"No real matters. I'm just staying at my [maternal] aunt's place for this holiday time, and I remembered that you live around here, so I thought I'd come give it a try to see if I could find you."
With one hand propped against the doorframe, Jì Chengyang gave a little laugh that was tinged somewhat with resignation. "Then come in and sit for a while." Opening the shoe cabinet, he took out a pair of guest slippers and set them on the floor.
Liu Wanxia stepped in through the door. In just that brief period when she bent down to change her shoes, she had already caught sight of Jǐ Yi.
She first paused in surprise, feeling that this girl looked familiar. Very quickly, she clued in. Oh, it was that little girl. Without any shift in expression, she gave greeting. "Hello."
"Hello," Jǐ Yi replied in a warm voice.
Thinking for a moment, she jogged into the kitchen and poured a glass of warm water.
Right as she was about to bring it back out, she realized that this seemed to be too simple and neglectful a way to treat a guest. Hence, she simply went back out and asked the woman who had just taken a seat on the couch, "Are you more accustomed to drinking tea or coffee?" When these words were spoken, Liu Wanxia finally detected hints that there was something not quite right. This was a manner that belonged only to the host and master of the household. It was not as she had believed when she first stepped through the door, that the girl was "another guest."
"Tea, I suppose. Thank you—" She could not remember Jǐ Yi's name.
"Jǐ Yi." Jǐ Yi smiled.
"Sorry, it's been too long. I suddenly couldn't remember." Liu Wanxia's voice was soft, like gently flowing water. "The last time I saw you, you were still wearing the school uniform of Fuzhong. Have... you graduated from high school yet?"
"I have. I'm soon going to be in second-year university."
After saying this, Jǐ Yi went back once more into the kitchen. Before long, she brought out a cup of tea and set it on the glass table.
And then, she casually handed a cup of coffee to Jì Chengyang.
Liu Wanxia cast a glance at Jì Chengyang. The latter did not show any out-of-the-ordinary behaviour. He even quietly told Jǐ Yi to go to the study and read or find a movie to watch if she was not used to staying here, and after he saw the guest out, he would spend time with her again. Jǐ Yi also felt that it would be very awkward being here with a woman she did not know and having nothing to say, so very docilely, she went into the study.
The behaviour of these two people was simply too open and unruffled, and it was actually Liu Wanxia, this surprise guest, who felt somewhat self-conscious.
She had merely, while strolling around earlier, suddenly thought about that time when Jì Chengyang had driven her and dropped her off at that street intersection, and having also heard him mention the name of his community compound before, she wanted to try her luck. She believed in fate, just like how she and Jì Chengyang had been classmates in high school and now were also both working at the same television station; there was a sort of predestined affinity between the two of them. But she believed even more in hard work and effort. Sometimes, the power of fate is actually very weak, and it needs a helping hand from some people...
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Based on her sensitivity that came with being a woman, as she sat on the couch, she could perceive that everywhere in this room, there were traces showing that a girl lived in this house. From here where she sat, she could even see a first-year-university English textbook peeking out from beneath the glass coffee table. Awkwardly, she pulled her gaze back. According to her understanding of Jì Chengyang all this time, he was not at all one of those men who, because they have a little bit of success in their careers, like to seek out young girls in order to make up for their youth that they lost. Moreover, in the hospital, that girl's manner had been like she was his relative.
Were they relatives?
Speculating, she slowly spun the cup that she was holding. "Never thought she'd be so grown up already." She smiled. "When I saw her in the hospital, she was still pretty young."
With a seldom-seen smile, he answered, "Yes."
A single-word answer.
It made it feel very awkward that she had brought up this topic to talk about.
Swiftly, she switched the content of their conversation and began speaking to him about his trip to Iraq, which he would be setting out on shortly. The main military operations that the United States had launched against Iraq had carried on for only less than thirty days before it was announced that they had come to an end. What was to follow was a long, seesaw battle.
"Periods like this are the worst," Liu Wanxia said. "Small conflicts can suddenly erupt at any time... Are you thinking on this for a bit and waiting to see what the war situation is like first?"
Jì Chengyang sat in the deep-blue single sofa chair. When he spoke about such subjects, he always gave people the feeling that he was especially detached, like he was a bystander, and calm. His fingers lightly rubbed the design on the outside of his coffee cup as he answered her, "With this type of illegal warfare, it's likely that, apart from the U.S.'s own journalists, it will be very difficult for anyone to get into the actual war zone. In just twenty-odd days, they've launched more than two thousand missiles and more than five hundred Tomahawks. The Americans certainly have the drive of wanting to blow-up more than half of Iraq... But all of this is only what they themselves have announced." When it came to topics like this, Jì Chengyang would always say a little more. He suddenly gave a laugh. "The truth of just how horrifying it is on the ground level is something we can only know if walk in there ourselves. Now is the best time. The Americans think they had a total victory, so now it's perfect for us to go in and have a look at what they've left behind."
The truth.
This is what war correspondents pursue—the war's truth.
"The end of this war is still very far off." Jì Chengyang unexpectedly stated this.
