"How about this one?" Sage asked, holding up a cute dress.
We were shopping for our Homecoming dresses.
I took it from her, putting it in the pile with the other ones I'd plan to try on.
"Molly, it's okay." I said, looking over at Molly who's sitting on one of the benches, pouting. "You and Nate will figure it out, I'm sure."
"I miss him so much." She sobbed, looking down at her phone.
Her lock screen is a recent picture of them. She won't stop staring at it.
"It's not healthy staring at pictures of him." Sage states, sitting next to her giving her a reassuring hug.
Nate and Molly had recently broke up, making everything very difficult. Any time a couple splits, the mutual friends pay the price. But as Molly's best friends, we're here for her.
"We were together almost a year, and just now he says he wants to date other people." She states, throwing her phone into her purse.
"Think about it, Molly. There must have been a reason for such a sudden break up."
"That's the thing! I don't know what I did or what. I thought we were doing fine." Molly confesses and stands up to look through the dresses with us. "I just wish I could read his mind, or take a look in his brain."
"What changed?" Sage asked, giving Molly a sympathetic gaze.
"I don't know." She answered honesty. "I told him I loved him, and he left."
"You told him you loved him?" Sage asked, eyes widened.
"What's the big deal? I tell Matt I love him all the time." I inquire.
"Yeah, but you're Mattrey." She simply said, referring to our 'ship name' we're labeled as at school. "He gave you a promise ring."
"Aud, you're so lucky." Molly sighed, looking straight at me.
I am really lucky. I have an amazing boyfriend who I love dearly. My family is great, too. My brothers are happy and healthy, and my mom is happy with my step dad. Brandy is a great motherly-figure when mom isn't around. I have an older sister, but we don't talk much. She's in Iowa finishing college. She'd found a boyfriend out there and from what I hear, they're getting serious. I wouldn't be surprised if she'd just stayed down there. I rarely speak to my father. After he left my mom eleven years ago, he started a new family and I haven't seen him since. It hurts, but it is what it is. Sometimes I resent him for it, but I know it's beyond my control. I'm also captain of the cheer squad, girlfriend of the quarterback. I work really hard academically earning good grades, taking some senior classes. Volleyball is a huge part of my life which I'm very good at. Also, I compete in Trap meets, which helps with my hobby of hunting. I honestly wouldn't change my life one bit.
I gave her a tight lipped smile before returning back to the rack filed with dresses.
"How'd he take it?" Sage asked Molly.
"He told me it was a big step, but left shortly after. The next time we'd spoken, he said we needed a break." Molly informed us.
"You think he's scared of commitment?" I asked quietly.
"Maybe." Molly shrugged.
"I'm sorry," I apologized giving her a tight hug.
"That boy will soon figure out he's lost without you, watch."
"Oh I know." She giggled. "It just sucks, I miss him."
"Let's go see if Ashton's working." I chuckled, picking up my items and walking towards the dressing room.
"I wish." She sighed.
I shrugged at her, entering a dressing room.
I slipped on the first of the four dresses, and it wouldn't zip up all the way.
. walked out of the dressing room grabbing a random dress that was a size one.
I quickly threw on the dress, seeing as though that was also a bit tight.
I refuse to go any higher.
Walking out of the dressing room, Sage greeted me, sensing my frustration.
"Everything okay?"
"I'm not sure yet." I simply answered, fetching a random size two off the rack.
Rushing back into the small room, I slipped on the size two.
It fit perfectly around my torso and waist, but not my bust. It was baggy, making me appear flat-chested.
"Audrey?" I heard Molly yell after I let out a huge frustrated groan.
How could I go up two sizes in a month and a half. Last time I had bought a dress was for my anniversary, and it was a zero. I had even bought a few pairs of skinny jeans and shorts that were zeros that day.
"Yeah?" I called back, stepping out to rejoin them.
"I like that one." Molly said honesty, running her fingers over the sequin.
It was staples with a ball gown design in a mini length, running down stopping mid-thigh. It had a sparkling sequin bust line and a ruched sash with a floral accent. The empire waist added dimension while the tulle skirt flared out in layers of fabric and fluttered outwards. It had an icy black shade to it, which I liked. The only thing I didn't like was the size.
