4
Two weeks had passed ever since I started working for the Twist's and it seemed like we all fell into a routine.
A boring routine.
Every morning I would arrive at Coco House at eight am sharp, call out that I was there and then, after Liam had finished helping Edward dress for the day, I would listen carefully while he told me what I needed to know about Edward's meds - or, more importantly, his mood.
Because it seems like it was only getting worst day by day.
I learned a lot about Edward's condition.
Liam told me that Edward was doing a lot better than he used to, in the beginning, even though there's always the threat for his condition to worsen and him ending up having a heart attack.
It was like his life was hanging by a thread. . .
The most surprising information I had received might be the fact that Edward wasn't really paralysed !
I would have never guessed. . .
His limbs had movements in them but he couldn't move them, at least not more than a few inches.
He could feel things, but he didn't have enough muscle control to actually move properly.
I had to be very careful around him, since his skin was as fragile as a newborn's . If not more.
Liam told me to make sure that he didn't hurt himself. As he was already sitting in a chair all day, which made his limbs sore enough.
No matter how comfortable and high-tech his chair was, he was in constant pain.
Liam told me that it would be nice if I gave him a massage every once in a while, to release the tension and help with the soreness.
But not to go further than applying soft pressure on his body, as he bruised like a peach.
And that he will personally teach me how to give Edward a proper massage on his free days. He needed to be there to monitor my every moves for Edward's safety.
The only thing was, that let alone touching him , Edward couldn't even stand my presence around him. So I stayed away from touching him more than needed.
Even though I felt sorry for him and wished I could help him alleviate his pain.
Liam also told me that Edward had been treated by the best doctors in the world. That they moved him around across the globe in search for better treatments and therapy.
And that, the fact that he was still alive today and in this condition was nothing less but a true miracle.
I learned that Liam was a physiotherapist and that he was one of the best in his field.
Even though Liam didn't exactly say those words , it was obvious he was great at his job.
He told me, there were obviously better physiotherapists than him, out there. But the working conditions with Edward were too hard to handle for most of them.
And that him still being a student and so young made it easier for him to move around with him.
It was a 24/7 hour job for him.
Even though now that Edward was doing better, he got to have some time off, to pursue his studies online.
He is planning on getting degrees in other medical fields.
He told me that during the day he goes to the castle so he can still be close enough in case of emergencies, but also so he could concentrate better out of this house, where he would constantly have his mind set on Edward.
Edward Twist was also very hard to work with, but Liam was one of the few people that managed to break through his shell and that he actually liked or tolerated.
Liam told me, Edward's condition was horrid in the beginning. He was in a coma for around half a year before he woke up completely paralysed, as only the right side of his face could move.
And then he went from being completely paralysed to getting back his muscle sensory, all thanks to the efforts of the best medical staff available in the World. It was a slow but hopeful recovery.
Liam didn't say it, but I knew that the only problem now, was that Edward didn't want to recover. . .
*
After Liam leaves us alone , I usually would programme the radio or the television for Edward , dispense his pills and feed them to him.
Then I would start cleaning his room. The only place that needed to be cleaned in this house, since the housemaids weren't allowed in there.
More like ,
Edward refused to let them in.
Usually, after ten minutes or so he would make it very clear that he was
getting sick of my presence.
At that point , I would start working on the houses domestic tasks, washing tea towels that weren't dirty, or using random vacuum attachments to clean tiny bits of skirting or window sills, watering the plants ect...
*
I learned from Liam that the garden room was named "Auriolus Hortus".
Latin for "The Golden Garden".
He also told me that each rooms had a name of its own, that was written on gold plates in their entrance.
Apprently Edward was fluent in 5 languages and could manage a conversation in more than 10.
The more I learned about that man, the more intrigued I got about him and his past.
He was unlike any man
I had ever met.
Liam told me Edward had travelled all over the world before his accident.
But warned me never to mention or ask anything about his past life.
It was a completely Taboo subject.
And he couldn't give me any more details about Edward's life than he already has.
But what Liam didn't know was that , I had memorized each informations he gave me and gathered every single pieces I could find, to joined them, in making the intriguing puzzle that was Edward Twist.
Anyways, that's how I would spend the rest of my days.
Trying to clean an already spotless house and exploring each corners I was allowed to go in , all the while religiously popping my head around Edward's room every fifteen minutes or so.
When I did, he would usually be sitting in his chair, looking out into the garden or staring at the tv with a blank look on his face.
Sometimes he would disappear in one of those "forbidden rooms".
Liam had warned me not to disturb him when he did and not to try to look for him even if he left for an extended period of time.
He just told me to knock on the door and ask him if he was okay.
And leave as soon as I would get an annoyed groaned from him.
Liam said, it was usual for him to disappear , and that he needed that little bit of privacy to escape his reality.
There were days he would disappears for hours.
Making me worry about him. I would always go and look for him.
Sometimes finding him in front of the aquarium or the garden. Lost in thoughts, a sad look on his face.
Those times I would just stand there, silently watching him from afar.
He would be lying down on his reclined chair face turned towards the sun feeling its warmth, as his breath left him in bursts.
The wind's chill reaching his
bones , as he never covered himself fully. As if trying to punish himself for an unknown crime.
The shadows hanging heavy under his eyes.
I would watch him trying to reach for the sun rays, fingers trembling like a leaf under a storm.
He would turn his face to the sun and
close his eyes in silent meditation. I could almost feel the sadness engulfing, drowning his being.
I wonder what he might be thinking?
Was he remembering better days?
Praying for an escape?
Those were the only times I could see his emotions and internal tumult through the flickers in his green eyes and the twitches of his skin.
He was broken.
But he never showed it. Hiding behind his harsh mask and bitter words.
Trying to show the world he couldn't feel a thing. That he was strong, immovable.
He wanted the world to think that with his accident he didn't only lose his ability to move but also his ability to feel.
He had a face with a thousand countenances, in which all things were graven. Deep lines that life had carved with an immense amount of pain. Those were the days I would see the harshness of his reality.
I had been so blind to it.
To this day I was only looking through the veil my own eyes had weaven, never truly beholding the reality beneath.
But I know better, now.
I felt some his pain, as if it poured out of his skin, in dark thick liquid and sipped into mine, invading my heart and poisoning it with its turmoil.
My heart painfully wrenching, screaming out everytime I saw the sorrow in his eyes.
Every time he threw his snarky words my way, they started to hurt a little less every day. And then, came a point when I had become completely immune to his venom.
*
After trying to avoid each other for hours , I would brink him a drink of water, or one of those calorie-filled drinks that were supposed to keep his weight up and looked like pastel-coloured wallpaper paste, or feed him snacks or his lunch.
He could move his hands a little, but
not his entire arm without shaking.
I saw him try once and it looked painful. So he had to be fed.
That was maybe the worst
part of the day, for the both of us.