Still very far off. When would the Americans withdraw from Iraq? No one knew. Neither did he know just how long he would be in Iraq or when the next time he returned to China would be.
Liu Wanxia conversed with him for another little while and then hurriedly took her leave. She suddenly felt that she was rather laughable. She had come here rashly, but a surprising situation had arisen. What was more, this situation had been utterly outside of her expectations. Even though she had imagined that she might run into that girlfriend he had spoken about, it should not have been this awkward.
Jì Chengyang saw her to the front door and glanced at the elevator. "There's still a little girl in my home. I'm worried about leaving her here alone, so I won't see you down."
Squeezing the straps of her backpack-style purse in her hands, Liu Wanxia suddenly let out a little laugh. "Yes, you do worry when you have a little girl in the house."
Although Jǐ Yi looked young, that age that lies between still being a girl and being a woman, no matter how you put it, she was no longer a little girl whom you truly would be "worried" about leaving at home alone. But Jì Chengyang had stated that so unperturbedly.
Never before had she seen such a Jì Chengyang.
As she stepped into the empty elevator and its doors slowly slid shut, she saw the front door of Jì Chengyang's home close. She all of a sudden remembered how, back then, the girls in their class had protected this man called Jì Chengyang. When girls from other classes came asking about him, they would keep their lips sealed to those outsiders. They would even work to prevent love letters from girls in other classes from reaching him.
Jì Chengyang was the teenage dream of many of the girls in Fuzhong at the time.
Could it be that he truly was just like other ordinary men and longed after the temptation brought by a youthful face?
<>Copyright of Fanatical, hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com. Translated with the express permission of the author for hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com only.
Sometimes, what a person sees is not necessarily the truth.
Jì Chengyang discerned what it was that this old classmate of his suspected, but he had no desire to explain. With verbal explanations, providing them to those people to whom you want to explain is good enough. Sadness and happiness, when you get down to it, are things that only you know for yourself.
Shutting the door, Jì Chengyang took into the kitchen all the cups in the living room that had been used and, after washing them clean, placed them into the dish sanitizer. Once he had set the cycle time, he turned and went to the study. Jǐ Yi had truly done as she had been told. With a book raised above her, she lay on her back on the bed that he had temporarily set up in the study, her body in a very comfortable and naturally curled-up posture, reading.
It was obvious that she had heard Jì Chengyang walking in, but she did not make a sound and continued turning over to the next page. In fact, she did not even know what she was reading. This entire evening, she had not processed a single word that her eyes saw. The greater reason for this was Jì Nuannuan, but a small reason was also that in the living room there sat an unexpected guest. She lay there, her thoughts whirring chaotically for a long time until gradually her mind was filled only with Nuannuan's matters.
She was even planning things out, that after she found Nuannuan and had an in-depth talk with her, she hoped that she could help her.
Addiction treatment centres... Where were Beijing's addiction treatment centres?
She did not know that the discussion earlier with Liu Wanxia had caused the feeling of worry, or it could even be said, the terrible reluctance to part from Jǐ Yi, which lay in the depths of Jì Chengyang's heart, to become all the more intense. Right now, right in this moment, her lying on that bed that he normally slept on, not hiding at all the contours of her body, was such a huge test for him.
"Your guest is gone?" She asked this question that she already knew the answer to.
"She's gone." Jì Chengyang had been powerless about that situation, too.
He sat down by Jǐ Yi's side and took from her the book that she was holding, discovering that she had again dug it out from some corner in the library room. Strewn all beside her pillow were bookmarks from inside the book. As she gave an "hmm," wanting to ask but not knowing how to, she heard a text message alert coming from Jì Chengyang's mobile phone. Jì Chengyang seemed as if he could not even be bothered to acknowledge it, but based on a girl's sixth sense, Jǐ Yi felt that this message must be somehow related to that guest of his. Reaching out her hand to fish for the mobile phone in his pocket, she pulled it out.
"Liu Wanxia."
Sure enough, the name displayed on the phone's screen was that one.
"She's even texting you."
Unable to hold back his laughter, Jì Chengyang gazed at her little face. "If you want to read it, then read it. You don't need to hesitate."
A smile immediately broke out across Jǐ Yi's face, and she pulled up the text message to read it:
That girl who was in your home just now, she's your girlfriend?
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Word by word, Jǐ Yi read through the message, scanning it twice before holding the phone up in front of his eyes. Jì Chengyang could sense that she was a little unhappy. Without saying any superfluous words, he adjusted himself to the position of that phone that she was raising up high and swiftly replied with a single "yes," then pulled the phone out from her hand and tossed it onto the faraway couch.
The mobile phone did not land quite right and slid right down from the couch, falling onto the floor with a clunk.
"It'll break." Pointing at the mobile phone, Jǐ Yi said quietly, "If you drop it like that, it really will break."
"Since you got back, there's been something troubling your mind. What are you thinking about?" Jì Chengyang did not pay any heed to the sentence that she had spoken and pierced straight to the heart of the issue, pointing out what was not right with her.
"I'm not thinking about anything." Jǐ Yi held the secret in her. Squirming her head a little, she finally simply rested her cheek on his lap and turned her face up to look at him. "It's just because I saw a lot of schoolmates and feel really sad. How is it that, just like that, we've all graduated from high school now? ..."
