Samantha
I pushed through the dispersing crowds and somehow got into the library without being trampled alive.
Pushing the heavy (and ancient) doors open, I walked in, mind set on finding that particularly eye-catching figure in all black.
And it didn't take me long either. There she was, reading some book, casually, with her legs propped up on the table. I wondered if it was humanly possible for other people to seem so relaxed to the extent that Harley was right now.
"Hey!" I called out, walking over to her. She immediately looked up and smiled. I could stare at her smile for a long time, I realized. For one, it's an infamously rare thing and, two, it has that magic to it.
One might even say that it's hot.
In the back of my mind, I wondered about all the lucky girls who got to see it way more than I did. That thought left a sour aftertaste for some reason and I immediately shoved it aside.
"Remember what you said at lunch?" I said, coming to a stop in front of her.
"I do, actually. I said after school. We still have. . ." she made a show of looking at her watch. "Ten more minutes to go."
I stared at her blankly. "You're kidding me, right?"
"Nope. Take a seat if you want. Wyatt abandoned me for his girlfriend an hour ago and I don't do much homework when he's not there. So, I've been chilling here for an hour without him, just reading some random books."
"Alright," I said, and took a seat opposite to her.
"What were you guys working on?"
"Biology," she said distractedly, flipping a page, eyebrows slightly furrowed in concentration.
"You take Biology?" I said, surprised.
She looked up and smirked. "Why so shocked?"
"Whose class do you take?" I said, dodging her question, my interest peaked.
"Ms. Rhodney's," she said coolly.
"No way," I said, sitting back. "That's the AP class!"
"Yeah," she said, chuckling, before going back to her book.
"Who knew you were a nerd, too?" I remarked.
"I'm not. I just like Biology. Certain aspects more than others," she said, winking at me at that last part.
My expression changed to disgust.
"Eww," I said.
She laughed and went back to her book again.
"Ugh, stop reading and talk to me," I groaned out.
"Patience, Samantha, seven more minutes to go."
I scoffed and looked around at the library. A bunch of juniors researching away in the side aside, it was pretty empty.
And empty meant boring.
I looked over at Harley, head slightly tilted to the side, still reading, brown eyes running through the words on the withered pages. I had to restrain myself from running my eyes all over her. The book was getting special treatment. Apparently it's worth more than me-- a human.
I didn't really care much about books. I was never much of a bookworm growing up. I never have been and I probably never will be. But I had to make conversation somehow before seven minutes turned into seven drab years.
"What are you reading?" I said, trying to sound as casual as possible while sounding interested, both of which were fake feelings.
She gave me a dry look. "I know you don't care, Samantha."
I gaped at her, feigning outrage.
"I like to read!" I exclaimed.
"Do you now?"
"Yeah, I do."
"Okay, name your favourite author."
Crap. Okay, I can do this. Come on. Think.
"Shakespeare," I said.
She raised an eyebrow at that. "Really? Okay then, what's your favorite work of his?"
"I. . . uh. . . Romeo and Juliet, of course!"
"Uh huh, uh huh. And what do you like so much about it?"
Shit. Okay, I don't think I can do this.
"Um, the. . . the romance?"
"What happens in the end?"
"They end up together and live happily ever after?" I said, hopefully.
She started laughing.
"I wish you wrote Romeo and Juliet then," she said, before going back to her book again.
I shook my head at myself.
"Sorry," I mumbled.
"Why?" she said, still chuckling.
"I lied. I don't read for fun. I think it's boring."
"I get that, Sam, no issues."
I smiled slightly and settled in my chair, watching her as she read, flipping page after page with just one hand with a practiced ease and speed.
I eyed her brown hair, roughly falling over her shoulders and slightly covering her cheekbones. I then moved over to her lips. My eyes always find her lips, for some reason. They trailed down her shoulders and collar bone to her hands and then her long, toned legs that were still propped up on the table. The sunlight falling from the library windows highlighted all her exposed skin. I kept watching as she made small movements as she read, fingers tracing the words, flipping pages, feet moving to an unknown rhythm that existed in her head, her chest rising and falling slowly as she breathed in and out. In and out. In and out.
The bell rang in the distance.
Suddenly she took a black bookmark out of her pocket and closed the book. Her legs were off the table, her bag pulled up off the floor, the book shoved in, the zipper moved, the chair pushed into the table slowly and then I heard her clear her throat.