It seemed wrong, somehow, to be spoon-feeding a grown man, and my embarrassment made me clumsy and awkward.
Or maybe the issue wasn't about spoonfeeding a grown man but spoonfeeding him.
Edward Twist.
A man that could not stand my presence, and also someone who felt the need to put me down every second of the day.
But it wasn't just that, there was a. . . Something about being so close to him.
Close enough to see every little freckles on his face , close enough to be able to count each lashes on his lids.
Close enough to see the whirlpool of colors in his eyes.
From the black of his pupils to the gold
swirling in his irises.
His eyes. . . full, as the moon is in its prime. Beautiful yet sad, emerald pools as though they were pulled from the depths of the ocean.
Heavy with the memories that once made them dance.
Sometimes, when I would catch his eye, his soul seemed to shine through, just for a brief, flitting moment.
Looking into my sky of blue but then there was nothing.
They would turn stone cold.
Stories repressed and feelings abandoned.
How deceiving the eyes can be . . .
I wonder how he could be so physically close, yet miles apart.
Close enough to envelope me in his unique mesmerizing scent.
And put me under his spell.
Edward always smelled wonderful.
He had shelves upon shelves filled with perfumes and colognes.
French and foreign names written on each of them. Each bottles costing more than my hous, probably.
But that was him.
That was what made him special.
That was what made him Edward.
All his extravagance and artful genius.
His snarky remarks and cold stares.
His marvelous scent and puzzling eyes.
His mysterious past and unreachable present.
In my short time here, I have soon come to realise that nothing was too expensive for that man.
Everything he owned was rare, peculiar and specially crafted to suit his liking.
But the most surprising part in all of that, had to be the way my traitorous heart would start racing everytime I neared him.
How I would turn into a ham-handed babbling mess.
What was happening to me?
What kind of spell had he put me under?
Edward on the other hand made it pretty clear how much he hated my presence.
So much, he wouldn't even meet my eyes while I fed him.
It almost felt like we were doing something wrong.
Like we were sinning.
But thankfully it didn't last long because
shortly before one, Liam would arrive and I would grab my coat and disappear to walk the lone streets on my own, sometimes eating my lunch in the bus shelter outside the castle grounds.
It was cold and I probably looked pathetic perched there, eating my sandwiches all alone, but I didn't care.
I just couldn't spend a whole day in that house. . .
It was too overwhelming.
*
In the afternoons, I would put a film on Netflix for him. And as usual he would never invite me to watch them with him, so I would leave him alone.
I mostly went and sat in the kitchen eating my sorrow away , finding solace in bags of chips and other snacks.
Or I would spend time in the aquarium or the Light room staring at fake insects and fishes with eyes filled with wonder, mind swirling with too many unanswered questions.
*
I started bringing in a book or a magazine, but I always felt oddly guilty not actually working, and leaving Edward alone in his dispair permeated life , without trying harder to break his walls, that I could never quite concentrate on the words.
Occasionally, at the end of the day, Mrs Twist would pop in - although she never said much to me, other than 'Everything all right?' to which the only acceptable answer seemed to be 'Yes'.
Even though we both knew nothing felt close to right in this house.
She would ask Edward if he wanted anything, occasionally suggest something he might like to do the next day - some outing, or mention some friend who had asked after him - and he would almost always answer her dismissively, if not with downright rudeness.
There seemed to be a bitterness between them. Even though she "tried" to act nice around him.
But I could see, that even though she clearly cared for him, there was always a palpable tension in the air.
She wouldn't even look at him.
Like the sight of him was going to burn her eyes.
She would look pained, run her fingers up and down that little gold chain of hers, and then disappear again , not to be seen for the next two days or so.
His father, on the other hand was a different story.
He was a well-padded, gentle-looking man, with rosy cheeks and a warm smile.
He usually came in when I was leaving.
He would come every day at 5pm promptly and would sit and watch television with Edward, smiling warmly at his son and even hug him.
He was the only person besides Liam that Edward looked comfortable around.
His face would rid of its usual stiffness and he would almost look at peace.
Sometimes I would hear him making some remarks about whatever was on the news as I left.
*
In the first few weeks I had worked here, I had realised that Edward seemed determined not to look anything like the man he used to be; he had let his beautiful dark-brown curls grow into a shapeless unkept mess, and a thick beard crawl across his jaw, as if it was eating his face away.
His green eyes were lined with exhaustion, the effect of a constant discomfort.
They bore the hollow look of someone who was always a few steps removed from the world around him.
Liam said that he was rarely comfortable, as his body was always in pain.
Sometimes I wondered if it was a defence mechanism, whether it was the only way to cope with his life: pretending it wasn't him it was happening to.
I truly felt sorry for him. I thought he was the saddest person I had ever met, in those moments when I glimpsed him staring out of the window.
And as the days went by , I realized that his condition was not just a matter of being stuck in that chair, or the loss of physical freedom, but a never-ending litany of indignities and health problems, of risks and discomforts.
He was completely submerged in pain
From the inside out.
And if I were him , I would probably be miserable too.
*
But oh Lord, was he vile to me! Everything I said, he had a sharp answer for.
If I asked him if he was warm enough, he would retort that he was quite capable of letting me know if he needed another blanket.
If I asked if the vacuum cleaner was too noisy for him , I didn't want to interrupt his film , he asked me why, I didn't work out a way to make it run silently?
Whenever I fed him, he always complained that the food was too hot or too cold, or that I had brought the next forkful up to his mouth before he had finished the last.
He had the ability to twist almost anything I said or did so that I seemed utterly stupid.
Now I understand why he was named Twist!
He was destined to be an wful human being! That's why!
During those first two weeks, I learned to keep my face completely blank, and I would turn away and disappear into the other room and just say as little to him as I possibly could.
Trying my best not to let his hurtful words get to me.
I still broke down in tears sometimes. Liam finding me curled up in front of the fishes , a sobbing mess.
He would hug me and comfort me as best as he could. Telling me it was going to be alright and that Edward never meant any harsh words he said to me.
That he only said those words to mess with me. That he never truly wanted to hurt me. And I would sob some more. Telling him how much I hated Edward and this job. And he would hold me until I calmed down.
Then he would bring me warm cups of tea and chocolates. And tell me all about his day , until I completely forgot about my worries.
He was the best.
*
I hadn't realized it was possible to miss my old job more than I already did.
I missed Gary , and the way he actually looked happy to see me when I
arrived in the mornings.
I missed the customers, their company, and the easy chatter that swelled and dipped gently like waves around me.
This house, as beautiful and expensive as it was, was as still and silent as a morgue.
Six months,
I always repeated under my breath, when it felt unbearable.
Six months.
****
And then on thursday, just as I was mixing Edward's mid-morning, high-
calorie drink, I heard Mrs Twist 's voice in the hall.
Except this time there were other voices accompanying it.
I listened in, the spoon stilled in my hand.
