Miran is dead. Reyyan's heart died in that crash too and she will never be the same, again... What will she do, now? Will it be possible for her to rise from the ashes and smile again? Will she be able to honour his memory and find the strength to find her happiness?
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I need to go to a place... the place where the swing was... where I was happy for the first time... please... I have to say goodbye to my beloved Miran...
Zehra was with her husband at the hotel bar, having a cup of tea, as they were both trying to set their minds straight. A lot had happened the last twenty four hours... from the hope of having her daughter finally happy with Miran, to his tragic death, their lives had been through a merciless ordeal and there was nothing they could do about it.
Hazar looked at his mobile, once more: Nasuh had been calling him for hours, probably to celebrate the death of Miran but Hazar just couldn't answer. It was his daughter's happiness, after all, that had been shattered to pieces. Enemy or not, Miran was the man she had chosen to love and to cry for. And he had to respect her will, no matter how ridiculous that was. He had to face it: deep down inside, she was not a Sadoglu. She had been mistreated by almost all of the clan – actually only he and Azat had been there for her. So, why would she feel sorry for all that had happened to the clan, after all? Why would she feel sorry for all Azize had done to them? But, above all, he just couldn't ignore the fact she sedated, in that hotel room, after crying like a desperate soul, for the loss of her other half... It was so painful to see her like this and not being able to do anything to help her ease her pain... He was feeling so powerless... How could he make her happy again? Only bringing Miran to life but that was more than he could do! Giving her the moon would be easier and bringing that bold and fierce young man back...
Zehra was in silence, watching her husband's facial expressions: she knew he was in conflict, she knew he was in a crossroads, because he had to choose what to do next. She then asked him:
- What's on your mind?
He took a long deep breath and looked at his wife, who was as anxious as he was:
- I really don't know...
- Aren't you gonna answer the call?
- What for? To rejoice and celebrate that young man's death? – Hazar then hid his face in his hands and began to cry silently: - If only you had seen the car... I can't help to feel but sorry for him... and for Reyyan... No one should lose its first love like this, in such a tragic way...
Zehra touched her husband's shoulder, touched by his sadness:
- When will be the funeral?
- The funeral... If only they had something to bury... the body was completely burnt to ashes... I really don't know. I talked to responsible for the investigation, Emir Buruk, and he just told me they suspected Miran's death hadn't been the result of a car accident, after all...
- What? What do you mean? And why do you say the body...
- There is no body, at the moment, however the forensics are doing the best they can, but we have to be prepared for the fact that there may never be a body left... Zehra, Zehra... you didn't see what I saw, the car was completely destroyed and everything inside it exploded...
- Yes... but do they suspect it was something other than an accident?
Hazar looked around them, to make sure they were not heard:
- Zehra... this is too serious... but Emir suspects that someone could have ordered his death... the explosion, all the damage... was simply too much for such a secure care as the one Miran drove.
- But that is a serious accusation!
- It's more than serious... but now, think for a moment: imagine all of this is true, that the poor man was a victim of someone's twisted revenge plans... I don't know how many enemies the Aslanbey have but, everybody knows there's someone with all the reasons in the world to do something like that...
- You're not implying...
- That's exactly what I'm saying...
- No, we can't be held responsible for this accident!
- Really? Go and ask anyone if they think we could do something like this! Go and then you'll understand the authorities could consider the Sadoglu's to be authors of this... this... Well, I can't even describe this hideous act of cowardice...
- But that could never be true, right? I mean... Your father, your brother, even Azat, they could never...
- How would I know? Uh? Since the beginning Cihan and my father, they wanted Miran for Yaren, as if Reyyan wasn't good enough. And when Miran made perfectly clear he wanted our daughter, well, the war started... and the rest you know! When Azize's plan to avenge her son was revealed, my father stopped trusting me all his plans because I was with Reyyan and he believed, somehow; she was the responsible for all the disgrace that had fallen over the Sadoglu. We were about to be evicted! My father lost a huge part of his fortune so... tell me if the authorities won't have plenty of reasons to believe us responsible for this?
- But do you think your father could do such thing?
- To be true and honest... yes. Either he, my brother or Azat, who we know is madly in love with Reyyan but had realized he couldn't stand a chance against Miran. So, if I believe they could plot against Miran? Yes... My father tried to hurt Azize the deepest way possible, by killing her grandchild but, by that, he ended up by husrting our dear Reyyan and that I can never forgive.
- So... what will we do now? Return home?
- No... no... that is out of the question.
- But we can't stay in this hotel forever!