"What's wrong?"
"A zero doesn't fit." I simply informed them feeling shameful. How could I go up two sizes in such a short period of time?
"A zero doesn't fit me either." Molly shrugged, not seeing my point. "Does a one fit?"
"Nope, this is a two." I informed them, referring to the dress on my body.
"It's a bit loose on the chest, but it looks good." Sage stated. "How are you a size two when less than two months ago you were a size zero?" She added, sounding confused.
"I don't know. I haven't changed my diet or anything. I don't understand." I said, shaking my head.
How could I have such a sudden weight gain? Last time I'd weighed myself, I was 104 pounds. I was happy at that weight, and obviously now I weight more.
"I like this dress. Let's get it and get out of here." I mumbled, walking back into the dressing room and changing back into my black skirt and blue laced cropped top.
When I'd rejoined them, they were already done, with their items in hand ready to pay.
••••
As soon as I got home, I weighed myself in my bathroom.
As I bore at the scale, just wishing it wasn't true, I stepped back.
111.9 lbs.
One hundred eleven point nine pounds.
I've gained seven pounds in less than six weeks.
I marched over to my calendar on my wall to configure the weeks since weighing a hundred four pounds. Looking at the dates, I'd noticed something else, too.
Today is October 25th.
I was supposed to get my period October 3rd.
I was late. Very late.
I've been so busy with school, Matt, cheerleading, volleyball, and my friends it totally slipped my mind.
I've had a sudden weight gain, and I'm late for my period.. This could only mean one thing.
I could possibly be pregnant.
I winced at the thought, but needed to know for sure.
Grabbing my phone off my bed, I quickly dialed Matt's number. I couldn't think of anyone else to call.
"Hey," Matt greeted on the other line, answering on the second ring.
"Hi." I said, looking down at my blue Keds.
"What's up, baby?"
"I really need to talk to you," I blurted, cutting right to the chase. "In person."
"Okay, well is everything alright?" He asked concernly, only making things worse.
"I really don't know yet, just get to my house as soon as you can, please."
"Babe, I'm at football practice. We're really not doing anything so when you called, I answered. But I can't leave." Matt spoke apologetically, but I knew there was nothing he could do.
But I just really needed my boyfriend and my potential baby daddy here.
"It's kind of an emergency." It's not like I was lying.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just get here as soon as you can." I gushed out.
I hung up before he could say anything else to protest.
As I awaited for Matt's presence, I pulled out my laptop to look up signs of pregnancy.
I visited a few sites, but nothing made sense. One stressed about frequent morning sickness, which never occurred for me, that you'd constantly vomit. I've never once vomited since I'd lost my virginity almost two months ago.
Another site revolved around insane cravings, which I never noticed. It explained how pregnant women usually go for pickles and sweeter things. I hate pickles, and I'm not too keen on sweeter junk foods. I read through a few other sites, too.
The one that really stuck out was the one that stresses on sudden weight gain and missing a period or being late.
I had a sudden weight gain, an entire eleven pounds gained. I'm late for my period, a whole eighteen days late.
Before I could stress myself out anymore by drowning in reading those articles, Matt interrupted, barging into my room.
"What's wrong?!"
"I'm late." I whispered as he sat at the end of my bed.
I pulled my knees up to my chin and hugged them against my body.
The more I thought about it the more it scared me. I could not be sixteen and pregnant; it just sounds so cliché.
"Late for what?" Matt asked, completely clueless.
Guys.. Can't live with them, can't live without them.
"My period.." I spoke unsurely, not knowing how to tell him.
"Oh, Aud. I'm missing practice right now. Couldn't you have called Molly or Sage to talk about your lady issues?" He stated annoyed, rubbing his temples.
"No, Matt!" I huffed through gritted teeth. "They're not the potential father of my baby."
"Baby?" He questioned, standing up off my bed. "You're pregnant?"
I shrugged. I'm not sure, but there's a possibility.
"Possibly."
"I don't have time for this," Matt gushed, walking out of my bedroom.
"Wait!" I yelled, running after him.
By the time I'd caught up to him, he was right outside my front door.
"Matt, please."
"Audrey, what do you want me to say?!" He yelled loudly, making me flinch. "Are you sure you're even pregnant?"
