Motivation! Lol So I went back to read the last chapter and I noticed that there were a lot of spelling errors :/ I apologize I was lazy and didn't want to proof and I am still lazy so I'm not going back to fix them yet :p haha So thanks for voting and commenting I was surprised to find that the other day my story was number 6! That's the highest it's ever been so thank you! :D
I know I've been posting less and less and I am sorry but I've been busy and well this week is just getting busier. I probably won't post again until Friday. I am really sorry but I think I will have to go back to posting on the weekends. School is just getting more hectic and it is more important than writing unfortunately. So thank you for bearing with me. I hope you like the new chapter! BTW this isn't the full party scene, it's just the beginning. There will be more so no worries J Oh and please give me feedback, like what should add or what I should take away. Or if it's not going together or making sense just let me know, I really want it to flow together and have it actually mean something.
"...What?" I asked hesitantly.
His grin widened, "Don't go to the party. We can go do something else, like go to the movies or something."
I frowned. I didn't want to miss the party, as much as I didn't want to talk to Les. It was Nate's birthday and I don't want to disappoint him by not showing up. I don't think Nicole would like me skipping it either.
"I-I can't do that. It is a friend's birthday and I have to be there." I told him.
His grin fell but he put his elbow on the table resting his head on his fist, thinking. A minute later his expression brightened and he straightened up to look at me.
"I know! Why don't I go to the party with you? That way I can stay around you the whole time and not let him talk to you." He suggested.
I gave him a blank stare. Is that a good idea? Les would probably get angry at me for taking someone to the party and ignoring him even more...Wait a minute! That could work. Maybe he might even get jealous like I was the other day. Oh man! Revenge is sweet.
An evil grin slowly made its way onto my face, "That might be a good idea."
Holden and I made plans for him to bring me to the party before Renee and Georgia came back. On the way home Renee kept looking to me and smiling. Eventually I got to the point where I could no longer take it.
"What Renee?!" I sighed annoyed.
She glanced at me, still grinning like an idiot, "So you and Holden are going to a party tonight?"
"Yes." I said not telling her the real reason behind us going together.
She nodded then lifted her head up like she was so proud of herself for getting us together. I rolled my eyes. If she only knew...
I was starting to get a little excited about the party but I was worried how this was going to turn out. What if Les doesn't even come? Or what if he gets really mad and we stop being friends. Wow. I don't even want to think about that. I know that I am ignoring him right now but I don't want to stop being friends with him. I am just hoping to make a point that he can't keep treating me like this. I am his best friend and he should be telling me what is wrong. Right?
At home there wasn't much to do so I sat in my room doing homework, listening to music, anything that would keep me busy and my mind off of Les. Half an hour before the time that Holden said that he would come I started to get ready. I plugged in my Ipod into speakers and cranked up the volume to my favorite band, All Time Low. I really can't believe that Holden went on tour with them. That is so cool. I would do anything just to get an autograph, but the dude spent months with them! I was so jealous.
Singing along to Therapy, I stood in front of my full length mirror. I looked at my reflection and felt my heart tighten in my chest as my mind went straight back to Les. Why was this happening? Couldn't there be some way that Les could tell me his problem then we could go back to normal. I stared into my brown eyes trying to search for the answer. Why didn't he just tell me? He said that I would find out eventually, why not now? There had to be a reason for his sudden secrecy. I was not going to let him get away that easily. Maybe ignoring him tonight would work. If I showed him that I wasn't happy with the way he was treating and keeping things from me, maybe he would feel bad and open up? I closed my eyes, no longer wanting to look at my reflection. I shook my head slowly as I took a deep breath. I didn't know what would happen but all I could hope for was that everything would end okay. That everyone would be happy in the end.
I opened my eyes again and took in my appearance fully, getting my mind off of Les. I was still in the dress that Renee had bought me. It was really cute and I was happy that Renee had gotten it for me. I wasn't really someone that would wear dresses but since I was going to a party tonight, I would keep it on. Now that my hair was dry, I took it out of the braid that I had put it into earlier so it would be wavy. The dark brown waves fell past my shoulders and I ran my fingers through them quickly making sure there weren't any snarls. I re-adjusted the bow in my hair then took one last look at myself and hoped that I looked pretty enough for the party. So yeah, maybe I was hoping that Les would get a little jealous when I showed up with Holden. I knew that somewhere, deep down...hopefully, Les had the same feelings that I did for him. I probably just had to make him see that if I was gone that he would miss me. Years of friendship had to have strengthened his feelings to a less platonic level. It sure had for me.
