By the end of the interview, it was all in the hands of the FBI. Every last sordid detail had been given to them. I felt ripped open with my blood flooding everywhere. It was like the darkness Kris had injected into my life was now occupying the interview room and was suffocating us all inside.
A heavy weight settled over my shoulders, a terrible burden I would have to carry. Jordan fussed in his car seat, suddenly letting out a high pitched wail. I stood, removing his blanket and lifted him up. His face was already turning red as his angry cries became louder. He was surely hungry. I grabbed his bag, and excused myself outside of the interview room. Jenny and Zach stood, as Jordan greeted them with mournful wails. He was such a dramatic little thing. He certainly took after his father in that respect. I shuffled past them into a nearby bathroom. Mistake really, as the acoustics in there were great, and Jordan's wails were berating me from all angles now. I bobbed him up and down, speaking to him in a soft tone as I shrugged off the sleeve of my sweater and pulled it up over my shoulder.
I undid my nursing bra, and set the little one up for lunch. At this point, I had no sensitivity and barely felt when he latched on. Someone one on the other side of the bathroom door knocked before coming in. I grabbed Jordan's blanket and draped it over his face as Jenny entered the room. She smiled and asked how the interview had gone. My energy was drained, everything felt so heavy and weak. That's how it had gone. All I wanted was to dissolve into tears and curse this life I had brought upon myself.
But I couldn't do that because it wasn't just about me anymore.
Jenny kept the conversation light, steering away from the giant elephant in the room, but it was no use. I wasn't listening to a word she was saying. My life would be uprooted again. The FBI had explained that I would be in witness protection until the end of the trial. Once he was convicted and sentenced to life, then I could return to my normal life. But until then, they had to make sure their star witness was safe.
I couldn't imagine Kris breaking out again, but the first time had been so easy, it was likely he'd do it again. Much worse is if he was working with someone and had them do his bidding for him.
Hearing those words made me break down in sobs during the interview. I was betraying him and the guilt was too much. They assured me that I was doing the right thing for the kids and for myself. My homework now was to begin packing and keep it hidden from Kris. They would move me at a moment's notice before moving in on Kris, and they wanted to make sure that I was out of the way.
I shuffled uncomfortably as a pain shot through my lower abdomen and lower back. I must've been sitting for too long. Jordan continued feeding, but no, I needed to sit down again. I looked around, finding no available space. Suddenly, Jenny gasped loudly.
Her eyes were fixated on my legs. I peeked over Jordan's body paling at the sight. Jenny swung the door open, screaming for help. My back hit the wall then I slid down to the floor. Bright red blood was coating my tan colored leggings. Pain erupted in my abdomen once more. The agents and Zach burst through the bathroom door, and pulled me to my feet. Jenny scooped Jordan from my arms, pulling down my sweater to cover me up.
Zach picked me up, keeping my legs together and rushed me to the elevator. There was shouting and phone calls, but it all seemed like a buzzing in my head. I closed my eyes feeling my body bob up and down as Zach ran through the lobby. He kept telling me that everything was going to be okay, they were getting help. But what was wrong? A bright red flashing light met us as we made it outside and more arms grabbed onto my body. Another sharp pain tore through my abdomen. That's what was wrong. I was laid down on a gurney, strapped in, then wheeled into the back of an ambulance. Every moment felt rushed, as though it weren't real.
Was I in the ambulance or watching this happen? Someone squeezed my hand, it was Jenny. Jordan was in her ams, pressed against her chest, but he was wailing, surely frightened by the loud siren. Beside her was Zach. His eyes were widened in worry and fear. Pain ripped through my abdomen once again. My hands curled into fists trying to hold off the pain. A tickling sensation passed through my legs, more blood.
The EMT finished taking my vitals as the ambulance made a sharp turn. I groaned with an ache in my back. I'd missed the EMT's question. Was I allergic to anything? No. Was I on any medications? No. Did I have any illnesses? No.
Jordan's wailing stopped. The motion of the ambulance had eased him, and he was politely seated on Jenny's lap. I met his eyes. How his innocence shined always confirmed that leaving Kris behind was the right choice. The ambulance came to a stop and everyone jumped out to let the EMT wheel me into the hospital. A cold blast licked at my skin as we crossed through the automatic doors. Brightness hurt my corneas, but the pain in my body was much worse. I shut my eyes again, giving into the weakness spreading over my muscles.
I had to go to sleep. And I did.