I could just make out a soft woman's voice, young and well-spoken, followed by a light manly one.
And then Mrs Twist suddenly appeared in the kitchen doorway, and I tried to look busy, whisking briskly at the beaker.
'Is that made up with the 60:40 water and milk?' she asked, peering at the
drink over my shoulders.
'Yes. It's the strawberry one.'
I replied.
''Edward 's friends have come to see him. It would probably be best if you . . .''
She said.
Silently telling me to stay away from his room.
'Okay, I've got lots of things I should be doing in here, anyways '
I said giving her a shy smile.
I was actually quite relieved that I would be spared his company for a few hours.
I was so overly tired of the constant tension in the air.
I needed a break.
Plus he's been particularly snappy today. For God knows what reason.
It has been one hell of a morning and I could definitely use some time away from him.
It was God sent.
I screwed the lid on to the beaker.
'Would your guests like some tea or coffee?'
I asked her.
She looked surprised by my offer.
'Yes. That would be very kind. Coffee. I think. I'll ... '
She said nodding her head.
She was unusually tensed today, even more tensed than usual, her eyes constantly darting towards the corridor, from where we could hear the low murmur of voices.
I have been working here for two weeks and not once has someone come to visit him. Liam told me he never really has visitors.
So this was new. . .
'I think ... I'll leave them all to it.'
She said gazing out into the corridor, her thoughts far away.
'Jace. It's Jace, his old friend, from work,'
she said, suddenly turning towards me.
I got the feeling that this was in some way momentous, and that she needed
to share it with someone, even if it was just me.
'And Anna. They were...very close...for a bit... Hm... I - I think coffee would be lovely. Thank you, Mister Tomlinson.'
She said eyeing the guests wearily.
Very close?
Does she mean they were dating?
What was she doing here?
Why did Mrs Twist look so worried to see them?
I straightened my jumper and hair, making sure my baby blue butterfly pin was secured in place before I opened the door, leaning against it with my hip
so that I could balance the tray in my hands.
'Mrs Twist said you might like some coffee,'
I said as I entered the living room, placing the tray on the low table.
It was the one that gave into the tuscan style courtyard.
As I placed Edward's beaker in the holder of his chair, turning the straw so that he only needed to adjust his head position to reach it, I sneaked a look at his visitors.
It was the woman I noticed first.
Long-legged and blonde-haired, with pale caramel skin, she was the kind of woman who makes me wonder if humans really are all the same species.
She looked like a Goddess.
I had seen these kind of women on social media. Living the high life and drinking Starbucks and green tea.
This was definitely a green tea woman.
Everything about her smelt of money, of entitlement and a life lived as if through the pages of a glossy magazine.
Then I looked at her more closely and realized with a jolt that she was
the woman in Edward 's skiing photograph!!
I let out a small gasp and Edward looked up at me for a second before looking back at the guests.
He knows, that I know.
The women, Anna, had a tense composture and she looked really, really uncomfortable. As if she would rather be anywhere but here.
She leaned down to kiss Edward on the cheek , her sweet perfume suddenly overflowing my senses.
She stepped backwards, smiling awkwardly at him, putting her neatly cut short blonde hair behind her ears.
She was dressed in all black from head to toe. Looking like a vision.
She was wearing an oversized padded jacket on top of very tight, shiny, faux-leather pants and sharp black stilettos.
'You look...well,'
she said to him.
'Really. You've... you've grown your hair a bit.'
She said awkwardly before sitting down on the sofa in front of him.
Edward didn't say a thing.
He was just looking at her, his expression as unreadable as ever.
I felt a fleeting gratitude that it wasn't just me he looked at like that.
'New chair, eh?'
The man, Jace, tapped the back of Edward's chair awkwardly, chin compressed, nodding in approval as if he were admiring a top-of-the-range sports car.
"Looks ... pretty smart.Very...high-tech."
I knew in that instant that I didn't like any of them. And more so the man.
He looked like a jerk to me.
I didn't know what to do.
I stood there for a moment, shifting from one foot to another, until Edward's deep raspy voice broke into the silence.
'Lou, would you mind putting some more logs on the fire? I think it
needs building up a bit.'
It was the first time he had called me Lou, ever.
My cheeks turned pink as I nodded.
'S-sure,'
I said.
Before busying myself with the log burner, stoking the fire and sorting through the basket for logs of the right size.
'Gosh, it's cold outside,'
the woman said.
'It feels nice to have a proper fire.'
I opened the door of the wood burner, prodding at the glowing logs with
the poker.
'It's a good few degrees colder here than London.'
She added when she was answered by a complete silence from Edward.
'Yes, definitely,'
Jace agreed obviously trying to cut the awkwardness and failing miserably.
'I was thinking of getting a wood burner at home.
Apparently they're much more efficient than an open fire.'
Anna stooped a little to inspect this one, as if she'd never actually seen one before.
'Yes, I've heard that,'
the man said.
'I must look into it. One of those things you mean to do and then ... '
she trailed off.
'Lovely coffee,'
she added, after a pause.
I cringed and flicked my fringe out of my face.
Why are they being so weird?
What's their problem?
'So. . . what have you been up to, Harry ?'
The man's voice held a kind of
forced joviality to it.
I immediately sensed he was a proper hypocrite and that made me dislike him even more.
Wait a minute. . .
Did he just call Edward, Harry?
What?!
'Not very much, funnily enough.'
Edward replied dryly.
Why didn't Edward react to it?
Does this mean his name... is Harry?
It doesn't make any sense...
I'm so confused.
'But the physio and stuff. Is it all coming on? Any ... improvement?'
Jace asked.
The guy just doesn't seems to get the message. . .
'I don't think I'll be skiing any time soon, Jace'
Edward said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
I almost laughed at that, I had to bite my lips to contain myself.
This was the Edward I knew!
I began brushing ashes from the hearth. I had the feeling that they were all watching me.
The silence felt loaded.
I wondered if I had something stuck on my face and self consciously wiped my hands on my cheeks .
'So... '
Edward finally said.
'To what do I owe this pleasure? It's been what? two years?'
He said ,venom visible in his tone.
'Oh, I know. I'm sorry. It's been ...
I've been awfully busy. I opened a new
Boutique over in L.A.
I've been doing a lot of weekend work too.
It gets terribly busy on Saturdays. Very hard to get time off.'
Anna's voice had become brittle.
'I... I did ring a couple of times. Did your mother tell you?'
She said clearly uncomfortable with the subject.
And she was obviously lying.
Even a blind person could tell.
Two years??
Seriously they haven't come and visited him in two years?!
And how the fuck can you not find time to visit someone in two years??
Two weeks , two months, hell even a year, I would understand.
But that was all pure bullshit!
Edward's jaw ticked, and he did not even acknowledge her words.
'Things have been pretty manic at work for me as well.
