We both stood there looking at each other.
"Yo, who's at the door-"
Cade came behind her and held her waist until he saw me standing there.
"Nessa."
I looked at both of them again for a second and just turned around and walked back to the elevator.
"Shit! Nessa wait!"-Cade
I walked to the elevator and frantically started pressing the elevator button until it finally opened. I ignored Cade yelling my name, and then walked into the elevator and kept pressing the button to close the door, but Cade slid into the elevator at the last minute and I just watched the door shut behind him.
"Nessa, please listen to me-"
"It's none of my business. It's none of my business-"
"It's not what you think-"
"Oh, really because it looks like exactly what we did!"
He paused and just stood there.
"I gotta get out of here."
I brushed past him to continue pressing the button.
"Nessa, please."
He turned around and press the stall button and stopped the elevator.
"Cade!"
"Look, I just want to explain."
"Explain what! That you're hooking up with the artist you're working with!"
"It just kind of happened. We were just in the studio one day and hit it off."
"Oh, I get it so this is just what you do with your recording artists."
"No, it's not. I just-"
"Just stop."
I brushed him out of the way and press the stall button again.
"If I would have none that this was a regular thing for you then half of the shit we went through would have never happened!"
"Nessa-"
"I invested so much time into whatever the hell we had when I was just some chick you checked off your list!"
"It's not like that."
"Well that's exactly what it looked like."
The elevator dinged and the doors opened. I brushed past him and walked to my car.
"Nessa."
I unlocked my car, and tried to open the door but he shut it behind me.
"Danni is nothing like you. You can not be upset over something you gave up. I don't even know what the hell you want me to do! You didn't want to be with me, but you don't want me with anyone else. I agreed to be friends because that's what YOU wanted. Well, now I'm doing something for me so you can accept that or you can go back to acting like I don't exist. At this point, do what you want. It's what you're good at."
He looked at me for a second and then walked back to the elevator. I stood there a second and then got in my car. I felt like what happened between me and Cade was once again for nothing. Honestly, I didn't believe what he said either. What if he never felt anything and it was just a joke to him. I mean Danni got Z before. I'm not surprised if she got Cade too. I started my car and drove back to my apartment. I parked and walked inside. I set my keys down and took my shoes off and sat on the couch. I looked through Instagram and Twitter and saw the sun was out so I thought back to what Zara said about growing my social media presence. So I went on the balcony and took some selfish and posted one.
Liked by therealnickmara, queenkayla, zionkuwonu, and 4,876 others
nessawilson sometimes the lighting be hittin' just right
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beanzforever FIRE PERIODT🔥
solitakuwonu WOW QUEEN BEHAVIOR
marabeanz oooo zion liked!!👀
raelynnbrowner golden hour queeeeeeeen✨
I scrolled through the comments and then heard someone knock at the door. I put my phone down and walked over and opened it.
"Hey."
"Hey..."
"Can we talk?"
I looked at for a second the walked over and sat on the couch. She shut the door and then sat in the other couch next to me.
"I uhm... I want to apologize for everything. I never should have taken your birthday into my hands, and I shouldn't have gone behind your back and invited the boys. I just.."
She paused for a second and then looked back up at me.
"I know that you are set on this whole path of rediscovery and righting your wrongs, but what happened happened, Nessa. Even though you swear you aren't punishing yourself anymore for what happened, you are. Separating yourself from almost all of your friends is still punishing yourself. Z doesn't hate you. Cade doesn't hate you, so the only one still hanging on to what happened is you. Look, I was completely wrong for what I did, but I wanted to show you that everyone is open to moving on."
I took a deep breath.
"Thank, Kayla. I know you meant well."
"I did. I never intend to hurt you."
"I appreciate it."
"So you don't hate me anymore?"
"I never hated you. I was just pissed."
"Okay, well I'm sorry."
"I know."
Kayla and I caught up the rest of the night even though we had only stopped talking for like a day. We talked until we both got tired and crashed on the couch.
NEXT MORNING
I heard my alarm blaring and got up and turned it off. I looked over at Kayla and she was snoring once again sprawled all over the couch. I went to my room and got ready for my busy day.
MY OUTFIT
I out my earrings in and walked back into the living room.
"Kayla."
"Hmm..."
"Omg, I don't have time this again."
I walked over and wrote on a piece of napkin that I had to leave to go to my meetings and I'll be back later today. I grabbed my keys and walked out to my car. I started it and headed over to meet my vocal coach. I parked and walk into the building. I walked into the room and saw him sitting down at a table.
"Oh, you must me Vanessa."
"Yea."
