He took my hand tightly in his and when we walked outside from my little hiding place, I almost took a few steps backwards because there were a lot of people waiting for us and the amount of photographers was multiplied and all those flashes that went off were blinding.
Harry grabbed my hand tighter is his and pulled me close next to him "keep your eyes on the ground, I'm so sorry for this" he told me softly and I followed his instructions and kept my eyes on the ground and that's when the questions started.
"Are you together?"
"Harry, is she pregnant?"
"Sam are you with him for the fame?"
"Harry what about Kendal?" I had to cancel it all out but there were tears on my face because how could they act like this. Harry pulled my hand to get my attention and I looked up slightly and he gave me a pair of earplugs and his phone, which was playing music and I quickly put them in my ear. He had put on one of my favorite singers, Ed Sheeran and I couldn't hear the paparazzi any longer and I immediately felt better.
I felt a light squeeze in my hand and it made me smile because Harry was doing everything he could to make me feel a bit more comfortable. It didn't really help but it was the thought that counted. We quickly walked towards my pub and he immediately took me upstairs. When we got in I made myself ready to start work but when Harry saw that he got angry. "You can't be serious right?" He said angry and he looked at me a bit disappointed but I head to work the evening shift. "Yes I am, there is no one who can work the evening shift at the moment Harry." I told him irritated but he wouldn't have it and when I tried to walk past him he stopped me but I avoided his hand and ran downstairs and walked into my office.
I let myself fall on my chair and put my head on the desk and sighed multiple times when I suddenly heard the door close and I peeked from under my arms who it was and I was relieved that it was Rose and not Harry. "Are you okay Sam?" Rose asked worried as she took a seat across from me. "No I'm not fine" I said with a lump in my throat
"We are going to announce the pregnancy to the world and modest management wants us to be together" I told her and I heard her gasp "No they wouldn't force you to be in a relationship right?" I looked at her and realized that she doesn't know how a management works "Sadly enough they can and now I don't know what to do"
I put my head back on my arms and she kept quiet "What about the pub and do you have to live with him as well?" She asked softly and I let out a groan because to be honest I hadn't thought about it but I guess that was what they wanted eventually and especially with a baby on the way.
I smashed my head against the table and I couldn't stop because it was numbing the pain I felt in my chest. "Sam" I heard Rose say but I didn't pay attention and she began calling my name a few times and after trying to get me to stop she ran out of my office. Not long after she left, she came back but she wasn't alone and I was seeing stars by now and there was a slight change of a bruise on my head from the bashing but suddenly I couldn't move my head any more, so I blinked my eyes a few times and saw stars everywhere and I had a huge headache.
"Stop hurting yourself Sam" A raspy voice said and I knew it belonged to harry only I hadn't heard him speak with such a raspy voice it made me look up and saw that there wears tears in his eyes and I knew that it was my fault. "I'm sorry" I whispered and he nodded "I'm sorry as well, I wish that I could make it better for you" he told me and I knew it wasn't his fault but this whole situation that we were in was making me feel like I was drowning but I didn't had to be a bitch about it and I had to be a bit more understanding of Harry because this was out of his hands.
I turned my chair and was now facing him and I wrapped my arms around him. He rubbed my shoulders and was trying to sooth me and soon Rose came walking back in and her face was looking tense. "I'm sorry for interrupting but it's sheer madness out there and we really need your help" She said and I quickly got out and was followed by Harry.
My eyes were big when I saw the crowd in the pub and I moved into action immediately and I turned towards Harry. "Harry can you please go either upstairs or wait for me in my office please" I ordered him and he did what I asked without being difficult about it.
That was a first today but I shook this feeling from me because I had to deal with this insane crowd. "Rose go welcome the guests, Jimmy, make sure everyone who is sitting has something the drink, you can use Lucy for this and if you need me I will be helping in the kitchen" everybody was running around performing to excellence.
After 2 hours the crowd was finally slimming down and I could finally get out of the kitchen. I was grateful for that because I was so tired. I took a seat on my chair and I rested my head against the back of the chair. Just a few moments of silence that was all I was asking for. "Sam?" Harry popped his head around the corner and I wasn't even looking up but I heard him enter my office and take a seat in front of me.
"What do you want Harry?" I asked him and he sighed, "I was waiting for you to come up but after 2 hours I just had to see if you were alright and not overworking yourself" I found his worried side sweet and I had to give it to him, he did his best.
I looked at him and couldn't avoid the topic of us being together for the sake of our baby and the fact that modest wanted us to be together in public any longer. "Harry what do you want to do?" I asked him with a sigh and he looked up surprised and a bit confused because I was asking this out of the blue. "I'm sorry you lost me?"
"I mean about us, what do you want to do?"
"You know I want us to be together. I don't want to force you into anything but for the baby's sake it's maybe for the best if you started living with me again" he suggested carefully and I sighed and rubbed my neck I kept my mouth for a few seconds just to think it through.
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"Okay" Harry's head flew up and he stared at me with his mouth wide open and I almost had to giggle at him but I kept my face straight. "Under a few conditions, if that's alright?" I asked him and he nodded and waved his hands for me to continue so I took a deep breath and told him about my conditions "Alright I will live with you but I want my own bedroom and you can tell people we are together and expecting a baby but I want you to understand that we are not together in real life yet." I know I was sounding ridiculous because who was I kidding."Wait you said yet, does this mean you are considering?" He sounded hopeful.
