Mercedes pulled the straightening comb through Marcy's hair. "I have something to tell you guys."
Quinn and Karou looked up from where they were flipping through magazines at the kitchen table. "What?"
"Mikey said he wanted to meet Aaron. Tomorrow."
"Holy-!"
"Marcy!"
"Crap! I was going to say crap!" Marcy actually wasn't sure what she was going to say.
"Why is this a problem?" Karou flipped a page in her book.
"Because she's not looking to get rid of both of them." Marcy was referring to a trick they used to get rid of some of their suitors, which was to introduce them to each other.
"Oh right. You're screwed, Mercy."
"Thanks, Rou!" Mercedes bit off.
"I'm serious. Can you get out of this?"
"I doubt it. You know how Mikey gets when he's into something. Dogged." Her lashes fluttered in an irritated manner.
"Maybe you can distract him with something?" Quinn suggested.
"Right!" Marcy agreed. "Throw the cookie at him!"
"Marcy! I'm not going to use sex as a weapon!" Mercedes nearly dropped the heating comb.
"You better brandish it like it's a mace and you're Sir Lance-a-Lot!"
Karou and Quinn laughed.
Mercedes shook her head with a rueful smile. "I'm trying to get through your hair quickly but it keeps curling again."
"Just try to get the roots as straight as possible. I can use the flatirons on the rest." Marcy held still. "Thanks for this. I know it isn't fun."
"I don't mind. You're the one suffering."
"I truly am. My head is bangin!"
Mercedes giggled. "I'm sorry." She continued on with her task and two hours later, she was done. "Okay, I'm finished."
Marcy got up and stretched. "My back, yo!"
Karou wrapped her arms around her middle and squeezed. "Let me help you out."
"Ow! Ow! Ow!" Marcy glared at her cousin.
"I'm trying to help." Karou squeezed tighter.
They all heard a cracking sound. "Get off me!"
"Did your spine just snap?!"
"Get off me before I snap your neck."
"Mean." Karou let her go.
Marcy winced as she bent over a little. "I gotta soak in the tub."
"You're getting old." Quinn teased.
"You'll beat me there!" Marcy shook a fist as she hobbled upstairs.
Mercedes finished cleaning up and the trio followed Marcy up the steps. "Who's watching the twins tonight?"
"Mrs. C." Marcy tied her hair into a loose knot then put a plastic cap over it to protect it from the water in her bath. "Or Ms. Judy. I left it up to them."
"Mom would love to keep them." Quinn said. "She should tell Mrs. C that she wants to keep them."
Marcy shrugged and left to run her bubble bath in the tub in the big bathroom in the hall. She used watermelon bubble bath and melon fizz balls.
"I'm just going to take a shower while she's in the tub." Karou gathered her things together.
"We'll be here." Mercedes sat on the ground with her back against the wall.
Quinn sat next to her. "Have a good shower."
"I wonder how long she's going to be in there?" Karou cocked her head.
"A while." Marcy said as she walked in. "Just until my body stops hurting."
"Should you go out if you're hurt?" Mercedes asked.
"Nothing a good soak won't cure."
"Be careful tonight. I know how you two get."
"I'm so offended right now." Marcy frowned.
"Me too! We wouldn't do anything to get arrested!" Karou set her hands on her hips.
"No one said arrested!" Mercedes waved a hand. "You're just proving my point!"
"Ugh! I'm taking a shower!" Karou went into Marcy's bathroom and shut the door.
Marcy gathered a robe and left with her phone. Once in the bathroom, she turned off the water and turned on her phone. She turned to a song she liked and put it on repeat before stripping out of her clothes and climbing in the tub.
She washed her body thoroughly then sat back and closed her eyes. She laid there and tried to relax.
She began loosening up slowly and her muscles stopped aching. She was glad because there was nothing worse than being out with your friends and being unable to enjoy yourself.
She sang softly to herself and rested until she grew bored then she let the water out of the tub. When it was out, she ran the shower to get all the soap and whatever else off her then cleaned out the tub. She wrapped herself in her bathrobe and walked to her room.
"You weren't gone as long as I thought you'd be." Mercedes said.
"I got bored." Marcy shrugged. "Lotion my back?"
"Sure."
Marcy went for her specialty made lotion and started lotioning up her arms and legs before pulling on her underwear of dark green and black lacy bra and boy-short set. Then she sat cross-legged in front of Mercedes so she'd do her back.
Karou came from the bathroom in her own black and white underwear and went to put on her clothes.
"You should put on lotion." Marcy said.
"Why?"
"Health benefits, vanity, Finn wouldn't want to touch a girl with alligator skin."
Karou ran to get lotion and slathered it on her body.
Quinn and Mercedes chuckled at her being manipulated.
Marcy went to her clothes and pulled on black and dark grey striped shorts. They were short enough to barely cover the boy shorts. And had the nerve to have belt loops. Marcy put on black suspenders and slipped into a black tank top.
She tucked the shirt into the shorts and buttoned and zipped them before buckling the belt and pulling up the suspender straps.
Karou, done lotioning down, slipped on her own black tank top and a dark grey flared skirt that would most definitely show her bottom if she wasn't careful. She attached black suspenders to it and pulled the straps up.
Both sprayed on perfume before pulling on a white button up shirt and doing the buttons.
The doorbell rang so Quinn went to go get it.
Marcy and Karou pulled on black ties and tied them before plugging in hair irons. Marcy had a flatiron while Karou had a curling iron.
Mercedes looked up as Tina came into the room with Quinn. "Hey!"
"I've never seen your house before. It's so nice." Tina complimented. "But where's your furniture?"
"At the house in Italy." She said.
"Oh. I thought you'd get all new things." Tina set her things down and sat beside Mercedes.
"We had to buy a bunch of new stuff but our parents are selling this house so we had to take everything."
"They're selling this house?! Why?! It's so beautiful!"
"They're downsizing."
"What about when you want to visit?"
"I don't know. I haven't actually thought about visiting. But I'm sure we can figure something out."
Smith walked out of the closet and yawned before coming to sniff Tina.
"Aww! Who's this?" Tina patted his head.
"Smith. Puck got him for me for my birthday." Marcy finished running the flat iron through her hair.
"That's so nice of him." Tina blinked.
"Doesn't sound like him, huh?"
Tina giggled as Quinn glared at her. "Hey!"
Marcy smirked and put in her earrings, the only jewelry she and Karou would be wearing tonight (besides her ring and rosary). Both were wearing diamond studs in each of their holes. Karou had two while Marcy had three.
Karou finished with her hair and put in her earrings before using the hair spray to spray dye their hair a bunch of colors.
Both of them brought out their makeup. They put on foundation (not needing concealer) before putting on eye shadow (Marcy brown, Karou green). They put on black eyeliner and mascara. Karou shaped her eyebrows while Marcy just used water to lay hers down.
Marcy outlined her mouth in a dark wine colored lipliner before doing her mouth in a shade darker lipstick. Karou outlined her mouth in a fire engine red colored lipliner before doing her mouth in a shade lighter lipstick.
They put away their makeup and put on their shoes. Marcy put on black socks before putting on her black booties with the silver buckles and zippers. Karou had tall booties with a peep toe and silver spiked heel. Her toes were painted red (both had painted their toes and hands to match their lipstick).
They gathered money, lipstick and their phones and put them in their coats for the night, black suit jackets. They put them on.
Marcy buttoned her jacket. "How do we look?"
"Half naked." Tina said honestly.
"Really?" Marcy frowned and looked down.
"Why aren't you wearing bottoms?"
"I'm wearing shorts."
"They look like underwear."
"You should see the blue jean ones I have but no, they're not underwear."
"Won't you be cold?" Mercedes cocked her head.
"I don't get cold." Marcy was thrown by that question.
"I forgot you were warm blooded."
"I think you look nice." Quinn pursed her lips. "Not too slutty but still sexy."
"We didn't say you didn't look good." Mercedes said quickly.
"No." Tina agreed with a head shake.
"We just think your bottom half could use a bit more cloth."