"I'm Westin."
"Nice to meet you."
"Alright, well let's get right to it."
We went over some vocal warm up exercises and did some drills over and over and he taught me some tips to take care of your voice properly.
"Well, that's all for today. I'll see you same time next week."
"Okay, thank you."
I walked out and got in my car and drove over to Natalie's office. I parked and walked inside to the room and saw Natalie sitting behind her desk.
"Hi, you must be Vanessa."
"Yes."
"I'm Natalie, but you probably already knew that."
"Yea."
We sat down and she talked me through how serious social media is in any artist's career. She taught me the in's and out's of media and which paid promotions to take and what would benefit me career wise. She taught me how to handle scandals and false headlines too.
"You're a fast learner which is very helpful especially for the industry you're about to be in."
"Thank you."
"Well Zara wanted to meet one more time on tomorrow with her here to go over some other things and truly prep you for interviews and paparazzi and awkward questions like that."
"Okay."
"Alright, well I'll see you then."
"Okay, thank you."
I walked out of her office and walked to my car and drove over to Zara's office. I said hey to Lisa and walked to her office.
"Well, look who it is."
"Hey, Zara."
"You look exhausted."
"I am."
I sat down in the chair in front of her desk.
"Well, that stinks because we still have a lot to cover."
We went over more stuff about my social media platforms and how to properly keep in touch without draining myself.
"Okay, since that's all covered let's talk music."
"Finally."
"Obviously Mav told you that I listened to your song Needy. You love it. I love it."
"Right."
"Which is all amazing, but we need to think of a time to release it."
"Release it?"
"What's the issue?"
"Well, I mean I made Needy mainly for me and just to show you and Mav. I didn't really mean for the entire world to hear it."
"What are you talking about?"
I looked away, and didn't say anything. She rubbed her head and sighed.
"Well, if you don't want to release Needy then I need a new song by tomorrow at 8 am."
"Tomorrow!"
"Well, I wasn't expecting you to come in here and tell me you didn't want to release Needy. You wrote Needy in like 6 hours. What's the issue anyway?"
"That's because I was pouring everything I felt in that moment into that song. I can't just write a song randomly. Why do you need by tomorrow anyway?"
"Well, I was expecting this conversation to go another way, but I booked you a performance at the Downtown LA Venus Festival on Saturday. So, if we have the song by tomorrow we can start rehearsals on Wednesday to have you ready for Saturday."
"The Venus Festival is like one of the biggest festivals in LA. Why do they want me?"
"The have this segment where they sample new artists to the public, and I got you a spot. It's a good way to get you out there and reach the public quicker."
She picked up her organic seaweed and kale smoothie and drank some.
"Oh, you also have an interview with Teen Vogue after your performance."
"Wait, what?"
"They are always biting at the chance to interview new and upcoming artists. Why do you think I was prepping you so much with media training? Nessa, I told you this would move fast and I take this seriously."
I took a deep breath and looked at the floor.
"Look, I don't mean to be harsh but I know you are so much more than what you allow yourself to be. But I also can't not fulfill the contract that we both signed. You wanted me to manage your career and that's what I'm trying to do. If you don't release Needy I can't force you because this is your voice and your song, but I also need you to give me something in return. That's how this works."
I looked back at her and paused.
"Okay, I'll write a new song."
"Thank you. I can call and reserve the studio for the next 24 hours for you if you want to start working tonight."
"Thanks."
"I've cleared the rest of the meetings I had for you this week so you can focus on this song. After that's all settled you'll be in rehearsals for the performance."
"Okay."
"Well, I think that's it for today. If you need any help or you start seeing music notes on the walls you know where to call me."
"Thanks, Zara."
"You're welcome."
I walked out and went outside to my car and drove over to my apartment and changed into some clothes since I would be staying in the studio all night.
MY OUTFIT
I got back in my car and drove over to the studio. I walked in and saw Mav sitting down at the mixing table.
"Long time no see, superstar."
I smiled
"Hey, Mav."
I went over and hugged him and set my stuff down.
"So I hear you gotta write a song by tomorrow."
"Yea.."
"How you gonna do that?"
"I have no idea."
"Well, maybe we can start and it might spark something."
Mav and I tried to brainstorm and worked on rhyming and shouting out any words that would spark something but nothing was working. We had been working for so long that we were going delirious. We even tried making a rap. I tried thinking of stuff that happened with Cade or Z recently, but nothing really inspired anything to write a song about. I thought about writing about how I was conflicted between Z and Cade but it was wayyyyy too early 2000's breakup song vibes for me. I l crumbled up another piece paper and looked down at my phone.
