Trigger warning !
Death ! Murder ! Suicidal thoughts! Blood!
Now that my dad and I have talked, my hateful feelings towards him have gotten better. Still, I don't feel happy. I don't feel happy here without Five.
I'm walking between some fields on the cliffs from one of the farmers that my parents have befriended. It reminds me of Five. Almost everything does but the silence when I walk through these fields and the many sounds, remind me of our spot.
The spot that Five brought me to several times.
I haven't stopped looking for Five since my dad sent him away. The problem is that he can be anywhere. In every time and every place.
A sound that I've grown familiar to in the last few weeks, catches my attention. Hooves.
A bit further away on the path are horses trotting but when my eyes fall upon their riders, I can't be bothered. I roll my eyes, not needing this at the moment and continue to walk like I haven't seen the rich boys who took my sweater.
"That's the girl from that dreadful piece of clothing!" I hear the son's friend yell.
Yes I am.
The son leads his horse next to me and my eyes fall upon the item in his hands. My eyes widen when I realize that it's my sweater which I have shed so many tears for.
"This was yours eh?" He questions. He knows the answer very well and I'm not going to answer one of his stupid questions one more time.
Last time that I've listened to him, I almost caused the end of the world and not to forget that I had the amazing talk about Five with my dear dad.
I don't need that to happen again.
Ignoring his question, I continue walking. "Are you not going to answer?" He rolls his eyes in annoyance.
No, I am not going to answer one more question of yours.
"Well if you want this so badly then I suggest you go get it!" He smirks, throwing my sweater into the deep. My eyes follow the piece of clothing that meant so much to me fall hundreds of meters down.
"Why aren't you going after it?" The son asks with a smirk still on his face. I remind myself that Five can still return and that I can't give up on him.
"Answer you stupid girl!" He raises his voice as he practically jumps off his horse.
Before I can roll my eyes at him again, he grabs my shirt's collar and pulls me closer to him.
My lip starts to tremble. I know very well that I'm still not stable enough to go through this situation but I can't leave. It would only make my situation with these boys even worse. I have to breathe in and out. I can't change the time line.
The fucking time line. If it wasn't for my parents, I would've kicked their asses after our first conversation. If you'd even call that a conversation.
I wouldn't have given them my sweater and they wouldn't have ever said a word to me again.
"Go after it!" The son yells at me, wanting me to go after my sweater. I love that sweater but no way I'm going to die for it. Not now. Not now that I've finally talked to my dad.
"I'm not going after it!" I reply to him. The hope that he might be thrown aback by my response fades away when his smirk only gets bigger.
His friends have also left their horses for what they are and they are now joining their friend.
I know what's going to happen. I don't want it to happen. For these last few weeks I have thought about stopping with everything regularly.
But now that I have given this . . new life a chance, I don't want to give up now. Funny really, that I finally gave in to start this new life and now my wishes from in the start are coming true.
I step backwards, not having any other choice. I know that I'm close to the edge but the boys are not giving me a way to escape.
I wanted to grow old with Five and die with him. Not alone. Not because of these assholes.
Not seeing another way out, I know I have to try something else. Something vulnerable.
"Can I go home please?" I ask them, using the last hope that I have left.
"You annoying thing. You don't deserve to live." Are the words that come out of the son's mouth. My breathing immediately quickens and my chest goes up and down faster than it has ever done.
I'm useless. Pathetic. Nothing. A monster. A killer. Not worth it.
"Don't." I would've added a please but if it is going to end right here, I don't want to play their game any longer. I won't give in.
This combining with all the sadness that has been inside of me for the last few weeks makes my vision blurry and my eyes glossy again.
The hope of Five returning was the only thing that kept me going through my time in the Middle ages and now. . if this really happens, I won't be able to be there when he returns. If he returns after all.
The son's hands come closer to my body. One last breath and I feel myself falling backwards.
It doesn't take long for me to realize what is happening. After all these moments thinking about it, it's really happening.
I should be happy.
I should be grateful that my family will have a mouth less to feed.
