part 2 or whatever
My teacher threw a clock at me today. That's fun.
Also when writing this chapter and the last one I totally forgot that I already wrote a chapter about Alana's house and made absolutely no mention of her roommate before but we'll just pretend that I did ok? Alright.
Not long after the drinks were handed out Jared ordered pizza. As we waited for the pizza guy to arrive, we started snacking on the food that was already there- which was mostly just chips and the dip Evan made.
"Holy shit," Alana said out of nowhere, "I just realized that you guys are starting college like, soon. Soon-soon." Across the room, I see Evan shutter out a nervous breath and a very annoyed looking Jared roll his eyes.
"Yeah, I guess," Evan says, kinda embarrassed.
"Maybe you two will turn out like me, a total nerd in high school then as soon as you hit college be the coolest one on campus," Alana awkwardly points at us with finger guns.
"And that was by far the lamest thing I've ever heard you say." Evan laughs.
"Trust me, it gets lamer," Jared says, still annoyed for whatever reason.
"God, don't remind me about college," I say, ignoring them. "I have to worry about moving."
"Nooooo! You can't move!" Alana whines, flopping back into the chair dramatically. I'm guessing she totally forgot that my college is not the one she and Evan are going to.
"Wait, you're moving?" Jared asks, even though he visibly wants this conversation to end.
"Oh yeah. New York City, right?" Evan joins in. Well, at least he remembers, Alana.
I nod and say, "Yeah, but it's not that far away."
"Yes it is! You'll be a million miles from here!" Alana complains.
"It's just an hour and a half drive."
"That's a million miles!"
We all laugh, besides Alana, who's pouting.
"When all your friends leave you," Jared says jokingly, taking a swig of his drink.
"Oh shut up Jared." Alana sits up, totally leaving behind her pouty act. Jared scoffs and she adds, "Evan, I hope you know the only reason he hates college is that he won't get to see you anymore." Jared makes a confused face, but Evan just giggles.
"Aw, are you going to miss me?" Jared frowns and crosses his arms.
"No..." Evan raises an eyebrow, smirking a little.
"Don't lie, Jared," I say knowingly. Me and Alana make eye contact, and she winks at me.
"Okay maybe," he mumbles, "but that's not the only reason."
"Yeah, okay doofus. What're the other reasons then?" Alana asks. Jared stares at nothing for a second, thinking. Evan snorts a little when he doesn't say anything.
"Okay, maybe I don't have another reason! But what's the problem with that? Is it so bad that I'm a little upset about not getting to see my friends very often?" He asked defensively, but I can tell he was mostly joking.
"What about your other friends? From camp?" Evan asked.
"We've already talked about this, those friends are nonexistent."
"No, we talked about your history with women being nonexistent. You never said anything about your friends."
"I didn't say it." Jared states. "You did. Before."
There was a beat, then Evan said "Oh." Suddenly the joking atmosphere disappeared, replaced with a tense silence. Alana and I shared a confused glance. I shrugged, and she shrugged, too.
Then the door bell rang, and it stopped.
"Food!" We all yelled out, and Jared jumped up to get the pizza.
_______
As time went on, the party got more interesting. We discovered that Alana was a beast at beer pong after Jared challenges her to a game of it and she dominated. Alana tried to blame it on her roommate, but I'm pretty sure she has always had an inner party animal and just never realized it in high school.
I also found out that Jared still drinks Koolaid after I looked in his fridge for something for me to drink. I asked him about it and he replied: "My parents are the ones who buys it, not me."
"They keep buying it cause you keep drinking it," Evan countered, making Alana laugh.
"Hey, don't expose me bitch." Jared says, laughing himself. "That's stuff's good okay."
And of course, Jared and Evan both increasingly got more drunk.
You couldn't really tell Jared was drunk by his appearance, but sometimes he would spew out the most random shit he could think out.
One time Jared wondered out loud if he could open a confetti popper with just his mouth. After Evan told him no, it was absolutely the dumbest thing he has ever heard, Jared said, "Don't tell me what to do you deep fried burnt ass chick dick, I'm nineteen. I'm an adult." He didn't do it though, thankfully.
Evan, on the other hand, got rosy cheeks and really giggly. He wasn't a party drink, like Alana and I hoped. He just curled into a ball on the couch and listen to our conversations, giggling at everything. He got really flirty every now and again. Mostly just toward Jared, though, which I thought was funny. He acted kinda like like a blonde high school girl. I mean, it's close enough.