"I am, but I'm not there yet but I know that this is for the best and it gives me protection from the outer world" I told him, he agreed with me. I also gave him hope. He was smiling out of pure happiness and somewhere I was just as happy that I finally took this step even though it was under pressure.
"But I want to sleep in my own bed for tonight if you don't mind. Tomorrow I will pack my stuff and when you say it's time I will come" I told him and He gave me this one thing and decided it was for the best to give me this last thing before we were forced together. "Alright love, I will make arrangements for you and I'm going to make your room ready so that you can move in in 2 days and thank you" he said and that's when he stood up and walked to my side of the desk. He pulled me out of the chair and hugged me.
"I promise you that everything will be fine, just wait and see" he told me softly in my ear. It send shivers down my spine. I quickly stepped out of his embrace and smiled at him. "I will be going now. I need to talk to modest and the lads" He told me and I smiled at him."What are you going to say to them?"
"Well they already know that you are pregnant and I'm going to tell them what you just told me and that they have to go along with this because the last thing I want is to screw things up." He stated and I nodded as we said our goodbyes. I called my dad and told him everything. "Sweetheart, are you sure you want to do this?" He asks me and it wasn't really but it was the best thing to do "No it's not exactly what I wanted but it's better this way"
"Do we have to find someone to replace you at work?"
"I haven't thought about that yet to be honest but maybe an assistant for in the pub and I will take care of everything behind the scenes?"
"That's an excellent idea dear, do you have someone in mind?"
"Yes I do actually, I was thinking of Rose, she is capable of so much and she really has a heart for the business and I know she could use the raise"
"That's settled then, plan the meeting and we will support your decision completely"
"Thank you dad"
"Are you sure you are going to be okay with Harry?"
"Yes I'm sure, he will take good care of me and our baby" I assured him. I walked into the pub again and saw that the doors were already closed and when I looked at the clock I was surprised that it was nearly 11pm and I felt suddenly really tired. What a day this was. I never imagined a craziness like this and all those paparazzi who where chasing me. It made me feel sick again and I just didn't understand why people would treat others so badly, why would you want that.
I can't say that I found it a respectful job, bothering people like that. Then the pub was packed for more then 2 hours. I had never worked as hard as today and my feet were literally killing me. Then I hadn't even said anything about me emotional ride with Harry and that one bothered me the most because I'd never thought that today would turn out with me moving back with him.
I know it was for the best and I'm coming to terms with it but it wasn't an easy decision. I wasn't ready to go back into a relationship with him and yes I was beginning to trust him again but to be forced to live with each other isn't something I had pictured but it was for our own protection and I was glad that he understood that it wasn't going to be easy and yes I gave him permission to talk about the baby and me and tell the world we were together but he had to be really patient.
I wasn't going to swoon into his arms just because he was treating me the way he should have when we were still together. I wasn't going to make that mistake again and I know what you are going to say, that I'm just afraid of getting hurt again and yes I'm afraid but isn't that normal and the fact that he is a pop star is not making it any easier but I'm willing to give him the chance to prove he wants me and no one else.
I was twirling his necklace between my fingers while I was thinking and I eventually said goodnight to my lovely colleagues and went upstairs. When I got into my apartment I looked around and the lonely feeling I had yesterday was still there but I did feel sad of leaving this. It maybe made me feel a bit lonely but it was still home and now I had to give up my freedom.
I took a seat on the couch and I just sat there looking around and I couldn't stop my tears, which I had contained for a big part of the day. I felt heartbroken and exhausted emotionally. It was time to leave this day behind me so I got up and showered before I got into bed and I turned on the telly, which was showing one of my favorite movies 'Pride&Prejudice', and I watched it till I fell into a peaceful slumber, only to be woken up by a horrible nightmare and I was out of breath and sweating.
I quickly turned on the light that was on my nightstand. That was just to crazy and I decided to call the one person I didn't really want to see but he was the only one who made me feel safe. "Sam?" I heard his sleepy voice and I regretted it immediately "I'm sorry for waking you" I said apologetic "It's alright Love, what's wrong?"
"I had a nightmare and I just don't want to be alone" I said sniffling, I was on the brink of crying again "I'm coming over." He hanged up the phone. I put on my robe and made tea for Harry. Not long after he had hung up the phone I heard my doorbell and I buzzed him in. He came walking to me and wrapped his strong arms around my waist and cuddled me tightly. He took me towards the kitchen were we drank our tea. "I'm sorry for making you come here" but he waved it off "It's okay, do you want to tell me what the nightmare was about?" I nodded as he took me with him towards the bed and we sat down. "I was being trampled by the paparazzi with our baby in my arms and you just walked away and let us die" I was now fully sobbing.
"It was just a nightmare love, I would never leave you or the baby and I will certainly never put you in a position were paparazzi can hurt you like that" He soothed me and it made me feel slightly better. I inhaled some oxygen and relaxed into his arms. "are you ready to sleep now?" he asked. I nodded and we laid down and again he wrapped his arms around me and not long after I heard his breathing slow down my eyes dropped as well.