Damon's P.O.V
I fucked up.
I mean, it's not like I'm not used to fucking up because I am. But to fuck up to this caliber with something so new and good, that was different and it hurt. Hurt a lot more than I was prepared for, but I guess that's the case with mates.
William had one rule. One simple, yet stupid, annoying rule - no touching.
He'd made it abundantly clear from the moment we met that skin to skin contact was off-limits. And I, Damon Calderon, went and threw that out of the fucking window the moment he looked at me as if I was worth even a spec of his kindness. I wasn't.
And to top it all off, I got hard.
Got fucking hard for a man and a human of all things. Feeling his soft as silk skin brush mine, even for that all too short moment, made me harder than ever before.
Just touching my mate sent electricity rocketing through my veins and left me panting like a pup in heat. It made me feel alive in a way I've never felt before, silencing my mind and overwhelming my body with its delicious feeling.
If he didn't scream, I would've claimed those perfect lips without a second thought and not stop there. Goddess knows I would've submitted to my most primal urges and licked his little, human body all over until he was begging for more.
But he had screamed, he'd screamed and jumped away with fright and shock in those big, blue eyes. The look sending a sword of agony straight through my heart and silencing all my stupid wants.
Now, Will had barely spoken to me since my little fuckup in the kitchen, only responding to my attempts to rekindle a dead conversation with one-worded answers.
I'd upset him, hurt him maybe.
I couldn't tell, not with the stoic look on his face. But I could tell that Will locked himself tighter than when we met, leaving me shut out in the process.
To know I was the cause burned like a festering blister on my heart. It was me, his mate, who did this no one else and that knowledge left me weak with regret.
Why the fuck did I have to go and ruin something good, again?!
Things were going well, so fucking well! He was smiling, laughing... he was happy. Goddess, he was so happy it made me ache with the need to keep it that way for as long as I could possibly manage. But best of all, Will was comfortable with me. Relaxed enough to open up more than ever before, share a little piece of the secrets he kept locked up... until I ruined it.
You just need to turn this around, it's not over yet - Theo says, trying his best to be supportive despite the anxiety that rang through us. He said to stay, that must mean something.
He probably said it out of obligation- I grumble while spinning the noodles around my fork.
When has Will ever said anything out of obligation, he's more direct than you - Theo argues with a bit more momentum. He was probably just shocked that's all, he doesn't hate you now.
I hate me - I reply, aware that it was more than a whine than a reply.
Damon, I am not the wolf to a baby, I am the wolf to an amazing, alpha. Now get your shit together and fix this - Theo snaps angrily, using a bit of force to nudge my entire body.
You seriously need to calm down with the cursing - I reply, smiling gently at the way my skin heated up with his embarrassment as he faded away.
I let my eyes raise to Will, finding him chewing mindlessly on his chicken while he stared at me. His eyes narrowed with intent, studying me like an abstract piece he couldn't understand. The sight makes me still with surprise, but he snaps out of his little daze and looks away immediately.
"Sorry." He mumbles quickly, eyes trained to the plate of food sat before him.
"I'm sorry, for earlier," I reply, with my millionth apology for the night.
Somehow I'd managed to apologize to Will more times over the past half hour than I had in my entire life. It should've been harder than it was, but the need to make things better had apologies pouring out of me.
"I already told you, it's okay Damon." He insists despite the deep concentration directed to his plate. When I don't reply, his eyes raising to me for a brief moment. "Accidents happen."
It wasn't an accident.
"But you're mad now," I state, making his eyebrows pull together as his foot taps furiously against the ground.
"I'm not mad at you." He manages after a moment.
"But you are mad?"
"No. I'm not mad." He says dropping the fork and leaning back into his chair. He pulls his legs up beneath him and runs a hand through his hair. Frustration rippling off of him in waves as he shifts uncomfortably until he finally settles with a sigh, placing his arm against his knee. "I don't really know. I'm just confused."
I bite my tongue to stop from pressing any further, not when there was so much distress tumbling from him as he looked up at me as if I held the answers but I didn't hold shit.
I place my own fork down gently and fold my arms against the table. Watching him and waiting patiently for him to continue when he was ready to.
"When people touch me, I feel sick." The words send the blade deeper between my chest, sending Theo howling with regret. "Not always sick, it feels horrible. Most times, it's like a flip is switched and I can't breathe or think straight, I just fall apart. Other times, I break out in hives or I vomit. The worst times, I can't move. Not a single inch, it's like I'm completely paralyzed or something. I just have to touch someone and... I hate it so much."
My chest constricts, eyes filling.
