Aubrey
I sat on the bed furious. How dare he?! First he just kisses me like he has the right, and then yells at me! Does he not get that everything he said last night hurt me! Then he locks me in here with a freaking prison guard at the door. I was in there for almost three hours before the door opened. I looked up to see him. I glared at him. He ignored me and took his shirt off and then walked over to the bed. I forced myself to ignore the abs and tattoos.
"I want my own room." I demanded. He let out a loud sigh.
"No."
"Yes!"
"I said no!" He raised his voice. "You are staying with me, get used to it."
"No! Not after last night. Not after everything you said."
"Look, last night...I was drunk I had just gotten into a fight. Get over it. I was just in a bad mood."
"Let me stay with Clutch then." He whipped around.
"What the fuck did you just say!" He yelled but I was too angry to care. "You are never staying with any of the others ever again! Do you understand!"
"You don't own me!" I yelled back. "You hurt me! The things you said... and then you kiss me and start yelling again." He ran his hands over his face. "You said you didn't care, so let me go. Let me take my chances."
"I'm sorry okay!" He yelled. I stopped. He let out a deep breath. "I didn't mean it. This... you...you come out of nowhere, and so suddenly... Then you were in danger and I had to protect you. Not because I didn't want the blame but because when he threatened you I snapped. I don't know why I give a shit what happens to you, but I do, and I get that you hate me, everyone does, but you are not leaving. You are staying here. I need you safe. I don't understand why and it frustrates the hell out of me. Maybe it is because you treat me different, maybe you just fascinate me, maybe I'm fucking losing it but until I know you are safe, you are staying!" When he finished he looked at me daring me to refuse. I leaned up on my knees.
"Well I care about you!" He looked taken back like he wasn't expecting it. "I do and I don't care if you know it. The day you came to the shop alone and we talked I knew you could easily be someone I cared for. You were easy to talk to, you were an ass, but you amused me. The day I woke up here after being attacked and saw you, I felt safer then I ever had. I trusted you no matter what everyone said about you. Even after you hurt me, I still trusted you. And I don't hate you, I was hurt. I never wanted to seem like a burden to you. You confused me, you want to protect me, but then you say I frustrate you. I don't know what to do here! I tried to give you space but nothing I did was right! What do you want me to do?!" He sighed moving closer to me and taking my face in his hands.
"Stay here with me." He whispered. "I know I am probably the hardest person to get along with but I don't want you to leave."
"Can you just not keep saying you don't care about me in front of me at least?" His forehead creased.
"I won't say it anymore."
The next day was better. He didn't act like I was a bother, he actually stayed pretty close to me during the day. I didn't have work so Xavier ended up driving me to my apartment to get some real clothes. We didn't take the bike though, he also had a sports car in the small garage beside his house.
On the way up to my floor, we passed Mrs. Betty who gasped seeing Xavier and dropped her groceries. I stopped and bent over to help her get her things. She bent down and quietly whispered.
"Do you need me to call someone, dear?" Glancing over at Xavier who was standing to the side waiting.
"It's okay." I finished helping her and went back over to Xavier. He gave me a look. "What?"
"Must you help every single person you see?"
"You scared her." I said as I continued walking to my door. When I got there, I froze.
"What is it?" He looked around me and saw the door was already open. He pulled me behind him and pushed open the door. He glanced around and slowly walked in, I couldn't see it but his hand looked like it was covering his gun. He checked the living room then looked back at me. 'Stay here." I nodded while he looked around the rest of the house.
"All good. Get all your clothes." I nodded and went to my room to start packing.
I heard him on the phone in the other room. He sounded angry but not at who he was talking too. It must have been one of the guys. I could hear him pacing so I was rushing to get my stuff so we could leave. I was trying to stay calm but the thought of them being in my apartment made me feel sick. I heard the floor squeak behind me I spun around to see Xavier standing in the doorway.
"Sorry," He muttered.
"It's fine. So I guess Clutch was right about not coming here last night." He sighed.
"I'm sorry"
"What?"
"For the other night, if he wouldn't have been there to stop you..." He stopped looking aggravated.
"We don't know when this happened. It may have been the same night that they attacked me. It may have been this morning." He didn't say anything to that just looked at the floor. After a moment he shook his head.
"Make sure you get any toiletries and stuff." He turned and went back to the living room. I finished packing and hauled my suitcases into the front.
