"Hello!"
Gracious another one.
"How nice to see you!"
Now why do I think I suddenly don't like the sound of that?
I moved forward with the boxes in my hand allowing the door to slowly close after removing my feet from being the wedge. This was what I got for deciding that I'd help Mrs. Henderson out with the boxes, well, that and the fact that I made a new set over the weekend. The woman, short, brunette, hair reaching to her lower back, curved hips and fully endowed in the breasts department walked over to me with a smile. I stared at her a little too long than originally intended, wondering how the hell she was even real.
I didn't ask, but even when the proximity between us filled out I still couldn't help but wonder.
The community house was filled with women I noticed, half that I didn't recognize, especially this one that was standing next to me. I felt her lingering gaze, something I wished she'd had the dignity to stop doing. Dropping the boxes to the ground I scanned the room a final time. I couldn't find her though and something told me having more than a good bye conversation with this woman would lead to me regretting it.
"Have you seen Mrs. Henderson?" I asked actually genuinely needing the answer. I would have liked to give her the boxes personally but if she wasn't here, leaving them with a caretaker would have to do since they were never returning with me.
"Sally? Yeah" she replied.
I waited patiently for her to get her but she didn't stir just continued to stare with a smile.
"Can you get her?" my eyes traced to the position of the boxes. "She's supposed to get these"
"No" she shook her head. "I don't know where she's at in this huge place right now"
How convenient.
I glanced around in the room in despair realising there were no men present, it didn't take long for me to understand why the well all men ran suddenly dry on this side of buildings, if I knew this was how it would be, I'd never come myself. Brian would. I'd make him.
"Andrew?"
I turned to see Jill who was standing in her mom attire, a full on dress in her soiled apron, and flat shoes, her black hair caught in a bun.
"Hey"
"What are you doing here?"
"Dropping off some boxes for Sally"
"Oh" she scanned the room. "No telling where she might be now, you want me to take those from your hands?"
"Gladly" I replied.
Jill smiled gesturing to the boxes. "But there's no way you expected me to carry them right? Be a gentleman and walk to the back, there's plenty of space there"
They weren't all that heavy, one was mostly pieces of Gale's clothing she left when she hurried out of the house, towels, curtains. Yes I took every damn thing down.
"He's Sally's andrew?" The brunette asked, her eyes growing much bigger than previously taking in my figure.
Jill nodded enthusiastically. "Handsome isn't he?"
Both women giggled shamelessly walking behind me, taking loudly then falling off to a whisper again. Reaching the back as they suggested, I dropped the boxes among the others feeling the need to just escape. At this point I felt like I overstayed my welcome and I wagered being in hell was much more pleasant than hearing two women acting like children.
"Wait andrew?" The brunette held on to my hand as I moved to leave. " Charlie" she said introducing herself.
"Okay" she already knew my name and from what I heard from their chatter, alot more than I'd ever thought strangers would know about me. Jill disappeared leaving us alone and I knew that was a bad sign.
"I've heard so much about you"
Again her eyes raked over my body parts inappropriately and I grimaced. I didn't think much of it the first time around owning that I stared at her initially but now, this was too much.
"I was wondering if-"
"Sorry I'm not interested" I said.
Usually I'd been alot smoother letting them down but in this case getting to the point was probably best. I didn't know what Jill told her to boost her confidence but she'd have to kill her later for the false hope. She might have been nice, I'm assuming since the only quality that was available for consideration was her body and I wasn't the physical only type of guy, that and the fact that while she was attractive, there was more pressing issues on my mind.
She glanced away from me, her eyes suddenly digging into the rise floor boards, embarrassment colouring her cheeks. Within a few minutes she started to laugh.
"Sorry" she said. "I don't blame you for thinking that's what I wanted at all, but that's not it"
okay, what was it then?
"What is it?"
