"No! Fix it!"
"I'm not the inventor, you are."
"I can't deal with this!"
"Calm down. It's a simple feeling. Find a reason to hate him again."
"But how am I suppose to-"
"Someone is at the door."
"Camera, now!"
"Yes sir."
Dib again! Arg! All day he's been pestering me. In every class that I have with him, in all of those stupid passing periods and even during lunch. Stupid child. I've been able to avoid him in a crowd of people but now I can't. Ridiculous.
"Gir!"
"Yes sir!"
"Answer the door!"
"Okie dokie."
"Stop saying that!"
"Not gonna happen."
"I hate this miserable place."
The door opened up and I heard Gir day something but... no response.
To Gir.
"Zim!"
"Ah!! Sweet mother of the Carsolon people!"
"What? Is that an alien race?"
"What do you want, Insolent human?!"
"I have questions and I know that you've been avoiding me all day because you know it and don't want to answer any of it!"
One of the minor reasons.
"Should I activate the gnomes?"
"Whoa. Is that the computer?"
"Don't touch him."
"Yeah. Don't touch me."
"I thought the computer ran the whole house."
"This is a mobile version of him with up to sixteen Hours of power when he's away from the house."
"When he's not around, does the house shut down?"
"Of course not, idiot. It's main function is powered by the power grid."
"Wow, so cool."
"I thought you knew all of this?"
"I may have at some point. So are there more aliens on this planet?"
"Yeah. You can kind of tell but over half of the population on this planet are what you would consider to be aliens."
"I knew it!"
"I'm calling glorpsnot on that."
"Glorpsnot?"
"A Glorp is an alien who eats everything. Their planet constantly produces food for the glorps like it knows. It's both fascinating and discusting. Actually it might be related to the excretions of the creatures that keeps the planet well and flourishing."
"Gross."
"And I can't answer a whole lot. A lot of things are secret about this facility. And I don't want to be on the wrong side now that I am the last known irken here."
"I see. That explains some of your behavior change."
"Huh? Behavior change?"
"You seem a bit more depressed."
"What is this depressed thing you are referring to? What is the meaning of the word?"
"It's a deep sadness."
"I mean yes but not for the reason that you are thinking. Computer!"
"What now?"
"Pull up the air charts from this morning. The catalog from the mothership air supply."
"Of course."
"And nothing else!"
"Dammit."
"And don't you dare do anything Gir!"
"I like tacos."
"Mhmm."
"What are you going to show me?"
"How my whole existence is clindone dung."
"Huh?"
"Charts, sir."
"Thank you, computer. You see this pie chart here, Dib-dweeb?"
Two pie charts rested on the giant screen in the living room. One of the air and one of my blood.
"Yeah. What is it?"
"The blue one here is the air around my ship. Despite the fact that I don't have lungs like you do, I still take in oxygen to function. Now what sliver is oxygen?"
"Don't know. The biggest part there?"
"Wrong. The oxygen level is only at three percent. Not an issue, right? This miserable rock only has eight percent. The issue is what these three huge slices are."
"Okay."
"I already explained to you that we irkens are made in labs, right?"
"Yes."
"Turns out there is more control to this than I thought. The very air that I breathed at that ship had strong gases in it that made me easily manipulated by My Tallests. The gases there also made me small so I would be even more obedient. In time, the effect of the gas woar off. Thay is why I grew overnight."
"So your life was being crippled by your overlords who took advantage of the rest of you, correct."
"Indeed."
"How come it took so long to ware off?"
"Invaders are given or are around higher polluted air so that they stay faithful for longer. It can take years for it to ware off."
"How come that alien girl thing that I fought didn't-"
"She was... something else. She went through more training than I did. She was probably stunted by excessive exposure to the gas. As a result, she remained loyal to My Tallest and remained short."
"Ah. What about this facility?"
"like I stated, I can't talk much. Are your listening holes functioning properly? They protect the earth from unwanted guests. All aliens that live on this planet must be registered here. They are given certain requirements to follow and guidelines. Being the last known irken, I've had to tone down my behavior. Requested by them."
"That makes sense with your behavior change."
"You noticed a behavior change?"
"Duh. Besides your depression, your temper seems to have mild out, you don't seem to get angry anymore. You didn't even yell at that kid who ran into you in the hallway. And he did it three times."
"New kid? That kid was new?"
"Yeah."
"Hmm."
Everytime that kid ran into me, he glared at me. Now unless he is a form of alien, he shouldn't hate me. All Alien races hate the irken. For good reason, sure. But unless he's been attending school with me and I took one of his organs, he shouldn't hate me.
"What was this kid's name?"
"Clarence."
"Hmm. Computer!"
"Ah!"
"What now?"
"Call MiB. Now!"
"I can't."
"And why not?!"
"He's still here."
"Right. Gir, remove Dib Stink from the house."
"Yes, sir."
"B-But wait. Why do you- Whoa. You're one strong robot."
"New feature. Gir can now lift up to sixteen times his own weight."
"Impressive."
"Thank you. Come on. Master says out."
"But why does Clarence make you want to call MiB? Is everything okay? Should I be concerned? Do you need any help? I don't-"
His words were suddenly silenced as Gir put him outside and came back moments later, that stupid smile on his metal face.
"Computer."
"Right. Calling MiB."
"Great."
Three rings later and my assigned agent took up the screen.
"Hello Zim."
"Hello Agent 234. I'm afraid we have a problem.
"Are you calling to inform us of that new Clarence kid?"
"Yeah. Who told you?"
"Keef called."
"Ah."
"He said that he could feel the aggression eminating from the creature. Especially when he was close to you."
"Mhmm. What kind of Alien is Keef?"
"You'll find out later. This Clarence fellow, do you think he is another irken seeking refuge?"
"I highly doubt it. And you better hope that doesn't happen. When enough irkens get together, they get this conquer complex. We would feel like we have to take over this miserable rock."
"You can't do that. What about your-"
"Crush. Yeah my crush lives here, I know. I wouldn't want to take over the planet for the fear of scaring him off or something. I'm just letting you know the situation of it all."
"I see. Well, we'll let you know what we find out. I'll see you next week."
"Uh-huh."
Ugh, it's been a long day.
"Gir!"
"Yes sir."
"I'll be in my lair if you need me. Don't disturb me. And open the door for no one!"
"Okie Dokie."
I hate it when he says that.