hi hello just here to say I rewrote the infamous chapter 15 that's been giving me anxiety for weeks now just by looking at the comments
we can all say that original chapter was RUSHED
and very short
and didn't explain much, which lead to a lot of misunderstandings
and at the time this book had a solid 10 people reading it
so I didn't think much of it
BUT
I cannot BELIEVE some people now are saying that I treated suicide like a joke in that chapter
that DID NOT sit well with me
someone who HAS attempted suicide.
and has known people who have also tried
people I've had to TALK DOWN
"Taehyung didn't get a text back??? and wanted to die??? wow the author must think suicide is a joke"
are you kidding me?
bitch I'm not netflix and their dramatization methods on mental illness
I actually DO have a heart
so that literally broke MY heart to see
I recklessly assumed people would just make the correlation that MANY many events could lead up to someone being suicidal. as that's usually the case with someone who already appears to be so angry at the world, as Taehyung was.
it was not just a useless text back that made him want to die.
BUT I can admit here it's my fault for not making it clear to begin with.
I've literally been in Taehyung's shoes here. which is why everything I wrote came from somewhere in the heart.
it wasn't necessarily the same situation BUT I have ruined many relationships with friends due to my pessimistic attitude and it took a toll on me to see how all of my friendships took a turn for the worst.. because of MY actions
and I've only grown from that point on. and now I've learned how to really communicate.
I've learned to not get so upset so quickly and to LISTEN to people.
so I finally listened
to everyone call me a horrible writer
to people calling me disingenuous
people claiming how the first draft seemed over dramatic?
it WAS dramatic, but that was the point
suicide and mental illness IS dramatic. but that doesn't always have to be tied to such a negative connotation. dramatic actions help people see what's HAPPENING in the world, in my opinion
but anyway to keep this short
I am genuinely sorry if I made people feel as if I was making a mockery of something so serious.
trust me, I'll do better from now on.