Niall and I rush down three flights of stairs and by the time we get to the parking lot, our breathing is ragged. I was never really much of a runner.
My eyes scan the parking lot but Harry's car is no where to be found. Where could he be? There is a possibility that he is out taking care of some things but this late? On a Friday night? Harry is never really the one to get wasted or hang out in the frat parties like a normal college student would so he can't be out getting wasted and possibly getting laid.
"Fuck!!" Niall shouts. We both lean against a brick wall, shouting out all the possible places Harry could be but they are all quickly denied. He takes out a cigarette from his pocket and a lighter, he places the cigarette between his lips and the lighter comes to life with a click. He lights the cigarette perched in between his lips and takes a long drag at it. His shoulders slump back and he relaxes as he inhales the fumes, slowly letting them out in short breaths. He passes the cigarette to me and almost too quickly, I place it in between my lips and inhale; relaxing my nerves and tense muscles. Puffs of smoke escape my lips as I exhale with a deep sigh. Niall stomps on the burnt cigarette, the light illuminating and the darkness of the night creeps in again. "I think I'm going to drive around town looking for him. You can do whatever you were going to do before I interrupted." Niall pushes himself off the brick wall and I nod. I know Harry will come back, I know nothing bad happened to him.
"Okay, but if you find him you better call me." I warn, walking him to his car.
He hops into the car and it comes to life with a light purr, he rolls down his window. "Ariana, I don't know what is going on with you and Harry but..." He trails off, staring off into the distance.
"But what?" I press.
"But Harry really fucking likes you, Ariana. I don't know what the fuck you guys do but whenever he speaks about you he gets really fucking excited and even I know that he trusts you a lot and I wouldn't do anything to lose his trust." He rakes a hand through his already messy hair and let's out a deep breath.
"Why?"
"Just listen to me, Ariana. I don't know what it is but ever since you came into his life he's been acting really fucking weird and he's been a lot happier than usual, you mean a lot to him and I hope you feel the same way about him because fuck-" He rambles on and the knot in my stomach tightens. "I gotta go, I need to look for my best friend. Hope you have fun on your date." Niall gives me a sarcastic grin and starts to back up. What the hell?
I rush back inside the building and take the elevator up to my floor. Where the hell could Harry be? I am awfully worried and Niall's bitch fit grew my suspicion levels. I decide to push the negative thoughts to the back of my head and continue waiting for Jai's arrival. I walk back into my apartment slightly shaky. I grab the white sweater Harry and I went shopping for and slip it over my dress. It doesn't necessarily go with my outfit but I don't have any other sweater but my leather jacket. I hear a knock on my door and I quickly swing the door open to reveal Jai with a tuxedo and a wide smile suppressed on his handsome features.
"You look beautiful." He compliments, taking my hand in his. I lock the door behind me and take a deep breath, and as selfish as it is I push Harry to the back of my mind as we pass by his door.
"You too." I kiss his cheek and we make our way to the elevator.
-
A sip on my glass of wine set on the cup holder and listen to the idiots surrounding me, laughing away with adrenaline and alcohol laced in their systems.
"You're a fucking idiot." Jason punches Jai's arm as he tells us about the time he tricked a girl into thinking he was gay after he slept with her because he was wasted and the anonymous girl wanted more from Jai.
"Cheers," Elizabeth holds her glass of wine up, "To friendship."
"Lame." I remark, giving in and clinking my glass with the others then bringing it to my lips and let the cool wine burn down my throat. I am glad Jai reserved a table for us in one of the towns finest restaurants, the food here is delicious and it is a great way to reunite with your friends.
"So Ariana," Elizabeth says after swallowing a piece of shrimp on her plate. I slice a small piece of steak and pop it into my mouth, "I heard you've been at it with your hot neighbor." Elizabeth wiggles her eyebrows and I nearly choke on the steak. I feel Jai's hard glare on me but I chose to ignore it.
"What?" I gasp. "No. I mean we are good friends but there's nothing going on between us."
"That's not what I heard a while-" Elizabeth continues but Jai interrupts her.