You ... you know what it's like, Harry . We've signed a new artist.
Chap from New York. Luke Finn.
Have you heard of him?
He's the new rage in the industry. A brilliant guy!'
Jace said excitedly.
There it was again.
Harry. . .
Why does this man keeps calling Edward Harry?
'No.'
Edward said his grip strong on the armrest of his chair, his knuckles turning white.
I don't know what Jace was talking about , but it seemed to have triggered Edward pretty badly.
And why did that name sound so familiar to me?
Luke Finn?
Where have I heard it?
'Bloody man seems to work twenty-four hours a day and expects everyone
else to do the same.'
You could hear the man's palpable relief at having found a topic of discussion , seemingly unaware of Edward's discomfort .
'You know the old Yank work ethic - no
more long lunches, no smutty jokes - Harry , I tell you. The whole atmosphere of the studio has changed.'
'Really.'
Edward barely grit out.
His face turning stone cold at the mention of "studio".
What is this all about?
'Oh God, yes. It's getting boring. Same concepts , no innovations. Even the products aren't selling as good as it used to. It has all changed. Nothing like when you used to work.'
He said, before realizing he said something he shouldn't have.
Even I knew that Edward's past was a sensitive subject!
How dense is this man??
All the air seemed to have been sucked from the room in a vacuumed rush.
Everyone just stared at each other in a heavy silence.
Someone coughed.
I took it as my cue to get going.
I stood up, and wiped my hands on my jeans.
'I'll ... I'm just going to fetch
some more logs,'
I muttered, in Edward 's general direction.
And I picked up the basket and fled out of the room.
It was freezing outside, but I lingered out there, killing time while I
selected pieces of wood.
I was trying to decide whether I should go back or stay away.
Something was urging me to go and be there for Edward.
It was obviously hard on him.
But as much as I tried to stalk back, it was just too cold and my fingers were starting to turn blue , so I finally had to admit defeat.
I hauled the wood as slowly as possible, letting myself back inside the house, and walked slowly back down the corridor.
As I approached the living room I heard the woman's voice, weaving its way through the slightly open door.
'Actually, Harry , there is another reason for us coming here,'
she was saying.
'We ...have some... news.'
I hesitated by the door, the log basket braced between my hands.
'I thought...well, we thought... that it would only be right to let you
know... but, well, here's the thing.
Jace and I are getting married.'
I stood very still, thinking about whether I could turn around without being noticed.
The woman continued, lamely.
'Look, I know this is probably a bit of a
shock to you.
Actually, it was rather of a shock to me too.
We...it ...well, it only really started a long time after ... '
My arms had begun to ache.
I glanced down at the basket, trying to work out what to do.
'Well, you know you and I ... we ... '
Another weighty silence.
'Harry , please say something.'
She pleaded.
There was a long silence before Edward finally said in a raw voice. Almost as if the words were physically painful for him to get out.
'Congratulations,' he said.
'I know what you're thinking.
But neither of us meant for this to happen.
Really. For an awful long time we were just friends. Friends who were
concerned about you.
It's just that Jace was the most terrific support to me after your accident ...'
She said her voice small.
'Big of him.'
Edward snapped , letting out a chilling chuckle.
'Please don't be like this. This is so awful. I have absolutely dreaded telling you. We both have.'
She whined.
'Evidently,'
Edward said flatly.
I peeked inside the room and saw Edward staring straight ahead of him, a nerve ticking like a time bomb on his forehead, knuckles clenched harshly on his chair, face red.
Jace's voice broke in.
'Look, we're only telling you because we both care about you. We didn't want you to hear it from someone else. But, you know, life goes on. You must know that. It's been three years, after all.'
There was a long silence.
I realized that I should not eavesdrop, that it was a private conversation, and started to move softly away from the door, grunting slightly with the effort.
But Jace's voice, when it came again, had grown in volume so that I could
still hear him.
'Come on, man. I know it must be terribly hard ... all this. But if you care
for Annie at all, you must want her to have a good life.'
Silence again.
'Say something, Harry. Please.'
Anna begged.
I could picture his face.
I could see that look of his that managed to be both unreadable and conveying a kind of distant contempt.
'Congratulations,' he finally said.
His voice hard.
'I'm sure you'll both be very happy.'
Anna started to protest then, there was a slight indistinct murmur and then Jace talked again.
'Come on, Annie. I think we should leave. Harry, it's not like we came here expecting your blessing.
It was a courtesy.
Annie thought... well, we both just thought ...you should know. Sorry, old chap. I ... I do hope things improve for you and I hope you do want to stay in touch when things ... you know ... when things settle down a bit.'
I heard footsteps, and stooped over the basket of logs, as if I had only just
walked in.
I heard them in the corridor and then Anna appeared in front of me.
Her eyes were red-rimmed, as if she were about to cry.
'Can I use the bathroom?'
she said, her voice thick and choked.
I slowly lifted a finger and pointed mutely in its direction.
She looked at me hard then, and I realized that what I felt probably showed on my face.
I have never been good at hiding my feelings. Anyways after what I overheard, she does not deserve my sympathy.
'I know what you're thinking,'
she said, after a pause.
'But I did try. I really tried. For months. And he just pushed me away.'
Her jaw was rigid, her expression oddly furious.
'He actually didn't want me here. He made that very clear.'
She seemed to be waiting for me to say something.
But I just kept silent.
It didn't take me long to find that Edward was still very much in love with her.
His eyes screamed it from the moment I walked into that room. I knew she didn't try hard enough.
I could only guess how hard it was for him to stay away from her. I'm sure he kept her away for her own good.
But deep down was hoping for her to stay. To try some more. But she obviously left. Leaving him broken behind.
That man needed love. He needed it so badly that they were willing to hire anyone to cheer him up. To bring back a smile on his face.
Pull him off this sad routine he had fallen into.
But I don't know if that was even achievable. After today I had realised that life wasn't done hurting him yet. The pain seemed to be constant. And it kept adding.
Would I really be enough?
Will I be able to help?
Was it too late to save him?
'It's really none of my business,'
I said, eventually, my tone cold.
We both stood facing each other, me daring her with my eyes.
'You know, you can only actually help someone who wants to be helped,'
she said.
And then she was gone.
I waited a couple of minutes, listening for the sound of their car disappearing down the drive, and then I went into the living room.
'I was wondering if you wanted me to -' I began.
But there was nobody there.
The room was empty.
Edward had left. . .
It was then that I heard the crash.
My eyes widened, heart in my throat as
I ran out into the corridor just in time to hear another, followed by the sound of splintering glass.
It was coming from Edward's bedroom.
Oh God, please don't let him have hurt himself!!
Please no.
No.
No .
I panicked... Mrs Twist's warning drilled through my head. I had left him for more than fifteen minutes.
Please let him be safe!
I ran down the corridor, slid to a halt in the doorway and stood, both hands
gripping the door frame out ot breath.
