantage of Bertholdt's dazed state to tackle Armin to the ground, away from Bertholdt.
Mikasa was still trying to engage with Bertholdt, until he launched himself up in the air, his gas tanks taking him higher and higher.
Armin went to follow him before Mikasa appeared in front of him; Katerina had him by the neck and Mikasa had him by the arm.
"Do not follow him," Katerina whispered into his ear, her hand loosening on his neck as Mikasa dropped her hand.
"Why?"
"Everyone run!" Hange yelled, attempting to push her squad to safety, but it was no use.
That booming thunder and blinding lightning that they had expected before, finally came.
It wasn't like his other transformations, were smoke erupted and they were all left in the haze of the fog. No, this was different.
It was different because as the thunder grew louder and the lightning intensified, a wave of heat blew them all away.
He had leveled the city and taken all the Scouts off their feet and flying in the air.
The air was billowing and they could not see anything. Katerina was grasping at anything to keep her stable, to keep her tethered to avoid slamming into a building.
She had thought about the many ways for her to die, but snapping her neck against the top of a building was not one of them.
Out of the corner of her eye, by some miracle, Katerina saw Armin and Mikasa with their capes billowing around them as they latched onto an old street pole that was threatening to break.
This is not the way they die.
Katerina used every drop of strength she had to launch her ODM hooks right beside them, screaming at the top of her lungs as she pulled their bodies toward her.
"Hold...on!" she screamed, wrapping her arms around both of them as the pole broke, preparing herself for the shattering impact of her body hitting the ground or a building or a boulder.
The pole broke and they went flying with Katerina holding onto them and wrapping herself around their bodies as a human shield.
She closed her eyes waiting for impact until she felt a cushy pressure on her back.
"Thank the Walls!" she yelled, grabbing onto Eren's thumb and wrapping her body around it as Mikasa and Armin adjusted themselves in a similar position.
The smoke finally cleared and Katerina gasped as Eren placed them all on his large shoulder, she was seeing all the destruction that the Colossal Titan had done.
The entire city center was gone, obliterated into ash. The benches where she and the kids used to sit and watch the river was reduced to nothing. The building where she would go to buy clothes was gone, its foundations and everything.
And, everything that wasn't destroyed had been engulfed in flames. How, she didn't know, but it was the honest painful truth that was staring at her in the face.
"You guys are alright!" Sasha roared, colliding with Katerina's body awkwardly as Jean and Connie joined behind her.
Katerina allowed Sasha to bury her head in her chest as she continued to stare at her ruined city.
It was destroyed and she doubted that it could ever resemble the place that she called home.
"Where is Squad Hange?" Mikasa asked, tugging on Katerina's sleeve to snap her back to reality.
"Squad Hange?" Katerina began looking around to see if she could spot them. All she could see, however, was destroyed. "Hange!"
"Guys," Connie mumbled, rubbing his shiny bald head. "I-I think we're the only ones left..."
"Just the seven of us? Out of the entire vanguard?" Katerina asked, bewildered but stoic at the same time, reminding herself to push her emotions away.
Be the monster.
Be the monster.
Be the monster.
It was then, with impeccable timing, that Bertholdt began throwing any debris he could find around him toward the seven of them.
Katerina shook her head as Eren tried his best to move them away from the debris, all of them latching themselves onto his body one way or another as he jostled them around.
"Armin!" Katerina snapped, grabbing him by his cheeks. "It's time to get gritty superstar. I know you can do this! We have to think!"
Armin's cheeks flushed and Katerina rubbed his matted hair off his sweaty forehead.
"Armin! Don't make me slap you again!"
"We need to go back to Erwin," he decided, nodding his head firmly as he removed Katerina's hands from his cheeks. "We need to go back! He'll know what to do!"
"We don't have time, Armin!" Katerina shouted, looking around at the squad that was growing restless and fearful. "Think!"
"It's just another trap," he mumbled, looking at the fire that was raging near the exterior gate and then narrowing his eyes back at the Beast Titan who was still abusing the rear guard. "They want to trap us even further, this time between the fire and the Beast Titan. They herded us once and now they're doing it again."
Katerina stepped away from him as she looked at her ruined squad. They had shown little fear before but now they were trembling with it.
Just like cows for the slaughter.
"It's just us then," Katerina whispered, her voice stoic and strong, her face emotionless, but her mind racing. "We are the ones that need to take Bertholdt down."
Bertholdt had grown tired of just throwing debris, but now, he decided that his best course of action was to uproot houses from their foundations and toss those through the air.
Katerina became distracted as the monster inside her wavered as he watched Bertholdt's destruction. She was a perfect monster in all her battles, but none of them had ever taken place in her home.
The square where she had her first kiss.
"His lips tasted like garlic. I can't believe I ever thought he was cute."
The market where she used to run away from Hannes.
"Hannes, for the last time, I am not giving your mother my measurements!"
The produce shop her parents ran.
"Mother, if you make me rerack the cucumbers one more time, I swear..."
All the memories she tried to forget were resurfacing. And even though she had buried these deep down inside her, she never wanted them destroyed.
"Katerina!" Jean howled, grabbing her arm as his eyes wandered towards a silent Armin. "Armin froze! He can't think of anything right now! What should we do?"
The streets where the kids played.
The rooftop they used to lay on.
The river they watched.
"You need to take command!" Katerina snapped, without thinking as she continued to push her memories away. "You, Jean! You decide!"
All eyes, minus Armin's, turned to her in shock. They were all surprised that she was willingly, and forcefully, placing the responsibility in unwashed Jean's hands.
"But, Kat-"
"No, Jean," she insisted, grabbing his hands uncharacteristically, trying to show him how adamant she was. "I can't think straight right now! I can't be trusted to make decisions! I am reliving my personal hell and I'm too attached to lead cohesively!"
Jean was silent, gaping at her, and shaking his head slowly.
"Jean," she whispered, grabbing the back of his head as she placed her forehead on his. "You are a new person and you are a strong leader. It is time to prove to yourself that you can protect us."
Jean's eyes lit up with wonder as he watched her half-lidded eyes and her gaping mouth.
He had always thought of her as beautiful, but now he understood what it was that Hannes, Pyxis, Shadis, Erwin, and Levi had seen in her.
Strong, powerful, relentless, but fragile.
Her freckled face was covered in soot and her scars seemed more prominent in the light of the fire, but she was exquisite.
The light that drew the soldiers away from the dark.
Their safe haven.
Their hope.
"Okay," he relented, nodding his head against hers. He took a step back as he stood proudly with his chin held high. "We're going to head for the river on Eren so we can conserve as much gas as we have left. You got that, Eren?"
Eren nodded his head up and down, his eyes locating the river straight in front of them.
"And, Armin," Jean said, grabbing the small boys by his shoulder as he looked down at him. "I know how to help us survive but I don't know enough about tactics to help us win. I'm going to try and buy you enough time to figure something out."
Armin was still frozen but Katerina noticed the glint of recognition in his eyes that told her that he was thinking through all of their possibilities.
They started for the river and Katerina allowed the monster to stand down, not that it was doing her any good anyway, and think about Levi.
She wondered where he was and whether or not all this destruction would have happened if he had been there with them.
They were Squad Levi and Levi wasn't there.
However, her heart won out and she hoped that wherever he was, he would always come back to her.
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