"Too late for that now." Marcy sent a text on her phone. "The limo will be here any minute."
"I can't wait." Karou played with her giant loose curls. "Tonight is going to be fun."
Marcy took her hand and led her out then downstairs, Mercedes, Quinn and Tina trailing behind.
"Wow." Rose walked in. "You look so good. Where are your pants?"
"We aren't wearing any." Marcy said.
Karou hit her arm. "We're wearing bottoms, Aunt Rose."
"I can't tell!" Marc snapped as he, their brothers and cousins walked in wearing variations of the same suit. "Go back upstairs and put on more clothes!"
"Screw you; that's not gonna happen." Marcy rolled her eyes.
"What happened to your hair?" Rose demanded.
"I cut it Saturday." Marcy didn't pretend to misunderstand her.
"You cut-?! You cut your hair?!"
"Yes, I did."
"Who told you, you could cut your hair?!"
"The person it belongs to. They said I could."
"Listen here, young lady-!" Rose started.
"It's my hair. If I want to shave it all off, you have no say. I'm also an adult and can do whatever I want. Like leave. Which I am. As soon as this driver gets here."
The doorbell rang.
"Hallelujah!" She dragged Karou to the door and threw it open.
"AJ's Limo Service." The man tapped his hat.
"Let's go!" Marcy barked at the males of her family and picked up two briefcases by the door.
The driver took them from her and went to put them in the trunk.
"At least be careful!" Rose folded her arms across her chest.
Marcy grunted as she got in the limo.
Marc kissed his mother's cheek. "I'll look after her."
"Thank you." Rose shut the door after the strapping boys.
"Momma, this is Tina. I'm sure you've met." Mercedes introduced them.
"Hello, Tina." Rose nodded. "Mercy, Quinnie? I'm going to lie down. Please keep it down."
"Okay." They chirped as she went upstairs.
"Let's go watch a movie and we can order food." Mercedes pushed Tina to the den.
"Marcy was really mean to your mom." Tina noted.
"Marcy's really mean." Quinn said.
"Quinn." Mercedes elbowed her.
"Well she can be." The blonde amended.
Tina sat on a couch. "Why is she mean to your mom though?"
Mercedes and Quinn looked at each other before shrugging. "What do you want on your pizza?"
M&MC
Santana got in the limo in a tight red bandage style dress and red heels. She sat next to Mike. "Hi."
"You girls believe in wearing short stuff, don't you?" He gestured to her dress.
She crossed her legs and smirked. "Got to show off the assets."
"Just don't bend over or you'll show more than assets."
She laughed. "If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were trying to protect me."
"You know very well I'm going to protect you. You're my friend and a girl."
She smiled. "I saw Aretha's bracelet."
He grinned. "What'd she say about it?"
"She said the best boyfriend in the world gave it to her."
"Alright." He nodded smugly.
"Who are we picking up next?"
"I don't know." He leaned across her and slapped Marcy's leg. "Hey! Who are we picking up next?"
"Artie." Marcy massaged her leg.
"Artie." Mike sat back and looked at Santana.
Santana pursed her lips, nodding twice. "Who else is coming?"
"Puck, Finn and Sam. Puck went over there to spend time with Finn beforehand so that'll just be one pickup. I'm not sure but I think Blaine's there, too."
"You really think Young Gaybird can handle a party with you guys? You all seem like you can hang."
Mike grinned. "Nah, we're pretty tame."
Mal snorted. "Why'd you lie to her?"
"We are tame!" Mike argued.
"Tame as a wild safari lion!"
Then they started bickering...
Santana started when fingers drummed on her leg. She turned to look at Marcy. "Yeah?"
"Don't pay attention to them. Come over here." Marcy scooted over closer to Karou.
"Why? Want to romance me?" Santana switched seats.
"More like she doesn't want you to get squashed when they start fighting." Karou smirked.
"That's not as much fun." Santana pouted as the guys started fighting.
Marc threw ice at them. "Knock it off! You're brothers!"
Mike and Mal sat back and secretly plotted to jump him as soon as they got the chance.
"You see that look?" Marcy pointed to her brothers. "They're plotting."
Santana laughed. "How do you know?"
"How do you think?" Karou giggled. "She invented that I'm-gon-get-you look."
Marcy smirked. "I'm so offended right now. I'm not old enough to invent anything."
"You invented a cure that saved many lives." Mal butted in.
"Besides that. And aren't you busy plotting?"
"It doesn't take that long." Mike lifted a shoulder with a grin.
Marcy rolled her eyes. "We're here."
"At Artie's? Cool."
Marcy texted Artie that they were outside. "He'll be out in a minute."
"I can't wait for him to meet Marc again. I have a feeling they'd geek out over computers."
"You know? I can see that."
"I thought you said Artie was fun? Who knew he was as boring as Marc?" Mal teased.
"Shut up!" Marc yelled.
The car bubbled up with laughter.
The back door opened and Artie was there, lifting himself out of his chair and next to Santana.
Who moved so he'd have room. She returned to her seat next to Mike.
The driver took Artie's chair and put it in the trunk while the bespeckled eighteen year old made himself comfortable. "What's up?!"
Marcy bumped his shoulder. "Hey. You clean up nice."
He looked down at his dress pants, white button down shirt and blue dinner jacket that belonged to his father. "You know I got to look so fresh and so clean for my lady!"
"Oh so the mistress is getting some effort?"
"Stop sassin me, woman!"
"Like that'll happen." Mal scoffed.
"Do you want to fight, Chang?!" Marcy tried not to giggle.
"I'm not scared of you!"
"Yes, you are." Mike assured her.
"Shut up! I am not!"
"Let her have a mood-swing!"
"Hey!" Marcy leaned forward to punch Mike. "I don't have mood-swings!"
Conversation stopped in the limo as they all looked at her.
"Kiss my ass, I don't have mood-swings!"
"Cuz. Cuz." Joey started slowly.
"What?! Shut up! Don't do that! I do that! Don't do that!"
"You're loony as hell!" Monty snapped.
"Fanculo ogni parte di te, stronzo!"
"See now that was unnecessary."
"Marcy!" Timmy Chang's lips threatened a smile. "You can't get mad because he's telling you what you don't want to hear."
"Yes, I can!" She argued.
"Stop that!" Marc scolded. "People are going to think you're a shrew."
"She is a shrew. A cantankerous shrew." Mal said.
Marcy threw herself at him but Karou wrapped her arms around her middle and pulled her back. "No! We can't afford to spend time getting blood out of the interior."
"See if I was scared of you, that'd be why." Mal pushed Mike in front of him.
Marcy snapped her teeth at him.
"Boo Thang!" Artie was slowly getting used to her temper. "You would really bite him?!"
"She's done it before." Mike said. "It's just that he used to like it."
And that started them fighting again.
Marc threw more ice. "Knock it off! And you! Calm down!" He threw ice at Marcy.
Who definitely didn't appreciate it. She gave him the evil eye before looking at Mike and Mal. All three nodded once.
"Marc's gonna get it." Karou whispered to Santana and Artie.
"It's like he doesn't even know." Artie whispered, too.
"Oh he knows. He's used to them and their rage."
"I've never seen Mike throw a punch."
"You will tonight."
"No way."
"Yes. He's crazy."
"I can hear you." Mike narrowed his eyes.
"Doesn't stop it from being true."
"Whatever. Stop hugging me." Marcy threw Karou's arms off her.
"I can hug you!"
"No, you can't. Leave me alone."
"You're going to stop pushing me away!"
"Isn't that my line?" Mal raised a brow.
"No, your line is "Pay attention to me."." Mike ribbed his little brother good-naturedly.
"Fa kuofu."
"That was ugly."
Marcy chuckled.
"You can see they're meant for each other because they curse like sailors." Karou snickered.
"We are not meant for each other." Marcy rolled her eyes.
"I don't cuss like her." Mal was offended. "She has the potty mouth. She says the most foul things."
"Oh, so you're just gon throw me under the bus?! あなたが膨れ上がったクジラのタルトでサボテンでお尻であなたをファック!"