"She's not with anyone, Elizabeth. Now grow the fuck up." Jai snaps, rolling his eyes and folding his arms over his chest.
"Chill." Elizabeth laughs and Jason swings his arm around her, joining her in laughter. "It was just a joke." She giggles taking another sip of the wine.
"Well it was not funny." I snap and she recoils. "Sorry," I mutter under my breath, feeling the tension rising.
They continue to talk and laugh over the stupidest things. I block them out and pick at my food, my appetite not as large as it was before. My mind involuntary goes back to Harry. I am very worried about him but I know nothing tragic happened to him. Part of me tells me to believe that Niall found him already but part of me denies it when I check my phone and there is no text or call from neither of them.
"Ari?" Jai leans into me, "You okay?" He whispers.
"Yes. Thanks." I press my lips to his and I hear Jason give us a loud "Awe."
"Shut up." I snap, flipping him off as I peck at Jai's lips multiple of times, trying to rid the images of Harry.
Elizabeth makes another snarky remark and I chose to ignore it, diving back into eating my steak.
"So, I heard Mark is hosting another party soon it's like the rumor around campus and everyone is really excited about it. Are you guys in?" She rubs her hands together in excitement and wait for our answer.
"Yea, I mean his parties are always the best and hell, if there's free alcohol then count me in!!" Jason smiles from ear to ear, excitement clear in his voice.
"Jai?" Elizabeth asks him.
"Sure. I guess I could go for a couple hours." He shrugs his shoulders and takes a bite of the lasagna on his fork.
"Ari?" Her eyes are full of excitement and I can tell she is expecting me to agree.
"No thanks, maybe next time." I shrug. I don't feel like drinking and struggling with a major hangover the next morning, it's all too frustrating and it adds another check to my list of problems.
"Why not!!" Elizabeth's face falls.
"I don't feel like it." I decide to keep my answer limited with information.
"Alright, we will call you after it's over and brag on how much you missed." She purses her painted lips.
"I don't see how you all do this, it's so fucking immature and stupid to constantly go out, get wasted, sleep with a new person everyday just for the damn bragging rights." I snap, adding an edge to my tone.
"You used to do it too!!" Elizabeth whines, her high pitch voice ringing through my ears and pushing me further.
"I used to do it. Past-tense babe, not anymore." I chuckle.
"Still." She mutters obviously with no other come back. Jason breaks the lingering moment of silence and they all begin to laugh and discuss the same topic over and over. I ignore them and fill my glass up with the wine bottle set in the middle of the table.
I rise the glass to my lips and as I tilt my head back to let the cool alcohol run down my throat, I feel a vibration in my bra. I set the glass down and slip my phone out. I don't bother to check the caller ID as I swipe my thumb across the screen, pressing the phone to my ear.
"Hello?" I say, my voice coming out as a whisper.
"Ari?" Harry's deep, shaky voice burst through the line and my heart sinks to the pit of my stomach.
"Harry!! Are you alright!" I say almost too loudly but the group doesn't notice.
He laughs a bit before says, "That's the thing, Ariana. I am always alright, okay, fine, I am never good." I hear his voice crack over the line and a light sniffle.
"Harry, what's wrong?" I lean back against the chair, nervously biting my lip.
"Me. I am fucking wrong, Ariana." I hear him inhale a deep breath and my heart shatters into tiny pieces.
"Harry, I'm coming over." I say almost too quickly. My heart hurts for this man, I know he is crying and whatever made him break was not good.
"No, I'm alright." He whispers.
"No you're not, Harry. I'm coming over." I begin to collect my items such as my purse and sweater.
"Where are you going?" Jai grabs my wrist in his hand as I begin to stand.
"I need to do something." I whisper, hoping Harry doesn't hear me. I hear Harry shuffling over the line so I put the phone down, slipping on my sweater.
"Like what?" He asks, suspicion evident clear in his voice.
"Something important." I shake my arm from his grip and quickly wave at Jason and Elizabeth as they stare at us with a shocked expression on their faces.
