Grief sneaked behind my back and took me under its arms. Memory flashed in my head, repeating itself like forever. All of it just to remind me the price I had to pay after someone died. They said time healed wounds. For many days, weeks, months or years. I do not know how long it will take.
Somber eyes stared at the wall in front of me. It was three in the morning. I could not close my eyes and lure into sleep. It has been five days and the cycle would not stop tormenting me.
The same dream I woke up everyday.
Her small body lied on the ground. The bullet hole pierced through her heart, juices oozed out, drenched her pink pajamas darker. I stood there, my body did not move. Big tears ran down my cheeks.
"Mami...oh, Mami-chan, no, no, no," I croaked out. I covered my face, releasing wails that echoed around the dark room.
"Why did you not say anything?"
Hands grabbed on my leg, snapped me out of my miserable state. I looked down and saw Mami clawed on my skin, smearing it red.
When she tilted her head up, my heart stopped.
"Why did you not tell me?"
Dull red eyes looked at me. Her mouth moved and voice devoid of emotions, like a doll. A dribble of blood rolled from her lips.
I tried to speak but words could not come out. Suddenly, air was blocked into my lungs. Mami squeezed my neck with immeasurable strength that a normal child would not have. I struggled to break free.
"Why, Chi-chan?"
Two figures appeared behind Mami. Their soulless orbs looked down on me, making me feel small.
My lungs screamed for air. My windpipe felt like it was about to crushed. I tried to speak out. Gurgles from my throat came out. I wished to rewind time, I wished that I just struck in the background, I wished I was never alive again...
"Why didn't you save us?"
The dream ended there. When I woke up, my breaths came in short gasps. Tears streamed down my face. Their voices echoed in my head. Never ending, they continued to haunt me.
If I could just woke up and found out everything was just an illusion or nightmare....but no matter how hard I wished for it, the reality was always the same.
I want my old self back. But what about the new me? Saikawa Jun and Hiragii Chisaki were different personas. I was dead already. But that spirit said my soul was connected to her. Did she died during birth?
I felt the sheets moved. I looked over to my side. Spiky red hair struck out from his head. His small body covered with the thick blanket slept soundly. His eyes closed, I could see his long eyelashes, and his lips parted, snoring softly.
After we cried, the nurse allowed us to stay together. They combined our beds in a single room. We slept together and comforted each other.
The black bags under his eyes disappeared a bit.
I envied him. Being able to sleep without problems. I stared at the boy. Guilt etched in my heart, an ugly scar. All the time I thought, "This was my fault." Was it a right thing to be his friend?
You let them be killed.
The voice in my head added salt into my wounds. I wanted to rewind time to change the past. I wanted to see my friends and family again. To be ordinary without all of these stuff. I did not want to feel the pain of grief and guilt. I missed playing with my friends and talking with my family.
But what about the relationships I made here? What about Enma?
I buried my face into my hands and let out a long sigh.
| ... |
The Simon Famiglia often visited me and Enma in the hospital. The looks on their faces when they heard the news. They hardly believed that their leader was dead. When they visited me, Adelheid ran up to me and grabbed my shoulders, questioning my well-being. She clasped her face when I showed her my leg. She gave me a hug and wished me to be well soon.
One by one, the family members sent their well wishes to me.
Koyo, surprisingly, asked how I was feeling. I thought he was that jerk of a guy but turned out he can have a soft side. Julie wept tears that the bandages covered my beautiful skin, which he got a hit on the head by Adelheid. Kaoru hoped I recovered faster and rubbed my head. Oyama stated if I need any help in walking, I could ask him for support. Adeline cooked for me chicken soup. Other parents sent gifts like flowers or presents.
Touched by their concern, I accepted their gifts. Deep inside, I felt like I don't deserve the kindness. If the truth came out, they would look at me differently. Like Mami, Makoto and Akira in the dreams. They will hate me, and Enma...could feel betrayed.
I could hear the critical voice at the back of my mind calling me a liar. I did not deny that. I could have just do something.
The doctor discharged Enma and he leave early. He visited me along with the others. We chatted about school, what happened, assignments to be done. The smiles on their faces brightened as we conversed and shared our daily life. Enma seems down but put a smile on. I knew he was coping with the lost. His red eyes brightened as we talked. Relief washed me that he would be fine.
On the last day, Father came to pick me up. His face looked grieved and serious. He did not say anything. In seconds, I knew something bad happened.
"Moving?"
