I'm sorry I haven't updated.
I keep saying sorry but I honestly feel like all of the unnecessary pressure to hurry up is effecting me (not in a good way)
I love the support, but a couple pms are really getting on my nerves since some of y'all are just being plain mean and aggressive.
I'm going to update on my own time, sorry if this comes off as rude, but I'm doing on my own free will, for free, so I don't take kindly to force.
On a lighter note, I made a playlist for this book!:
Home-Machine Gun Kelley
The Call-Regina Spektor
Carry You-Novo Amor
Mansion-NF
Hide and Seek-Imogen Heap
Can You Hold Me-NF
Medicate-Gabbie Hanna
Bad Liar-Imagine Dragons
Inner Demons-Julia Brennan
Therapy Session-NF
Lucid Dreams-Juice WRLD
Your Shirt-Chelsea Cutler
Out Loud-Gabbie Hanna
At My Best-Machine Gun Kelley
And here is a little note that I feel like you guys need to see if you hit rock bottom:
Self Care For When You Hit Rock Bottom-
(because we've all been there before)
-can't shower or take a bath? Me either. Dry shampoo can make your hair look and feel cleaner, and baby wipes or makeup wipes work great to get the top layer of grime off your skin.
-can't wash your sheets and make your bed? I feel you. Push your blankets out of the way and shake the crumbs off your sheet. it will at least be a bit more comfortable.
-can't even change out of your dirty pajamas? Been there. Hit yourself with some febreeze and a lint roller. if you can, brush your hair. if you can't, hair ties and bobby pins are fantastic.
-can't make anything to eat? same. if you can, there's no shame in ordering food. In fact, it's probably better you eat something rather than go hungry. If you can't, try and find something that comes pre-made or takes minimal effort to make. at the very least, drink some water.
can't respond to messages or reach out for help? Yeah, I get that. set an alarm for a few hours from now and respond to any messages you need to once you've given yourself time to prepare. if they're Important Messages that need Professional Responses, you can find fill-in-the-blank format rough drafts on google. As far as personal messages go, don't feel bad for sending a mass "I'm sorry, I'm in a personal emergency right now. I'll get back to you as soon as I can." response to everyone.
-can't even sleep because it's so bad? Asmr videos always knock me out, personally, but I also watch a lot of bob ross. Just try to find something quiet and soothing to use as background noise and take your mind off it, or at least give you a more peaceful environment to think about it.
-can't go for a walk/drive? Try opening the blinds or curtains. You're still exposing yourself to the outside world. Baby steps. (I also play animal crossing or sims; it may be virtual but fuck it. I went on a walk.)
-can't go into work/school? let people know. let your coworkers or classmates know it's an emergency and you can't make it. give yourself up to two days, but then you have to go back. ask to have your work emailed to you so you know what you missed.
-can't brush your teeth and wash your face? Makeup or baby wipes and gum or mouthwash. don't let yourself physically rot bc you're rotting emotionally.
-remember that you've been here before. if you survived then you can survive now. that's what this is about- survival. you don't have to be living your Best Life. right now, it's more than enough that you're alive