Theo's P.O.V
I stare into the young bunny's eyes, catching shimmering reflections of myself in his wide curious eyes. I open my hands and step a little closer, moving in the least threatening way I could.
"Come here, Blazey," I whisper but that only makes the bunny stiffen before dashing under the bed, curling into the corner my hands couldn't reach.
It'd been his little home ever since I came forth and his owner went into hiding deep within the both of us.
Somehow the fluffy ball knew that I wasn't his owner, that I wasn't Damon. He avoided me at all costs unless I was feeding him, then all of a sudden he didn't mind my presence. But for the most part, he'd stare at me from across the small apartment, as if trying to understand how the guy he was looking at wasn't quite his owner.
Perhaps he sensed the wolf in me.
I think your pet misses you - I call out to Damon, hoping that the mention of his favorite animal would make that little flicker grow a little brighter.
But it doesn't.
As it hadn't for the past week, he hadn't said a word or come forth the way he should. He kept himself hidden within us locked himself into a hole deeper than I had the means to pull him from. The small pulsing buzz that felt like a ray of sunshine on my heart was the only sign of him, the only sign that he hadn't completely fractured under the unfortunate events.
Damon didn't deserve this.
He didn't deserve any of this, he was a good kid. He was caring, he showed that every day through his actions though they often went unnoticed because of the character he portrayed instead of the phenomenal man he'd grown to be. He had a heart that barely fit inside his chest, with so much love that'd been slowly snuffed out over the years.
The violence, it'd become a wrecking force that yearned to make him something dark and unworthy. It wasn't who he was, not truly. He'd just been nurturing it more than any wolf should have, especially an alpha wolf. It didn't help that he'd grown up learning that violence equated to strength, a strength that'd help him protect those he cherished. Because that was all Damon ever wanted to do, protect them, though it didn't often translate in the manner it should've.
Now he was floating in above a deep, oceanic trench that threatened to swallow him whole. Dangling on a thin thread between becoming the person I knew he truly wanted to be and the one he was groomed to be, the one he'd learned to be. It was harder for him each day and my aid could only go so far, it was a battle he'd have to fight on his own.
William made that fight easier, essentially effortless with his presence.
When Damon was with William, he didn't feel those pieces of himself that made everything seem so dark all the time, he was light with joy. William made him better and not only Damon but myself as well. With Will, I knew he'd love me one day in the manner I already loved him. If he gave us the chance, I knew we could grow a beautiful relationship that would fit both of us.
That is, of course, if he took us back.
I sigh angrily at the way things had unraveled at such a speed, leaving us both flayed open to feel the raw agony of being so distant from our mate. Things were going so well, so incredibly well, too well I suppose because when it crashed and broke I couldn't stop it. Not with the news of our family back home, the anxiety of not knowing their state adding to the turmoil.
Now things hurt from all sides and I only had a bunny who didn't like me to fend it off.
Keeping the anger down took its toll, every minute of every day I strained to control it. The need to hurt and make the emotional pain flow into a physical one was overwhelming, merciless with its demands and it weighed down on me. But I'd bare it for Damon, knowing he couldn't hold much more before it took him down.
Perhaps you'd feel better with a run - I try once more, knowing he always felt happier when he was on all fours. Being a wolf was probably the best gift I could offer Damon, and I was forever grateful to Goddess that I could give that to him.
Silence follows.
It worried me immensely that Damon wasn't responding, knowing that both emotional and physical pain that stemmed from great sources of pain could send a wolf spiraling into a deep abyss. Damon was barely hanging on before William, the loss of him was too much but I needed him to see it wasn't completely the end.
William hadn't rejected us, not entirely. He'd asked for time and space, he'd said that he needed time. I didn't like it, I hated it and hated that he'd even suggest such a thing, but I understood it. From what I'd observed of William, he didn't seem to open up to many people and seemed to trust even fewer, yet with Damon, he'd stepped out from his fortress and ran to Damon without precaution.
I believe when his brain finally caught up to his heart, it scared him. The day we let him go on his own, probably only furthering and solidifying his already developing qualms. He was human, after all, he didn't know I existed, didn't know what we truly were, couldn't appreciate his feelings because he couldn't possibly recognize the mate bond.
It was just fucked on all sides.
I try to distract myself from the loneliness and worries by cleaning up the apartment, it didn't matter that I cleaned yesterday, things got dirty overnight. I wiped the spotless countertops and swept the dustless floor, scrubbed the shining bathtub and rearranged the soaps on three separate occasions.
Hearing the elevator ding, I scrambled from the bathroom to try to talk to William, but by the time I'd managed to open my door, his was already shutting against me. Damon's light only flickered away at the avoidance, leaving me further in his swirling darkness.
I release a shaky breath as all the hope seeps from my veins, I shut the door once more and make my way to the bed, slumping into it as my own frustrations rose to the surface.
I hadn't laid eyes on William, not properly since I'd taken over. He'd avoided us at all turns and made it clear that when he said space, he meant it. I'd passed by his place of work on multiple occasions, hoping to see him, but I'd only caught a few glimpses before his boss would come out and chase me away with a broom.