Edward was in the middle of the room, upright in his chair, a walking stick clutched in between his shaky hands.
There was not a single photograph left on the long shelves; the expensive frames laying in pieces all over the floor, the carpet studded with glittering shards of glass.
His lap was dusted with bits of glass and splintered wood frames.
Harry's POV:
Deep down, spinning from within, piercing blades of glass splinter on my skin,
I don't know where to begin with.
I kept bleeding furthermore.
Little rivers of blood dripping down my skin.
Coating everything crimson.
Darkness covered the blackened portals of my mind,
these corridors of lingering yet haunting memories.
Haunting me ever since the accident.
I keep running away from them,
only to find even more devastating tragedies waiting for me around the corners...
I can't stop the black tar from cascading within,
pulling me like gravity,
this intense quicksand won't ever release me!
Fighting my every attempt to break free...
I was lost so far now, deep within my mind ,
trapped inside my reality.
Each mirrors and reflections shattered beyond repair.
I just can't stop myself from reminiscing the vivid memories in a continual loop over and over again, never to fade...
They never stop !
Eyes open or eyes closed it does not matter ,
for it keeps playing that parade constantly.
I just want it to stop!
I do not want to feel this,
I do not want to feel anything!
I wish the paralysis affected my brain and emotions, and froze it all along my body.
I do not want think this way.
As if my life got delayed.
Put on an infinite hiatus.
My dreams once held so much hope and beauty.
Now they are long gone...
Unreachable.
My weak fingers unable to catch them.
They won't be able to hold anything.
No laughter, no happiness...
No love...
The nightmare I live in, keeps repeating, like a broken record.
Never stopping once.
Drowning me within its shadows,
Sipping through my lungs and invading my veins.
I am over...
Oh Anna...
My downfall, my muse
My worst distraction, my rhythm... my blues.
You don't even know what you do to me.
Every time I see your face...
There's only so much I can take.
Anna.
Anna.
Anna.
*
I took in the scene of destruction, feeling my heart rate shooting up when I saw that his hands had scratched against the shards and that he was bleeding profusely.
Edward was breathing hard.
His chair turned, crunching slightly on the glass. His eyes met mine. They
were infinitely weary.
They dared me to offer him sympathy.
I gulped down. Sweat breaking on my face, heart aching for him.
I looked down at his lap, and then at the floor around him , blood dripping all over the place.
I could just make out the picture of him and Anna, her face now obscured by a bent silver frame, amongst the other casualties.
I swallowed, staring at it, and slowly lifted my eyes to meet his.
Those few seconds were the longest I could remember.
I was trying my best to stay calm. I didn't want to upset him more than he already was. I knew me freaking out over him would only fuel his anger some more.
So I took a deep breath and put on an amused smile. The best one I could muster, in this situation.
'Can that thing get a puncture?'
I said, finally, nodding at his wheelchair.
'Because I have no idea where I would put the jack!'
His eyes widened. Just for a moment, I thought I had really blown it this time.
Good going Louis!
But then his face broke into a smile, deep dimples carving into his cheeks, glowing with the ambers of his gaze.
My breath caught in my throat.
He's an angel, I think, watching his divine, secretive lips shine in their glossiness.
I stand aback, watching, mesmerized by his beauty.
And then I gasped out loud.
"You've got dimples!"
Edward's smile only widened at my surprise and he threw his head back, letting out a hearty laugh.
The sound making butterflies erupt in my stomach.
Watching in awe the way his lips moved, the little twitches in his dimples.
The sounds he made when he laughed.
At that moment all I wanted was to stand there and stare at his face and just watch him smile forever.
"Good observation Mister Tomlinson."
He said with an amused twinkle in his eyes.
"Now close your mouth or you'll catch a fly."
He winked at me and I think my heart just stopped beating.
I think I just had a heart attack.
I think I just died for a second right there .
I closed my mouth, and blushed profusely, looking down at my shoes. Suddenly overcome with shyness.
I wringed my hands in nervousness and looked up at him again, finding him looking at me with a smirk.
I blushed some more before my eyes fell on his hands and realised he needed to be cleaned.
'Please, don't move,'
I whispered.
'I'll be right back.'
I said before rushing out the door.
I heard the walking stick drop to the floor and a long sigh escaping his lips.
I came back seconds later with a first aid box and cleaning equipments.
I decided to clear the broken frames first before anyone gets hurt again.
I started vacuuming the mess with shaky hands , feeling Edward's intense gaze on my back.
I made sure no piece had been left behind in the room before finally turning to face Edward again.
He was staring at me with an unreadable expression. Face back to being serious.
But this time it seemed relaxed.
I knelt down in front of him , his blood sipping through my jeans.
I gently took his hands in mine and started wiping the blood out, dipping a clean gauze in a bowl of water.
His hands shook a little in between mine but otherwise everything was still and silent.
I could feel his burning gaze on my face.
I took deep shaky breaths , and kept going. Trying my best not to faint from overwhelm.
"T-this is going to b-burn a little bit."
I said looking up at him, our eyes finally meeting.
He held my gaze unwaveringly , but as expected he didn't reply.
I took it as a cue to keep going. I put rubbing alcohol on a small cotton ball and started wiping his hands clean.
He flinched at the first contact but besides that he stayed put and silent. I blew on each cuts while applying the solution knowing it helped sooth the pain away.
When I was sure each cuts were thoroughly clean, I put bandaids on them.
I looked up at him when I was done. Patting his hand and giving him a shy smile.
" All done."
He stayed unmoving for a while and I sighed before getting up and gathering all the trash.
I didn't know what I expected?
Just because he smiled at me didn't mean he was suddenly going to start liking me!
I was just about to leave when. . .
"Thank you."
His voice was raw but sincere , unlike the other times.
There was no sarcasm and snarky comments following it.
I stilled in shock and turned around to look at him.
He was staring back at me, face indecipherable.
"I...I..."
I tried to come up with something to say but the minions in my mind had gone completely bananas.
I finally cleared my throat and nodded.
His eyes travelled down my body to my jeans and his eyes widened slightly.
"Your pants..."
I looked down and saw the big stains of blood on my clothes and looked up at him.
"Yeah... I'll just...I'll put them to wash."
I said before bringing the mop and wiping down the floor, and his chair as best as I could.
When I was done, I looked at him and hesitantly asked.
"Do you want me to change y-your clothes ? They're also s-stained."
I said a blush creeping up my cheeks.
He silently scanned my face for a moment. I knew I shouldn't have asked.
He is going to snap at me...
But to my surprise he nodded.
I walked to his bedroom and he followed behind me.
I grabbed clean clothes for him to change into.
I had never changed him before... this was new...
I turned to him, a black shirt and grey shorts in hand.
"I-is this okay?"
I asked unsure if he would agree on my choice.
He nodded and I approached him nervously.
Okay. So this is it.