2:47
"Mav, Zara needs a new song in 5 hours and 13 minutes."
"Well, the most we have is us trying to make a rap about the alphabet."
"Omg."
"Well, you made Needy in less than 12 hours so what made that writing process so easy?"
"Needy came from somewhere when I was gonna through something that inspired me. I had something to talk about, and something to say. I wasn't just writing to write. I was writing because I needed to express how I was feeling but it was easier to write it into a song then directly say it."
"For someone who's always going through something, you're telling me that you haven't written anything else?"
"Haha, very funny."
"I'm serious. Nothing has inspired you since Needy?"
"Nope, nothing."
He paused for a second and twirled in his chair and I laid down on the couch.
"Well, what about before Needy?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well.. Needy was inspired by what? Or in your case who?"
"Well, mostly everything that happened between Cade, Z, and I. I felt I was being selfish with both them because I wanted them to need me as much as I needed them."
"Okay, well what about before that?"
"What do you mean before that?"
"Before all of that happened, did you write anything else?"
I thought back to before everything blew up between Z and I. I thought through our breakups and then I remembered.
"Omg."
"What?"
I picked up my phone and went to my notes.
"I wrote something on the plane when everything went down between Z and I in New York. I just kind of wrote how I was feeling."
"Well what was it?"
I read out some of the stuff I typed out and then described to Mav about how everything went down.
"Wow."
"Yea, I was pissed."
"Well, that sounds like something we can work with. Hold up, let me try something."
Mav turned around and started working on beat and after like 30 minutes started playing a really dope R&B beat.
PSA* Nessa is going to be "writing" the song Piece of Mind by Kehlani (if you haven't listened to it, go do it. It's a bomb song.) I am not claiming this song nor the lyrics as my own. I give all writing and song credits to the artist.*
"Mav, that's so good!"
"Well, now that we got a beat and a concept time to work on some lyrics."
We kept reading through the note on my phone and figuring out some words we could use for a chorus.
"Read the second to the last sentence in the second paragraph again."
"I feel stupid because he took what we had. He took the right I had in the relationship. He didn't have the right to end it on my behalf. It just shows me who he was. I worked and I tried and did everything I could. I didn't mess it up, he did. I just want to separate myself from him completely and get back what's mine to stop everything form hurting. He took the piece of my heart that didn't belong to him. He took what was mine."
"Piece of my heart...piece of my heart... what was mine..."
"Turn the beat on again."
He turned around and pressed play and just let the beat play over and over. I started humming the tune of the chorus I was thinking.
"Piece of mine... Piece of my heart...what-what was mine.."
"Nah, it's missing something."
I kept humming through the beat until the chorus looped back again.
"Piece of mine.... piece of mind... what was mine... break off a piece of mind..."
"Wait, sing that again."
I sang back the words I used and then we decided to build off of that. We work a few more hours until we pieced together the song.
"Alright, get in there, Nessa."
I walked into the booth and Mav pressed play and let the beat start and I started off the song.
"Tryna forget all of the messages, Tryna forget all of the stressin', 'Cause damn it was, Tryna forget all of the secondary, Feelings I had, man, it was fuckin' scary, Tryna get back to all my old ways, Tryna get back to all the hobbies from my old days, Tryna forget all the unnecessary, Thoughts from my head, man, it was pretty scary..."
I looked up at Mav and saw him smiling. I didn't know how I felt because it was like I was almost reliving what happened in New York. The more I sang the more I remembered how I felt on that plane ride home. I kept hearing Z and I's conversation on that street in New York. I felt the anger rebuild inside of me and felt my ears start to burn from the tears. It made me hate him all over again. The beat kept playing and then the chorus came in.
"Said I'm tryna break off a piece of mind, A piece of mind that I can't get right, Said I'm tryna break off a piece of mind, A piece of mind, my heart's on my side..."
I kept singing until the beat ended. I took looked up and felt the tears roll down my face. Mav pressed down on the voice button and started talking."
"You good, Nessa?"
I took a deep breath and wiped away the tears. I felt like all the hurt that I suppressed from that night was coming back harder than ever. I never hated Z in my life besides that moment. He broke everything inside of me and I didn't realize that it hurt just as much as when it happened. I didn't want to picture like Z like that anymore which made it worse. I felt like Zara was counting on me to make something just as raw as Needy. But Needy exposed everything I felt in the last two months, and I didn't know if I wanted people to hear it. I felt my heart in my throat and felt overwhelmed in the moment.
"Nessa, you good?"
I looked back up at Mav and took another deep breath.
"Yea, let's run it back."