- True... we can't so we have to think fast and figure out the best option for both our daughters...
- What if... what if we leave to Istanbul? We had thought about that possibility once...
Zehra's eyes were begging her husband to reconsider that option but that thought had obviously crossed his mind too... it was the best thing to do. To leave and forget all the pain and the rage, grant a fresh start for his daughters was his top priority.
- As always, my dear, you are always so wise, so right... It is, indeed, the most reasonable thing to do... I want us to be far away so that Reyyan doesn't suffer with all this... So, we must leave at once. Prepare the girl's luggage; we leave first thing in the morning.
- But, what about your father?
- I will write him a letter. And I will explain everything...
- You do whatever you think is best for us, like you always did, of course.
Abdullah's head was aching. He hadn't had much sleep during the night, since he had stayed awaken next to Miran until he was sent to the surgical bloc, at 4 o'clock in the morning. During all that time, he had been next to Miran, praying for him, begging him to find the strength to survive and fight for his life. The next hours were crucial and he had to find the strength of the Sadoglu in himself to strive for a happy life he could still have...
Before taking him to the bloc, Abdullah leaned to him and softly told him:
- Please Miran... fight for yourself, for that beautiful young lady you married and whose heart you have conquered... Reyyan... Fight, young man, fight!
He could only hope Miran had listened to his words...
The next morning Hazar asked the reception desk staff to send the Sadoglu's mansion a letter, as soon as possible. He then asked for a rented car and, as soon as Reyyan, Gül and Zehra were settled in, he drove as fast as he could, far from the centre. He knew his father should be hunting them down as crazy so he had to be extra cautions and avoid certain places to escape from Nasuh's men.
In backseat of the car, obviously sedated, Reyyan was keeping her eyes shut, trying to ignore the reality outside. She knew they were leaving. Her mother hadn't explained much but she understood they were not going back home and that didn't seem to bother her that much. The world could explode she couldn't care less: her heart had been taken away from her and she had turned into a doll, feeling nothing, just obeying. Nothing else mattered to her, not even where she was going nor if she would ever come back. All she knew was that her heart had burnt along with Miran's and that her joy and happiness now lost would rest somewhere next to swing she once had and where she had spent one of the most memorable moments of her life. That had been the place where she had fallen in love with Miran, that had been the place where he had sworn to her never to let her go, to follow her wherever she might go...
The car was now outside the city and Hazar and his wife could breathe now, more relieved... They seemed to have escaped Nasuh's control and all they wanted was to get to the Diyarbakır airport and leave to Istanbul. Hazar wanted to settle his family, safe and sound, in an apartment he had bought some years ago, when he was naïve enough to believe his father would let him go from Midyat... Then he would come back to set thighs straight with the family, but that had to be made with him alone. The fear that Nasuh would try to hurt Reyyan was more than real and justified by the man's attitudes over his daughter...
- Dad... - the soft and hurt voice of Reyyan cut the silence inside the car: - Please... before we go... take me to the mountain...
Both Hazar and Zehar look at each other. Was she referring to the place where the crash had happened?
- I need to go to a place... the place where the swing was... where I was happy for the first time... please... I have to say goodbye to my beloved Miran...
They were ahead on schedule, with plenty of time to arrive to the airport. What could he do? Say no? How could he refuse her request, when he knew she was suffering so hard and that may be the last time she would be there? They risked too much but he had to say «yes»...
- My dear... can you tell where is that place? We don't have much time but yes... of course I'll take you there...
Mile by mile... She knew that road like the palm of her hand. The way to her secret place, where she used to escape when times were rough at home and that Miran had transformed into their secret place... the place where he had conquered her heart... Only now, she wasn't heading it with a smile on her face, but with an enormous burden of sorrow and despair.
When the car stopped, both Hazar and Zehra were in silence. They could imagine that cliff was the place where she spent hours escaping from the Sadoglu hell, seeking for some peace of mind...
Reyyan started walking towards the cliff, with her father behind, watching every step of her daughter. The cliff was too high and the risk of her to jump from there was sadly, too high...
Step by step, Reyyan was recalling every moment she had lived there, every argument, every word she had told him that she knew had hurt him so bad... She recalled the picnic, all his efforts to make her smile, but she just couldn't... she just couldn't... Had she known he would die so soon and she had forgiven him everything and had escaped with him the first time he had been after her... But she didn't, and she could only be sorry for it now...