I'm going to take off my boss's clothes...
This is weird.
Shut up Lou it's not weird!
It's okay. He's disabled.
It's normal for him.
Liam does that everyday.
It doesn't need to be weird.
You're just doing your job.
It's just my job.
This is not weird...
this is sooo not weird...
I bent over and started unbuttoning his shirt with quivering hands.
He let out a shaky sigh and I looked up at him in surprise.
That's when I realised how close we were. Our faces were barely inches apart. His harsh breaths hitting my face, in a soft minty caress.
I blushed and quickly looked down continuing with the task in hand.
I finally reached the last button and started slidding his shirt off.
It was the first time I had ever seen him uncovered.
He was really skinny.
Yet well built, broad shoulders and milky smooth skin.
My eyes widened at the sight of his tattoos. Littering every corners of his skin.
I read the black script, interpreting the symbolism in the scattered signs and images engraved upon the canvas laying before me.
Another door opening for me , leading me deeper into the rabbit hole, deeper towards the truth behind Edward Twist.
Unfortunately this story only gives up its secrets to their keeper, as I catch in stolen glances, small images in the daylight.
The walls of his temple, embellished with ink, every image sharing a story
his words cannot echo.
Some people would gaze upon this art
and view it as destruction, impulsive acts, reckless,vandalism of a sanctuary.
But I always thought,
why leave a canvas bare?
Why leave it remaining a mere muted visage within the gallery of society?
We should flaunt our hues, expression inhibited with pride, like an ardent peacock, unafraid of rejection, head unbowed.
Be proud of our inked skin.
I looked up at him in surprise as he looked tickled by my reaction.
"Y-you have t-tattoos..."
I said eyes going back to his chest.
He let out a chuckle.
"I am aware Louis."
There it was again.
Louis.
It sounded beautiful,
coming from his mouth ,
echoed in his deep voice..
The way my name rolled out of his lips gave me goosebumps. The mellifluous tones of his voice putting my heart in tumult. Affected by the sound he made, losing myself in reverie.
Was it the tenderness in his voice?
Or perhaps the words he uttered?
Or his cloying expression?
I am not so sure...
Whatever it was ,
made my heart sing with glee.
How strange yet astonishing it was, to feel everything all at once, just by hearing the sweet sound of my name rolling off his lips...
I couldn't help but trace one the birds on his collarbones with my fingertips, in awe.
His skin smooth under mine.
He let out a gasp at the feather like touch and I quickly retracted my hands back, as if burned by the contact.
I blushed a deep red.
"S-sorry... I... I didn't... sorry."
I blushed again when I saw the burning flames in his eyes.
He didn't say anything. Just stared at me with that passion of his. It was unnerving.
I settled on going back to undressing him.
I unbuttoned his pants with trembling hands and a deeper blush crept down my neck all the way down to my chest. Feeling like I was burning up alive.
It was hot in here.
I didn't meet his eyes when I slid his pants down coming face to face with his crotch.
I couldn't help but notice the giant bulge in his pants.
I almost choked at the sight and scurried up to my feet as fast as I could.
I took the clean shirt in my trembling hands and started slidding his arms in the holes and buttoning it back up as fast as I could.
My face felt like it was on fire.
I wonder what he's thinking
right now...
I looked up and immediately regretted it... he was already looking at me.
The intensity in his eyes almost unbearable.
He licked his lips and I couldn't help but look at the way the pink tip of his tongue brushed against the rose of his plush lips.
Harry's POV:
I never believed that I was a piece of art,
until you admired my ink.
Suddenly, my skin had turned into fine marble, and my eyes a mixture of watercolors.
My hair were strokes from a paintbrush.
And my laugh could inspire an artist to create a masterpiece from the grave.
While you traced my ink in the morning sun,
you saw right through me,
you looked behind the darkness that has become my home.
And as your fingertips followed
along the silhouettes of my embedded ink,
I wanted to cover my whole body with it,
just so you could memorize every inch of me.
Beneath your soft touch I felt as though I was a piece of paper that had just been engulfed by flames.
I ache for you to touch me again.
You dehumanized me.
You framed my body as fine art and you put me on a pedestal to be admired.
And damn did it feel good. . .
I knew that instant that you loved them, as much as I do.
But I was jealous of the way, the ink instantly captured your attention in a way that I never could. . .
*
I blushed deeper, if that was even possible at that point, and quickly finished buttoning up his shirt.
Stepping back.
Feeling oddly dizzy.
I took the shorts in my hands and slid each foot in the corresponding hole. Struggling to keep my balance.
He was still quite heavy, despite being so skinny.
I struggled some more to slid the shorts up his legs. But I finally managed it.
By the time I was done with it ,I was panting. Running out of breath.
I gasped a little before taking his dirty clothes and gathering everything up in my hands.
Vacuum and first aid kit along with the trash and mop, everything precariously hanging from my hands.
"I... I'll be in the k-kitchen if you need me."
I said looking at his amused face.
He didn't say anything, just watched me disappear down the hallway, a small smile playing on his lips, eyes looking far away.
****
I was perched up on a stool sipping through a mug of tea humming to myself whilst kicking my feet back and forth like a small child.
I had put the trash out. Loaded our dirty clothes in the machine. And washed the dishes.
I was only covered by a loose sweater and panties, having taken my jeans off to be washed, when Edward rolled into the kitchen.
He abruptly stopped when he caught sight of me, eyes wide and mouth agape.
I blushed furiously as I watched his gaze fall from the top of my sweater, all the way down my bare legs to my sock clads feet.
I cleared my throat and tried to hide my embarrassment, sitting up straight and pushing the hem of my sweater downwards. Trying to cover myself as much as I could.
"S-sorry... my p-pants are in the dishwasher... uh... I mean ... the washer machine. Ugn... The...The washing machine..."
I stuttered miserably, my face heating up and turning red all over again.
I groaned and hid my face in my hands in embarrassment.
I heard him chuckle, unleashing the thousands of moths that seemed to have made a permanent residence in my stomach. Going wild at each sound Edward made. Feeding from it. Relishing in it.
I heard the soft hum of his chair as he approached me and stopped right in front of me.
My feet grazing his legs.
"Tea?"
He asked me with a twinkle in his eyes and a smirk on his lips.
Gosh... why was he so beautiful?
In lack of words , I nodded in response and scurried down the counter to fulfil his demand.
I bent down over the cabinets in search of the pot, before standing up on my tippy toes to get him a mug.
Unaware of how my jumper had ridden up each times, exposing more than it should.
Or the way Edward's eyes followed the curve of my back in appreciation, lips trapped between his teeth, or how he he barely contained his gasp at the sight of my lavender lace panties.
*
After I was done with his tea, I had sat down next to him, bringing the lukewarm brew to his lips.
He had kept his eyes on me the whole time, as we both silently drank our tea.