I'd stopped going after that.
Anger threatened to spill its way over me as the worst parts of me casted the blame for all of this onto Damon. After all, it was he who'd hurt William wasn't it, it was he who let go of his hand when he knew just how important and valuable that connection to him was it. It was because of him that my mate hated me before he even knew who I was.
I cast those haunting thoughts away, setting them to flames immediately before they could fester any further and create a drift between us. I needed Damon and he needed me, I wouldn't dream of letting our relationship crumble and leave us both more damaged than we knew what to do with.
I loved Damon and I wouldn't let him down.
---
I think enough time has passed that attempting a conversation will be better received now - I say to Damon a few days later, receiving only a small hum as a form of an acknowledgment as a response.
He'd crawled slowly from his hiding place, slowly coming further out to see what he'd left behind in his need to lick his wounds. Now he was humming, which was more than I could ask for and I made sure to try to engage him in as much conversation as I possibly could. It worked because now I could feel him practically looking over my shoulder as I cooked dinner.
Well tried, I was never much of a cook, to begin with.
Perhaps, if you're not ready to face him, a letter would do - I suggest but quickly get the hum that I'd come to recognize as a no. Well, I don't see you making many suggestions about how to fix this.
Silence.
It's okay Damon, he'll come around, you just have to be patient with him and yourself - I encourage after a moment, eyebrows pulling as I try to salvage my eggs that were somehow bubbling and burnt at the same time.
You can only carry so much, only try to please so many and fix so much. You're barely an adult and you've already taken so much on, don't blame yourself so much when things don't go to plan, mistakes and mishaps are natural. It's how you deal with them that really matters.
Damon hums once more after a moment, his spirit growing stronger and glowing brighter with my words of encouragement. I smile happily at his reaction, but it quickly fades with the complete cluster fuck that was supposed to be my breakfast.
Wolves weren't meant to cook, I was set up to fail before I even began.
After I scuff down my disgusting breakfast, the rest of the day flows without much for noticing. The rage that had once plagued us, easing its way into the background as I kept a tight fist around it, letting Damon regain his footing with its overbearing presence slowly retreating.
I read through the many messages that seemed to grow in number after Damon's call home to Julian, all asking to receive a similar outstretched hand.
I didn't reply, knowing I'd cave to all my brothers and sisters if I heard from them. I missed Xena greatly and knew the minute we see each other again, she'd try to rip my hair from my scalp. My worry for Joseph didn't ease even with Mekhi's promise to look out for Peter to Damon, without being able to check up on him myself.
(A.N - Xena is Josey's wolf and Joseph is Peter's)
Damon, I'm going to make a call - I say slowly, testing the waters while being careful with my words. I'd like it if you gave us some privacy.
Damon faded without protesting making my chest soar with pride, no matter what anyone said about Damon, he was truly loyal. I think I loved him so much because he resembled more a wolf than a human-like he should. He was the human component and I was the wolf, yet sometimes I wondered if Goddess made a mistake and if things were supposed to be the other way around.
It didn't matter, either way, Damon was still the best lifetime friend I could ask for.
I open up the text box, fingers halting for a single moment as I try to find the best way to write the following message. My heart soars within my chest, straining against my muscles as anxiety and longing begin to cripple me, tearing at my lungs with every attempted breath.
Me - This is Theo, Damon is doing well but he's given me control. I'd like to talk to Max if that's okay with you.
I didn't need to tell Aiden exactly why I had control, he didn't need to know Damon's state right now, not with the immense guilt and sadness he was probably feeling without Damon.
I jump a little when the phone screen lights up only moments later with a call from The Original Shitbag, I immediately answer it, holding the phone in my trembling grasp before raising it to my ear, chest-thumping rapidly as I wait.
"Theo," Dad says hesitantly, his voice not as playful as it usually was. It sounded tired, rung out and haunted in its gentle rasp.
"Hey, dad." I breathe out, the sound of his voice, though different, still bringing comfort to the deepest parts of me.
"Theo, Goddess Theo I've been so worried about you." He replies quickly, words stumbling over themselves. "We looked everywhere for you, do you have any idea how terrified I was not knowing where you were, not hearing from you."
"I'm sorry, but Damon needed to leave... and so did I," I mumble honestly, voice quieting with that last part. He doesn't reply, leaving a noticeable silence for me to continue. "You didn't tell me that you weren't making us alpha, you didn't tell me."
Dad takes a breath, breathes hitching on the other side as he swallows audibly. I wait patiently, gripping the phone in my hands as I wait for an explanation, needing something tangible to not reproach everything I believed him to be before this.
"I'm sorry," He whispers through a croak, his voice weighing down like I imagined his regret to be pulling him down. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I shouldn't have let Aiden keep it from you two for this long. I should've pushed for him to tell you sooner."
