Sorry for the mistakes plz. Ignore
Boring.
Third Person POV
"It's been almost seven months mom and even though I don't want this to happen---that keeps happening and it's all my fault. I'm letting it happen and I don't want it to stop---it's so confusing---I don't want him yet I want him." Taehyung was talking to his mother, sitting on the ground next to her resting place, hugging his knees close to his chest.
He wonders why the sun always hides behind the clouds whenever he comes to meet his mother.
"I never wanted to allow him to touch me but I couldn't stay away from him, no matter how much I wanted to---I couldn't and in---in all my doings, I don't want to hurt him. He has hurt me---I know but I don't want to hurt him, me being a coward and getting scared because of some mere words has nothing to do with him---". Taehyung sighs, pouts.
"I am making him feel guilty when I myself allow him to touch him and then push him away. What would he think about me?" Taehyung smiles in a pity to himself.
"I don't want him to think bad about me---I don't want him to be ashamed of me. I just---I---". Taehyung groans because he's about to cry and he doesn't want to. Since when does he cry regarding to Jeongguk now. It was in high school when he used to cry---not after that so it frustrates him that he's about to cry now.
"I don't know what to do mom. Deep down, I know I shouldn't get close to him, it'll get complicated when the five months are over and it shouldn't get to that extent but I can't help it---it's getting difficult to stay away from him---". The model sighs, touches the grass softly.
"And he always touches me so softly and---and makes me feel secured, makes me want to stay in his arms till I fall asleep. I want to fall asleep while he holds me and yet I want him to stay away because---".
"Because I'm scared mom, I'm scared that something bad will happen, that I'm gonna hurt him and myself sometime in the coming months if---if I---".
Taehyung doesn't want to say that word. Feelings were never meant to get involved in them---okay lets not go to 'them'. Feelings were meant to get Taehyung under their spell and they haven't, they haven't yet and Taehyung knows they haven't but he's scared that he will catch feelings but he doesn't want to stay away from Jeongguk either.
"It's so confusing mom. Why would you want us together? Why did you write that letter mom? But I can't really blame you, can I?" Taehyung utters, scoffs.
"It's not your fault that he was my bully. It's not your fault that we both hate eachother---".
But do I hate him? Taehyung doesn't want to answer that, no matter how obvious it is.
"It's not your fault that I want him closer all the time." Taehyung mummers, rests his head on his knees.
"How can I keep hating him when he doesn't give me a reason to hate him anymore? He saved me twice, from police station and from Changmin." Taehyung smiles at the memory.
"He came to my fashion show even though I know how much work he has. He won me a pendant---he kissed me like he---". Taehyung stops, takes a deep breath and blinks away his tears.
"I don't want to stay away from him and I don't want to have feelings for him either because he will never have feelings for me---". Taehyung assures himself.
"The five months will pass and we'll probably never see eachother again and even if we'll do see eachother, it'll be different and it'll be---". Taehyung huffs, irritated at why he's thinking way too ahead from now.
"I just don't want him to feel bad or to hurt him. Most of all---I don't want to regret anything." Anything.
"How fast the things have changed. First I wanted him far away from me---I wanted to hurt him and now I want him close to me all the time. To feel his touch---may it be a little bit---I want it. I want him. My heart wants him---my body gets under his control---". Taehyung pauses, swallows the lump in his throat.
"And I feel so stupid right now because he will never feel the same for me. He knows I can't give him anything---not when I can't even let him touch me---not with a body like this." Taehyung chuckles bitterly.
"Those mere words have ruined my life." They have because Taehyung has been embarrassed alot of times because of this.
Taehyung closes his eyes and stays like that---doesn't know for how long.
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Everything aside, it's Jeongguk's duty as a husband to call Taehyung and make sure he went home safely. He's glad that his meeting went well even though though his silver haired husband was all on his mind---
Or maybe he just needs an excuse to talk to Taehyung---hear his voice.
Taehyung's eyes flutter open when he hears his phone ringtone. It has happened before, Taehyung falling asleep on the ground and would always wake up when someone would call him.
He sits up and takes out his phone, Jeongguk's name on the screen. Taehyung immediately picks it up.