"Samantha!"
"What! What," I said, snapping out of my daze.
"Are you okay?" she said, a look of concern on her face. She placed a hand on my shoulder and peered into my eyes. "I just called you, like, five times!"
I could feel the heat on my shoulder and I tried hard not to blush.
"Yeah, I'm. . ." I stared into her eyes, the deep brown, the black in between, the naturally long eyelashes. Concern still flickered across them. "I'm fine. Really."
She withdrew her hand, making me miss the warmth, and then nodded towards the door.
"Let's go then?" she said, smiling, straightening up.
"Yeah," I replied, getting up, smiling back.
We walked out of the library and into the open air.
"What did you have planned?" I asked.
"Well, it's up to you, really. What do you feel like doing? Does a movie sound good? Or a trip around town? Or some food?"
"Is this a date?" I said, chuckling.
"You wish," she replied, smiling.
I scoffed at that. "Yeah, right."
"We have to decide on something, though."
"What if. . . What if we did all of it?" I said, slowly, cautiously.
"All of it?" she said, looking at me a little wide-eyed.
"Yeah. Have fun, have an adventure," I continued.
"I do like the sound of that. . ."
"I feel like there's a but coming up."
"Yeah, Brielle said she's gonna meet up with me at the mall at eight. Shopping and stuff. Sorry."
"Oh," I said, disappointment kicking in. "It's alright. How about we just take a trip around town?"
"Sounds like a plan," she said, nodding.
With that, we walked out into town. We took the longest routes to the town park, the richer parts of the neighborhood, the complex in the middle of town with the copper fountain, the old school, the museum, the business district a little away from there, the chain of restaurants and cafés. All the while, we talked, laughed. I would catch myself staring at her more than anything else. I couldn't help myself.
I loved the way she talked. She would constantly moderate and accentuate her voice in traceable patterns to make bold statements, express just exactly what she wanted you to feel, what she truly felt.
We ended up at the lake, situated well beyond the crowded town, but still a beloved part of it for couples, friends, people in search of some peace and quiet. We were alone there. There wasn't a soul that busy evening. The sun had slowly begun disappearing into the ground, the sky a mixture of red, yellow and orange.
"That was fun," she said, laughing lightly, settling into the grass.
"Agreed," I replied, settling in with her. Our bags were tossed to the side, made to rest beneath the solitary tree to my left.
We sat there for a while in complete silence, watching the lake, listening to the small waves making small lapping noises.
"Ever been here before?" she suddenly asked, eyes still fixated on the lake and the sky.
"I have, actually. Just once."
"Special day of sorts?" she asked. I could feel the smile in her words.
"Actually, yeah. The day my sister died."
She quickly turned to look at me.
"I'm so sorry."
"It's okay. Thing is, I never really got to see her. She died in New York with stage four cancer."
I could feel her eyes drilling into me.
"Why- wait, you didn't go visit?"
"My parents didn't want to," I said. "They stopped me from going alone."
There was silence again. I refused to look at her. I fixed my eyes on the ground, the grass. I could feel myself tearing up, but I blinked the tears away. I didn't deserve to cry about her without saying goodbye first.
"Her grave is in New York. I should probably visit someday but I don't think I'll ever be able to without breaking down."
There was silence again.
"Samantha. . ."
"I'm fine," I said, sniffing. "I didn't even know her that well."
"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to-"
"No, I want to," I cut in. I realized that a tear had fallen, but I wiped it away.
"Okay," she whispered.
"Her name was Paris. I used to call her Perry. She was ten years older than me. She was a. . . a lesbian. She had a girlfriend since age sixteen named Ashley. She wanted to move in with her after graduation. My parents refused, wanted to take her to therapy, get her to recover from it, like it was some sort of illness. She left, ran away to New York to live with Ashley. I've never seen her since, except once, when she came back to try and reconcile with our parents. But they humiliated her in front of all our family friends, neighbors and business partners at this party that they were hosting that evening. She went away. I didn't hear from her until Ashley called to let us know about the cancer. I talked to her over the phone. She told me she loved me. That's. . . that's all I remember, really. I remember coming here the day she died and then sleeping here. I just. . . didn't wanna go home. To them."
I realized that I was crying silently now, tears falling, but no sound.