But I'm not. Five's face flashes in front of my eyes, just like it kept flashing in front of my eyes every single time that I closed them.
A frown appears on my forehead when I let myself go back through all these memories.
Mike and I playing when we were younger. Him teaching me how to escape with any object that I can find. He did so much for me. I haven't thanked him enough and now I will never get the chance to.
My friends and I growing up like normal teenagers. They're crazy but I love them for it. Every single laugh that we shared will always stay with me.
Five.
There aren't any exact memories that I think of. His face is the only thing I need to remember to realize that if he returns, I won't be there.
I won't be there to welcome him with a warm embrace.
I won't be there to tell him that I talked to my dad.
I won't be there to grow old with him.
Surprisingly, it doesn't take long until I hit the ground. I slowly open my eyes and I realize that I'm still alive. There's a loud beep in my ears and my vision is even more blurry than it had been when I was still standing on the cliff.
When I start to taste the flavor of blood in my mouth, I realize that it won't take long until I'm actually dead.
This can't be happening.
Is this how everything is going to end?
I gasp for air but don't get the chance since I'm mainly just coughing up my own blood.
The realization that I'm choking on my blood hits me as I can feel blood dripping out of my mouth.
Not being able to move, I try my hardest best to keep on breathing even though my lungs feel like they are being crushed. Goose bumps appear when I feel that I'm laying in a pool of blood.
I'm still able to cry because tears are streaming down my cheeks.
I cough more and more, more violently each time. The blood continues to fill my mouth as it also keeps dripping out of it, making the pool even bigger.
I do my hardest best to spat the red liquid out so I won't choke on it but after trying this several times, I know that it won't work. I will die even if I don't want to.
The thing that I want to do is to find Five. I need him. This. . this is what happens when he isn't here to help me. This is the end result.
My eyelids become heavier with each breath and I realize that it isn't going to take long anymore. I will be out of this miserable situation soon enough.
Where I'll go, I have absolutely no idea but everything is better than slowly choking on my own blood without anyone by my side.
"Y/n! Y/n!" A voice makes sure I use all the strength that I have left to keep my eyes open.
Without anyone by my side. I must be hallucinating so I don't die alone, without anyone by my side.
The voice does sound very familiar. Too familiar but my head doesn't function well anymore. I think I've lost too much blood or my brains aren't getting
enough oxygen anymore.
I start to feel light headed when a figure runs towards me. Hallucinations, I remind myself. I'm hallucinating.
"Don't die please." The voice sounds desperate but I'm too weak to say a word. If I would be able to open my mouth further, I still wouldn't be able to say a word since my mouth is full of blood. Blood that wants to drip out of my mouth and that wants to make the pool of blood that I am laying in bigger.
"It's me." The voice says through all the tears that person is shedding "Five."
Five.
Of course I would want Five to be here, holding my hand as I go. It doesn't even surprise me that he is the one that's here because of my hallucinating.
He came back to me. Even if it is a stupid hallucination. In the end, he was here.
My fingers are locked with another hand's fingers, causing me to frown. Is it possible to feel hallucinations or am I already too far gone that it's just dreaming?
"I'm sorry that I came back too late. I should've came here earlier. I'm so sorry." Five cries as he squeezes my hand, confusing me even more "I love you."
I need more time with him, even if he is a hallucination. It's Five and I don't want to leave him like this. I want to sit up and hug him till his cheeks are dry again. I want to be with him.
"Don't leave me." Five continues to cry "This is all my fault."
That's when a tear falls upon my hand. I feel the tiny tear upon my skin and that's when I realize that this isn't a stupid hallucination after all.
Five really is here. He is sitting next to me while I am bleeding to death.
The need to breathe in, sit up and feel his warm hand against my cold cheek can't help me. It can't give me enough power or enough breaths to do as I want. My body can't anymore.
One last cough. That's all it takes till everything goes black but this time I don't see Five when I close my eyes.
Here you go! This was one of my favorite chapters to write! It's probably creepy and all but I really did like to write this scene.. I actually cried as I wrote this! (with the help of a sad playlist)