If I thought things couldn't get any more complicated, I was definitely wrong. I just wanted to believe that things couldn't get anymore tangled and knotted.
The meeting with Rainey and my parents didn't go as planned. He was awkward, uncomfortable and was just outright rude. He barely spoke to my parents. He wouldn't have much to do with July. I don't know what had gotten into him. I could deal with him acting the way he was acting towards me, but my parents, July. I can't deal with him just being a jerk. Up until this point everything had been perfectly fine.
All he wanted to do was talk about himself and all the things that he has done without July in his life. It really putting me off as each work came out of his mouth. It would have been fine for him to talk about his life but it was just the way he went on and on about how great his life was.
As you may have guessed that night ended in a huge fight.
I pulled him outside immediately after dinner.
"What the hell is your problem?"
"What do you mean my problem?" he snapped back.
" First off you have completely ignored July, then you were rude to my parents." I was so mad, but I was also very confused. I couldn't understand his actions.
He got so close to me it made me uncomfortable, and before I knew it he was kissing me. I first I was so shocked I didn't move away, but the moment my sense came back I pushed him away. Then I knew exactly what was going on. I don't know how I didn't notice it before, but it was very clear the moment I realized he smelled like a brewery.
"What was that kiss about? Are you drunk?" I wasn't really sure why I asked because I knew by his actions that he was definitely drunk.
He didn't even speak. I guess it was because he knew that there was no reason to. I on the other hand had a lot to say.
"Drunk? Really Rainey? I invite you over to meet my parents. I would have hoped you would have had enough sense to know better than to come here drunk? This is a big deal. How do you think that July felt when you were ignoring her. I trusted you to act like an adult and come here and be civil. That was the least you could have done, even if you didn't want to be here then you could have at least faked it. I know that you care about July, I've seen the way you look at her. I even thought you might have already fallen in love with her, but you didn't show that tonight with your actions. You've really screwed up Rainey."
He looked almost overwhelmed, but I didn't feel sorry for him, not the least little bit.
I turned to walk away. "Melonie stop! I know I screwed up. It just hit me like a ton of bricks. I have a kid, I have a freaking kid. Not only do I have a kid but I have a kid that I don't know, a kid that I've missed the first five years of her life. Now, all of a sudden I'm meeting your parents. I've never gone to meet a girl's parents and we aren't even in a relationship. How do you think I feel right now. Your right, I do love July, and you know what I got scared. When I'm around you, I feel some of what we had that summer, I don't know what if it is because of July or what. Don't you think I know what is going on with Maddy? And most of all what happens when summer is over? When we go back to our real lives? We don't live in the same town, we lead totally different lives."
I wasn't really sure what to say, I had to gather my thoughts.There were so many things we needed to say to one another, but now was not the time or the place.
"Rainey, I understand what your saying. Thre are things that are really important that we need to talk about, but I'm not going to have this conversation with you when your drunk. I just can't believe you'd do this. Now I have to go in and try and smooth things over with my parents and most importantly July. I don't like to lie to her, but I'm going to tell her you weren't feeling well. I can't tell her that her dad showed up drunk."
He nodded his head. I looked really deep into his eyes, he looked like a scared little boy but that was no excuse for showing up drunk.
"I'm sorry about tonight Melonie, I really am. Sorry about everything. It won't happen again, I promise you that." With that he turned and walked away.
That was three days ago. Since then he hasn't been by, but his mom has come to picked up July every day for a few hours. I know that July is spending time with her dad, because she comes back from her visits and talks about all the things they have been doing together.
Today when Gigi came to pick of July she explained to me that Rainey was really embarrassed because of his actions and that he just needed a little time.
I really did understand that he was emabarressed, because in all honesty he should be. The way he treated July and my parents. Plus the fact that he kissed me was really inappropriate. I felt really bad about it even though I had done nothing wrong. I wasn't really sure why he needed a little tme, but as long as he was spending time with July that was all that really mattered.
Just like I hadn't seen Rainey, Maddy has been no where to be found. Even though I haven't seen Maddy, he had been texting me on and off all day long. We had normal casual conversations. I was too afraid to ask him why he hadn't come by in three days. I was pretty sure that I wouldn't like the answer. Or, maybe I was being paranoid and he is just trying to spend as much time with Titus as he could. The thing about him spending time with Titus means that he is also spending time with Annika. Just like July and I are a packaged deal, so is Titus and Annika.
Sometimes I just wanted to pull my hair out at the mess that I had got myself into.
While July had been spending time with Rainey and his family, I had been spending a lot of much needed family time with my mom and dad. We hadn't spent that this kind of time since together since before July. We spent time on the boat, had nice lunches and we just spent good quality time together. I told them about everything that had happened with Rainey and all my feelings about what was going on. I was honest with them about what happened with Rainey the night we had dinner. I told him about how mad I was but surprisingly they weren't really mad. They said that the situation had to be stressful and even though it wasn't the right thing to do, they understood why he did it.
I also told them about Maddy. They weren't really surprised about what I had to say about him. They didn't really have much to say other than do what makes me happy and be careful with your actions. I knew what they meant by that. I mean after all I was the one who got pregnant at sixteen. I'm sure they wish they would have told me that before now.
I had absolutely loved all the time I had been spending with my parents. They understand when I told them I needed to go for walk and clear my head. They headed into town for shopping and I headed for open path for a walk through the woods. It was the same path that I first met Maddy. As I neared the the bridge I heard a familar sound of the guitar playing. Sitting the bridge just as he was the day we met. Maddy was sitting with his back to me. I slowly approached not wanting him to know that I was near. While he playing his guitar he began to sing. I could hear his words clearly.
Why can't my life be a fairy tale
Why do things seem to be so hard
Why do things have to be so complicated
Why oh why oh why
Your face is like a ray of sunshine
I just can't look away
Why does this have to be so hard
I want to live like we're in another place
Another time
Where the grass greener
Where the sky bluer
Where we dont' have to be so complicated
I tried to stay very quiet and still but knowing me I started to loose my balance and when I did my foot came down and a branch broke. The noise caused Maddy to stop playing and quickly turn around. When he saw me he instantly had a smile on his face, which of course caused me to smile as well.
He stood up and pulled me into a hug. " Fancy meeting you here."
"You know every time I come out here to clear my head" I made air quotes " I seem to run into you."
"Is that a bad thing?"
I just shook my head and smiled and he just kept talking.
"It seems as though I have not seen you in ages."
"Well it has been three days."
"You keeping track or something." When he said this I instantly turned red. The fact that I had been counting the days mortified me.
I turned my head so I was facing away from him to try and hide the embarrassment.
He kissed my cheek and then my neck, "I've been counting the days too. Sorry I haven't been around. Titus and I have been having a blast.."
I craned my head to look at him and words left my mouth that really surprised me. " What about Annika?" I kept looking at him but I quickly closed my mouth hoping to retract the words.
He raised on eyebrow and chuckled a little. " You jealous of Annika?"
I quickly shook my head and kept a straight face.
He brushed some hair back that had fallen into my eyes when I shaking my head. "Annika went three days ago to stay with some of her friends from college who are also in the area."
I guessed that I had been biting the inside of my mouth because it was starting to hurting. I stopped when he gently toughed his lips to mine.
At first I didn't respond but he kept gently touching his lips to mine, and then I gave in. I kissed him deeply. He rain his fingers through my hair with one hand and caressed my back with the other. I was very into the kiss, and then instantly felt bad. There were things I needed to tell him.
I pulled away. " We need to talk."