"I'm the father of your children!" Mal gasped.
"You still get on my nerves." She sniffed.
"You do have a mouth on you, Boo Thang." Artie concurred.
Marcy turned an evil eye on him.
"And it's lookin real good tonight?"
She ran a hand over his face.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait a minute! Father of your children?!" Santana put her hands up. "Are you pregnant?!"
"What the f-?! No!" Marcy glared at her. "Don't even put that in the universe!"
"Then what children?!"
"Where have you been?" Mike snickered. "I thought Mercy told you everything?"
"Apparently not!" Santana folded her arms. "Get to talkin, Patti! What children?!"
"I'm not tellin you nothin." Marcy crossed her legs. "I don't negotiate with terrorists."
"What?" Santana was shocked out of her anger. "I'm not a terrorist."
"You're being an emotional terrorist and I won't stand for it."
Santana gave her an ugly look. "I thought we were friends? Friends tell each other when they get pregnant."
"If it's that important to you, I'll tell you later."
"How benevolent of you."
"I am magnanimous."
"Why can't you tell me now?"
"Because there's nothing to tell and I don't want to waste tonight thinkin up BS to tell you when I could be drinking and having fun."
Santana sat back with a pout. "Humph!"
Artie chuckled. "Suck your lip back in, you baby."
She glared at him. "Does everybody know about these children?"
"Who's everybody?" Marcy sighed.
"Everyone in glee club." Santana rolled her eyes.
"Yes, the little snot nosed brats know."
"The graduates, too?"
"I don't know who all's been in your club and I don't care. It's none of anyone's business whether I have kids or not."
Santana shrugged. "Guess that makes sense."
Marcy rolled her eyes hard as the car stopped. "Glad you think so."
"You are a hateful thing."
"You're not the first to say that."
"I see it really cuts you up."
"I'm crying."
Santana grinned. "Let me have the last word!"
"That's what you're doing?"
"You're still not doing it!"
"I never agreed to it so..."
"Just text for those losers to come outside."
"I did."
"You just have an answer for everything..."
"What's the point of a question without an answer?"
Santana stopped. "Haven't you ever heard of a hypothetical question?"
"They're stupid."
The door to the back of the limo opened. Puck, Finn, Sam and Blaine got in. "What's up?"
"Okay, shut up!" Marcy clicked her tongue. Her cousins stopped talking. "This is Artie, Blaine and Sam. Guys, these are our cousins. Joey, Jamie, Monty, Freddie, Timmy, Greg and Ani."
"On-ee?" Sam pronounced exaggeratedly.
"It's just Ani." She shrugged.
"Ani. Got it." He nodded. "Hi."
Kerani Seon waved.
"All these guys are single except Timmy. He's married." Marcy said the word as if it were a disease.
"Cuz." Timmy chided. "You like my wife. We've been married for years. We have TJ. What are you complaining about?"
"You're married. That's all I said."
"No, you said "You're married". Like I'm crazy for loving my wife."
"You're crazy for getting married at eighteen. Nobody's knocking you for loving your wife."
He stared at her. "I don't believe you."
"Why are you so suspicious?! It's not like I'm calling you a liar about loving your wife! I just said you're married! Damn! You're worse than Mikey!"
"Hey!" Mike snapped.
Timmy's lips trembled before he let out a loud laugh. "He does not trust you!"
"And when have I ever given the bum a reason not to?" Marcy bit off snidely.
"Are you kidding me?!" Mike side-eyed her.
"Strike that from the record?" She grinned.
He still glared at her. "Whenever I go along with one of your plans, I end up in trouble!"
"Now I know that's my line." Mal said.
"What?!" Marcy's mouth fell open.
"How about the time we got arrested in St. Pedros?"
"That wasn't my fault! I don't know the law for every freakin place!"
"How about the time we got arrested in Cabo?"
"Was not my fault! He was asking for it!"
"How about the time we got arrested in Rio?"
"That wasn't my fault! You know I don't do heat!"
"What about the fact that we've been banned from Siberia?!"
"Wait a minute! The middle of nowhere don't want you around?" Artie waved his hands.
"That wasn't my fault!" Marcy swore.
"How was that not your fault?!" Joey didn't get it. "Nobody made you... well you know!"
"Nobody made you help." She sniped.
He grinned. "So it was funny? So it was fun? So they made a new law just for you?"
"What did you do?!" Puck wanted to know.
Karou smiled. "It's totally gross."
"I don't care."
Marcy sighed. "We filled balloons with pee and set them outside to freeze before throwing them."
He laughed. "At what?!"
"People and moving objects."
"That's... that's nasty." Blaine blinked. "You really did that?"
"I was nine. What do you want from me?"
"To not throw frozen pee balloons at people?"
"Too late for that."
"Let's not forget the fire you set at Eliza Cunningham's coming out party." Joey said.
"That was so not my fault. He came out of nowhere and fine linens shouldn't go up like cheap straw."
"You set fire to somebody's party? Who keeps letting you around fire?!" Puck didn't get that.
"What'd you do in Cabo?" Artie wanted to know.
"It was a thing with fireworks." Marcy didn't want to get into it.
"That was Rio. Cabo was another fire." Mal corrected.
Puck waved his arms.
"What happened in St. Pedros?" Blaine wanted to know.
"We're not allowed to talk about it." Marcy murmured.
"Wait. What?"
"The family lawyer thinks it best that we never talk about it. Ever."
"Wow."
"We've been kicked out of and banned from plenty of places." Mal said. "Like that museum in Spain."
"A bet is a bet!" Marcy shouted. "What was I supposed to do?!"
"I have done some stupid stuff on a wager, Cuz but that was just dangerous." Greg Blue Feather shook his head.
She sat back with folded arms.
"At least you got a dollar out of it." Karou tried to make her feel better.
"Hold up!" Artie swiveled to look at Marcy. "You bet a dollar to do something dangerous and that got you banned from a museum?!"
"I framed it." Marcy shrugged.
"Tonight's going to be one for the books, isn't it?"
"No. I promise no craziness."
M&MC
"I love Fashion Runway reruns." Tina popped the last of her crust into her mouth.
"Me too. I just wish a new episode was on." Mercedes agreed.
"Anybody want a refill?" Quinn picked up the wine bottle.
"I can't believe I'm drinking wine." Tina blinked. She was a tad bit tipsy. "I feel like a cosmo."
"Do you want one?"
"And we can watch Sex and the City reruns!"
Mercedes giggled. "You're really into this, aren't you?"
"Yes! Let's do it!"
"I can't remember what all goes into a cosmo so I'm going to call Joey and see what goes in it." Quinn picked up her phone.
"Are you sure you're not checking up on Puck?"
Quinn looked at Tina. "No. If I were checking up on Puck, I'd call Marcy."
"Let me call Marc and check up on Marcy." Mercedes reached for her phone.
"How much trouble can they get into?" Tina shrugged.
Quinn shook her head. "Famous last words."
M&MC
"So coming all the way to Dayton for dinner was our present?" Artie asked as they left Luigi's.
"No way. I just thought you'd be hungry." Marcy fibbed.
Artie slid his glasses down his nose to peer at her.
She smiled. "Okay, it ties in."
"I think this is nice." Sam put his arm around her shoulder.
She shrugged his arm off and turned him to face her before kissing him.
Artie swatted her backside. "Hey!"
Marcy broke away from Sam and danced. "I knew it! Pay up, Chang!"
"Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!" Mike griped. "You're killing me, Sam!"
"What's going on and why did you kiss Sam?" Blaine asked.
"The bet we couldn't tell you about earlier." Marcy snatched the twenty from Mike. "I had faith in my musical sugar daddy."
"What was the bet?" Finn asked.
"First one to touch my butt."
"Is that an option?!" Puck grew excited.
"No. Hands off."
"Not fair!"
"You get a kiss." She waved a hand.
"Oh yeah." He grinned.
"Speaking of kisses, why'd you kiss Sam? Again?" Blaine got the conversation back.