Jared either didn't notice Evan was flirting, or he was flirting back. I couldn't decide.
Alana didn't really drink as much the other two, but she was at least buzzed. She would sometimes dance a little to the song that was playing in the background, sing parts of it, even. Or sometimes she would just kinda blank out while she was trying to tell a story, then after a second remember what she was trying to say and continue talking.
Definitely not a frat party. But it was actually better than I expected, and a lot less awkward.
At one point, I noticed Alana missing while being greatly amused by Evan and Jared's argument.
"It's a floating rock in space."
"That doesn't make him any less valid!"
"Pluto is way too small to be a planet Evan!"
"Yeah ok and you're way too small to be anything but a midget Jared."
"Bitch you fucking take that back."
"Nah."
"I will have you know that I am 5'7 that is not that short."
"That's below average height for a guy."
"You're only two inches taller than me!"
"And those two inches get me into average range."
"I will destroy your entire bloodline."
"Oh really?"
"Don't you fucking flirt your way out of this." Oh so he did notice.
"Make me."
"Good lord of left nipples Evan I swear to God."
Anyway, after that fun segment I explored the house to go find Alana and make sure she wasn't doing anything stupid.
She wasn't in the kitchen, or in the bathroom that was down stairs. There was only the laundry room, garage, and a coat closet left on the first floor, and I'm pretty sure she wasn't in any of those.
I felt awkward going up the stairs, like I was intruding in Jared's home, since he never really told us wether or not we could go up there. But I doubt he would mind that much, plus Alana's already up there, so I'm sure it's fine. I slipped up the stairs, without the two bozos in the living room noticing- I think.
When get up there, I'm glad to see a door ajar, so I won't have to look through all the rooms to find the right one.
I let myself in and say "Are you snooping?" She turned to face me and smiled, mischief in her eyes.
"Maaaybe," she says, laughing. I look around the room. It was plain and clean. It had a dresser, desk and a bed, with a little decoration to go with it. The bed was just a double, so I assumed the it was a guest bedroom. I noticed her looking at few picture frames on the desk.
"What are those?" I ask, walking up to her.
"Oh, look, look," she says picking up a frame and giving it to me. "It's Jared. When he was 12."
Yep, beaming back at me was a happy smaller version of Jared with thicker glasses and decked out in camp gear.
"Oh my God, he's such dork."
"I know right?" I hand it back to her, and she puts it back on the desk with the other pictures. The others were just of Jared and his family. A normal couple with one weird ass kid.
Alana flopped down on the bed and stretches. "Are they still yelling about Pluto down there?"
"It changed to how short Jared is." I reply sitting down next to her. She sighs
"Man I just wished they would just start dating already." She said, completely out of nowhere.
"Wait, what?"
"Haven't you seen them flirting with each other?"
"Well, yeah, but I never thought of it like that." I've only just noticed them flirting, and it's only because they're drunk. Right?
"Oh, it's definitely like that. They flirt all the time. And all Jared can talk to me about is the times that they hang out together."
"Are you sure?" I asked, and thought about it for a second. I mean it does makes sense. But they could just be joking. If two straight dudes can slap each other's asses and make sexual jokes all the time, then so could two gay guys. Wait hold on-
"Positive." She said. They're going to get married and raise a dog child together. You just watch." We both laugh, imagining how that would turn out.
_______
We talk about some other random things for a while. After a bit, Alana got off the bed.
"I'm going to go get some water, and check on the boys. Make sure they're not sleeping. And if they are I need to personally be the one to write on their faces or stack a whole loaf of bread on their heads without waking them up." I say ok, and wonder where the hell she got that idea from. Tumblr, probably.
She leaves, leaving me alone to wander in my own mind.
But she didn't leave me for long.
She soon bursts into the room, while at the same time trying to be quiet as possible. She was grinning so hard, and just had a look of absolute delight on her face.
She whisper yelled "I told you! I fucking told you!" She chucked her phone at me. I caught it and looked at the image on the screen. It was taken from the top of the stairs, and was quite blurry. "They're smoochin'!"
And even though it was a bad photo, you could still clearly see that they were, in fact, drunkenly kissing.
I don't know what the fuck that argument turned into, but all I know now is that I have to pay Alana 20 bucks.
~~~
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Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy the rest of the story.
Sincerely, your favorite person with babyhands,
Me