Only after you have truly passed through it will you feel that high school is actually the happiest era.
There are stresses and pressure, motivation, friendly competition, beautiful young love—many, many things. All of these are things that cannot be surpassed by the years that follow... She had originally intended to use this as merely a cover-up, but when she truly pondered upon this point, she actually did grow melancholy.
<>Copyright of Fanatical, hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com. Translated with the express permission of the author for hui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com only.
"Once the May Day holiday is over, I'll be going to Iraq," Jì Chengyang suddenly said.
Jǐ Yi was taken aback, and blankly, she stared at him. "Why didn't you tell me until now?"
He chuckled. "I'm telling you in advance, am I not?"
"It's not in advance..." Jǐ Yi's mood, which had already been down for a whole night, now instantly, because of his one sentence, plunged into a chasm, and there was an indescribable feeling of grievance. "You're leaving in just a few days. That's considered 'in advance'?"
This was not some sort of business trip or leisure travel around the world. He was going to the most perilous of places.
She had had no mental preparation for this. He had just out of the blue told her that he was leaving and would be going to Iraq, going once again to brave the hail of gunshots and artillery shells, to endure hardships, and to face such great dangers. All her emotions rushed upwards. Jǐ Yi felt even more hurt, like she had been treated unfairly, and this feeling was also tinged with her sadness and unwillingness for parting, as well as deep worry...
It was not even in a chasm anymore. Her mood now had plummeted straight down into hell.
Jǐ Yi's eyes blinked slowly a couple of times, and she tried to crawl off from his lap.
It was this wounded, wronged expression of hers that fiercely yanked and snapped Jì Chengyang's heartstring, which this entire night had been wound taut. With his arm, he held her down, not letting her get up. Jǐ Yi lips were pouted and her nose tingled. She did not want to say anything.
But that spot on which his arm was pressing down just had to be such a sensitive place.
They both felt it. She dared not move; he hesitated. It was only for a few seconds, and then Jì Chengyang's arm moved away. She thought he was letting her go to leave the study, so pushing herself up with her arms, she sat up from the bed. "Don't do that next time... You need to tell me at least half a month ahead," she softly uttered.
Jì Chengyang knew, too, that there were issues with the way he had handled this, but he simply had not been able to find an appropriate time. Regardless of when he told her, the result would still have been the same. He might as well, therefore, tell her at the latest time possible so that the length of time that she was sad could be a little shorter.
He moved closer to her, wanting to apologize.
But when he took her wrist into his hand, that soft feeling in his palm crumbled the resolved that he had held over this last period to not overstep certain boundaries. His words became action. Right there, he captured her lips into his own and kissed her deeply.
Jǐ Yi was still in a forlorn daze from the news that he would be going out to the war zone again.
Her eyes blinked, but soon, they shut.
Jì Chengyang could not figure out, either, what exactly it was that he wanted to do. Over and over, his hand caressed her wrist, her slender arm, and also her slight, fragile shoulder beneath her short-sleeved top. Jǐ Yi drew herself closer to him. This was not their first time kissing. Over these last two months, the two had often exchanged kisses and had brief physical contact, but all of those had been halted at the proper moment.
This time, though, was very different.
Jì Chengyang used his palm to sense her warmth. His blood was also heating rapidly because of how swiftly it was coursing through him. Taking hold of her entire waist, he pressed it into his embrace while his hand continuously stroked her back.
"Next time, I'll tell you a little earlier. Don't be mad." He lifted her up onto his lap so that she sat astride his thighs.
How far should he go?
Just how far could he go?
His thoughts were utterly beguiled by the person in front of him. She was his little, little lady, his little lady, his little girl, his girl. He had in him that type of possessiveness that belonged to men, that was not unique but was very direct. He wanted her to become his woman. Laying her onto the bed, he removed her clothing. This was his first time wholly, completely feeling every fine detail of her body, her waist, her legs. Everywhere, on his fingers, in his eyes, there was only her fine, smooth, soft skin.
Unconsciously, Jǐ Yi obliged his actions, bringing her body snug against his cotton pants and short-sleeved top.
The material he wore grazed against her body. There was a tingly sensation that caused all of her to fall into a stupor.
This way that she was accommodating him took his breath away and brought him to delirium.
Jì Chengyang finally wholly tasted that torment of being unable to release his desires. Managing to put a stop just in time to the disintegration of his rationality, he gave Jǐ Yi a deep kiss that was tender and soothing. Then, he agonizingly pushed himself up and left the study. Before long, Jǐ Yi heard the rushing sound of water inside the bathroom.
Curling herself up under the thin blanket, Jǐ Yi listened to the water sounds. Her body grew hotter and hotter, and slowly, she shrunk herself entirely under the covers, hugging her knees. She still felt aggrieved that he had not told her of his departure, but her heart had been completely filled. There was a feeling of happiness that was about to brim over.
As she listened like this to the sounds of Jì Chengyang taking a shower, she thought, What are we going to do from now on? ... I can't keep just having him take showers, right?