"I just felt like it and I have a small window of opportunity in which that still flies." Marcy explained.
"So you're just going to keep kissing him all night?"
"Jealous?" When his mouth fell open, she pulled him forward by his jacket and laid a monstrous kiss on him. After three minutes, she let him go.
"That was exactly three minutes!" Artie had timed them.
"Whoa!" Puck was blown away. "Are my eyes going out or did that just happen?!"
"Dude!" Finn wasn't far behind him in the blown away department.
"But Blaine was gay." Sam tried to make sense of it.
"He still is." Marcy shrugged. "Come on. Let's go."
"Hell naw! We're talking about how Bowties didn't pull away and it looked like he kissed back!" Puck refused.
Blaine blushed. "I- I was- I was in shock. I couldn't pull away."
"Shock, my ass!"
Mike put a hand over Marcy's and Karou's mouths. "Let's leave Blaine alone. The only person he owes an explanation to is Kurt."
Blaine facepalmed. "He's going to kill me."
"Not if you don't tell him." Puck pursed his lips.
"You would think of that." Mike shook his head.
"We all know Kurt's high-strung. There's no way he's going to take Bowties shoving his tongue down Mini Mama's throat in a good way."
"I didn't-!" Blaine protested.
"He's right." Sam cut him off. "Kurt will probably have a cow."
"Especially after earlier this year." Finn tilted his head. "Maybe you should keep this a secret?"
"You want me to keep a secret from your brother?" Blaine was shocked.
"He tends to overreact."
"I think you should tell him." Marcy shook her head. "Honesty is the best policy."
"Because you tell Pierre everything?" Mal snorted.
"I tell Pierre everything that concerns him."
"So you told him about your special friend?"
"What are you? jealous? Yes, I did."
"Wait! What?! You told him?!"
"Yes, I did."
"And he's still with you?!"
"Oh, I've covered this." Puck said. "He's a sucka."
"I see!"
"Stop talkin about my man!" Marcy snapped.
Mal scoffed. "Your man?!"
Marcy crossed her arms. "That's what I said!"
"Please! You mean your doormat!"
"What is this?" Santana asked.
"Foreplay." Marc snorted.
"As if." Marcy snapped. "He's just mad that Pierre is a higher life form than he is."
"Higher life form?! More like biggest drip!" Mal tossed back.
"Where's your girlfriend?!"
"I'm lookin at her!"
"Try again, delusional!"
He snatched her close by her hand and kissed her.
When he let her go, she narrowed her eyes. "If you wanted a kiss, all you had to do was say so."
"I want a kiss."
She smiled and pulled him back in.
"We're going to be here all night!" Marc broke them up. "Do that later or some other time!"
"We gotta get you laid, blocker."
"Could you?!" He was serious.
Marcy pulled Mal by the hand. "Come on! We have to go or we'll be late!"
"Are we catching a show? Because I don't think you three will get in dressed like that." Sam pointed out the girls' attire.
"We look good!" Santana flipped her hair.
"Good?! We look fantastic!" Karou corrected.
"Good enough to eat?" Marcy batted her eyelashes.
"Yup." Mal muttered.
Sam heard him and grinned. "I'm not saying you look bad. Just underdressed."
"I am wearing clothes, dammit!" Marcy slid into the limo. "I have on like three tops!"
"But you're running around in your pants." Jamie dove in after her.
"They're shorts!"
"Booty shorts." Artie corrected.
"I'm done talking to you fools. I'm wearing clothes and if you don't agree to that, you're blind."
"Honey, I'm a lot of things but my eyes work fine."
Marc fist-bumped him. "Don't come outside the house looking like that no more!"
"You're not the boss of me!" Marcy snapped.
"I'm the boss of you." Mal said. "Wear more clothes."
"I think you have that backwards." Mike grinned. "She's the boss of you."
Mal rolled his eyes. "We're the boss of each other. It's how relationships work."
"Are you on acid?!" Marcy arched a brow amidst laughs. "We don't have a relationship!"
"We have two relationships, we're that connected."
She narrowed her eyes before kissing Sam again.
Sam blushed. "How many times are you going to do that?"
"Do you want a cap?"
"Cap?" Was she offering him a hat?
"Cut off. Do you only want a certain amount of kisses?"
"Oh. Uh... no?"
"Then relax."
He smiled at the way she was looking at him. Until he caught the way Mal was looking at him. He looked down.
Karou smirked. She turned to Artie. "So what's your life story?"
Artie looked her over. "You don't want to talk about me."
"Then what do I want?" She smiled.
"I don't know yet but I'd be more than happy to give it to you."
She giggled and flipped her hair.
Santana, on his other side, hit his shoulder. "Kurt, Rachel and I work at a singing diner."
"I think Tina told me that." He focused his attention on her.
"People go up and sing all the time. And they don't all suck."
"Sounds like fun."
"Sounds like karaoke." Karou snorted.
"Well it's not." Santana narrowed her eyes.
"Sounds lame." Karou raised an eyebrow.
"It's amazing."
"It's bullshit. Who wants to eat dinner at a restaurant and have to listen to some middle aged nobody scream cry their way through Oops, I Did It Again?"
Santana opened her mouth but Marcy beat her to it. "Rou."
"What?" Karou rolled her eyes.
In Japanese, Marcy told her what. "He's hers. Let him go."
"He hasn't rejected me." Karou responded in kind before kissing Artie.
Santana's jaw dropped as Marcy facepalmed. The Latina broke them up. "He has a girlfriend!"
"I don't know her." Karou went in again.
Freddie, who was on her other side, threw her over his lap and shifted so he was next to Artie and she was by her brother. "Stop causing trouble."
Karou sat back with folded arms and a major pout. "Whatever!"
Santana slapped Artie's shoulder and spoke in rapid fire Spanish. "What was that?! Why would you let her kiss you when you have a girlfriend?!"
Artie blinked. "What?"
"You know you understand me!"
Mike almost burst into laughter but he caught it at the last second and only a bit of sound escaped his mouth.
Marcy elbowed Mal and raised her brows.
He widened his eyes then caught Mike's gaze and inclined his head.
Mike threw an arm over his eyes and leaned his head back.
Mal turned to Marcy and kissed her cheek slowly.
She smiled then caught Marc's gaze and let her teeth show.
Marc cleared his throat and looked out the window.
She took Mal's hand and squeezed it.
The whole time, Santana was cursing Artie out.
"Uh... Santana?" Finn didn't know what she was saying but he knew she was mad and a Spanish speaking Santana was a pissed Santana and a pissed Santana was a scary Santana.
She swung her gaze to encompass him. "What?!"
He shrank back. "Maybe you can not be so mad? This is supposed to be fun."
Santana narrowed her eyes and opened her mouth.
"Santana!" Marcy spoke in Spanish. "Be nice. You can chew Artie out later but Finn is right. No one wants to deal with drama. We just want to have fun and get drunk. Can you take a pill?"
Santana sat back with folded arms and a dark scowl. "Whatever."
"Yeesh." Marcy said in English.
Finn was just glad to live another day and mouthed "thank you" to Marcy.
She inclined her head. "Okay, it's going to take a minute to reach our destination so we can take turns telling how it felt to turn 18."
"You want to talk about feelings?!" Monty cracked.
"Don't get cussed out, blackness."
M&MC
Mercedes elbowed Quinn. "Did Puck text you?!"
"Why are you screaming? And no." The blonde looked at her like she was crazy.
Mercedes shook her. "Check your phone!"
"Mercy!" Quinn wrested out of her viselike grip. "Get a grip!"
"It's big! This is big!"
"Momma Rose is trying to sleep. She has a wedding in the morning."
"We should tell her!"
"Tell her what?!"
"Your mom is going to a wedding? That's cool." Tina asked.
"She's a florist."
"I really like flowers. That's cool."
Mercedes didn't care about all of that. "Karou kissed Artie!"
"What?!" Quinn and Tina yelped.
"Karou kissed Artie!"
"But- but- but Artie's with Kitty." Tina couldn't wrap her head around it.
"She doesn't care." Quinn knew that.