Even though his presence made me nervous, and his intense gaze slightly self conscious, the time flew by peacefully.
Only this time, I was very acutely aware of the way his gaze fell on my bare legs every once in a while.
His gaze burning my skin, and leaving it all tingly.
I didn't feel creeped out.
No, it almost felt like a silent caress... as soft as a butterfly's touch on rose petals.
I liked it.
****
Adam and Eve was always busy on Thursday evenings, and in this corner of the club it was even busier.
I sat between Dani and a man whose name appeared to be the Alexander, and tried to look even vaguely interested in the talk around me, which seemed to revolve chiefly around business and all kinds of share holders.
I always thought the fortnightly meetings of Dani and his friends were publican's worst nightmares.
As I was the only one drinking beer and eating fries, while they sipped expensive champagne and ate fancy entrées.
When they, finally, ordered food there wouldn't be a salad that was allowed to brush a leaf against a full-fat dressing, or a piece of chicken that still sported its skin.
They ate healthy.
Ew.
I often ordered cheese filled greasy pizzas, just so that I could watch them all pretend they didn't want one.
I am slightly evil what do you want me to say?
How is that my fault, if they want to starve themselves?
Serves them right!
They would debate on topics like wether or not online marketplaces actually helped the local economy.
Or where in the world it is easier to get rich. Where to buy the cheapest products. Which university had the most promising future employees ect...
I couldn't say I enjoyed their gatherings, but what with my increased work hours and Dani's busy schedule it was one of the few times I could be guaranteed to see him.
He sat beside me, muscular body clad in a perfectly pressed suit.
Not a wrinkle in sight.
That seemed to be the dress code here. I on the other hand couldn't care less. I was on my time off. Here to take a breath and chill, even though it was quasi impossible in between these stuck up people, so there was no way I would go through that hassle.
I was wearing a casual outfit. A loose jean jacket, on top of a pastel pink t-shirt. And tight skinny jeans.
I felt usually teasy today, so I went for the one that had rips all over, and more specifically, on the butt cheeks ;)
And of course not to forget the peach colored butterfly hair pin nestled safely on my hair.
I was not wearing any underwear...
It was a badge of honour among his friend groupe to wear fancy clothes, no matter where they went.
The men were wiry, brandishing dark and expensive layers that boasted "I'm rich and classy".
They were called David or Jeremy, and flexed bits of knowledge at each other, displaying their recent achievements.
The girls wore tonnes of make-up, and bathed in perfume.
It was almost suffocating.
They always looked at me with a faint distaste , or perhaps even incomprehension , no doubt, outraged at my fashion choices and careless attitude towards calories and diet.
*
Dani had an arm wrapped around my waist and was leaning down to give me soft kisses all over the face, from my temple, to my cheeks and finally my to lips.
"Baby, are you okay? How was your day?"
He whispered burying his head in my hair.
'It was good"
I answered.
Not really knowing if the disaster that unfold, following Edward's friends departure could fall under that category.
But seeing as we spent the rest of the day in a seemingly good mood, I could say it was one of the best days I've had so far, working at Coco house.
I was wondering whether I could order a cheesecake without them all giving me the "Death Stare".
But I did it anyway.
What? I love cheese and cake?
And when you combine it , it just turns into a dreamy creamy delight, that makes the angels sings from above.
*
"Dani?"
I asked him softly, taking his hands in mine , playing with his fingers nervously.
He turned towards me, giving me a small peck on the lips.
"Yes baby?"
I took a deep breath and wondered if I could ask him...
"W-would you still love me if I was in a wheelchair?"
He raised his brows in surprise, definitely not expecting the question.
He hesitated and gave me deep long look.
Finally he sighed and took hold of my hands and kissed the back of my hands.
"Of course I would baby, why do you ask?"
I shrugged... not knowing wether I should tell him about Anna or not.
I mean the contracts doesn't legally allow me , but this is Dani.
I can trust him.
I just I don't feel right displaying such a private part of Edward's life.
"It's just that... Edward my boss, he used to have a girlfriend, but they broke up after the accident."
I finally settled on saying.
'You can't blame her,'
he said.
'Are you really telling me you'd stick
around if I was paralysed from the neck down?'
'Of course I would!"
I told him completely outraged that he would think differently.
'No, you wouldn't. And I wouldn't expect you to.'
He said rolling his eyes.
'Well, I would.'
I said crossing my arms against my chest.
'But I wouldn't want you there. I wouldn't want someone staying with me out of pity.'
'Who says it would be out of pity? You'd still be the same person underneath. I would stay because I love you!'
I said passionately.
'No, I wouldn't. I wouldn't be anything like the same person.'
He wrinkled his nose in distaste at the idea.
'I wouldn't want to live. Relying on other people for every little thing.
Having strangers wipe your arse -'
A man with long red hair called him.
'Dan,' he said,
'have you tried the new program for the office Nigel was talking about, last week? It's amazing! I just bought a few of them for me and my employees. Changed my life."
'I haven't yet. But I'm planning on buying it as well. Might help with sorting out the files properly. '
The man nodded and Dani turned back to me, apparently still pondering Edward's fate.
'Jesus. Think of all the things you couldn't do ... '
He shook his head.
'No more running, no more cycling.'
He looked at me as if it had just occurred to him.
'No more sex.'
'Of course you could have sex. It's just that the person would have to get on top.'
I told him.
'We'd be stuffed, then.'
He said cheekily.
'Funny.'
I rolled my eyes at him.
'Besides, if you're paralysed from the neck down I'm guessing the... um ... equipment doesn't work as it should.'
He said.
In Edward's case I knew his "equipment" worked just fine, since Liam told me he wasn't completely paralysed, he just couldn't move properly.
Or maybe that affected his performances as well??
I thought of Anna.
I did try.
I really tried. For months.
'I'm sure it does with some people. Anyway, there must be a way around these things if you ... think imaginatively.'
I said taking a sip of my beer.
'Hah.'
Dani took a sip of his wine.
'You'll have to ask him tomorrow, I guess.
Look, you said he's horrible.
Perhaps he was horrible before his accident.
Perhaps that's the real reason she dumped him.
Have you thought of that?'
'I don't know ... '
I said taken aback by his words. I thought of the photograph and the way he behaves when he's in a better mood.
'They looked like they were really happy together.'
His eyes screamed his love for her. I just knew he loved her more than anything.
Dani had lost interest in our conversation already. He shrugged and turned to his friend.
'Hey, Jeremy ... did you take a look at that new Microsoft software? Any good?'
I let him change the subject, thinking about what Anna had said.
I could well imagine Edward pushing her away.
But surely if you loved someone it was
your job to stick with them?
To help them through the depression? In sickness and in health, and all that?
'Another drink?'
Dani asked me
'Vodka tonic. Slimline tonic,' I said, as he raised an eyebrow at me.
Dani shrugged and headed to the bar.