"No," I answered earnestly. "But I'm late and I've gained over ten pounds since the night we slept together."
"That's not like you, you've been the same weight since we've been dating."
I shook my head in agreement.
"Well we have to be sure." I stated, as if it wasn't already obvious.
"Okay." Matt agreed, reaching for my hand. He kissed the top of it, and looked closely into my eyes. "Let's go get a test."
I could see how hurt he was in his hazel eyes. The sorrow he felt, how scared he was. I was just as scared, if not more. I'm just really glad I'm not doing it alone.
He took his keys out of his pocket, walking down off the porch, to his car parked in the driveway.
I followed after him, still in my outfit from earlier. It's a bit nippy out, and I felt a breeze fly up my skirt.
"You okay?" Matt asked me as I slipped into his car.
I nodded, not knowing what else to do or say.
I just felt numb.
•••
"I'm scared." I whispered, falling into Matt's arms as I walked out of my bathroom.
"Results?"
"It takes three minutes for the test to accumulate, so." I informed him, referring to the pregnancy test we'd just picked up that's sitting on my bathroom counter.
He nodded, sitting down on my bed. Pulling me on top of his lap, I nestled against his warm body.
I could hear his slow breathing as it rhythmically pounded against my head. All I longed for was Matt and reassurance.
We sat in silence the entire three minutes, not knowing what else to do. I could see the fear gather in his eyes. I felt so helpless, but scared myself.
Once the timer did go off, which felt like an eternity, I jumped off Matts lap.
"Audrey,"
I looked over my shoulder, in his sensitive, hazel eyes.
"Let me do this," he said, pushing passed me to my bathroom.
"Wait, Matt-"
Before I could speak another syllable, he was in the bathroom with the door shut behind him.
I sat back down on my bed, pulling my knees up to my chin, sitting in my earlier position.
I waited patiently for a few minutes while I waited for Matt to come out of my bathroom. Long waiting is never a good sign. How long could it take to check a test? It's either positive or negative.
I jumped to my feet as Matt came out of my bathroom.
Before I could say anything, I was ambushed by Matt. He gently pulled me into a surprising hug and held on tightly.
"I love you," he gushed, tears rolling down his cheeks.
Well, obviously I was pregnant.
He sat down on my bed again, pulling me onto his lap.
"Audrey,"
I shook my head, lost for words.
"We only had sex once."
I shrugged, feeling numb.
"We used a condom."
I couldn't control it anymore, the tears just trolled down and couldn't stop.
We sat in silence for a few more minutes before I broke the awkward silence.
"What are we supposed to do?"
"Let's consider our options." Matt suggested as he caressed my thigh that was laying across his lap. "First of all, you know I don't believe in abortions." He said reminding me of one of your past discussions.
For the record, neither do I.
"I know, me either." I whispered, as tears streamed down my eyes and I silently cried. "Plus, I'm underage. They'd never agree to it."
"Adoption? I mean, we're sixteen. How can we raise a baby?"
"Maybe." I agreed
He sighed, making me feel empty and numb.
"I'm so sorry, Matt."
"Hey, hey, hey. " He whispered, scooting towards me as tears flew down my cheeks and I sobbed loudly. "It's alright. We'll work through this. Okay, it's not like it was purposefully, or nonconsensual, right? We both agreed to have sex that night. It takes two to tango, so it's our responsibility." He stated, cupping one hand around my face, and the other on my flat stomach.
My for now flat stomach.
I nodded, finally getting my sobs under control.
"I'm not sure I can be the best mother at sixteen. We just started our Junior year, and we have our whole lives ahead of us. What are our parents gonna say? What are they gonna do? We're not married, and-"
"Stop." Matt interrupted, trying to reassure me. "Don't get yourself worked up again."
"Okay." I said, slowly taking a very deep breath.
"See this ring?" Matt questioned, reaching for my hand, pointing at my Promise Ring.
I nodded, exhaling slowly to calm myself down.
"Like I said before, I will marry you one day. But now it just might have to be sooner than I thought."
"Don't leave me." I whispered, my voice full of sorrow and hurt.