I felt a hand wrap around my own, fingers intertwining with my own. She gave it a squeeze and said, "You should go visit her someday. Just know that. . . that none of it's your fault. None of it, do you hear me?"
I nodded slowly. I looked up at her and smiled through the tears. She had an earnest look on her face. There was a moment of silence again.
"Hey," she said softly.
I looked at her, giving her my attention.
"Wanna go for a swim?"
I laughed. "A swim? Really?"
"C'mon! It's bound to cheer you up a bit. I'm not a cry-about-it-for-hours kind of person. I'm more of the get-up-and-get-going kind of person. I think you could use that kind of strategy just about now."
"You think so?" I asked.
She nodded, getting up and then pulling me up of the ground.
"We don't have any spare clothes, Harley," I said, shaking my head, trying to stifle a laugh, biting down on my lower lip in the effort.
"I have money, we can buy something," she said, right before taking off her jacket and shirt. I stared wide-eyed at her shirtless self.
"You're an idiot. The water is probably cold as ice."
"That's the fun part of it," she said, taking off her pants and her shoes.
"You're gonna get hypothermia," I said, folding my arms.
"You only live once, so let's go," she said, crouching as if getting ready for something.
"I'm not coming."
"Yes, you are," she teased, inching closer. I backed away, giggling.
"No, I'm not," I yelled.
She chased me around the grass before finally catching up to me. She wrapped her arms around me from behind and lifted me up, carrying me closer to the lake.
"If you throw me in there, I will kill you, Harley. I'll. Kill. You," I shrieked.
"Then be a good girl, take off your clothes, and join me," she whispered into my ear.
I went limp in her arms and let out a chortle as she put me down on the grass.
"Fine," I said, turning around to face her. "But if I die, it's on you. You killed me."
"Deal. You swim, or you die and I go to jail. Sounds great, now hurry up," she said, hands on her hips.
I took off my shirt and my jeans.
"Didn't bother asking me to turn around this time," she pointed out.
"You're gonna see me in the water, so what's the point? And besides, you've seen me without clothes on," I said, winking at the last part.
Maybe it was just me or I did actually catch her blushing. She quickly looked away before I could make sure and began running towards the lake. I ran behind her.
She immediately dove into the water without hesitation. I, on the other hand, came to a stop at the edge.
"Wooohhoo!" she screamed, splashing around.
"Is it cold?" I called out as she swam away.
"Yeah!" she replied. "What're you waiting for? Jump!"
I took a deep breath.
Alright, I can do this part.
I slowly moved into the lake.
"Lame. Why didn't you jump!" she called out, watching me as I made my way to her.
"Hey, at least I'm crazy enough to get in here. Sorry that wasn't enough for you, Harley," I said.
"Okay, okay. Thanks for joining me, Sam. Let's die together."
I gaped at her and splashed her. She splashed the water back at me before swimming away. I began swimming after her, laughing.
"You can't catch me!" she yelled.
"Challenge accepted!" I yelled back.
We swam around for a long while, trying to catch each other before finally floating around in the middle of the lake.
"I like this part the most," I said.
"Floating?"
"Yeah."
Suddenly I felt a presence right beside me.
"Hello, stranger," she said, smiling.
"Hello to you, too," I replied, straightening up a little to face her, back to swimming.
We were close now. Like, really close. I felt a hand on my waist under the water, and butterflies swarmed in the pit of my stomach. Her eyes locked with mine. Her thumb made small circling motions on the skin there and a shiver went down my spine. Her eyes didn't leave me as she moved closer, her arm going around my waist. I couldn't stop staring. I felt like I was afloat, literally and figuratively. I was no longer on earth, but somewhere far, far away.
Her other hand moved to cup my face and then my neck. Her warm breath hit my face, warming me up on the inside in an instant. My mind could focus on nothing more than the sensation of her hands on me.
My eyes fell shut as I moved my hands to her shoulders and then her neck. Our foreheads touched. I realized that I was breathing heavily.
Her lips were just inches from mine. My heartbeat quickened. She slowly brushed her lips against mine, teasing me. My lips burned at the sensation. I wanted more, I realized.
I wanted more. I. . . wanted. . .more.
My eyes fluttered open. She was still watching me, fingers moving soothingly against my skin. I pulled her impossibly closer.
That's when she moved to close the distance between us.