"I'm so sor-"
"No. Don't apologize, please don't apologize," Will says quickly to cut me off. A weak smile pulls at his lips while he keeps his eyes trained on me. "It's different with you Damon, I don't feel any of that with you." He whispers, the smile spreading as color fills his cheeks. "With you, it feels normal... good even. I don't know why, but just then, it didn't feel like it usually does."
Relief floods my body like a tidal wave, slamming into my muscles until they were forced to relax and the air refilled my withering lungs. I shut my eyes and force myself to repeat his words like a sacred mantra to live by.
"That probably freaks you out." He continues as he huddles closer to himself. "I shouldn't have said all that, I'm sorry."
"Don't be." I all but beg as I run a hand through my own hair, distracting my fingers from reaching over to hug him. "I thought I hurt you."
"You didn't," Will confirms, dissipating the last of my worries with his gentle smile. He picks up his knife and prods nervously at the remaining food on his plate.
"Then why did you scream?" I ask while leaning forward, resting my arms against the small wooden table. Ears twitching with alert as his confusion slowly spills into my veins.
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." He whispers with a soft chuckle, eyes remaining on the plate.
"I will," I promise, but he doesn't budge. "Please tell me."
"It's crazy. I don't even believe it myself or understand it..." He tries again, his eyes lifting to meet mine. Doubt blaring through his gaze, his desperate need to deflect apparent, but I don't let him.
"Then maybe I will," I suggest, my body pressing forward just a little bit more. "
I watch carefully as the many emotions pass through him, the wall struggling to build itself back up with him not wanting to be alone. I don't move an inch, not wanting to scare him off or rush him. His eyes don't leave mine until he shuts them and takes in a deep breath.
"I..." He starts, voice fading as his eyes part slowly. "I, um... I saw you." His eyes immediately dart up to me, questions ringing through them but he continues. "When I opened my eyes, I saw you. Your face all of it."
"What do you mean?" I ask and he sighs, turning away slightly defeated.
"I don't know." He grumbles, his fingers gripping his hair with frustration.
"Yes, you do." I correct firmly, letting a little bit of the raw alpha spill from my lips. The tone worked on wolves to calm them when scared and I was hoping it would work a little on my mate to do the same. "You do know, so tell me."
"It wasn't blurry." He confesses, heart racing with anxiety. "You weren't blurry. For a second, I saw like I used to."
Understanding blankets me finally as his words sink in before pure confusion pushes its way inside my mind. I believed him, I knew he wasn't lying but it didn't make any sense. The mate bond was the most probable answer, but that was assumptions.
The mate bond has been known to heal before, from the bite in particular - Theo fills in, voice light with contemplation. Touch being effective is quite peculiar but I'm sure there must be hundreds of accounts in the archives.
But isn't that wolf and wolf? Will is human - I reply quickly knowing the archives weren't an option. Those were home, in pack lands, somewhere I had no interest in going back to any time soon.
Then it should work even better - Theo replies with excitement. Humans biological composition is much weaker than a wolf's, mixing it may very well be strong enough to heal, even at this level.
Or it may be strong enough to hurt - I say voicing the other side of this proposition
"You think I'm crazy." Will voices pulling me from my slight deliberation with Theo.
He stands to his feet, taking his plate along with mine and escaping to the kitchen. I grab our empty glasses and follow quickly.
"No, I was just thinking about it," I promise, setting the glasses on the counter opposite him as he scrapes the plates clean before washing them.
"Thinking about the crazy shit I just said." He dismisses, scrubbing the dishes with worrying aggression.
"I don't think you're crazy," I say slowly, emphasizing the words in hopes of him believing them. Goddess knows I hoped he wouldn't think I was crazy when I eventually told him what I really was. "I think it's a good thing."
Will raises a questioning brow and I read the question off his lips before he can voice it.
"You got your sight back. Granted it was just a second, but it still counts." I explain, the hope and excitement embarrassingly visible in my tone and quickly growing smile. Will stops washing, staying still as his eyes remain glued to the dishes below. Heart still accelerating at a dangerous pace while his mind reels, I would give anything to take a look inside.
"I could've just been filling in the blanks." He replies, setting the water off and resting his hands against the sink. "My mind pulling together an imaginary image in efforts to see the face I was talking to. I'm sure my doctors could find a million similar cases for others in my state."
My excitement dwindles as I look at him, his face strained with exhaustion and sadness. Hope a feeling he'd been living without for so long that he couldn't even muster it up at this moment. It was sad that he'd been burned so many times he no longer tried or cared... he didn't seem to care. And when I thought about it, Will didn't seem to care about much of anything, he didn't seem to have any friends or family he cared about. Nothing but his stupid dog.
He was empty.
"I'm sure they can." I reply, nodding slowly promising myself to fill his life with so much happiness he would have no choice but to smile every day, even when he slept. "You can find anything if you try hard enough, but I don't think that was the case here. I think you saw the sexy beast that I am, you didn't imagine it."