I seriously don't know what I would do without him. If he leaves, there's nothing left. I can't raise a baby on my own.
"No," He began, looking at me with an expressionless glare. "I won't leave you, I can't. It's my baby, too. What would that say about me if I left my pregnant girlfriend?"
"It wouldn't say much. But what little it will say, says so much." I replied, looking up at him.
And it was true. Him leaving me because I'm pregnant, would just stir up a whole scenario that I don't want to find myself tangled up in.
"Exactly. Besides, I love you too much anyway. I'd be lost without you."
I smiled at him and took his hand in mine, intertwining our fingers.
"You always know what to say." I chuckled.
I knew I could count on him to say the right thing, he always does. I'm just unsure if that's really how he feels.
"We need to tell our parents right away."
"Yup," I sighed, "But how?"
"Just gotta come out and say it. There's no easy way of doing this." Matt answered, ending in a sigh.
I nodded.
I really have no clue how to tell our parents. I'm sure they'll be supportive of whatever we chose, but I don't want to disappoint them.
"It'll be okay," Matt stated, sensing my worrying.
"Hey, what's going on in here?" Brandy asked concerning, walking into my room, holding a grocery bag in her hand.
I stared at her, unsure of how to spill the beans.
"Brandy," I shuffled out of Matt's lap and into her arms.
"Matt, what's wrong?"
I looked over at Matt, giving him an unstable glare.
How do we do this?
"Audrey's pregnant,"
No holding back, no lying.. He just came out and said it.
It just sounds so unreal. That was the first time it was said out loud instead of just being implied.
"Are you sure?" She gasped. "Guess you won't need these," she shook her head, fetching a box of tampons out of the bag and put them on my desk.
"Look for yourself," Matt shrugged, pointing towards my bathroom.
Brandy slowly strolled to the bathroom, opening the door. She hesitantly entered, grabbing the little stick off the counter.
"Oh," she cried. "My gosh, Audrey!"
"I know!" I yelped, feeling ashamed.
"You guys said you weren't having sex!"
Mom and Tom must have talked to her.
"No, we weren't. We did once recently." Matt objected, telling the truth.
"I'm sorry to disappoint you, Brandy." I said, walking away, making no eye contact.
"No, Audrey."
Grabbing my arm to pull me back, I stared at her. She was heart broken. She instantly wrapped me in her arms.
"Nothing you could do or say could ever disappoint me, okay?"
"Okay," I sobbed into her shoulder.
"I love you." She said, kissing the top of my head.
I looked over at Matt who also had tears streaming down his cheeks.
"Matt, you too." She said, motioning for Matt to come over by where we were standing.
He grabbed me, bringing me into a deep embrace. Brandy hugged the both of us. We remained for a few moments. It was peaceful and reassuring.
"How are we gonna tell our parents?" Matt asked Brandy once we've departed from our embrace.
"There's no easy way to do it," Brandy sighed, "But I'll be there for support for you guys."
"Thanks, Brandy." Matt said, relieved.
She slightly nodded with a supportive smile in reply.
"When?" I asked.
"As soon as possible." She simply stated. "Let's get them all together at once, it'll be easiest."
Matt sat back down on my bed and I sat next to him. Brandy sat on my desk's roller chair across from us.
"Okay, that sounds good." Matt agreed. "Today's Wednesday, so let's do it this Sunday."
"Sunday brunch?" I suggested. "After church," I added.
"Perfect, but not out at a resturant. Just in case they don't take the news well, we should do it at home." Brandy stated.
"Right," I whispered.
I hoped for the best with this. They're going to be so disappointed, so ashamed.
"I'll arrange the brunch, you guys just show up." Brandy demanded. "11:30am on Sunday, here."
"Okay," Matt said, nodding his head.
"I have to go start dinner, but I'll talk to you guys later." Brandy said, kissing my forehead and slightly rubbing Matt's back.
Brandy was better than my own mother sometimes. She is understanding and patient. Mom can be such a pain and blame all her problems on everyone else. She's constantly gone, anyway. And sometimes that's probably for the better.
"It's okay," Matt whispered.
I nodded, unsure how to accept this.
I'm pregnant.
I'm sixteen.
I'm a Junior.
My life is over.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So! Tell me what you think!