I groaned in frustration. I was starting to get angry at myself. I couldn't even go two minutes without my mind drifting back to Les. If things didn't work out the way I wanted I had to pull myself out of this obsession I had with him. I needed to learn that my world didn't revolve around Les. For some reason though, I couldn't get my heart to rationalize like my brain was. It was telling me to keep pushing until I got the answers that I need.
Before heading downstairs I went to my closet and got Nate's present. I smiled when I thought of how he would react to it. I personally thought it was funny. I just hope he did too. There was a brief moment when I wondered if Les really would show up without a gift but I shook the thought out of my mind. I need to stop thinking about him. I heard the doorbell and I smiled slightly knowing it was Holden. I left my room pausing briefly to make sure that I had everything then made my way downstairs. When I got down there Renee had already opened the door and was chatting animatedly with Holden while he smiled and nodded his head chuckling. I stopped dead in my tracks as soon as I saw them. They didn't even notice I was there. My lips curled into a small smile as I saw the chemistry between them. They were both talking and smiling. They actually looked really cute together. Renee was just the right height for his tall figure, better than my height would be. She was just a few inches taller than me. My mind started to formulate a plan. Since Holden was being so nice and helping me tonight maybe I could help him by setting him up with Renee. It could help him get over the girl he was having problems with. Also, it would be a good payback to Renee for setting me up with him. I smiled wider at the thought. I was going to set up the guy with my sister, who set him up with me.
I cleared my throat with a grin on my face. They both abruptly stopped talking and looked over to me. They both had a faint smile on their lips and Renee looked at me with a little guilt in her eyes? Hmmm maybe she did like Holden. That would be beneficial.
"Hey Ruth." Holden greeted me.
"Hey." I smirked.
He raised his eyebrow questioningly but I shook my head dismissing whatever he was thinking. He frowned in confusion but quickly smiled as he turned back to Renee.
"So I guess we are going now." He said then turned to me.
"Ready?" He asked.
I smiled and nodded and followed him outside. I told Renee bye and she just winked at me and smiled.
During the short ride to Nicole and Nate's house, I started to get really anxious. There were so many reasons why I didn't want to go any longer, but I knew that I had to. The first reason is that I haven't been to a party in a while, I am not very good around large groups of people. I tend to feel claustrophobic. The second reason is Les. I am afraid that if I see him I will break down and apologize and forget about everything that has happened and I can't do that. I need to stick to my guns and get him to realize that I deserve to know what is going on. I am also afraid that he might get mad. I have been ignoring him for a reason he doesn't know and he will probably try to talk to me about it tonight. I just hope Holden's plan works.
That thought made me wonder why Holden was even doing this in the first place. I mean, it was nice of him to do but we just met today. Why would he want to help me? Especially since he is twenty-two. Why would he want to go to a birthday party full of high school strangers? There had to be a reason for him to want to help. The mysteriousness of that made me a little uneasy. I am planning to set him up as a thank you, but does he have his own idea of payment? Oh no! I hope to God not!
I looked over to him and he looked a little uncomfortable also. I wonder what is wrong with him.
"Holden. Are you okay?" I asked turning my whole body so I could see him.
He glanced at me quickly then returned his attention to the road.
"Yeah, why?" His eyebrows furrowed together.
"Nothing. You just look like you're worried or something..." I trailed off.
"Oh. Well, I'm fine." He softly chuckled.
"Why are you doing this?" I asked stopping his chuckle.
This time he turned his whole head to look at me.
"Doing what?" He asked.
"Bringing me to the party and helping me." I clarified.
He turned his attention back to the road, "It seems fun."
"Fun? That's it? For some reason I don't believe that." I frowned.
"Why not? I just got back from tour and I have been exhausted. Going to a party tonight seems like fun." He shrugged.
"A party with a bunch of teenagers seems like fun to you? Wasn't touring fun? And I recall that you first suggested that we not go to the party and do something else instead." I fired questions at him trying to get him to tell the truth.
He sighed and rolled his eyes, "Fine, there might be another reason why I am helping you."
"Ha! I knew it. What is it?" I asked trying not to sound a little panicked. What could his reason be....?