I had started to feel a little guilty about the way we were discussing Edward's life.
Especially when I realized that he probably endured it all the time.
It was almost impossible not to speculate about the more intimate aspects of his life...
I tuned out.
There was talk of a going to Spain for the weekend.
I was only listening with half an ear, until Dani reappeared at my side and nudged me.
'Fancy it?'
He asked me.
'What?'
' A weekend in Spain?
Instead of the Greek holiday.'
I thought of Mrs Twist and most specially of Edward.
'I don't know ... I'm not sure they're going to be keen on me taking time off so soon.'
'You mind if I go, then? I really fancy going on a break and chill by the beach.'
'Sure. Go for it' I finally said.
I ended up ordering another cheesecake.
****
If I thought the events of the previous day would create a thaw back at Coco House, I was wrong.
I greeted Edward with a broad smile and a cheery hello, and he didn't even
bother to look around from the window.
My smile faltered and the mood fell.
'Not a good day,'
Liam murmured to me, as he shouldered his way into his coat.
It was a filthy, low-cloud sort of a morning, where the rain spat meanly
against the windows and it was hard to imagine the sun coming out ever
again.
Even I felt glum on a day like this.
It wasn't really a surprise that Edward
should be worse.
I began to work my way through the morning's chores, telling myself all the while that it didn't matter.
You can't always be happy, can you ?
*
The photographs were stacked carefully in the bottom drawer, where I had
placed them the previous day, and now, crouched on the floor, I began laying
them out and sorting through them, assessing which frames I might be able to fix.
I am quite good at fixing things. Besides, I thought it might be a
useful way of killing time.
I had been doing this for about ten minutes when the discreet hum of the
motorized wheelchair alerted me of Edward 's arrival.
He sat there in the doorway, looking at me. There were dark shadows under
his eyes.
Sometimes, Liam told me, he barely slept at all.
I didn't want to think how it would feel, to lie trapped in a bed you couldn't get out of, with only dark thoughts to keep you company , through the night.
Did he have nightmares?
Paralyzed , held in their traumatic grasp, lurking somewhere in the darkness waiting, waiting to pounce
hurling him in a terror filled zone
waking, shaking, uncontrollably
drenched in fear's cold sweat.
Like frost upon the evening roses.
I shuddered at the thought.
Did the shadows whisper as he slept?
While awake, did the Shadow scream?
Did they dances across the walls?
Did they come and haunt him?
'I thought I'd see if I could fix any of these frames,'
I said, holding one up.
It was the picture of him bungee jumping.
I tried to look cheerful , giving him my best smile.
He needs someone upbeat, someone positive around him.
'Why?'
He asked voice raw... as if he had screamed the night away.
I blinked , at the vision appearing in my mind.
'Well ... I think some of these can be saved. I brought some wood glue with me, if you're happy for me to have a go at them.
Or if you want to replace them I can pop into town during my lunch break and see if I can find some more.
Or we could both go, if you fancied a trip out ... '
'Who told you to start fixing them?'
He snapped viciously, stare unflinching.
Uh-oh.
You messed up again Louis!
'I ... I was just trying to help.'
I squeaked out. Voice small.
Wanting to curl up to myself under his burning stare.
'You wanted to fix what I did yesterday.'
He sated, voice dripping in barely kept anger.
'I -'
'Do you know what, Louis ? It would be nice, just for once, if someone
paid attention to what I wanted.
Me smashing those photographs was not an accident.
It was not an attempt at radical interior design.
It was because I actually don't want to look at them!'
His voice raised, the vein in his temple pulsing in rage.
I got to my feet. Heart racing , eyes welling up.
'I'm sorry. I didn't think that -'
'You thought you knew best.
Everyone thinks they know what I need! Let's put the bloody photos back together.
Give the poor invalid something to look
at.
I don't want to have those bloody pictures staring at me every time I'm
stuck in my bed until someone comes and bloody well gets me out again!
Okay? !
Do you think you can get your head around that?!'
I swallowed harshly and nodded my head. The white butterfly on my head flopping its wings wildly.
'I wasn't going to fix the one of Anna... I'm not that stupid ... I just thought that in a while you might feel ...'
I said with a shaky voice.
'Oh Christ ... '
He turned away from me, his voice scathing.
'Spare me the psychological therapy. Just go and read your bloody gossip magazines or whatever it is you do when you're not making tea.'
My cheeks turned aflame.
I watched him manoeuvre in the narrow hallway, and my voice emerged even before I knew what I was doing.
'You don't have to behave like an ass!'
I said impulsively.
The words ringing out in the still air.
The wheelchair stopped.
There was a long pause, and then he reversed and turned slowly, so that he was facing me, his hand clutching the little joystick.
'What?'
He asked me, daring me to say it again.
I faced him, my heart thumping.
'Your friends got the shitty treatment.
Fine.
They probably deserved it.
But I'm just here day after day trying to do the best job I can!
So I would really appreciate it if you didn't make my life as miserable as you do everyone else's!"
Edward's eyes widened a little.
There was a beat before he spoke again.
'And what if I told you I didn't want you here?'
'I'm not employed by you.
I'm employed by your mother.
And unless she tells me she doesn't want me here anymore, I'm staying.
Not because I particularly care about this stupid job and your harsh words!
And I don't want to change your life!
I'm no therapist.
And instead of welling up in your misery maybe you should open your eyes and see that you have it way better than the rest of us.
Having the ablitly to move isn't everything! There's so much more to life.
And... I need the money. Okay?
I really need the money. I am struggling myself. Trying my best not to be a burden on others.
And I thought you out of all people would understand that!"
Edward expression hadn't outwardly changed much but I thought I saw astonishment in there, as if he were unused to anyone disagreeing with him.
Bloody hell, what have I done??!
I started to sweat, as the reality of what I said began to sink in.
I've really blown it this time.
But Edward just stared at me for a bit and, when I didn't look away, he let out
a small breath, as if about to say something unpleasant, and deciding against it at the last moment.
'Fair enough,'
he said, and he turned the wheelchair around.
'Just put the photographs back in the bottom drawer, will you? All of them.'
And with a low hum, he was gone.
Here you go :)
Hope you liked it.
Please don't forget to vote and comment you thoughts.
🖤
Sending you all the Love!
🖤
Here's a quote that I live by:
"The truth is ,
everyone is going to hurt you.
You just got to find the ones
worth suffering for."
BOB MARLEY
🖤
I say focus on yourself
and
work on being
the only one who's NOT
going to hurt you.
The one who's going to bring you joy and happiness.
The one who's going to put you first.
The one who's going to look after you.
The one who's going to be considerate of your feelings
And what you are going through.
No one knows you better than
YOU do.
Be your one and only.
Be the Love of your life.
Give yourself the Love you are desperately seeking from others!
Stay safe
And
Treat YOURSELF with kindness!
🖤🖤🖤