"Just asking if you could take care of handling a few children that's all. Our hands are currently filled out here"
"I'm not a children type of guy"
She laughed again. "Oh sure you are, we all are"
"I'm not"
"Please it's only for a few minutes and they won't be a trouble"
Right, where have I heard that before?
She led me to a small room where about twenty children were stuffed, the room was large enough for them to play but with all the toys,and not to mention the little devils themselves I felt like I was loosing breath all together.
Clapping her hands together Charlie called them to attention asking them to take a seat on the rug that was conveniently placed in surrendering the room, reluctantly with mumbling they moved forward unappreciative of their end in recess.
"Uncle Andrew" she patted my hand. " Will be doing the honours of story telling today"he
Wait, what?
"I don't do stories either" I hissed under my breath to her.
"Its easy you read, they listen" she replied through smiles. "Have fun"
If I didn't know better, I'd have thought she ran out of the room, when the door clicked shut I cursed inaudibly, wondering how the hell I moved from dropping off boxes to baby sitting in less than fifteen minutes; because that's exactly what they wanted me to do. Baby sit, keep them distracted while they worked.
"Hey mister" asked a little boy. "What were you mumbling about just now?"
I raised a brow. The biggest reason why I didn't want children.
"Take a seat" I said grabbing the near by chair and scratching my head. I was giving myself ten minutes, ten minutes and then am gone.
"Uncle Andrew" said a little girl holding her hand up. "How old are you?"
Uncle.
"No uncle, just Andrew" I responded grimacing at how old she actually made me feel.
"And to your question, you're too young to want to find out"
"You're really old aren't you, that's why you don't wanna tell us, old man" said a little thin boy at the back laughing his head off.
A smart ass. It only took a single look from me to get him to sit on his ass, zipping his mouth, his entire cohort doing the same. I might not have a knack for entertaining children but I was a stickler for manners even though I was an asshole myself. But they weren't me and they were too young to even think they were on common ground with an adult. They could always try that with maybe Charlie or jill, certainly not Sally and definitely not me.
I took in a deep breath releasing it slowly, running my hand over my face. "Okay, choose a story"
The room erupted around with hurled names, some I couldn't even make out.
"Finding nemo!"
" No, Hansel and gretzel"
"Jack and the bean stalk!" Yelled another.
Everyone started to groan.
"We read Jack and the bean stalk three times already Hannah"
"But I really like it" she mumbled back, her small squeaky voice making me smile.
"Okay, okay" I said holding up my hand getting them to settle down. I grabbed a book from the table next to me. "How about the three little pigs"
" No! " they said in unison taking me by surprise.
"We're not babies" said the little boy again.
I scratched my head. They won't be a bother right?
"Alright, " I said getting up and rummaging through a litter they had. "Goldilocks"
"No!"
"Either this story or no story"
"You're not very nice mister" said a little girl at the front.
"You want to see the pictures?"
She smiled revealing a missing tooth and I couldn't help but smile in return patting my leg.
"Alright" I said lifting her to sit. " I'll read one side and" I looked at the little girl. "What's your name"
"Amelia" she said proudly.
"That's a pretty name"
"Thank you" her smile widening than the one I'd seem previously.
"Amelia will read the other and show you all the pictures" .
*************************************************
No one came back to retrieve me. They lied. Took advantage of my presence and leaving I told Mrs. Henderson that they'd burn in hell. She laughed, thanking me for my time but I knew she shouldn't have. I was never going back, even though admittedly I had fun reading with little monsters.
I drank my beer casually, picking at the food before me. Now that everything was out of the house, I'd need to go shopping. The prospective of having to shop didn't fill me with enthusiasm. When we prepared to move, Gale did all the shopping, I just drove around and waited in the car for her to return. If anything, I knew shopping with Gale would bring me more grief than waiting in the car. She had this annoying habit of comparing every price, walking every shelf, then revisited the same ones to pick up the very things only earlier she'd left behind. I couldn't understand the logic behind that reasoning and I probably never will.
