Title: Time Spent.. -- Horribly..
Warning: angst, overthinking. Proceed to the next/another chapter if it can't be handled.
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(Y/N) POV
The same feeling of emptiness engulfs me emotionally.. once again.
I'm being overdramatic again..
'No (Y/N).. dramatic or not...your feelings are valid..'
voices of my friends echoes through my void of a mind...
I don't matter..
'You matter to us..'
I'm worthless and a waste of time..
'You're important..'
...
'I love you'
Drip...
Why do those words always get me...
Plip...
I don't get it.. what is there to love about me..? I'm literally.. a spoiled brat who's difficult to handle or befriends with...
Ding!
Grabbing my phone under my pillow, it was a message from (C/N)...
(C/N) 10:39 pm
-Hey hun! How are you? :)
staring blankly at the phone.. my eyes focused on the name..
'hey hun!'
...
Plip...
I tiredly twist myself to look at my ceiling.. nothing to distract me... Atleast I get to talk to myself.. unhealthily... At moments like this where everything is shit, my self talks ends badly.
This is why... I don't want to be alone with my thoughts...
Ding!
(C/N) 10:50 pm
-(Y/N)? Are you ok?
I wiped my tired eyes to see my phone clearly, typing my reply to atleast not leave (C/N) hanging just to worry.
[ No... I'm not fine... I..| ]
I stopped my fingers to undo what I wrote.. I don't want him to worry.. he dealt with my bullshit millions of times already.. I don't want to burden him anymore.
[ No... I'm no| ]
[ Aayee, doin' gud. Just restin' in bed like the lazy ass I am] send
(Y/N) 10:55 pm
Aayee, doin'gud. Just restin'in bed like the lazy ass I am
(C/N) 10:57 pm
-hahaha! Saaaame! Just playing as well too xd
(Y/N) 10:58 pm
Oohh, what game?
I may have asked but in reality... I'm not interested for now. Just replying 'happily' so he won't worry..
(C/N) 10:59 pm
-You know, (F/G)! I've been farming shite just to be the powahful player I am!!
(Y/N) 11:00 pm
As always, lol
I turned my phone off and continued to stare at the blank wall. Reflecting on what happened awhile ago.
Nothing went wrong.. I was being overdramatic and selfish again...
X flashback: School 2:35 pm X
"Heya!" I greeted cheerily to my friends and (C/N).
It was (S/N) //subject name// , the only time me and the dudes get to spend time at school. Since all of us are seperated to different sections.
"Yo! (Y/N)! Want some quality meme content?" (F/N) happily asked as I grin.
The two of us had been dying of laughter, laughing our asses off with every single relatable and dank memes. Ofcourse we shared this to (C/N) too, who also laughed along with us.
As we all calmed down, I remembered that I wanted to show (C/N) something! A fandom that I just recently joined! (FD/N)! //Fandom name//.
"Ey! Ey! (C/N)! wonna wonna wonnnaa watch this with meeee~?" I smiled, tugging at his shirt... But he just stared at my phone with no interest..
I mean, I know everyone has their own interests.. but it's just my way to atleast get to hangout with someone who you don't get to spend time with personally.. especially if it's your boyfriend.. since we're both in seperated sections.
"I'm not really in to those.." he admitted. I have no problem with that.. but what if I try to atleast get him to watch it with me, he doesn't have to be part of the fandom. Just him watching it with me would be enough.. yeah! Maybe I should try that!
"It's alright if you're not in to it, but just watch it with me pleeease? Pleeeeeease?" I kept tugging on his shirt but no budge..
"Well, I'm still reading here.." he murmured...
I did say that it's alright since everyone has their own interests... But why do I feel rejected....
"Bonding..?" I lowly asked, as he continued his business...
"I'll just read here, you can watch it tho." He said as he did continue reading...
Why... Did that hurt..?
Darn it... I'm over reacting again... Quit it (Y/N).. stop being selfish and spoiled! You had those moments too..! So stop..
But I can't help it...
For fucks sake (Y/N), everyone has their own business and likes of interest! Don't force!....
Darn it...
X flashback: home 7:34 pm X
(C/N) 7:35 pm
-heyaa, how are ye?
(Y/N) 7:37 pm
Ayyyee ya boii just got home!
(C/N) 7:40 pm
-good to know you're home safe
(Y/N) 7:42 pm
Btw, I found this meme!
(C/N) 7:45 pm
Oof-- hahaha! Nice
(Y/N) 7:49 pm
Wanna roleplay?
(C/N) 7: 52 pm
Nah xd maybe next time, the story is getting interesting, it's really good
Oh.... Again I guess..
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Sigh...
I need to rest... Everyone needs their own time.. I'm just being a selfish friend again....
Stupid overthinking selfish self centered me...
Not everyone has time for you or bonding, let them be happy with their alone time..
Like you are right now..
Overthinking.. so much it's starting to become irrelevant... Just stop it me...
Time spent... Horribly..
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Daz all folks!! Err, more updates to come! Just thought of this storeh!
Sorreh if it's random! And a piece of shit work as always-- but anyway! Thank y'all!
See y'all!
Released: 11/29/19