Through my next moments of consciouness, I realized I was still in the hospital, but this time in a bed, and my clothes had been swapped for a gown. I reached down, my belly was still there. Was everything alright? I pushed myself up and was met with a rush to the head. My hand instinctively pressed against my temple. A soft voice encouraged me to lie down again. The deep sonance let me know it was a man.
I reopened my eyes, finding a kind-looking man in a white lab coat standing beside me. He smiled and welcomed me back to the world of the living. Funny thing was I hadn't felt alive for a while now.
"You had quite the scare there." he said, holding up a clipboard.
"Is my baby okay?" I asked.
Fear clogged my throat, and formed a tight knot.
"She's perfectly fine."
"She?"
"Yes, you're having a girl. You experienced some bleeding, which is normal. Normally, not that much bleeding, but we did a sonagram and her heartbeat sounds strong. We'll run additional tests, but all looks good. Have you been eating?"
I thought to my last few days. Everything other than ice cream and yogurt made me sick so yes and no.
"I'll take that as a no." he said, giving me a stern look.
"This is not your first, I know you know how to take care of yourself. You and the baby need nutrition."
"Can that cause bleeding?" I asked.
"It can cause a miscarriage, which you are lucky to have not had, if you are malnourished. You passed a blood clot, which can happen in some women."
"But she's fine?"
The doctor nodded.
"Very strong heartbeat. She's a fighter."
I smiled weakly, the weight of passing out and bleeding out still resting on my body. She was a little fighter. But Kris could not know that. He had to believe that she was lost today. What he didn't know would in fact hurt him and that was okay.
The doctor finished going over my chart and emphasized once again that I had to start eating better, or else my next visit to the doctor would not be so lucky. I thanked him as he left and let the agents inside. Their faces held remorse and fear. They stopped at the foot of my bed, apologizing for any stress they may have caused, that may have led to this situation here. Certainly not their fault, they weren't keeping me from eating.
The agents glanced at each other, as if trying to be cautious, but also trying to get to the point.
"Are you well enough to speak to the sketch artist?" Agent Valentine asked.
I pushed myself up, nodding. If this woman was in danger, I couldn't let my weakness get in the way of saving her life. The agents thanked me for my cooperation and invited in the sketch artist. They exited the room, as the sketch artist smiled and introduced herself.
She pulled up a chair and opened her sketch book, drawing out the features I recalled from the restaurant. I never did understand how sketch artists were so good at drawing faces out of someone's memories.
In school, we briefly studied the process of memories, how they were created and remembered. The more they are remembered the more corrupted they become, due to biases toward people and other events that become muddled in the timeline.
The artist's pencil never stopped moving the entire time that I spoke. Within 10 minutes of me droning on, I couldn't remember any more.
I waited for the sketch artist to make her finishing touches then she held up the drawing. It was exactly as I had seen on that very night that she sat across from Kris.
I nodded, settling back down on my pillow.
She thanked me, wishing me to get better, then left the room. Within a couple of hours, I was dismissed from the hospital with the doctor reiterating his orders to start eating better.
Jenny and Zach walked me to my car that Agent Valentine had driven over for me from the field office. My body was still weak, but I blamed it on the blood loss. It was probably not a good idea to drive, however, no one other than me could arrive home with Jordan.
It had been a risk to let the neighbors see Jenny being dropped off by two FBI agents. One of them could slip up and ask Kris about it.
Jenny made sure Jordan was buckled up in his seat, and made me promise I'd call her the moment I got home. I nodded, giving her a laugh for added assurance. She kissed me on the cheek, squeezing my hand before heading over to the SUV the FBI agents were in.
Zach stayed behind as we both watched the SUV leave the parking complex.
"I always find you in the worst situations in the bathroom." he joked.
"Really? I think I do my finest work there." I replied.
He rested against the door laughing.
"Are you sure you're feeling okay? You'll make it home alright?"
"Do you want me to call you, too?" I asked.
He looked down and shook his head.
"I don't think Kris would like that."
"I'm doing a lot of things that Kris wouldn't like. I've hit the point of no return." I reminded.
"It's dangerous, I'll have Jenny tell me." He said.
"Now that's dangerous. If he knew I was talking to her, he'd know that something was amiss. If he knew I was talking to you, he'd think I was handling something with the house."
Zach shrugged, never breaking eye contact with me. He seemed pensive, as if there was something on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn't bring himself to say it.
