Sunset was walking down the snow-covered street when she spotted a pair of boxy headlights, not unlike those used by some cars of the 1980s, going down the street, so she jumped out in front of it.
She had no hopes for Christmas after Anon-a-miss, so she thought she'd make everyone's lives better.
Maybe she'd get hit and killed.
Meanwhile in the station wagon/RV, cousins Seth and Autumn Blaze were singing to a Christmas song they had put to the tune of the East German National Anthem, Seth driving.
From our slumber, we've awoken; Christ-mas-time, this glo-rious morn'; To the hol-i-day we wel-come; Let us be al-to-gether! May your joy, be spread, to a-all; On this won-derful day!; For our fam'-i-lies' ha-ppi-ness; Share your joy to all people; On this Christ-mas morn!; On this Christ-mas mo-
"SETH STOP!!!!!!!!"
Seth slammed on the breaks, but they didn't work, causing him to have to swerve around the person.
"Jesus Harold Christ!!" he said, yanking up the emergency brake, causing the vehicle to skid to a stop.
"It's in your line to slam on the brakes!"
"I did," he looked and saw that he missed the pedal entirely, "How did my huge foot miss that?"
["Let's try that again in a little bit, okay?"]
"Yeah!" Autumn said, turning to Seth, "Hell if I know, it's your huge foot."
"Where are you going?" Sunset said as Autumn put her in the car's front seat with her and her cousin.
"Home," Autumn responded as Seth attempted to start the car again, "Where we have food and heat and COZY!"
"You don't even know me!" Sunset yelled, as Seth struggled to get it to start.
"...Start...!" he said, before looking to the gas gauge, "Crap," he rolled down the window, "Does anyone onset have gas and two-stroke oil? I don't have an injector, yet!"
Sunset and Autumn laughed and checked their phones, Seth joining in a moment later.
["Oh, Christ."]
"Where are you going?" Sunset said as Autumn put her in the car's front seat with her and her cousin.
"Home," Autumn responded as Seth started the car again, "Where we have food and heat and COZY!"
"You don't even know me!" Sunset yelled, but was overwhelmed by the engine's loud roar.
"Sorry!" Seth said, revving the engine to get it to warm faster then going blank.
"Care to tell us why it's so loud?" Autumn said after a minute.
"I forget."
Autumn handed him a sheet of paper, "Read this."
"Soviet cars of the '80s need to warm up first, and two-stroke engines are the loudest! In '95, they swapped over to modern engines, but I don't like the new Soviet cars. Or new cars in general. I'm more the retro-type!"
At Best Buy, Seth was surprised that they had everything he wanted to get Sunset: a HP Elite x3 set and some studio-quality headphones.
"$2,000 even," the cashier said, boxing the stuff up, "Last minute Christmas?"
"Yeah, and one more thing," Seth replied, searching his jacket for something before facing offset, "Autumn, you got my wallet! I need it back for the Best Buy thing!"
["Oh Lord."]
She'll love these!!
"$93.95," the cashier said, "Thank you for shopping at Old Navy," she locked up, moved her eyes down and to the right, then her and Autumn bent over in a laugh attack.
["It's Ross."]
"Hello, I am the cashier at Ross Clothing," Autumn said, "I work here five days a week for the past six-and-a-half years, there are signs everywhere with our store's name on them, so thank you for shopping at OLD NAVY!"
["My God!" someone said as a few people laughed.]
"Home free," Seth whispered as they went in and closed the door as quietly as possible, "Are we going to wrap yours?"
"No. It's almost 2:30 in the morning and I'm tired."
"Let's just set them next to the tree."
Autumn nodded in agreement as both set their gifts down and went to bed.
The television had since changed from the Soviet Christmas Music to a blue, contemporary-style analog clock with no audio and captioned with Aktuelle Kamera, which caught Seth's eye.
"Mind telling me why it says 'Current Camera' in German instead of 'Merry Christmas' in German?" he said to the crew, rather annoyed.
["Sorry," a guy said, changing the text, "Now we can do it over."]
"Just don't screw it up again."
The next morning, Sunset awoke to the sound of someone playing piano music and a blizzard just outside.
Wait, Sunset thought, Outside?
"Oh, my song, song of a maiden's true love,
To my dear one travel with the Sun.
To the one with whom Katusha knew love,
Bring my greetings to him, one by one. "
"You sound just like a Soviet, Seth!"
"Spasibo."
"Guys," Sunset said from the top of the stairs, getting their attention, "As much as I like hearing you play that song, nopony knows what it is.
Seth and Autumn came up the stairs and caught Sunset dead in her tracks.
"Breakfast?" Autumn asked but was cut off by Sunset, "or-?"
"Race ya to the kitchen!"