-
Anxiety mixed in with adrenaline courses through me as I swerve through lanes, driving as quickly as possible to get to Harry's apartment.
I need to get there and possibly try to calm him before he does anything he cannot take back. As soon as I park my car in the parking lot, I collect my stuff and hop out of my car. I run into the building and ignore the glances I receive as I rush to the elevator. I frantically press the button and a few moments later the doors slide open and I rush inside. I press the elevator doors shut and press my floor, waiting for this damn elevator to rise. I wipe my moist palms over my dress and hop around in the empty space, waiting for the doors to slide open.
I rush out of the elevator and in the matter of seconds I am heavily knocking on Harry's door.
"Harry? It's Ariana, please open the door." I whimper over the other side of the door. I am so worried for this man I can't stand the thought of him being hurt, I care about him too much. I feel the vile rise in my throat after a few torturing minutes of silence. I knock again with a bit more force but he doesn't answer. My stomach twisted violently in my abdomen, creating the most crucial feeling.
As I am dialing his number into my phone, relief flows through me as I hear the door creek open a bit.
"Harry!!" I shriek, wrapping my arms around his waist. A weight lifts off my shoulders as he wraps his arms around my back. We pull away after a minute and I stare up at him and he looks down at me.
His face falls when he remembers why I am here. Harry wore his usual black t-shirt and gray sweatpants, his hair matted down on his forehead and his face was pale. His normally green eyes were red and puffy, with the clear remains of tears staining his cheeks.
I place my hands on his cheeks, rubbing the rolling tears down his cheeks with the pad of my thumb. I hate to see Harry like this, so upset and completely broken. He lightly places his hands on my hips and brings me closer to him, walking in his apartment together.
"What's wrong? Are you okay?" I stammered, more than a million thoughts racing through my mind.
"No." Harry ran a hand through his hair, only making it look worse. He takes a seat on his leather couches and I sit by him, placing a hand on his back and rubbing to sooth him.
"Are you hurt?" My main concern was if Harry was hurt, I would never want Harry to be psychically or emotionally hurt in any way.
"No." Harry shrugged leaning back against the sofa. I took the opportunity to close the space between us and climb on top of his lap like I once did when I was intoxicated. He is caught off guard a bit but catches along, wrapping his arms around my back. I wipe the wetness from his face with my thumbs and he pulls me closer to his chest, nuzzling his head into the crook of my neck as he trembles.
"What's wrong?" I tangle my fingers into Harry's hair as he tries to calm down.
"Me. I'm what's wrong, Ariana." He pulls his head back up to look at me.
"Harry, don't say that." I place my hands on either side of his face, bringing out faces closer together. I hate it when Harry puts himself down like this, he doesn't deserve any of it.
"I just- I just feel so empty, Ariana." He breathes, fighting back any more tears.
This boy is psychically hurting inside, and it was hurting me as well. My heart ached for him, this boy wasn't supposed to be anything but a friend to me. I couldn't stand seeing him upset, even though he was trying his best not to show it now.
"I called you because you're the only person who I can trust. I am so fucking thankful you came by." Harry licks his lips.
"Harry, have you ever tried getting help?" I ask, hoping he says yes. Thats what Harry needs, he needs professional help.
"I can't."
"Yes you can-" He cuts me off and this time I do not mind.
"No I can't Ari. I can't because I don't want to sit in a fucking office letting out all of my feelings, they'll think I'm fucking crazy." He licks his lips again and pouts.
Harry has no one. Harry has nobody at home who cares for him, his father walked out on him when he was just a boy and his mother lives in England, far from here and from what tells me they do not get along. But with this given information, I could only try to help him.
I didn't answer though. Silence in these kinds of moments were very necessary. I felt like I had so many things to say, to help him, but nothing but silence came from it. Instead I pulled him into me, letting him wrap his arms around me and resting his head in the crook of my neck as silent sobs escaped his lips.
"I'm so sorry." Harry sniffed. Pulling away from me to wipe the tears staining his cheeks, almost as if he was clearing the evidence.