"Did Artie kiss her back?"
"Puck says he just sat there." Mercedes reported.
Quinn checked her phone, which was on silent during their movie. "Wow. Mikey, Marc and Marcy texted. Oh. Here's Puck now. And Mal. Whoa! Here's Rou!"
"Yeah, she's texting me now." Mercedes read through the texts.
"What do they say?!" Tina was a born gossip and just had to know.
"It's in Japanese." Mercedes showed her the phone.
"Wow." Tina looked over the characters. "What's it say?"
"That she's mad Santana stopped her from kissing Artie." Mercedes left out some key details.
"Santana stopped them from kissing?!"
"Yes!"
"I have to tell someone!"
"No!" Mercedes was adamant. "Kitty will break up with him and he needs to have the chance to come clean himself."
Tina pouted and threw herself back among the cushions.
"Come on, guys. Let's just finish Hocus Pocus."
Quinn set her phone aside. "Okay. It's almost over anyway."
"Thank goodness for ABCFamily."
M&MC
"We're stopping." Sam was excited. "Where are we?! Where are we?!"
"Calm down, Smith!" Marcy waved a hand.
"Smith?"
Puck laughed. "How is Smith?"
"Really sweet." Marcy smiled. "Okay, boys (and Santana and Rou)! This is the surprise! Get out!"
They exited the limo and saw they were at a strip club. Blaine's mouth fell open, Sam's and Finn's eyes widened and Puck and Artie whooped.
"I can't go in there." Blaine whispered, scandalized.
"Yes, you can." Marcy assured him. "It's seventeen and up and it has both women and men dancers."
"You thought of everything." Joey approved.
"Don't I always?"
"Good work, Cuz."
"Now it's time for your presents!" Marcy handed Sam and Artie each a briefcase.
"The only thing that could make this better would be singles." Artie said as he unlocked his. His eyes lit up. "Marry me, Boo Thang!"
Sam's jaw dropped. "How much is this?!"
"Just a thousand." Marcy waved a hand. "I figured you can spend as much as you want and pocket the rest."
"You gave us a thousand dollars to spend at a strip club?" Sam couldn't get over it.
"You can give away as much as you want." She patted his arm.
He wasn't sure how he felt about this. On one hand, she was giving him some pretty mixed signals and on the other, he had some mixed feelings about this club. "I don't know."
"You can even keep it and send it to your family." She murmured.
He smiled. "You're a really good friend."
"I keep telling people I'm fucking fantastic but it's like they don't hear me." She rolled her eyes, sighed and grabbed his arm. "Come on. We have to go in before they close."
"What time do they close?"
"I don't know but I'm not waiting around out here to find out." She pulled him to the door.
The others followed until they got to the bouncer outside the door. He glared down at Sam. "How old are you?"
Sam shrank back. "Eighteen?"
"Let me see some ID!"
Sam pulled out his wallet and took out his driver's license. His hand trembled when he showed it off.
The bouncer snatched it from him and shined his flashlight on it. He looked between the piece of plastic and Sam's face. "This ain't you! Get on!"
Sam nodded quickly. "Yes, sir!"
Marcy pulled on the back of his jacket when he turned to run off. "Stop being a girl." She inclined her chin at the bouncer. "Let him in."
The bouncer looked her over. "How old are you?"
"Fifteen."
"MarcAn!" Joey laughed.
"Give or take three years."
The bouncer looked her over again. "Is he with you?"
Marcy looked at her hand in Sam's coat. "Uh... yeah."
The bouncer sighed. "I guess he can go in. But he better not disturb the dancers."
"He'll be a choir boy. He is a choir boy."
"Can- can I have my ID back?" Sam raised a finger.
The bouncer gave it back. "Move it along!"
Sam ran inside, dragging Marcy behind him.
The others laughed and moved forward.
The bouncer frowned down at Artie. "Hold up, Four Eyed Jack. Let's see some ID."
"He's old enough." Karou said.
"Not your usual type." Santana snarked. "He has all his own teeth."
Karou put her hand on Artie's shoulder. "What can I say? I want a change of speed."
Santana put her hand on his other shoulder. "Focus on someone else. He has a girlfriend."
"Yeah and it's not you!"
Santana bared her teeth.
Karou did, too.
The bouncer grinned. "No need for ID, kid. Roll on through."
Artie wheeled through the doorway with Karou and Santana glaring at each other the whole time.
Mike had his driver's license out.
The bouncer looked it over. "Look a bit young, nineteen. Go on."
Mike rolled his eyes and went in.
Puck and Marc got in with no problem but then Mal stepped up. The bouncer did a double take. "Didn't I just see you?!"
"That's not funny." Mal scowled.
"Was that your brother or something?"
"Yes. My older brother."
"Man, I don't meet many twins. Go on in."
"Twin!" Marc pulled Mal inside.
Jamie went next. The bouncer squinted at his identification. "You from someplace else?"
"Yeah, we all are." He hooked a thumb at his cousins.
"Alright but hands off the dancers and if you start a fight, you're out." The bouncer waved them all through until he got to Blaine. "You with them?"
Blaine nodded.
"You speak English?"
Marcy shook her head no so Blaine did, too.
"Somebody tell him the rules. Next!"
The group moved inside.
Finn laughed. "That was so cool! I didn't have to even show him my ID!"
"Rolling with us is usually like that. We're special." Marc said.
"Okay, let's order a round and sit down!" Marcy led the way to some tables and chairs by the stage.
They sat down and put in orders of shots before taking off their coats.
"Next to the stage; Cinnamon, Cardamom and Clover!" The announcer spun Flo Rida's Low.
"Well that's gratuitous." Marcy lifted her glass.
"That's thinking outside the box." Karou raised hers.
"Okay, guys! To turning eighteen!" The others raised their glasses and upended them quickly.
"Wow, that's strong!" Blaine hacked.
"You should have seen my birthday present from this girl!" Marcy clapped hands on Karou's shoulders and shook her.
"It burned out the lining in my stomach!" Marc said.
"But it was good, right?!" Karou wanted to make sure.
"Oh, no doubt!" Marcy affirmed. "But this Jolly Rancher shot was good, too. I want to try this Cinnamon Fireball!" She was reading the menu.
"Why don't we just get one of each?!" Joey plucked it from her listless fingers.
"How many do they have?!" Artie wanted to know.
"Fifteen."
"You want fifteen shots?!"
"We can handle it. We have the money." Mike told him.
"The fact that you think this is about money scares me..."
"Come on! Let's just pound this out!" Marcy ordered the first five shooters off the menu.
Three waitresses brought over the glasses. "Here you go!"
Marcy lifted her glass. "One! Two! Three!"
They all downed the first shot, which was called Going Dutch Apple Pie.
"That was kinda good." Sam licked his lips.
Marcy kissed him. "I should have kissed you first."
Mal downed the third shot, an orange colored concoction called Starburst. "We're letting these go to waste!"
Marcy downed the Starburst then lifted the green Apple Slut. "Cheers, dude!"
Both downed them.
"Wait! You're going too fast!" Karou tossed back both drinks.
"Keep up, Rou!" Marcy stood up and knocked back her last drink, Amber Alert. Then she climbed on stage and started dancing against the nearest stripper.
"Does she always do that?" Artie pulled his glasses down as if his eyes needed to see this on their own.
"She likes to dance when she drinks." Mal looked over the menu and flagged down a waitress to order another round.
"I can get with that."
Karou downed her last drink. "Then watch this!" She climbed on stage and started dancing, too.
"They're a mess. We apologize for them now." Timmy told the boys (and Santana) from McKinley.
"I think we need to appreciate these two!" Puck waved his hands before downing his third drink. "Shake it, Mini Mama, K-Easy!"
M&MC
Mercedes washed her face. "Burr, that's cold!"
Quinn shivered. "Yeow!"
"I told you!" Tina patted her face dry.
"Want to go out for ice cream?" Mercedes rubbed at her face. "A place might still be open."
"We can get some from CVS."
"Yeah, they're open until midnight. And I can get some other things." Quinn approved.
