You watched from the corner of the room as Taylor joked around with her friends. It's another night at another party and you feel invisible, even to your own girlfriend.
You feel as though lately you've been excluded by Taylor and her friends. You don't feel like they want you around and it leaves you feeling worrisome and embarrassed. You sit at these parties all alone, not that you ever wanna come to them in the first place.
You got tired of stirring the small straw around in your drink and set it down on the counter. You strode over to Taylor and tapped her on the shoulder. She smiled when she turned around to see you but it was replaced by a frown when you tugged on her arm and asked if you could talk to her privately.
She sighed but agreed, following you to a empty part of the room and looking at you as though she wanted you to just get whatever you wanted to say out of the way so she could go back to her friends. "I don't really know what's going on lately, but I feel excluded from you and your friends." Taylor scoffed and pressed her tongue to the roof of her mouth as though she was trying to keep herself from saying something she shouldn't. "That's not true y/n and you know it."
You felt your heart sink. You tried to speak again but she interrupted you. "The only reason you feel like this is because you don't like to get out and do things to make your own friends. I'm sorry you feel this way but it's untrue and you know it. Don't say that we're excluding you when you sit and sulk around at these parties. That's not our fault, it's yours." Her shoulder harshly brushed yours as she walked away from you and back to her friends.
She went back to talking to them immediately, as though she didn't even care about what she said to you. You tried to walk to the bathroom down the hall while keeping your tears at bay. As soon as you entered the bathroom you broke down and sat on the floor against the door, sobbing and feeling misunderstood and worthless.
Taylor knows parties aren't your thing. You only ever go to them for her and she normally keeps an arm around you or if she senses even a hint of you becoming uncomfortable she'd make sure you got out of there as quickly as possible. She knows your anxiety holds you back from these things; from going out and making new friends or being in a crowded area. She's never once blamed you for that. She's promised you that she'd never judge you or hold that stuff against you, but she broke that promise tonight and in the most embarrassing and heartbreaking way imaginable.
A knock on the door made you jump. You stood up and unlocked the door and when you opened it you saw Taylor standing there. You thought she was here to say sorry, to tell you that she didn't mean it as she'd pull you in her arms and let you cry against her chest. But that wasn't the case. "Come on. Let's just get you home."
She didn't hold your hand or wait for you to walk behind her. She simply left. She sounded as though she was mad at you and that made you feel like crying all over again. You met her in the car. No words were spoken. No apologies were made. It was just silence the entire way home.
A few days passed and things have been rocky since that night. You've been trying to avoid her without noticing. You'd stay at work a little later, finding every excuse you could when she'd ask you why you were home so late. You didn't wanna stay home with her. Everytime you'd look at her all you could think about was the harsh words she said to you and the way she acted, as if it didn't bother her one bit.
It didn't take long for Taylor to feel guilty though. When she realized that her words and actions that night had made you not want to be around her. It broke her heart, but she knew that that pang of hurt in her chest was nowhere near the amount you felt that night and were clearly still feeling now.
She waited for you up in the bedroom so when you got home she could sit you down and talk with you. She prepared herself for you to yell at her, because she felt as though she deserved that.
She heard the front door open and close downstairs before you came up to the bedroom. When you saw her sitting on the bed you sighed and tried to go back downstairs, but she gently grabbed your hand and pulled you down next to her. "I know you're avoiding me." She muttered, her eyes roaming your face for any sign of emotion but you stayed stone cold. "I know it's because of what I said at the party the other night. I'm so sorry."
You stayed silent, but inside you felt like crumbling. "I don't know what came over me that night but what I said was uncalled for and so unnecessary. I can't believe I said what I said but I shouldn't have. I'm so sorry."
You looked down at the hem of your shirt and started to toy with it out of nervousness. "You didn't even listen to me. You didn't even try to understand how I felt and why I was telling you that. You know how much I hate those parties, but I go there for you! Then you and your friends made me feel like I was unwelcome and unwanted. It hurt. But not nearly as much as what you said to me. You basically used my anxiety against me and that fucking hurt."
You raised your voice as Taylor expected, but she didn't expect for you to cry. "I tried to tell you how I felt and you acted like you were mad at me for it. It hurt, Taylor. I just wanted you to tell me that it was okay, that I'm okay, and I wanted you to hold me and assure me that your friends didn't think badly of me. But you did the complete opposite. You made me feel worthless."
Taylor's eyes were filled with tears when you said that you felt worthless. She never wanted to feel like that, and especially not because of her. "I don't know what came over me that night, but baby you are not worthless. You are beautiful and amazing and I am so in love with you. I'm sorry for the way I acted, even though sorry will never be enough. You didn't deserve that and I am so ashamed of how I spoke to you. My friends love you, I can promise you that."
You saw the tear fell from her eye and you reached up to wipe it away. "I really am sorry." She mumbled and you pulled her in for a hug. You smiled when she hugged you back and placed a few kisses to your head. "What can I do to make it up to you?" Taylor asked and you lifted your head from her shoulder to let your lips collide with hers for a loving kiss. "Just hold me for a while."
Taylor gently pulled you on her lap and wrapped her arms around you. "I won't let you go." She promised, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear and kissing your temple lovingly as she held you close for the first time in days, soaking in every second of you back in her embrace where you felt like you belonged most.