Harry trembles as he runs his hands over his face, then wrapping his arms around my back again.
"Harry," I hug him tightly, running my hands over his hair as he nuzzles his face into the crook of my neck.
"No, Ari. I can't anymore, I feel like I'm suffocating and I can't breathe anymore. The emptiness in my heart is so fucking unbearable at this point and I can't do it anymore." He sobs into my neck. My heart hurts for him, Harry does not deserve this. He does not deserve to have these thoughts he doesn't deserve any of it. Harry is too good of a man to deserve any of the pain he is in.
"Harry, stop." I pull his face from my neck and meet his red eyes. "Harry-" I breathe, feeling the vile rise in my throat. I am usually not the one to be emotional but when it comes to Harry I can't help it. "Harry, remember when we first met and I said that I had no fears?" I ask. Harrys face twist in confusion but he quickly nods.
"Well I do. And my only fear is losing you, Harry." I bring my hands to his cheeks and wipe off the tears streaming down his beautiful face. Tears freely streaming down my cheeks. "I can't lose you, Harry. I can't lose you, you mean so much to me. Harry, I know we argue a lot but I care about you so much, I can't stand to see you like this, it's hurting me so damn much to see you like this, it hurts me so much." I take shaky breaths, trying to remain calm.
He brings his shaky hands to my face and he wipes the tears rolling down my cheeks. "Jesus, Ariana." Who would've thought that after such a great time out tonight with Jai, Elizabeth and Jason I would come back to Harry's apartment straddling him and sobbing into his arms.
"I-I..." Harry stutters, biting on his lip to prevent himself from saying anything else. "Thank you." He keeps my face cupped in his large hands, pulling me closer to himself as he peppers plenty of small kisses all over my face; my nose, my cheeks, my eyelids, my forehead, and my chin.
"For what?" I giggle, feeling my heart flutter as he actually smiles. I don't know how he manages to be breaking down in tears one second and the next smiling from ear to ear with dimples and all.
"For everything. Now stop crying, baby. You don't need to cry for me." Harry says, finding my hands and lacing our fingers together.
"I just don't want you to feel this way about yourself," I admit. I can't control the tears streaming down my face, Harry crying was enough for me to break down into full uncontrollable sobs.
"Shh, baby. It's okay, I'll get better. I promise." He whispers into my ear, pulling me into another embrace and I place my hands on his hard chest.
"There's no reason to feel like something's wrong with you, Harry. There is nothing wrong with you." I pull away from his relaxing gesture, finding his hands and twisting our fingers together again. If I was the only thing Harry cared about, it probably hurt him to see him cry like this exactly how it hurt me to see him cry.
"I'll get better, I promise." Harry repeats, "I'll do it for you."
I cup his face in my small hands again, wiping the dry tears on his cheeks and outlining the perfect shape of his lips with my thumbs. "I care about you, Harry. A lot more than you think." I whisper, our heads leaning in closer to each other. His hot breath fans against my face, his eyes are fluttered closed and if any of us make a move, our lips will finally be connected.
Before I could even realize what was happening, Harrys lips were attached to mine. The familiar burning and electricity flowing through my body as his hands traveled up from my hips and to my face, pressing our lips harder together. This is the feeling I have been longing for a while now. If this is the feeling I could feel for the rest of my life, I would.
All I can focus on is the way I part my lips and his tongue somehow finds its way into my mouth. Harry moans against my lips, creating a fire between us I never knew existed. I grabbed at Harry's hair with my hands, pulling him down onto the couch with me. I slide off his lap and with our lips still connected together, he hovers over me on the sofa with his arms separated on either side of my head. He held all of his weight on an elbow while his other remained on my thigh, with one last lap of his tongue over mine, he slowly makes his lips down to my neck, sponging soft kisses. "You're so beautiful, Ariana." he murmured, his thick accent adorning the deep of his voice wonderfully.