"Like what?" Mercedes asked.
"I don't know. I just want to shop."
Mercedes giggled. "Okay, let's go. It's a good thing we did facials. We don't have to worry about scaring anybody."
Tina and Quinn giggled before following her out of the big bathroom and downstairs, where they threw their face towels in the wash and put on their shoes to go.
They took Quinn's Bug and went to the nearest CVS Pharmacy. They got out and went inside.
They went down one aisle then another just playing with things and messing around. When they tired of that, they went to the frozen aisle and grabbed ice cream.
They paid then left. Quinn drove back to the Joneses' house and parked in the drive. They exited and went inside to get spoons and sat in front of the TV.
"We haven't heard from anyone in a while." Mercedes noticed as Tina flipped through the channels.
"They're too busy having fun." Quinn rolled her eyes.
"Where did they even go? It's after ten o'clock!" Tina settled on the Food Network.
"They won't be home for a while." Mercedes shrugged.
"But where are they?"
Quinn looked at Mercedes. "You should tell her."
"What? no "we"?" Mercedes said flatly. Quinn pursed her lips. She sighed and turned to Tina. "They're at a strip club."
"Strip club?!" Tina yelled.
"Shhh!" Mercedes pointed to the ceiling.
Tina covered her mouth with her hands and whispered, scandalized, "Strip club?!"
"Yes. Marcy planned a party at a strip club."
"Oh my goodness. I can't believe it! Even Sam?!"
"Well it's after ten and they haven't texted to let us know he ran off screaming so I guess he's alright."
"Wow." Tina blinked. "I wonder what they're doing right now."
M&MC
"Dude, you're my best friend!" Sam shouted.
Blaine vibrated. "Do you think she'll kiss me again?!"
"Artie, you too!"
"Touch them toes, Special K!" Artie threw his money at Karou.
"I just love you guys so much! You're the best friends a guy could have!"
"I wonder if I can trick her into doing it?!" Blaine focused on Sam. "Why does she keep kissing you?! What's your secret?!"
Sam blinked owlishly before blushing. "I'm not telling!"
"You're not a good friend!"
Sam reeled back. "Oh!"
Marcy climbed off the stage carefully and strode over to the trio. "Why aren't you dancing?! Even Santana and Karou buried the hatchet and are dancing together!"
"We can't touch the dancers!" Artie slurred.
"You can touch me." She sat in his lap and kissed him.
Santana climbed off stage. "What are you doing?! He's not yours!"
Marcy blew her a kiss before kissing Sam and Blaine then Santana herself. "Relax! Have fun! Don't cry!"
The clearly distraught Santana sniffled. "I'm not crying!"
Marcy patted her butt. "Okay! I'm going to order another round- Daddy!"
"Daddy?!" Artie was totally confused.
Marcy threw herself at the man who stopped at their table. "Papa Mike!"
"She's tipsy!" Michael said to Marcus.
Marcus nodded. "Our children are the best drunks!"
"Daddy, Papa Mike?! This is Sam, Blaine, Artie and Santana!" Marcy introduced them.
The men shook hands.
Michael peered at Santana. "Are you okay?!"
"I'm fine!" Santana hiccupped.
"She cries when she drinks!" Artie stage-whispered.
Santana tried to glare at him but he pulled on her hand until she fell into his lap. She curled up on him like a contented cat.
Marcy clicked her tongue and by some magic, everyone she wanted to hear, heard it. They all turned towards her and she waved them over. "Daddy and Papa Mike are here to have a drink with us!"
"What's up, Dad?!" Marc hugged his father.
"Dad!" Mike and Mal nodded to their father.
The cousins greeted their uncles.
"I've brought you something that I'm sure you'll like." Marcus pulled out a box.
"A box?!" Marcy wiggled excitedly. "It's beautiful!"
"She really is grateful for anything." Artie told Sam.
"No, Sweetpea!" Marcus shook his head and opened the box. "Cigars!"
"And the box?!" She wanted to know.
"If you want the box!" Marcus knew she wouldn't leave it alone now that it was on her radar.
"Just light up, Evie!" Michael took one out and handed it to her.
A waitress came by with a silver cutter on a platter. "Do you need anything? A drink? A light?"
Marcy chuckled. "Oh honey, I can start a fire underwater. But I'll take a shifter of whiskey. Jameson."
"Make it a round." Michael said.
"Be right back." The waitress left.
Marcy finished fixing her cigar and lit it from the lighter in her pocket. She took a couple puffs before dragging in a lungful of smoke. "Oh yeah."
"There's enough for everyone." Marcus held the box out.
Mike, Mal, Karou, Kerani, Freddie, Joey, Jamie, Monty, Timmy, Greg and Marc took a cigar, prepped it then lit it afire.
"I've still never tried that." Puck took one and looked it over.
Finn took one as well. "I've never even seen anyone smoke one."
"I can't believe they're smoking." Blaine blinked impossibly wide eyes.
"I'll try it." Artie took one. "How do I do this?"
Karou flew to his side but Marcy put her hand in her face and pushed her away. "Help Finn. Marc can help Artie."
Karou pouted for exactly two seconds before her eyes lit up. "Okay!"
"Aww!" Artie whined.
Santana whipped around to stare at him.
"Timmy, help Santana." Marcy handed her a cigar.
"Are we really going to do this?" Blaine looked around at everyone else smoking and felt uneasy.
"Everyone else is doing it." Sam took a cigar.
"That doesn't mean we should be doing it." Blaine picked one up.
"Do you need help?" Marcy came over.
"Uh, yeah." Sam held it out.
Marcy cut the tip then lit it, taking puffs to get it all the way lit. "Here you go."
Blaine watched Sam closely as he took his first puff. A split second before he could find out Sam's reaction; Puck, Finn, Santana and Artie started hacking. Sam nearly coughed up a lung. "I don't want to be like that!"
"First time is trippy." Marcy lifted a shoulder carelessly. "You'll get better."
"I don't want to get better. I don't want to be a smoker."
"Then don't be."
He blinked. "You're not going to make me?"
"I can't make you do anything. Either you want to try it or you don't. Who cares?"
"Maybe I'll try it later?" He pocketed the tobacco.
Marcy shrugged again. "It's whatever. Ah! Here are the drinks. Daddy? Toast?"
Marcus held up his tumbler. He held his cigar between his teeth as he thought then removed it to sprout some German.
"Daddy, I don't know what that means."
"Don't worry." Marc stared at his father in shock. "It was crap."
Marcus snapped in German.
"That's no excuse! Take a public speaking course or something!"
Marcus growled in German.
"Dad, just- let me."
"I can do this!" Marcus swore.
"Maybe it'll be better if I try?" Michael clapped Marcus on his back to spout off Japanese.
"Wow, Dad." Mike rolled his eyes. "Don't get too emotional."
Michael shook a fist and told him a few things in Japanese.
"Yeah, I know. Doctors don't have hearts."
Both Marcus and Michael were offended by that and told him so in their native tongues.
Mike responded in Japanese that they were old school and they needed a new school toast. One that wasn't empty and depressing. Preferably before the ice melted in their drinks.
"I can do it." Kerani cleared his throat. He spoke three lines only and they made Marcy smile.
"Thanks, Ani." Marcy hugged him.
"What'd he say?" Sam hissed.
"I have no idea." Artie muttered.
"To the birthday teens!" Kerani lifted his drink before downing it.
The others followed suit.
"Okay, we have to leave here. Your mothers will kill us if we stay too long." Michael said.
Marcus held out the box with the remaining cigars. "Happy birthday, Sweetpea!"
"Thank you, Daddy! Take them home for me." Marcy pushed the box back at him.
"I'll see you at the house!"
"Bye!" She waved them off.
"I can't believe you drink with your dad." Sam said. "You might be the coolest family ever."
"Might be?" She scoffed.
"Okay, you are!"
She grinned. "Come on. Let's throw more money at these very talented individuals. I've got another surprise for you guys."
"What is it?"
M&MC
"What is this?" Timmy asked.