"Yes, you and your mother will be moving somewhere else," Father said as he helped me on the wheelchair. The sudden news confused me. This place was quite content. We have close bonds with neighbors, made friends. Everyone was nice, well, not everyone.
"Why are we moving?"
"I will be going somewhere far away, I need you two to be in a secure place," Father answered walking out of the hospital entrance.
I have no idea why he decided for us to live with a family. Living with the Simon Famiglia was enough.
"I know you will have a lot of questions. You will know when you grow up."
With that, I knew he would not tell me the full details. The rest of the way was silent with a few conversations here and there, like what's for dinner, how's mother. His usual bubbly persona diminished when I mentioned Enma or any Simon Famiglia. I caught this but did not say anything. When we reached home, I noticed a truck parked in front of our house. Two men carried big boxes into the vehicle. It was not a joke when he said we were moving.
Father rolled me into the living room. I looked around and took note the empty space.
"Papa, when will we be moving?" I asked.
"By tonight."
I processed the first word slowly. I blinked and screamed, "EHHH!"
There's not much time to spend with Enma and the others. Why must it be so fast?
"My flight starts at seven o'clock in the evening. I needed to make sure I see you guys off before heading off," Father continued as he sliced an apple into pieces. He plated them on a small bowl and placed it on my lap. I took one and bite into the sweet, crunchy flesh.
"Why must it be so quick?"
"After their death, I don't think we will be safe here."
I really wanted to say my last words to them before leaving. If I suddenly left, they will probably wonder where was I. That would be rude. They were my friends. They needed to know.
"I would advise not to, Chi-chan," he spoke as if he read my mind.
I deflated at that like a puppy got kicked.
Father always kept secrets from me and Mother. Seen with a smile on his face, he played the role of a joker. He loves to express his love openly to us. He shown no mind to PDA. Everywhere he went, women gazed at him with hearts and blushes.
He drew everyone's attention with his natural charms and confidence. His dark side bought out the inner devil within him. His aura emitted malice, a normal civilian froze if they sense the mood. It lurks something sinister about him. Azusa and him does not get along after a promise broke in the past.
Mysteries surrounded him. I have no clue about his past. Since Uncle Azusa lived in Italy, Father might be from there.
I quietly sneaked to the coffee table. Father stood outside, conversing with a person in a blue uniform. I rolled towards the telephone case and plucked the wireless phone from the charger. I pressed each button, my eyes glanced outside to ensure Father was still busy.
I rang Adelheid's home number as Adeline had decided to take in Enma as his guardian. A couple rings later, a small voice spoke out.
"Hello...?"
"Adel-chan! It is me!" My eyes darted to see Father shaking hands with the man.
"Chi-chan...What's on?" The man laughed, Father must have say something funny to him.
"Adel-chan, I need to tell you and Enma something. It is very important!"
"What is it?" Her voice came out soft and raspy. Her tone lacked life, as if she cried for hours.
"I am-" my eyes widened as I saw Father turned around and walked back to the entrance. I have to be quick!
"Chi-chan...listen to me first..It is very crucial, " I could sense the tension behind her voice as I paused mid in my sentence.
"You need to be careful...There are bad guys out there who wanted us dead,"Adelheid warned.
"...What do you mean?" I forgotten what was my intention to call her.
"Mama...she...," loud sniffles could be heard from the line. I knew something happened to Adeline. And that she won't be here anymore.
She composed herself before she blurted out the next words. My ears caught what she said. Those words caused my hands to turn numb.
"Beware of the Vongola, Chi-chan."
"Chi-chan."
I yelped when I heard Father's voice behind me. A large shadow loomed over me. Too focused on what Adelheid said, my ears did not pick up Father's presence.
I slowly looked up and met unknown eyes of my father. His expressionless face threatened my quivering form.
"What did I said before?"
Before I knew it, Father reached down to grab the phone from my sweaty palms.
"Hello, Adelheid-chan. I am sorry. Chi-chan just got back from the hospital and was quite tired...Yes, she just needs sleep. She is still young. After all, sleep helps in a child's growth...Don't worry, you take care of yourself and Kozato's son. Be safe."
He switched off the call and place it inside his pocket. He stood there for a moment with his eyes closed. The silence made me more uncomfortable as I waited for him to speak.
The shadows darkened his face, making his eyes brighter than normal.
"Never defy my orders, Chisaki."
Fear crippled me, like shackles chained every part of my body, and pinned me down. I shivered as I stared-captivated by the glow of his eyes.