The next few seconds were both blurry and crystal clear at the same time. Imaginary fireworks went off in my brain. My eyes fell shut at the feeling. Her lips were warm and soft but still deliciously chapped.
I let out a small noise of pleasure and deepened the kiss. She followed my lead, wrapping both her arms around me. My hands went up to her hair, moving into them, exploring. Her one hand moved against my back all the way to my bra, unhooking it. My hands couldn't get enough of her and neither could my lips as I pried her lips open slowly and moved my tongue in, tasting her. She immediately responded, moving her tongue against mine.
The fact that the both of us were completely drenched made it way better.
We kept kissing for what felt like forever before she broke it and began trailing deep kisses down my neck, my exposed chest, my cleavage. I threw my head back and moaned. She immediately moved back up to kiss me again.
I kissed her back with just as much energy and enthusiasm. I realized that I'd never felt so happy before. Whenever I'd go on dates, make out with boys, I would always feel weird and strange inside. I always felt that it was something wrong with me. But with Harley, it was different. It felt magical. Beautiful. Complete.
I felt like I finally found something I didn't know I'd been searching for.
She slowly broke the kiss, savoring the moment, eyes closed. I held onto her, clinging, pressing kisses to her cheek and then her neck. She let out a moan and held me closer. My lips latched onto the spot below her ear and began sucking on it passionately.
"S-sam. . . Sam, stop. Really," she said softly, slowly pushing me away by the shoulders.
"But I don't want to," I said breathlessly, moving to touch her again, hands aching to feel her skin. She moved away reflexively, her eyes focusing on nothing in particular. She looked torn, confused, guilty.
"We can't. We just can't."
I stared at her blankly as reality came crashing back.
Shit.
Shit, shit, shit.
I just kissed Harley Gardner. I kissed a girl.
And you liked itttttt, said a voice in my head, which I violently stabbed to death.
"I. . . I'm-"
"Don't!" she cut in, taking me back my surprise. "That didn't happen, okay?"
I blinked.
"I-I don't wanna do that," I said, defensively.
She looked at me.
"What?" she questioned, a tone of indignation in her voice.
"I said, I don't wanna do that," I said, more firmly this time.
"Sam-"
"I know. I know we shouldn't have. But I'm not gonna deny the fact that we just had a moment. A. . . damn amazing one," I stated, whispering that last part though I know she heard me.
There was silence. I realized that my bra was floating on the water. I quickly grabbed it and put it back on. I felt her eyes on me, watching my every move.
"Let's get back," she said.
"Harley, wait."
She stopped moving, her eyes falling back on me.
"Admit the fact that we had a moment. And that you liked it."
"Samantha. We can't. You have a boyfriend. I have a girlfriend. Your parents. . ."
"Please don't bring them up."
"Fine. Your friends then. They hate me."
"That begs the question, Harley. Why exactly is that?"
She sighed in exasperation. "That's for another time. We have to get back."
"Harley. . ."
"I shouldn't have made a fucking move. What the hell was I thinking," she said, more to herself than me, hands tearing at her hair. I realized that she was freaking out. "I ruined our friendship."
I moved to her immediately. "Hey! Stop! Stop. Harley!" I placed my hands on her shoulders.
"We kissed. It's okay. We can just move on from it. It was just a silly, silly thing that happened, okay? We were just having fun, that's it."
"But you just said-"
"Harley. I want us to accept it. Not try and forget that it ever happened. That's a bad way of dealing with it. Besides, girlfriends kiss each other at times, when they're drunk, or bored, or wanna practice. We did it for fun," I said, pulling her into a hug.
"Okay, if you say so," she mumbled, burying her face in my neck.
We stayed in that hug for a while as she calmed down and I did, too. And then she was laughing. And so was I.
"Let's get back now?"
"Yep. We've been here long enough."
With that, we made our way back to town, clothes still wet and clinging to us, laughing and talking without a care.
I realized that we were going to have to forget it actually happened, just like she said we should.
The thought made me sad, but the memory of us kissing, strangely enough, was enough to cheer me up, and. . . well, make me want to do it again.
I looked over at her as she walked beside me. A strong yet unknown feeling filled up my chest.
And maybe it's time that I accepted that as well.
***
Hey!
This was a LONG chapter and I apologize. It's the longest I've ever written with 3000+ words.
And an important one at that, too ;)
Hope you liked it!
Lemme know what you think!
Love you,
queenred