"It's a house party!" Marcy threw up her hands.
"We left the club for this?!" Marc raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah! It's more like a pit stop but yeah!" She had to yell over the music.
"How did you even find out about this place?! And where are we?!" Mike wanted to know.
"We're about two hours from Lima! Relax! It's just a party!"
"I want to dance!" Santana had sobered up some.
"Let's hit it then!" Artie rolled up the walkway.
The group went inside.
"How old are these girls?!" Joey had to know.
"All of these people are college aged!" Marcy had made sure.
"I'm good!" Joey raced off. Monty, Jamie, Greg and Marc right behind him.
Timmy and Mike headed for the drinks table while Kerani and Freddie went to see about games.
Santana pushed Artie to the space for dancing and sat on his lap to wriggle around.
Karou turned to Finn and started wiggling against him right where they stood. Finn's face flamed as Puck laughed.
Sam smirked before touching Marcy's shoulder. "Can we kiss again?! Can I ask you that?!"
Marcy smiled and leaned up on tiptoe to wrap her arms around his neck and kiss him.
Blaine and Puck catcalled.
Mal was not happy. He wouldn't admit it but it really burned him alive for Marcy to kiss Sam (and Artie and Blaine and Santana). He took her hand and stormed off.
Sam pouted.
Puck clapped his hands on his shoulders. "They'll be back! Let's get a drink!"
M&MC
Tina yawned. "I'm so tired."
"We can go to bed." Mercedes turned off the TV and started cleaning up the den.
"This was fun. I haven't done this in a while." Tina stood to help.
"Haven't you slept over Unique's and Marley's?" Quinn asked.
"Unique's parents won't let her and Marley doesn't want anyone to see where she lives. She's come over my house once or twice but that's it."
"That's no fun." Mercedes took dirty dishes to the kitchen and ran the dishwasher.
"I really missed you guys."
"How much?" Quinn demanded.
"Quinn!" Mercedes chastised.
Tina laughed. "A lot. Like a real lot. You don't even understand."
"But you had the guys."
"There's nothing like having your girls."
Mercedes nodded. "I missed you guys, too."
"So did I." Quinn put in.
"Even Rachel?" Tina teased.
Quinn rolled her eyes. "Yeah, even Man-Hands."
"Quinn, stop calling her that!" Mercedes shook her head.
"No, I will not. In fact, I'm going to call her more names." Quinn stuck her nose in the air and walked out.
Mercedes and Tina followed her upstairs. "Stop being a witch."
Quinn scoffed in faux hurt. "I'm telling you called me a witch!"
"You're acting like Joanna."
Quinn turned around slowly and leveled a dark look on her sister. "I am nothing like Joanna."
"That was kind of creepy." Tina cowered behind Mercedes.
Mercedes pursed her lips. "I'm telling Laura on you."
"I'm telling her you called me Joanna." Quinn flipped her hair.
"Who is Joanna?" Tina wanted to know.
"Ugh!" She threw up her hands.
"Get your stuff from Marcy's room and we'll tell you all about our evil cousin, Joanna." Mercedes said.
Tina went to retrieve her things and went to Mercedes' room. She sat her stuff down and looked around the room. "Okay, tell me about Joanna."
"Go get changed. You can take the closet and we'll get changed out here." Mercedes grabbed PJs for Quinn and herself.
"I'll be right back then." Tina went into the closet and shut the door. "Holy crap! This is a room!"
Mercedes and Quinn giggled as they switched clothing.
Tina redressed quickly before coming back. "Done!"
"Us too." Mercedes was brushing her hair into a bun to wrap up.
"Okay, your cousin." Tina sat on the pallet.
"Ugh!" Quinn sneered. "Where do we start? She was born during a thunderstorm-"
"No, she wasn't." Mercedes bubbled up with laughter. "She and Joey were born during a sunny day."
"Joey?" Tina looked between them.
"One of the blond guys."
"There were two. Which one?"
"It's hard to describe because they are both blue eyed blonds. Both are tall but Freddie's hair is swoopy while Joey's is clubbed back." Mercedes tried to define her cousins' looks.
"The one in the grey waistcoat?"
"Yes!"
"Aww! He was hot!"
Mercedes and Quinn laughed. "Don't tell him that!"
"Why not? Would he get mad?"
"Far from it." Mercedes rolled her eyes.
"He has a big enough head." Quinn sucked her teeth.
"He and Joanna are twins. Fraternal twins. He and Marc are spiritual twins."
"Spiritual twins?" Tina had never heard of such a thing.
"In our family, there are twins, who are just alike and even kind of look alike when you get to know them like Marc and Joey, me and Quinn or Marcy and Karou; favorites like I'm our Nana's favorite, Quinn is our Granddad's favorite and Mikey is our Grandmom's favorite and Marc is our Aunt Chelsea's, Maddie's Uncle Jason's favorite; and there are blind spots like Mal is Marcy's, Maddie is Quinn's and I'm Mikey's." Mercedes explained.
"Oh wow." Tina's eyes were wide. "What about Mal and Marcy?"
"Mal is our Aunt Daisy's favorite while Marcy is our Grandfather's favorite. And that man doesn't like anybody." Quinn told.
"What do you mean he doesn't like anyone?"
"He hates everyone. He doesn't like anybody. Not his siblings, not his wife, not his kids, not his own mother. Just Marcy."
"Wow." Tina said with her whole mouth.
Mercedes giggled. "It's a lot to dump on you but he just doesn't do well with other humans."
"Is he better with animals?"
"Not quite."
"No!" Quinn nearly overlapped her voice.
"What is he good with?" Tina had to know.
"Numbers." Mercedes and Quinn said in unison.
"Isn't Marcy good at numbers?"
"Yes."
"Is she anything like him?"
They looked at each other before looking at her and nodding once. "Yes."
"Is that why he likes her so much?"
"Probably." Mercedes shrugged. "There's something in her that's so undeniably him that even Karou doesn't have it."
"Wow and you say they're twins?"
"They are." Quinn nodded. "That's why Rou was so mad about not knowing her secrets."
"Can you tell me pretty please what the secrets are?" Tina batted her eyelashes.
"Nice try, T but no." Mercedes shook her head.
"I won't tell a soul!" She promised.
"Like we believe that!" Quinn snorted.
Tina scoffed in hurt.
Mercedes burst out laughing. "We were talking about Joanna."
"Fine, tell me about her. I'll get your secrets out of you."
Mercedes smirked. "Whatever. Anyway, so Joey and Joanna were born in late August on a clear and sunny day..."
M&MC
"What's up?" Marcy grinned.
Mal scowled down at her. "Why do you keep kissing him?"
"Why do you care?" She pushed him away from her and walked away from the door to survey the room where all the coats were being kept. There weren't a lot...
"I hate seeing his big lips all over you." Mal could literally see red.
Marcy took off her jacket and loosened her tie as she looked out the window. "They have some kind of tiki set up out there."
He went up behind her and encircled her waist in his arms. "Don't ignore me. You know I hate that."
She patted his hands and turned in his arms. "Why do you hate seeing him touch me?"
He kissed the curve of her cheek. "You know why."
"No, I don't. Tell me."
"Marce..."
"I can't fix this if you don't tell me what's wrong." She wrapped her lips around a section of his jaw.
"Ah!" He hissed before allowing his hands to roam.
She broke away. "Ah, ah, ah! No touchy."
He fisted his hands. "Marce!"
"Why do you hate seeing his lips on me?" She poked his chest.
He lifted a brow.
"Why?" She poked him again.
He took a step back but she followed him and poked him again. "You're playing with fire."
"Why, Mal? Why?"
He settled his hands on her hips and pulled her to meet his. "Because you're mine!"
"Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner." Marcy breathed before he leaned down and captured her mouth. She backed him against the bed then threw all her weight on him to make him fall over.
He groaned and broke away to drag air into his lungs. "Mine! Mine! Mine!" He kissed her face.
She giggled before yanking his shirt out of his pants. "Mine?"