"hmmiwanmakfnjafjslous." He mumbled incoherently.
My eyes widened in confusion, "Say what?"
He sighed again, "I was hoping to make the girl I like jealous..." He said quietly.
I frowned, he was having problems too.
"How will it make her jealous if she doesn't know about it?" I questioned sweetly.
"She knows..." He trailed off again.
"And she's not?" I guessed.
His expression fell and he nodded slightly without looking at me.
"I'm sorry, but if she doesn't feel the same way about you, maybe it's time to move on. I have someone I could set you up with." I said trying to cheer him up.
"I don't know." He said warily.
"Come on. I think you will like her. And what better way to get over her then by going out with someone else?" I encouraged.
"Exactly." He muttered shooting me a look.
"What?" I asked confused.
"Nothing." He said shaking his head.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I walked up the cobble stone walkway feeling even more anxious about tonight. I was about three seconds away from booking it out of there. Unfortunately, Holden had one hand on my arm, making it impossible for escape. When we reached the door Holden stepped in front of me to knock on the door because he saw my hesitance.
"Calm down. Everything will be fine." He whispered.
I heard the click of the door knob turning and my heart skipped a beat. Why was I so nervous? I bit my lip as the door opened and saw Nicole smiling. I was slightly relieved that Nicole was the one who opened the door not her mom or Nate.
"Hey Ruth!" Nicole greeted while lunging into me to give me a hug.
"Hey." I mumbled into her shoulder.
She let go and moved aside to let me in but I stopped when she looked up and saw Holden standing there. Her eyes widened in surprise but she immediately replaced it with a sweet smile.
"Hi, I'm Nicole." She introduced herself by holding out her hand to him.
He gave her a big smile and took her hand, "Nice to meet you Nicole, I'm Holden. I hope you don't mind that I just showed up with Ruth."
She nodded her head, "No, it's alright. The more the merrier."She said cheerfully
She led us inside and shot me a confused look asking who and why he was here. I mouthed to her that I would explain later and she led us down the hallway. I was still a little awed by this house. I couldn't get over how beautiful it was. I could only hope that one day I would be able to live in a house this grand. Following her down the hallway it eerily reminded me of my dream. The lighting and the atmosphere were the same but thankfully I was not alone. I assumed that she was leading us to the game room, which would be the obvious place to hold a party because of the wide open space and fun games. I had a weird sense of déjà vu as we walked to the end of the hall in silence only to suddenly hear the blast of music shoot through our ears. It wasn't deafeningly loud until Nicole pushed through the door to the game room with both of her hands on her ears. I peered in and saw a few people here and there talking in little clumps. There were a few decorations, like blue and black streamers but it wasn't very festive. I watched as Nicole stomped across the room to where there was a large stereo. She stopped in front of who I now noticed was Nate. I couldn't see his face but he was hurriedly trying to stop or turn down the volume to the stereo as Nicole was screaming at him over the music. I didn't recognize the song but it had a fast beat and heavy electric guitar. It reminded me of the music that was in my dream.
My shoulders relaxed as the music turned down (a/n This creepy but I just had déjà vu like Ruth did.... While writing this. O.o) and I curiously watched Nicole tell Nate something. He looked over to where I was standing and I felt a strange tingle in the pit of my stomach as he gave me a brilliant smile. I smiled back at him ready to go over to say hi to him but I stopped dead in my tracks as he frowned then turned back to Nicole. He asked her something and she quickly glanced at me before answering him with a look of sympathy. What did Nicole do? Was he mad that she yelled at her in front of his friends? Nate didn't look that angry, more upset and hurt than anything. He ran his hand through his hair before he turned back to look at me. His face was totally blank now and I was confused to what just happened. Nicole started to walk back towards me. When she noticed Nate wasn't behind her, she grabbed his arm and led him over. I suddenly felt very awkward and didn't want to talk to Nate. The way he was acting made it seem like he didn't want to talk to me and for some reason that really hurt my feelings.
I quickly fixed my dress as they came closer and put a forced smile on my face ready to act like I didn't see the confrontation that went on between them. They stopped in front of me but Nate didn't look at me.
"Hey Nate." I said trying to gain his attention.