I placed my hand over his arm to thank him for getting me to the ambulance. Just the thought of almost having lost my baby sent a violent shiver down my spine and made my stomach curl in anguish.
"Think nothing of it."
"I think everything of it." I said. "You've been such a good friend to me and I am undeserving of your friendship."
His eyes darted about my face, and he inched closer, but stopped himself and backed away. I caught the edge of his jacket, bringing him back. My heart rate had skyrocketed with the gesture. I knew what this was, I knew what I wanted from him. Zach, clasped his hand over my mine, and brought it up to his lips for a kiss.
That's all I would get.
"You're in need of a good friend and I will be that good friend for you. Please get home okay. Start packing and get yourself to safety. We are almost done. After his trial, you will be free." he said.
It didn't even sound like a possibility. Kris has been tried and sentenced already, and he had escaped. Knowing that I betrayed him would guarantee he'd find a way to get out again.
It made me sick to my stomach that I would never be freed of him. He would always have a hold on me. His face would live on in his children and they would be constant reminders of the monster under the bed or rather in my bed.
"We've been through a lot in a short period of time. I value your help immensely, and there is not enough gratitude in the world to thank you for all that you have done. I love you, Zach. I hope you know that."
His face was still as he absorbed my words. I could not discern a reaction, but soon enough, he cracked a smile.
"I love you, too."
He patted the car door before walking off to his. I watched his lanky figure pass through rows of cars. He was too tall to be easily concealed. The ride home was quiet, with only the radio providing some kind of atmosphere.
It pleased me that Jordan was not old enough to talk yet, as he would likely be going off the way young children do.
Today's fright was beginning to fray around the edges, turning hazy and dull. When we arrived home, the temperature had dropped once again. More snow, as if we really needed any more. Thankfully Jordan was bundled up, and wasn't bothered by the short walk up the driveway to the front door.
I turned the heater full blast, glancing at the clock, 3 p.m. Kris wouldn't be home for another few hours, giving me the perfect opportunity to begin packing.
He would notice if the large suitcases were missing, so I settled for the carry-ons. Jordan's clothes were easy to pack, as he didn't have many.
My clothes went into the second carry-on, then both were stuffed into the attic. The basement was his domain, so any change would be noticed. He wouldn't admit it, but the attic somewhat terrified him. Despite that he was the cause of most nightmares, the thought of something living in the attic was enough to keep him out.
I didn't believe in such things. Ghosts didn't exist.
The clock now read 6 p.m., Kris would be arriving soon. I started on a quick dinner and left it simmering on the stove, while I played with Jordan in the living room. For a baby, he hadn't had much time to be one. It was always carting him around, shielding him from the cold, while I dealt with matters no child should ever have to endure.
I thought about the woman that Kris was spending time with. Why hadn't be killed her? She hadn't been in any of the photos that the agents showed me, which gave the inkling that she could still be alive. She could very well be in the same situation as me, and that terrified me. It wasn't out of jealousy, but genuine fear.
He would turn the life of another woman upside down. She had no idea what she was getting herself into.
Keys jingled outside of the front door, before a cold chill swept over the hardwood floors. The wind had picked up and had grown colder.
Kris shuffled in, hanging his keys on the hook before shutting the door. I hardly glanced up as he made it into the living room and greeted me. Jordan cooed excitedly, prompting Kris to lean over and pick him up.
Jordan loved his father, and it was a damn shame that he wouldn't get to see him anymore.
"Dinner is ready." I said, pressing a hand to my stomach as I leaned on my arm.
"Um, I'll just grab a bite to eat, I have to get back to work." he replied.
"Why?"
"The Layla Delgado case, we're this close to closing it and I have to get back to the station. I just came home to shower."
"Oh... well, I'll pack dinner up for you, you don't have to buy something."
I rolled onto all fours, into a downward dog then finally pushed myself up. There were certainly other ways to get up when you had a watermelon in your belly. I had messed that one up.
Kris nodded, and carried Jordan into the kitchen to sit him in his chair. A wife who had much to hide and much to discover, had quite the sense of hearing. Despite that he was upstairs, I heard the shower turn on and the bathroom door close.
Jordan was playing with his toys on his chair, so he'd be fine for a couple of minutes. I put a hand to my belly and hurried up the stairs, making sure to grip the banister. Kris never doubted my intelligence, but he did think I was stupid when it came to his behavior.