"You left us for months, an entire year, believing that we'd be alpha." I press, voice growing louder with my irritation. "You knew exactly how much this meant to us, you both did, you and father know how much this meant to me, to Damon. And you lied to us."
"I know Theo and fuck, I'm so sorry." He apologizes again, voice cracking with desperation. "We didn't lead you on for nothing, it wasn't supposed to happen like this, but you weren't ready when the date got closer."
"I am ready!"
"You protect Damon too much Theo," Dad replies sadly as if the words hurt him as much as they hurt me, but there was no way that they could. "You've got your father's brain and my fight but you have a blindspot for Damon, you love him so much that you can't fault him nearly as much as he should be."
"Because he's good," I argue angrily. "He's not perfect, I know he's made mistakes and I know he's done many wrongs. But he is good, inside he is nothing but good. I wish you would see that behind it all he's just afraid and hurting."
"That may b-"
"And that is no excuse for keeping it to just days before!" I continue, my sparking fury carrying me on despite the way my eyes began to fill. "You left it to the last minute, l-let us chase our tails in vain and f-for what! T-That wasn't fair and you know it!"
My chest rises and falls rapidly, filling and releasing itself of quieted anger I'd buried when trying to comfort Damon, all of it coming out with the lid lifted and Damon safe from the backsplash of it all.
"Y-You lied to me and made a fool out of us! Left us i-in the blind and told Levi, now Damon doesn't e-even feel safe with his own family and I can't blame him." I huff out with a small sob. "I didn't t-think you'd ever do this to me... to us."
My short sniffs carry over the silence which follows, I push away the tears angry at their presence and keep the phone close. Close enough to hear the small sniffs that resounded in response on the other side, to hear two heartbeats that said that father was there as well.
I wasn't ready to face him yet.
"I-I'm sorry." He repeats, apologizing again knowing there was not much that could account for his actions besides words of apology. "I was scared like Aiden was... we w-were both so scared about h-how you'd react. We did this to you, w-we were the ones who... and then to t-take it all away. It scared us to death and I didn't want t-to face the worst possible scenario. You leaving, but that's exactly what happened and I ended up l-losing you just like I feared."
I listen with a busy mind, tying his reasons to his actions, trying to blend the two into a manageable mix but it was heard with my beating heart thumped in my ears, drowning out all and any thoughts as my mind fell victim to my clamorous emotions.
"I'm sorry Theo, I never meant to hurt you the way I did." He finishes sounding more ghostly that he did when we first spoke. "I-If you give me the chance, I'll make it up to you, I'll fix what I broke between us."
I nod gently against the phone, knowing he couldn't see it but unable to confirm it by words.
"Please come home." He begs after a moment longer. "Please, I miss you."
"I miss you too dad," I whisper and hear the ragged breath he releases from my admission. "W-We'll come back when we're ready when Damon is ready."
"...okay."
"And I will continue to protect him not because I'm his wolf, but because he's a part of me and if I don't see what other's can't then he'll have no one else." I finish with a bite to my tone that I reserved for Damon. "I may protect him too much, but I won't stop until he can protect himself."
With that I hang up the phone, setting it down with wide eyes before I clasp my hand over my mouth. Unable to comprehend that'd I'd just hung up on him if it were under any other circumstances, I would already be begging for forgiveness.
I smile gently at that, feeling slightly bold and strangely independent. That was a weird feeling, especially with the tears that still cascaded down my cheeks at the interaction. It'd been so long since I'd heard his voice, so long since I'd seen him.
I knew that they weren't my parents, not in the same manner that humans looked at familial relationships. But we chose to see it differently, in our family, I had parents who cared for me and helped me be the best wolf I could be for my human and siblings that made life away from Goddess' Resplendent Plains an exciting one.
It left room for pains like the one I felt now, left a greater space for pain than was necessary for a wolf. But I knew the feeling of having something so united and enduring was better than trying to do it on my own.
Wiping the tears away, I clear my mind of the waves of anger and pains, knowing it wouldn't fade until I was back home with them myself. I settle myself for a moment, breathing in through my nose before releasing it from my lips, trying to calm my racing mind for a later date, knowing I wouldn't leave until we fixed what we'd broken with William.
And it was becoming amazing apparent that William wouldn't try to fix it first, he was scared.
So we'd have to tug him to do it in a manner that would reach not only his heart but his soul and ripple through the bond in a manner that only a mate could.
Damon needed to be honest, with the truth and the whole truth the first chance he got. He needed to open himself for the boy so he'd maybe feel a little better doing the same.
Damon - I call with a small smile as an idea comes to mind.
What happened? - He snaps immediately, sensing my distress within an instant.
The abundant, unwavering concern makes my smile wobble and my eyes full at the sound of his voice, his presence clear the moment I needed him.
Nothing bad, promise - I reply shakily, before turning the topic to where it needed to be. I have an idea and I think it'll give you the chance you need to fix things with Will.
This has to work.
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I love Theo like honestly, I adore him he is somehow adorable and mature.
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Byeeeeeeeeeee Humanssssssssssssss