Without a word, he carried me out of the wheelchair and folded it into a portable size. He held me in one arm, the other grabbed the equipment. He walked to a sleek black car and plopped me in the back seat of the car. Belt secured across me for safety. He slammed the car door and went to the front to sit on the driver's seat.
"Chi-chan, are you comfortable at the back?" Mother asked as she seat at the passenger's seat.
"Yea, I am alright," I replied, my mind flashed back to Father's eyes. I could not process what had happened. The way those eyes looked straight at me, I could not recognize Father.
The ride was quiet and serene. It did not help with my mood. I tried to distract myself by looking outside. Seeing the houses, trees, and people passed by.
Police cars surrounded a property caught my attention. I leaned closer to the windows. Medics pushed a wheeled cot, on top, white covers blocked the person's identity into the ambulance.
My eyes widened as I saw Adelheid, Kaoru, Enma, and the others. They stood away from the scene. Their faces were down. Some wiped their eyes, clearly crying.
I wanted to open the door and ran out there. However, Father's words made me think twice. Reluctantly, I faced away. I stared at my lap, fingers traced the bandages rolled around my thigh.
For thirty minutes, my eyes did not move from my lap. I snapped back when Father announced we had arrived.
Father helped Mother out before he went to me. He carried me under my bottom before placing me on the wheelchair. We walked to an enormous mansion. A traditional Japanese mansion.
Though I paid no attention to my surroundings, my mind wondered about the Simon Famiglia . The person who laid on the cot. It must be one of them who died. Someone from a family under the umbrella of Vongola attacked them.
And yet you did not have the guts to do anything.
I bit my bottom lip. I hate that voice inside my head. The plot was meant to tell the whole story. What can I do? I am fine being in the background...What the hell was I thinking? I am friends with the Simon Famiglia! To hell with the plot! I do not know what to do! If God could tell me why am I here.
"Chi-chan." Mother's voice broke my thoughts. I blinked and looked at her milky orbs.
"Yes, mama?"
"Goodness, you are daydreaming. Always pay attention when someone is talking to you," Mother scolded me.
"It's fine, Mari. I think she felt overwhelmed by the new environment," someone chuckled gently. The voice flowed like music in my ears.
I gaped at the woman in front of me. Her beauty struck me in a daze. Long brown hair cascaded on her back. Fringes hung besides her hear-shaped face. Her bluish-grey orbs twinkled in amusement as her cherry lips curved upwards. Her movements carried grace and diginity.
"Am I that pretty, Chisaki-chan?"
Absentmindedly, I nodded my head before I realized what I just did. My face burned as I hid myself in Mother's chest, embarrassed that I got caught staring. The woman giggled behind her sleeve.
"Chi-chan, meet Aunt Yukari. She is Mommy's best friend," Mother peeled my face off her chest to face her. My eyes shyly looked up. My cheeks warmed when I saw her smiling. I bet my face looked like a tomato.
"N-Nice to meet you, A-Aunt Yukari," I fumbled over the words.
"What a cute and polite child you are. My, you do look like your father," the beauty patted my head.
"Don't say that, Yuka-chan. What if she took after him?" Mother pouted.
"Hehe, she really is your daughter. If she is a boy, I bet hundreds of girls will chase after her. There will be a tiny version of Yuto in your family!"(That will be interesting to watch.)
"Oh, one Yuto is enough in the house. He is way hyperactive to be handle. Why can't he be like your husband?"
"My husband can be too serious. It is fun to tease him sometimes. Now, let's not stay out here and go inside," Yukari ushered Mother into the house.
Since I was busy contemplating, Father has gone to greet an old friend of his. My eyes scanned the place-tatami mat spread the floor, sliding doors and wooden engawa verandas. A rocking bamboo tube clapped repeatedly against a rock.
Peaceful and cozy. Your problems vanished if you live here. Price wise, your money flew away and you began to rethink your life choices.
"Chi-chan, would you like to meet a friend?" Yukari asked me.
"A friend? Like me?"
"Yup! Since you will be staying here, I suggest that you get to know him. Think of him as your big brother," she smiled widely.
Oh, she has a son. I am curious now...
Though why do I see a man banished a knife at Father?
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Hey guys...Sorry for the late update. Life has been busier and crappier. I am feeling down and depressed...I feel like this story needs to be rewrite. I just hate myself now...
Also, please note that my exams are coming, so I need to focus on that...
Thank you for reading.