But now, it was just me. I didn't need the house to be completely filled, a few toiletries, towels, curtains, plates, sheets and then again I probably wouldn't need everything all at once.
Leaving myself to my thoughts, my mind drifted to kendall. I still hadn't heard from her and she still won't take my calls. I didn't have a clue if she read my messages, she never responded and I had the growing feeling that things were never going to get better and that scared me. Terrified me actually. I didn't think I'd feel this way about not having to talk to or see her. Since day one, I've always told her to stay away, not not come around and when I finally got around to ask her to stay I pushed her away.
It wasn't just my guilty conscience that was eating away at my mind, I missed her. Missed everything about her. In a night like this she'd think no one one saw her, being lost in the crowd as she drank her liquor aka lemon water. Tino had told me of the night she experimented with having shots and I laughed knowing I missed an occasion like that.
I leaned further into my seat, thinking of her, I probably wasn't supposed to but she was all that filled my thoughts each day. I figured it was better than grieving about gale, only sometimes she seemed more of a figment of my imagination than a real person. I couldn't touch or feel her, not hear her laugh or see her smile, but those were the silly things I missed. Just her being annoying but present.
I pulled out my phone again for the third time since I finished brunch dialing her number this time, listening to the dial tone. It hit voicemail and I dialed again. The moment I heard something other than an automation slip in my heart slipped a beat.
"Hello?" Her voice came softly over the phone.
"Andrew are you there?"
" Yeah, hi"
She laughed and my chest tightened.
"Hi, are you okay?"
" Yeah" my initial thoughts were to apologize but changed my mind. I wanted to do that in person, to see her. That was the honourable thing to do. "You..?'" I asked realising the line went silent.
" Yeah, exhausted a little. But yeah, thanks for asking" she went silent again and so did I.
I'd been longing to hear her voice, and now, now I lost the ability to think or make conversation.
"I'm sorry" she said again.
"For what?" I was the one that should have been apologizing not her.
"Not returning your calls. I wanted to but-"
"Kendall!" A voice in the background called at her interrupting her sentence. "You're not on the phone again are you? ".
" Shit! " she mumbled. "I can't catch a break with you"
She laughed lightly at her situation almost giggling like a little child before settling down and bursting out again. I smiled. She was still herself.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry" she repeated.
"Kendall!" The man yelled again.
"I'm sorry" she said again. "Mom is having a fit, can I call you back?"
"Yeah sure"
"Thanks" she shuffled around a few times and I listened as she took a deep breath. "Peter will you give me a break!"
"You're on a call again"
"It was an important call!"
" It's not so important since its on my time, it can wait "
"You're incorrigible"
Then the line went dead. I'd admit to feeling jealous hearing another man's voice in the background, don't ask where it came from but I did. If she went back to her ex, I'd be pissed, but there was nothing I could do about it. She deserved better, certainly not the cowardice or toxic relationship she lived through all that time, not again. Submitting yourself to that type of bullshit screwed with you after a while. You don't notice it initially but slowly you begin to lower your standards thinking you're not good enough for someone else, someone better.
We were friends, and even if we never become anything more, I didn't want her to get hurt again, not if I could help it. So to say I felt relief hearing her mention her publisher's name was a huge understatement. The fact that my body suddenly felt heavy was living proof that sometime inbetween hearing him call out to her and hearing her laughing my entire body went numb, my heart stopped beating, I couldn't breathe or speak. Fear wedging himself inside my throat and I watched my hands loose grip of the bottle I held as my fingers went pale, blood receeding.
If it wasn't for that one time at the lake hearing her mention that name for the first time to my hearing and having gotten a good explanation, I might've been in the hospital. I only knew her ex's name, but I didn't appreciate the tone of his voice towards her even if she was laughing.
We're admitting to liking her now?
Shut up!
You kissed her idiot, I know you liked it and we both know-
I placed the bottle to my head numbing my thoughts, the last thing I needed was to hear my own self lecture me about anything.