He sighed, looked up at me, mumbled a hello then looked behind me. My eyes averted to Nicole who nudged him in the gut looking annoyed then flashed me a quick smile. He snapped his head to her and glared at her with gritted teeth but didn't say anything.
"Hey there. I'm Holden." Holden's voice unexpectedly said making me jump in fright.
I had totally forgotten that he was here. I held my hand over my heart stepping back a little as Holden stepped forward. Nate had his eyes glued to Holden the whole time and it sort of frightened me the way he was looking at him; like he wanted to rip his throat out. Holden had a relaxed smile on his face almost like he was amused.
"Uhh, Nate this is Holden...he is my sister's friend's brother." I told him trying to explain who he was and why he was here, but how could I explain to him that I met him today because Renee set me up with him to get my mind off of Les but we decided that he would help me tonight to keep Les away and make him jealous? Yeah, he would understand that.
Nate looked up at me and looked directly into my eyes seeming to search for something. His gaze made me a little self-conscious and my face heated up in a blush. Nate noticed and gave me his signature smirk.
"Blushing over me again are we Ruth?" He winked at me.
I rolled my eyes but smiled that he was acting more like himself.
"Happy Birthday!" I screamed jumping up and running to give him a hug.
He seemed surprised for a second but hugged me back. I wrapped my arms around his neck all I could smell was his light scented cologne. I lingered a little longer than I should have because he smelled so good and he was warm but I pulled back and gave him a shy smile. Thankfully he didn't say anything about it but instead tried to take his present. I pulled it away from him and shook my head grinning.
"Nope. You have to open mine after the party." I teased.
He gave me a fake pouting face that almost made change my mind. Nicole chuckled and took the gift from me and walked off to probably go put it on the table.
"Thank you for coming. I've got to go welcome everyone so food is over there and you can play whatever game you want. I'll see you in a little while." He smiled at me before turning to give Holden a scowl that he thought I couldn't see then turned and headed for the door.
"I don't know what you are talking about. It's obvious that he likes you too. What's the problem?" Holden asked appearing at my side, scaring me again.
It took me a second to register what he said and when I realized what he said my cheeks turned a deep red and I shook my head vehemently.
"What are you talking about? That's not him. He is just a friend." I corrected him.
He gave me a confused look, "But...what? That's not him? But it's so obvious that he likes you! And I can tell you like him too."
"I told you I have guy problems..." I muttered under my breath.
"You can say that again. How did this happen? You say you're in love with a guy who rejected you and is keeping a secret from you but you also like this Nate guy and he likes you too? If I were you, I'd give Nate a chance." He informed me.
I was taken aback for a second. I just met this guy today and he figured out all my crazy mixed up feelings. I did like Nate a little, but I love Les and I couldn't get over the idea of maybe there was still some way that we could fix this and be together someday. I was also a little surprised that he thought that Nate liked me. Sure I got the feeling that he liked me sometimes because it seemed he was jealous of Nate and after tonight, Holden too. But to hear that someone else thought that he liked made my stomach flip a little. I couldn't say that I didn't like the thought of that but it only made me feel guilty because I am in love with Les and liking Nate is just making everything more complicated.
"I don't know..." I said trying to figure out a way to stop the conversation.
"Well, you have a lot of thinking to do then. I'm going to go get us some drinks. Come get me if you see you're guy." He said walking off.
I stood there by myself trying to sort out what I should do. I told myself that I wouldn't ask Nate out because I couldn't go through that rejection again. I would wait until Nate asked me out, if he really did like me, but I wasn't even sure if I would say yes. It would not be fair to Nate if I dated him but loved someone else. I think the only way that I will be able to get over Les is if I find out what he is hiding from me. That way I can know his true feelings for me and move on, whichever way it goes. I looked around for either Nate or Nicole wanting to get out of my confused thoughts. I panicked slightly when I couldn't see either of them because the crowd of people got larger. It reminded me too much of my dream when I was all alone at the party and there were too many people; none of which I knew. I was starting to get afraid that my dream would come true but before I started to hyperventilate Holden came back and handed me a drink giving me a sense of unfamiliarity and relaxing me. I almost laughed out loud at myself. I was being ridiculous. There was no way that my dream could repeat itself in real life. I mean seriously, Holden was not in my dream, nor was Nicole. I just had to relax and have fun tonight, even with Les coming. Though I didn't want to have to talk to him, I couldn't help myself to watch the door waiting for him to come in.