"Hello." Taehyung softly greets. Jeongguk's heartbeat accelerates, stomach flutters.
"Hey, you---did you got home safely?" Jeongguk asks and Taehyung's tense posture relaxes.
Jeongguk cares---gave Taehyung another reason to not push him away.
"I---I'm actually still at the cemetery." Taehyung utters, bites his lips.
"What? It's been two hours Taehyung!" Jeongguk exclaims, already grabbing his car keys.
"Yeah but---".
"Stay there, I'm coming." Jeongguk says and ends the call.
Taehyung sighs, closes his eyes and lowers his phone slowly. His eyes sting yet he doesn't want to cry. He shouldn't cry.
"See mom, now tell me how am I supposed to hate him?" Taehyung mummers, rests his head on his knees for a while.
The model then gets up, looks at his mother's name and then goes to the parking area. The model thankfully had a jacket with him so he doesn't have to worry about standing here.
Taehyung's heart thumps loudly when he sees Jeongguk's car nearing. The ravenette stops the car Taehyung didn't expect him to get out of the car but Jeongguk does and Taehyung gulps.
Jeongguk doesn't come closer to him though, stands by the car and looks at the model with an unreadable expression.
"You could've called me Taehyung. I don't think I am that much of a stranger for you." Jeongguk says, as if hurt that Taehyung didn't call him.
Taehyung feels a stab in his hearts---the thinks he keeps messing things up rather than making them right.
"It's---it's not like that Jeongguk. I always stay here for---".
"Just get in." Jeongguk utters, looks away and gets in the car.
Taehyung, for the first time with Jeongguk, opens the passenger door for himself.
The car ride is as usual, in a thick silence and Taehyung is dying to talk to the other---to apologize or to just get Jeongguk to look at him.
Jeongguk walks inside, has to go back to the company but goes inside the house nonetheless.
"Jeongguk." The model calls and the ravenette stops, doesn't turn around.
"I'm sorry." Taehyung wasn't going to delay his apology at all. He says what he had to says. Jeongguk turns and looks at him.
"Sorry for what Taehyung?" Jeongguk asks, hands inside his pockets.
"For---for last night and for not calling you earlier. When---".
"You don't have to apologize for anything." Jeongguk says, walks past Taehyung but the model grabs his arm, makes him stay.
"No Jeongguk, just listen to me please." Taehyung desperately says and Jeongguk looks at him.
"You didn't hurt me last night. I swear you didn't and I know---I know you think you did but it wasn't your fault---". Taehyung pauses, tries to find any emotion on Jeongguk's eyes and he finds it---
He finds the softness hidden in them.
"I am sorry I pushed you away when it was me who wanted you to kiss me---hell, I kissed you first but I just---I remembered something and it messed up everything." Taehyung explains, wants Jeongguk to know that it's only him himself that's on fault.
"It's okay Taehyung. I told you I won't touch you until you're completely comfortable---".
"I am, I am completely comfortable with you Jeongguk---". Taehyung hastily says, hands unconsciously rest on Jeongguk's chest, shows him that he is not hesitant to touch him and he---
"You shouldn't have to be hesitant to touch me Jeongguk, I swear." Taehyung says steps closer and the ravenette barely touches Taehyung's waist.
"I just want you to know whatever it is or will---it will be my fault, never yours and even with this---this fault---I---". Taehyung pauses, inhales shakily.
"I don't want you to be ashamed---". But Jeongguk's cutting him, swallows the next words right from Taehyung's lips by kissing him, firmly, hands tighten on Taehyung's sides.
The model gets a moment to stay stunned, then he's kissing him back but Jeongguk pulls away much to Taehyung's dismay.
"I'm not ashamed of you." Jeongguk whispers against Taehyung's lips, let's go of him but the model doesn't.
Jeongguk isn't ashamed of Taehyung---can never be. And he'll fucking prove it to him.
He doesn't let Taehyung speak next, leaves before Taehyung could utter even a single word. Leaves Taehyung giddy yet confused.
Taehyung was asleep because Jeongguk came home late and left early the next morning and Taehyung feels like Jeongguk is running away from him.
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The model was reminded again about his shoot this weekend and he has to go to Singapore for that and he will try to ask Jeongguk if he could go with him---though it seems impossible.