I felt his hand ride higher on my thigh, my legs wrapping themselves around his waist to pull him further into me as he pressed his lips back to mine. My heels digging into his lower back as I accidentally lift myself from the sofa, begging for more contact. I feel every swipe of his tongue on my neck, every suck and kiss on my neck, craving me for more. His lips slowly trail back up to mine and he pulls my bottom lip in between his teeth, a moan seizing to escape. I tangle my fingers into his hair once again, pulling on the roots hard enough to earn a loud moan from him. We have to stop, but I can't help but slipping my tongue into his mouth when he parts his lips open. Our lips move perfectly in sync, slow and torturous. I take in control and slip my hands on his broad shoulder, lightly squeezing as I kiss down the length of his neck. I kiss and swipe my tongue on the curve of his neck, then sucking on the skin of his collar bone, a moan escaping from the boy on top me.
I feel like every bad memory, every fight, every argument, every problem, is slowly dissolving away and all I focus on his Harry and all the feelings and emotions radiating from my heart. He slowly starts to grind his hips into me, driving us both insane at his slow teasing movements. Every small movement of his hips sends a wave of excitement and electricity flowing through me. A loud moan burst from our lips in unison as he rolls his hips one last time, my fingers pulling on his hair and our lips working together to create the familiar burning in the pit of my stomach.
"I can't stop," Harry breathes, taking my bottom lip in his and playfully sucking. "I've waited so long for this."
"Me either." My voice comes out strange, low and raspy, barely recognizable.
"Then don't." He says in between kisses, stopping the movement of his hips.
"We have to." I gasp as I feel the bulge in his sweatpants. He nods, his soft lips brushing against mine one last time before he detaches himself from me. He rolls himself beside me on the small sofa, my body almost rolling off the couch but he is quick to catch me, wrapping his arms around me as he holds me tight against his chest.
I can still feel the light tingly feeling on my lips from our heavy make out session. The only thing to be heard between us is our uneven breathing and the rain pounding against the windows. I don't know how to feel about this, I feel like a liar and horrible after kissing Harry like I did when I am seeing Jai. It was wrong, it was all just a mistake that we are probably going to regret in the morning but I decide to enjoy the comforting moment of silence shared between us.
"I'm sorry," Harry says, breaking the silence. "We shouldn't have-"
"It's okay." I cut him off, not wanting him to finish it. I know he enjoyed that as much as I did.
"No it's not," He sighed, I stared up at him with a puzzled expression on my face. He stared down at me with dark eyes and I take a moment to take in all of his beautiful features, the cheery red color from his soft lips, his perfectly structured jaw, the bright emerald in his eyes, the way his nostrils are always flared, the dimples carved deep into his cheeks, his perfect teeth. Harry is attractive, a lot more attractive than any other man I've ever seen in my life. "You have a boyfriend." Harry says after a long moment of silence.
I don't know why Harry does not understand that Jai is not my boyfriend. He has never been and even though we share a few kisses from time to time, that does not mean we are an item. We are simply friends and I don't think Jai would ever want to be something more than friends. "Were not dating."
"Still," He sighs, "It isn't right. He's head over fucking heels for you and look what we just did."
"So you're saying you regret what just happened? We kissed because I care about you, Harry. Because I trust you." I admit, feeling the sting of rejection as he stays still.
"And I trust you too, baby. I just don't want you to regret this in the future." He admits.
"I won't." I assure him, slipping my hand under his shirt and he sucks in a large breath as I place my hand on his warm stomach.
"I just don't want to screw things up, again." Harry mumbles. I choose to ignore him and pretend I didn't hear, I don't want to start an argument. Instead, we stay silent. Listening to each other's breathing and the light beating of his heart as I lay my head against his hard chest.
-
omg so much happened in this chapter I am so excited and happy that they finally kissed, I feel like you guys waited long enough and it just felt right lol! I was going to update last night but then I was like nahh
made this chapter so long for the celebration of FOUR and because I reached 1.3k reads and of course this was my gift to you all lol! I love you all so much thank you all for the endless support and sweet comments they make my life!! :D
I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I love you all so much. thank you for everything :D