She suddenly stopped: in front of her, a new swing was set. She remembered the last one had been destroyed... She had been there and the swing was torn apart, probably by Miran but now, there it was, a new swing, and she could bet it was Miran's doing, once more... She felt her heart pounding and a sudden need to cry... Even dead, he could help surprising her and try to put a smile on her face. She then whispered, before running to the swing:
- Miran... My Miran...
In a couple of seconds, Hazar understood everything she had lived there with Miran and he guessed that swing had everything to do with it. He watched Reyyan jump on the swing and started to move it, increasing its speed so fast, he approached her, afraid she might lose her balance and fall down the cliff.
Hazar stood there, behind her, watching her moves, and her peaceful and beautiful face... It was so strange but she was smiling, her eyes shut, as if she was remembering each second she had lived there... And he was right. Reyyan's body was there, but her soul and her mind were elsewhere...
Reyyan was feeling the wind, the fresh wind in the morning in her face, drying her tears out, wiping her sadness away... And she imagined Miran was just behind her, watching her, paying attention to her, guarding her, as if she was the most precious treasure in the world... She was feeling so happy, so free, so in love... If only that moment could last forever...
What if she could jump? What if she could release herself from all that pain and dive into eternity? What kept her from following him, when all happiness she had ever experienced had been with Miran?
Hazar suddenly noticed she was riding the speed too fast and something crossed his mind: she was desperate, she was devastated... what if?!
Afraid she would do anything silly, Hazar caught the ropes of the swing, in the exact moment, Reyyan was about to jump into the horizon. He then kept the ropes in his hands, hanging her body next to her:
- My dear, my dear daughter... What were you about to do?! – Hazar spoke with a reassuring and soft voice, to keep Reyyan calm. She was obviously in shock, because she hadn't noticed her father was just behind her, watching every move, keeping her safe.
Reyyan opened her eyes and faced her father. She then whispered:
- Let me go to him, father... let me go...
How Hazar knew of excruciating that pain was... How Hazar knew that, before the pain would soften, it would get worse and that the lonely nights, full of tears and grieve would happen for months and months to come... Even today, thirty years later, he still remembered the love of his life and mourned her, in his heart...
- I can't, my dear... I can't... please, hold on to me and come down this swing... Let me take from here...
- Give me just a little moment... Do you see this swing? He made this surprise to me... Isn't it beautiful? – Reyyan was smiling and crying at the same time. Hazar began to cry in silence, too.
- It's beautiful, my dear...
- And I used to ride this swing, with him pushing me, keeping me safe, like you just did...
- Of course, my dear... He loved you. That is something people do when they love someone... Keeping you safe... and no matter how far you go, I'll find you... if you'd fall, I'd catch you and protect you forever... And even if you'd fall and I couldn't catch you, I would fall right behind you...
Reyyan looked at the horizon, her eyes lost in that magnificent view and then said:
- Do you know he said those exact words to me once? The first time we were here?
- Really?
- Yes, daddy... He promised me all that and, despite all he did, he ended up by keeping his promise...
Hazar kissed his daughter's hair. She had a point on that.
- You are right. I guess he did it, in the end.
- So, since he fell into eternity, because he died, shouldn't I do the same? Jump after him?
- Oh dear... if only it was so simple...
Hazar turned to face her and told her, never letting go of her arm:
- Miran and you, you shared all these lovely moments, that you'll remember forever. Even if he was wrong at the beginning, he did all in his power to win you back which he obviously did. But Allah chose a different ending to your story and we have to respect that... You must fight against that pain in your heart because I know Miran would want to see you happy! And I meant every word I said! Whenever you're down, I'll be there for you! And I'll be always for you, to help you ease that pain, my dear, to help you carry that burden!
- But this pain hurts so much, daddy! It burns inside! I miss him so much, so much! I love him... so much! – Reyyan was crying uncontrollably, and Hazar took her in his arms, holdinh her tight.
They stood there for a while until they heard Gül's voice, sweet and soft, next to them:
- Don't be sad, sister... I'm sad too but I have this feeling that Miran is alright, wherever he is... I had this dream and he told me he was alright and that he would love you forever...
Reyyan and Hazar looked at her and held her to, in that embrace, because they both knew Gül loved Miran too... It was the time to say goodbye, to cry and to be sorry for that tragic ending...
No matter the resentfulness Zehra had ever felt for Miran, all disappeared in that moment. Reyyan had met a good man in him, she had seen what no one else had seen and if her daughter was so devastated by his death, she would be too, because that only meant he was a man worthy of her tears. She would honour him and respect his memory...
Gently, Zehra joined her family and embrace them too... for they were united in joy but in pain too, as a true family should be.