His phone was sitting on the night stand. A man with a nosier wife would have taken it into the bathroom with him. I lifted it up, the Face ID failing to recognize his face. It tried twice more before it asked for the passcode.
I stared at the numbers, deciphering possible combinations. I was overthinking it. If there was one thing about Kris, it was that he was a man of habit. The passcode was of course Jordan's birthday.
The screen lit up, revealing his wallpaper. A picture of us at the Christmas tree lighting in Downtown Tulsa. The perfect image of the perfect family man.
I scrolled through his apps finding his maps, then clicked on his favorites. He had two, home and work. I lifted my thumb, pressing on the see all option. As it expanded, it revealed several other addresses, but one stood out.
An address in Broken Arrow. It sounded incredibly familiar to me. I combed through my memories until it unfolded. Kris had a case there. It was one of his firsts, so it had been months ago. Had he gone back?
I remembered he mentioned the house going unsold and sitting vacant since there had been a murder inside. Perhaps that was the address of the house. He was going back to an abandoned house? Or maybe that's where the woman lived. Maybe it had sold or she lived nearby.
I grabbed my cell phone from my pocket and noted down the address to send to the agents later. In the same motion, I returned his phone to its place, and hurried back down to pack up his dinner.
Jordan had hardly noticed my absence. Thank god for Paw Patrol toys.
Kris made it back down to the kitchen about 20 minutes later. His cologne greeted me before his body entered the room. Yes, he was going to meet her.
I put his tupperware in a bag and turned around, placing it on the table. He paused, walked up to me and slid an arm around my waist, drawing me into his chest.
"I'm sorry I have to leave." he said, trailing a couple of fingers through my hair.
"You're working." I replied, smiling.
He was searching my eyes, I could tell. I thought back to the times when I truly was enamored with him. It filled me with emotions that had disappeared over the last few weeks. Hopefully he could see those emotions now.
He kissed my lips and promised he'd be back before midnight. I grabbed his jacket and pulled him back to me. Nothing, I had felt nothing as he kissed me. Kris looked at me expectantly. Why had I felt nothing? I grabbed his face, and brought his lips back to mine. I had to try again. He curled his arms around me, holding me by the back of the neck. My stomach was pressed against him, but the closeness no longer felt safe. The kiss, though deeper, did not bring me any emotion.
Kris drew away and squatted down to kiss my belly. Not even a tingle. He promised again to be back by midnight.
I nodded, watching him leave through the front door. His car turned on in the distance, then his headlights danced across the windows as he drove away. I reached for my phone in my back pocket just as it vibrated against my backside. It was Agent Valentine. Beat me to it.
"Hello?" I answered.
"Do you think this is a fucking joke?" he replied.
I physically shrunk back despite that he wasn't in the room with me. That tone, I had never heard it. So full of anger, maybe a tinge of hatred.
"What are you talking about?" I asked. "I was just going to call you. I have an address."
"I'm talking about the sketch, what the fuck is this?" he repeated.
I flinched at his tone. What the hell was his problem?
"That's the woman I saw, what other description did you want me to give?"
"Are you positive that this is the woman that you saw?"
He sounded so desperate. I didn't know what else he wanted me to say.
"Yes, that is the woman that I saw him with. That's who he's spending time with. Why? Who is she?"
There was a short pause, but it was enough to create tension through the phone.
"That's my wife."
Nothing ever truly surprised me about Kris, but hearing Agent Valentine utter that sentence made my knees turn to jelly. His wife?
"Maria?" he asked.
"I'm still here. I-I didn't know that was your wife. He's meeting her tonight, I know it. I have an address for you. Follow him."
There was shuffling on the other end before Agent Porter got onto the line.
"Agent Valentine is not feeling well. What is the address, I will take care of it." he said.
I pulled up my notes and read it to him.
"Okay, and he's just left the house?" he asked.
"Yes, about 5 minutes ago."
"Okay, and you've packed your bags?"
"Some, I can't pack too much otherwise Kris will notice." I said.
"That's fine, as long as you have something. Pretend like everything is normal. We will take care of everything." Agent Porter assured.
I hung up the call and deleted the call log from my history. Jordan squealed as he dropped his toy off of his chair. I picked him up, earning a big toothless smile from him.
"Oh, you're the cutest baby in the world." I cooed, bringing his face down to kiss his cheek.
They would take care of everything.
Hi y'all! This chapter was longer than usual!
How was it?
6 more chapters until the end