And Jeon Taehyung is on his way to the Jeon Inc. because he can't let his husband keep running away from him.
"Oh, Mr. Jeon---welcome. It's so good to see you here." The receptionist warmly greets the model and Taehyung's heart stutters at his name---he admits that he loves it.
"Thank you. I'm here to see my husband." Taehyung says without any hesitation---without any doubt.
"Of course, right this way." The receptionist herself takes Taehyung towards the elevators---the staff members now respectfully to him and smile, the model does the same---smiling widely at the respect given to him.
Taehyung smiles when he sees Hoseok. The other literally beams when he sees Taehyung.
"Mr. Jeon, it's so good to see you here." Hoseok says and bows, Taehyung does the same.
"I'll let boss know you're here." Hoseok says but Taehyung stops him.
"I hope he's not busy. I don't want to disturb him." Taehyung says and Hoseok shakes his head.
"He's is working but I'm sure he'll definitely have a little time for his husband." Hoseok says and the model beams red.
"I'll-I'll go in then." Taehyung says and Hoseok nods. He might be visiting every day now.
The model nods softly, earns a faint 'come in' from Jeongguk and then opens the door.
"I need the original ones safe---". Jeongguk stops when he looks up, sees his husband, not Hoseok.
"Hi". Taehyung shyly waves his hand when Jeongguk looks at him in a little surprise. He's definitely surprised to see the person who said he'll never set foot in this building ever after signing the marriage contract.
But he's happy as well---doesn't know why but he is.
"Hi, everything okay?" Jeongguk asks as he gets up from his chair and stands infront of the desk.
"Yeah---yeah everything is fine and your staff is really nice and welcoming." Taehyung says and Jeongguk furrows his eyebrows.
"Did they do something? Misbehaved--".
"I said nice and welcoming, Jeongguk---definitely not in a sarcastic way." Taehyung chuckles and Jeongguk smiles.
"Oh, that's good to hear."
"Nice office though." Taehyung compliments and Jeongguk thanks him.
"So uh---you---".
"I know you're surprised to see me here---".
"Yeah, no!---I mean, a little bit, yeah." Jeongguk curses himself and Taehyung laughs softly.
"I understand but I did walked more than one steps here." Taehyung says and Jeongguk nods.
"I hope you're not here to tour the whole building or to get yourself a job or something---". Jeongguk says and the model shakes his head, chuckles.
"No, I actually had need to go somewhere and wanted to ask if---if you're busy or not---". Taehyung hesitantly says.
"It's definitely fine if you can't go because of work---".
"No, it's okay---I'll go with you." Jeongguk cuts his words and Taehyung smiles widely.
Jeongguk hopes Hoseok won't come in with more files right now.
"Thanks." Taehyung utters.
"It's okay---so, where do you want to go?"
"Shopping." Taehyung says and Jeongguk looks at him with furrowed eyebrows.
"Come again?"
"Shopping." Taehyung smiles widely and hopefully and now Jeongguk can't even back down.
"I think you don't want to---".
"No, I do, really." Jeongguk says, smiles.
"Okay." Taehyung's smile is little and Jeongguk feels bad for reacting as if Taehyung said something to humiliate him.
"Let's go." Jeongguk says, wants to cheer up Taehyung's mood. The ravenette walks towards him, Taehyung bites his lips as he stands just an away, leans closer.
Taehyung can always feel the want and need that Jeongguk radiates---his warmth as well but there's always a tension that doesn't go away just from kissing.
The model is about to lean in, just as Jeongguk does but are interrupted by a knock. Jeongguk groans and Taehyung bites his lips to hide his smile. The knock ruined the tense air.
"Not now Hoseok, I'm going somewhere." Jeongguk raises his voice and Taehyung looks at him with a soft smile.
Jeongguk doesn't give a fuck about work right now. Shopping or whatever---at least he'll be with Taehyung. That's all what matters to him.
He's still shocked at how easily everything changed. How fast the seven months went.
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^baby deserves all the love in the world.
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Hello beautiful people. How are you guys.
Hope you liked this boring chap.
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Have a good day and peaceful night.
Bye...
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