Luke
After sitting there, thinking about how lucky that girl is and how unlucky I am, I decided to just go to sleep that night, and when I woke up the next morning, I felt even worse about myself.
"Luke," Ashton said, straddling my shoulders over and over again to wake me up, and I could barely even see him until I was fully awake. My breath hitched and I sat up quickly, trying to push him away in a friendly way.
"Are you okay?" He exclaimed, looking at me with concerned eyes. I gave him a confused expression and he only sighed, pointing to my cheeks. He gave me a sad smile and I furrowed my eyebrows before walking into the bathroom to look into the mirror.
Fuck. You can tell I cried myself to sleep. "Oh, its nothing, really, I'm fine Ash," I retorted, blinking multiple times to try to show it wasn't obvious that I cried again. "Are you sure? You don't look okay."
"I'm fine," I snapped, sighing while sitting on my bed, "Did you sleep well?" He nodded and gave me his full of joy smile that he always has and retorted, "Yes, I had a dream that Jenny and I became a thing and we went on this cute date and I don't even know why I was dreaming about her but it was great."
I rolled my eyes at him talking about Jenny, he sounded so in love but he doesn't even know her and she doesn't know him like I do. Luckily, he didn't see my expression and he just shook his head, resting his hand on my thigh.
"Anyways," He sighed, sadness clearly in his voice, "Michael and Calum wanted to hang with me today but I told them I'd only go if they invite you."
I never understood why Calum and Michael didn't like me. They don't hate me but I'm not exactly their favorite person to see, either. I know because every time I was with them, I wouldn't speak even if they tried to get me to.
"Oh, cool," I replied, looking out of my window and moving towards the corner of the bed where the walls were. He pouted and gave me puppy dog eyes, and retorted, "Please Lukey? I really want to hang with them but it won't be fun without you," and with him being the adorable little shit he is, I couldn't say no.
"Thank you! I love you so much," He smiled, pulling me into a hug. "No you don't," I replied, my voice cracking slightly. Ashton pulled away and scratched the back of his neck, showing confusion in his eyes.
"Nothing, Ash, don't worry about it." He just shrugged and walked away, leaving me there to cradle my face into my knees and rock back and fourth.
Its okay Luke, its okay.
-
"Ready?" Ashton questioned, standing at the door with my car keys in his hands. "Ready," I confirmed, grabbing my jacket off of the hook and joining him by the door.
After locking it, we walked to the car and he made the decision of driving since I seem too down in the dumps to focus on the road. He's not wrong though. I am upset, but not for the reason he believes anyway.
Ashton put the key in the ignition and we drove off, heading wherever Michael and Calum told him to meet them. I wasn't looking forward to this but I'll do anything if it makes Ashton happy.
"We are here," Ashton said, flipping down the car mirror to check and see if his hair was okay. I growled and got out of the car, heading towards the place we stopped at, called 'Bath and Body Works'.
Secretly, I was happy about going here. Ashton told me that this place was too girly to be seen at, so I just agreed with him but I never admitted that I liked it. It always smells amazing in there with their lotions, body sprays, perfumes, candles and cologne's.
I may or may not know every single scent in that shop.
Ashton and I walked towards the entrance and we immediately saw Michael and Calum, standing next to the cup of coffee grinds on the sink. Ashton sighed then scattered towards them and I only followed behind, placing one of my headphones inside of my ear.
"You came," Michael stated, smiling and Calum looked just as excited when seeing Ashton but of course, they weren't too pleased about seeing me. "Oh hi."
I didn't reply, not because I wanted to be rude but because I simply don't want to. Talking to people isn't my thing, I guess. Ashton has been the only one that I could easily talk to, but then again, its probably because I love him.
"Why are you here?" Ashton whispered to the two of them quietly which I heard clearly and I assume a few others did too. "My mum asked if I could pick up a few things from here so I figured it'd be easier to just have you meet us here," Michael shrugged.
Thank you Michael for choosing this place because now I can go look around and keep myself busy while you three complain about how "disgusting" it is in here.
"I'm going to go to the bathroom," I said directly to Ashton, leaving after he nodded and I only smirked once I reached the other side of the room where they couldn't see me.
I scanned the area and started smelling the new products they added in and if its possible to get high off of the smell then I'd be extremely high right now.
I continued to smell for what felt like hours, even if woman were looking at me strange. "Luke?" I looked up and I saw Calum standing there with cocked up eyebrows, "Why are you smelling everything?"
I shrugged, and replied, "What, a guy can't smell something nice in his life?" His eyes widened, probably shocked that I actually said something, "Wow you actually spoke to me for once."
"I guess," I replied, turning away, "Oh and don't tell Ashton about this, okay?" He just nodded slowly, probably still confused about what happened.
After that awkward encounter, I followed Calum and soon enough we ended up walking out of the store and into another. I didn't even bother looking at the name this time because I honestly just want to go home and cuddle with my blankets since Ashton never cuddles with me anymore.
Michael and Ashton were both jamming out to some song playing on the speakers and I chuckled when his bandana fell off of his head and onto the floor. "Hey Ash, I think I'm gonna go home," I shouted over the music and I earned yet another confused expression from him.
"What?"
I walked out of the store and sat on the edge of the curve, and waited there impatiently for ages. A man dressed in old blue ripped jeans and a torn up grey sweater came up to me and sat down, out of nowhere. I looked at him with intimidation and sighed. "You look like you could use one," He said, handing me a box of cigarettes.
Never once in my life have I smoked but maybe this one time I should. I let out a fake and fearful laugh, then took a cigarette out of the pouch. He handed me the lighter and I hesitated at first, but grabbed it anyway and lit the tip of the cigarette.
Once I lit it and smoked my very first cigarette, I felt this bit of pain lift off of my chest and I was actually happy again, without thinking about Ashton or having to worry about anything for a while. It was great.
"Well, I have to get going because I'm going to go buy some weed so I'll see you around, bud." He walked off and I gave him a friendly smile before finishing off my cigarette.
Ashton, Michael and Calum all walked out and Ashton dropped one of his bags on the cement. "Luke put that down!" He knocked the final remains of my cigarette down and I hissed, standing up.
"Come on, I'm taking you home."
Ashton gave the boys an apologetic look and once we got in the car, I was knocked out, into my sleep, dreaming about nothing.
-
"Luke? Luke!"
I looked up and saw a blurry Ashton standing in front of me, waving his hand over my face. "Dammit, answer me."
I blinked a few times before processing what was happening and I looked up and saw that there was a wash cloth laying on top of my head.
"Luke, why were you smoking? You know I'm against it!" I didn't answer him, I just felt like passing out again. He sighed and walked away stomping his feet. All I could see was that he sat down in the chair across from me and got on his phone probably to distract himself.
"I'll be back," He said, standing up from the chair and heading towards the door. "Okay," I mumbled, leaning back against the couch. The door slammed and I sat up, rubbing my eyes, feeling nausea and tired.
I could still hear the words, I love you in my head even though I shouldn't, but its happening since this is starting to wary. I love you is just tossed around like it doesn't have a meaning, but to me love was just a word until he gave it a definition.