"Oh yeah?" Will questions laughing helplessly.
"Yeah. To prove it, you're going to try it again." I say holding his gaze as his eyes widen.
"There's no need to do this Damon," He replies, shaking his head in decline.
"Maybe not, but what's the harm in trying?"
"Me vomiting all over you." Will deadpans.
"Don't even joke about that." I snap, closing my eyes and covering my mouth to stop myself from hagging. A disgusted shiver runs through me at even the thought, I'd probably kill myself to end it.
"Okay, okay," William says through giggles, I peak an eye open to see his hands up in surrender. "I won't so stop being such a big baby."
I look around the apartment, finding the most lamps around the couch that sat in front of the large flat screen tv. I pocket the question of how he watched tv for later and walk towards the space. I make quick work of turning on all the lamps until the place is brighter than the fucking sun.
"What are you doing?" Will asks, walking up behind me as I repositioned the lamps towards the couch.
"You said you see better when it's brighter, so I'm making it as bright as possible so there's no mistaking this," I explain, dancing between the many lights to get them just right. "Sit."
Aquilo - Who are you (my favorite song)
Will obliges and slips into a comfortable position. His painted toes poking out behind him as he rests himself partially on his legs which laid folded beneath him. His arm resting leisurely against the sofa as he tracks me with curious and kind eyes, the look sending a tingle down my spine.
I turn on the remaining lights in the apartment before making my way back to him. Making sure everything was perfect, he deserved nothing less.
I take my time approaching him, knowing he was still a little cautious. Sinking down onto the couch, a space laying between us giving him the comfort he needed. I turn to face him, my heart lurching at being so close to my mate, urges rising to make the space disappear and hold him in my arms.
"Whenever you're ready," I whisper, fisting tightening around the furniture in my grasp to still me.
Will's eyes dart around my face, studying every little pinpoint before he tugs himself closer just a little bit. The action making everything inside of me try to lurch forward, but I reign myself in, keeping myself perfectly still as I watch Will come closer. He pushes up onto his knees and draws himself as close as he can until his body's warmth teases at my skin, his small chest thumping like a loud drum as he raises his hand.
Thin fingers stretch out carefully, a slight tremor in them the only movement between us. Until he settles them over my hands, the soft fingertips brushing my skin like loving kisses which make my eyes glow without permission.
My jaws lock, fists clenching as my body seizes, need and want strong and demanding, electricity rummaging through my entire spirit as I look up at this wonderful, beautiful thing that was mine. All mine...
Will's eyes widen as his fingers stretch out further until they wrap around my wrist in a tight hold, the connection frying any lingering sense in my mind. I let myself bask in the radiant glow of my mate's touch, a near pur pushing past my lips at the comfort and pleasure it brought. Will pulls closer as if chasing the sight, forcing his knees to meet my thighs and it takes everything in me not to tackle him.
He doesn't even seem to notice as his eyes dart around my face viscously, a lust all too similar to his pulsing through his gaze as he studies me. His teeth sink into his lip, drawing my gaze downwards. I swallow slowly, watching the pink delicacy that was trying to draw me in.
"I can see you." Will whispers, voice soft and gentling, sensing if it were any louder it could shatter this fragile state between us.
"What do you see?" I ask, eyes pulling up to meet his.
His heart leaps the moment our gazes meet and his fingers tighten around my hand. I twist it slowly, gaze never leaving his until our fingers are clenched together in a tight hold. My thumb sweeping over his wrist soothingly, every inch of me needing to feel him in some manner, even in this subtle manner.
"I see those blue eyes, they're lighter now that I thought they were, like if they're glowing." He says softly, eyes still locked to mine before they begin to search. "You've got high cheekbones, they're sharp just you're jaw. Your hair is to this side today, midnight black but there are light blonde streaks hidden in there, I think. You've got a little mole below your lips, and a little crook to your nose."
"I don't think you're mind fabricated the exact same face I have." I tease, smiling at the way his lips pulled, fingers tightening around mine as his body sinks closer as if drawn into me.
"I don't think so either." He whispers, eyes lifting to meet mine again. "You were right."
"I tend to be."
"No, you were right before." He tells me, my eyes frown with confusion but he doesn't leave me guessing for too long. "You really are quite a sight."
And I'm hard again.
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I screamed, internally and my cheeks hurt from smiling so much.
Thoughts????
Is Damon handling shit well??
Is Will opening up to Damon???
I hope you guys listened to the song, it's my favorite song like in the world. I hope you liked it for the chapter too.
Vote up and comment if you wish, love you all.
I will be uploading Master's first chapter sometime this week.
Until next time,
Byeeeeeee humansssssss