''Ready." He got up and grabbed both my bags and waited for me to walk out. "Xavier?"
"Yeah?"
"Why do they hate you so much?" He didn't answer me for a minute. He waited till we got to the car.
"You know the stories, Angel. I'm sure you can put it together." He responded tossing the bags in the trunk.
"I know why you hate them but what did you do to them?" I asked getting into the car.
"I guess he was raised to."
"No," He looked at me with a raised eyebrow.
"No?"
"No, you did something, after what they did. I may not know you that well but I know you wouldn't over look that." I saw his jaw flex and his hand tightened around the steering wheel.
"I have never gotten revenge for what they did." He said through clenched teeth.
"That's because you never can. I know you must have tried but it will never change what they did."
"You have no idea how true that is, so don't you dare tell me I should forgive them and move on." He said glaring out the window.
"So what did you do?" I asked going back to my original question.
"Why does it matter?" He asked sounding exasperated.
"I want to know." I said being pushy. "Everyone is so afraid of you, there has to be a reason more than just you looking intimidating."
"You want to know everything I've done? I'm not telling you get over it." He said in a tone that sounded like he was planning on ending the discussion but I wouldn't let him.
"Why won't you tell me?" I demanded.
"Because"
"Because what?"
"Because I don't want you to look at me like they do!" He all but screamed. "A few weeks ago I would have told you every single thing I had ever done to get you to fear me like them, but when I saw you look at me like they did that night," He sighed. "That night I hurt you, I don't want you to see me like that."
"I don't see you like they do, Xavier."
"But you would." I thought about what he said for a minute.
"Do you regret anything you have done?"
"No"
"Really?" I asked not believing him. He glanced over at me.
"Angel, you assume everyone is being dramatic when they talk about me but the truth is there isn't a thing they can make up I haven't done. You see me different because I have treated you different from the moment we met. But they aren't crazy and they have a reason for keeping their distance."
"They say you care about nothing. That you don't feel." I said trying to prove my point.
"Yes,"
"If you didn't feel you would have let them kill me. You wouldn't have so many people around that care for you. You wouldn't care if I feared you."
"They fear me."
"What?"
"The people around me, you mean the guys. They fear me. They are around for the power they feel with being able to do whatever the hell they want."
"That's not completely true. Chase, Clutch, Eric, Blade, Rose, they care about you." He didn't answer to that. "And me, I care about you." He looked at me for a moment before his eyes slightly darkened.
"I was numb." He started. "Before I met you, I was numb. It was easy, I liked it that way. I worked very hard for a long time to be that way and just a few moments with you ruined all of that. You aggravate the hell out of me, you make me feel guilt, and you mess with my head. Yes, I regret hurting you but no I have no other regrets when it comes to what I have done. I'm not going to lie, of course I have some feelings but they have always been mostly anger. That's why I want to push you away. I don't like feelings, if I have learned anything it's that they make you weak."
"Are you planning on pushing me away when this is all over?" He looked away from me and his jaw clenched again giving me my answer. "Oh," I said feeling my heart drop. I didn't bother saying anymore to him. My eyes burned at the thought of him telling me to leave again one day. I don't know why it bothered me so bad, I mean I guess it made since after everything that had happened, for us to part ways but I didn't like it. Before I knew it he was pulling into his driveway. He shut off the car and sighed.
"Aubrey," I didn't look over at him. "You deserve better than me."
"So we can't be friends?" I asked softly.
"Come on Aubrey, you aren't stupid. You know you are different to me. Hell, everyone knows. Even as much as I hate to admit it, I do have feeling for you. All the guys are even calling you mine. I hear them talk, even though they think otherwise. Do you really believe that wouldn't escalate? People in town would look at you different eventually. Men would never go near you in fear of me. People wouldn't let their kids run and hug you like now. Your life wouldn't be normal. You don't deserve that. You don't want that. And you don't want me. You can not trust me and deep down you have to know that. I have hurt you already. Do you really want to risk it? Do you not see I'm not safe, Aubrey!"
"You really don't want to ever see me after this?" I whispered not trusting my voice. He lifted my face.
"I never said that. It has nothing to do with what I want."
"But I thought you always got what you want." I reminded him. He looked over my face and ran his thumb over my check.
"I'm trying to do something right for once in my life, Angel."