"Yours." He roved over her short shorts and undid the button and zipper before tackling her belt. "Lose the shirt."
She unbuttoned her shirt slowly to drive him crazy. She laughed throatily but stopped when he plunged a hand inside her pants.
He used his free hand to divest her of her shirt then pulled the straps of the suspenders down. "I want to see you unflower."
She flushed, from his words and his administrations. "Mal!"
"I want you to scream my name."
She rocked against his hand as it sped up. "Mal! Mal! Mal!"
"Come for me, baby." He changed the angle of his thrusts.
She clenched his hand tightly and fell atop him. "Mal..."
He undid his belt and button to his pants and unzipped. He pushed his pants and underwear down to free himself then plunged into her still quivering wetness.
She clutched him tightly and breathed little gasps of breath into his ear.
Together, they rode each other slowly then quicker and quicker until they came together in a flurry of excitement and rushed heartbeats.
She kissed him deeply and moved against him.
He stirred to life and they did the whole thing again. After, he pushed her hair from her face and kissed her flushed cheeks. "Mine."
She was still tipsy as she nuzzled his cheek with her nose. "Yours."
A loud banging came from the door.
She giggled. "I'm thirsty. Let's get a drink."
"I'm hungry." He chuckled.
She climbed off him and redressed quickly. He pulled his pants back up and redid the closures before taking her hand. She led him to the door and opened it.
Artie and Santana were on the other side. "She needs to lie down!"
Mal and Marcy looked at each other before eyeing Santana on the bespeckled boy's lap. "Sure!"
Artie grinned and offered his fist to both Mal and Marcy before rolling inside and shutting them out.
They laughed then ran to the kitchen.
M&MC
Quinn touched Mercedes' shoulder. "Have you heard from Mikey?" She was whispering so as not to disturb Tina.
"He sent me some drunk texts." Mercedes smiled as she faced her. "They're just ramblings about Firefly."
Quinn giggled quietly. "Puck keeps texting me pictures of some house. I guess that's where they are."
"They're so adorable."
"I know. I asked him if he kissed Rou yet and he said that she disappeared with Finn."
"Did we do the right thing? Sending her off to him?"
"He needs a no strings attached fling. Someone to bed that isn't out for games."
"And Rou definitely won't form an attachment."
"Not one bit." Quinn giggled.
Mercedes smiled. "What should we get the guys for being so good tonight?"
"I say we make their dreams come true." Quinn smirked.
Mercedes rolled her eyes with a silent laugh. "Should have known."
"You said it yourself; they're being good. And they're drunk as skunks."
"We can plan it for tomorrow night. After our dinner with Aaron. I'm going to need something to calm him down with."
"Stop stressing. The meeting is going to go well. Mikey doesn't do scenes and it doesn't even have to last too long."
Mercedes laid her head against Quinn's. "I just hope he's in a good mood..."
M&MC
Mike raised his arms above his head. "Whoohoo!"
Puck drank the beer in the cup. "I swear I think you're cheating!"
"You just suck!"
"Cheater!"
"Sucker!"
"Hey, guys!" Marcy waved her hands. "Jell-O shots in the kitchen!"
Both grinned before throwing their arms over each other's shoulders and heading in.
Marcy pulled Mal in but drunkenly misstepped and fell into a tiki torch. It lit the dry grass aflame and started licking at the side of the house. She poured her drink on it, forgetting that she was drinking alcohol.
The flames spread quickly.
She looked around for a hose but couldn't find one. "Uh oh! Mal?! I did something bad."
"I'll say." He cocked his head to see the flames dance higher up the side of the house.
She whined and stamped her foot. "I didn't mean to!"
"But you set another fire." He whistled lowly. People were just now noticing the flames and started freaking out. "This is going to get ugly."
"Come on." She pulled on his hand. "I can't get in any more trouble."
He followed her inside, where there was a crush to get out.
She rounded up her friends and family (having pried a naked Finn and Karou from the room) and booked it outside to the limo. "Drive!"
The driver looked between the house, alight with orange flames and her face before taking off for their next destination.
"What just happened?!" Karou was put out at having her fun times interrupted.
"Marce set another fire." Mal snorted.
"You act like it was on purpose!" Marcy bit off. "And who has flame tiki torches anyway?!"
"The peoples whose house you just burnt down." Mike said.
She leaned across a few people to smack his leg.
"Accidentally."
She wasn't buying it and sat back, disgruntled.
"Isn't it illegal to leave the scene of an accident?" Blaine hiccupped.
"Only like a hit and run." She was sure.
"Where are we going now?" Artie wanted to know.
"You'll see. You'll love it."
M&MC
"You'll love it" turned out to be the seediest, dirtiest dive bar any of them had ever seen.
"This place is covered with filth." Karou wrinkled her nose.
"Yeah but it serves minors." Marcy shrugged.
"That's all we need!" Artie shouted excitedly. "Let's roll!"
They went inside and found a large booth to sit down in. They ordered a round of drinks and set in to get rip roaring drunk.
Mike, Puck, Finn, Sam and Blaine stuck to beer to nurse. Santana got a glass of wine. Artie chose tequila to nurse while the other family members took bottles of alcohol and played Russian roulette, drink edition. Mal, however, stopped drinking.
Before ten minutes were up, guys in the bar were betting how much each of them could drink.
Before thirty minutes were up, they ran into trouble.
Joey wobbled over to the table. "I need you guys' help. This prick wants to fight but he has fifteen guys with him. I told him, I told him that's not fair. I gots my cousins so let's tumble!"
"Joey, no!" Marcy wagged a finger in his general area. "No fighting. This is apposed to be fun!"
"It'll be fun, Cuz! I promise!"
"No! What did you >hiccup< do?!"
"There might have been this chit." He scuffed his shoe against the dirty floor.
"Who did you screw?!"
"I didn't know she was gettin married!"
Marc laughed. Loudly.
Marcy waved her hands in front of her face to try to sober up. "Is she crying?"
"Hey, asshole!" Someone shouted.
The table looked at a squat beefy guy in a shirt three sizes too small for him. He had four other guys with him and he looked pissed.
"That's him!" Joey whispered loudly.
Marcy got out of the booth and approached the white guy with a buzzcut. "My cousin apologizes. He's real sorry."
"Oh, he's gon be sorry!" He yelled in her face.
"Ow! Can you not be so loud?" She lowered her voice.
"Look, bitch-!"
"Hey!" Mal stood up and walked over. "No need for name calling. We're just trying to get this resolved as quickly and painlessly as possible."
"Who are you?" The guy pushed Mal.
"Don't push him!" Marcy pushed the guy.
"Jonah, stop!" A shrill voice screamed.
Jonah looked behind him. "Shut up, you cheating bitch! You just shut your mouth, Rebecca!"
"And you wonder why she cheated?" Joey rolled his eyes.
Jonah lurched forward, almost knocking Marcy down. "Let's go, jackass!"
Marcy pushed him away from her. "What can we do to get you to let this go?"
Jonah scowled at her before taking a swing.
She ducked then stood up to uppercut him. "Rude!"
"She's drunk as hell!" Artie observed. "How'd she do that?!"
"Marcy is never too drunk to fight." Mike got out the booth. "Come on, Slugger."
"Did you see that?!" Marcy was pissed now and kicked Jonah in his right knee then his stomach then his face. As he fell onto the ground, she began stomping on his head.
Mike picked her up. "Stop that!"
"Jonah!" One of the guys with him threw a punch at Mal, who ducked and threw him over his shoulder into the table behind him.
It escalated from there...
The bartender hit the bar with a baseball bat. "I called the police! You better get out of here!"
"Kicked out of another place?" Puck slung an arm around Marcy.
She glared at him.
M&MC
"Where are we going?" Blaine wanted to know. The fresh air was doing him some good but he was still really drunk.
"When we stopped to pee, I heard about a party going on." Marcy wiped her eyes.
"Gon burn that house down, too?" Jamie mocked.
Marcy flipped him off. "It's at the beach."
"The closed beach?" Finn wanted to make sure.
"Yup. It's going to be killer."