"Please don't." I begged as I saw all the suitcases.
"I'm sorry, I said I'd try but this is too much! Y/N, I can't do this anymore."
"You disappoint everyone, I need someone real, I need someone who's not so damn insecure."
"Camila, no! Wait!" I was running down the hall but suddenly it became longer and longer.
"I'm sorry, I'm leaving you."
"Goodbye, Y/N, I wish you well."
"CAMILA!" I screamed as I dropped to the floor when she grabbed Adrianna and walked out the door.
When my knees hit the floor I screamed loudly out of agony and pain. But suddenly felt so empty and felt nothing but heart ache, "Said you'd never let go." I whispered and suddenly hit the floor.
/
I gasped violently for air as I shot up from my sleep and I breathed deeply and heavily. Camila jumped with me from the sudden movement and I held my throat. I buried my head into my hands and tried my hardest to get the air back into my lungs.
"Hm, you okay, honey?" She whispered tiredly as she grabbed my arm and I just shook my head.
My fingernails scraping the top of my head as I tried to calm my erratically beating heart. I felt tears against my cheeks without knowing and she swerved her head to look at me. Her tired eyes showing nothing but worry and I shook my head.
"Hey, you okay?" She whispered again but I sniffled deeply.
"Come here." She wrapped her arm around me the best she could and laid us back down.
I looked over to see out our window to see that night fell and I was so fucking hurt. Camila tiredly blinked at me as she laid us down and pressed her stomach to my side.
"You wanna talk about it?" She whispered as she rubbed my tummy.
I then closed my eyes still feeling that ache and still feeling how hard my heart was thumping.
"You... left me." I mumbled quietly and she looked up at me.
"Don't let me feel that, I'll do anything." I added as I looked up at the ceiling and she grabbed my hand.
She softly pressed it against her belly and kissed my shoulder with a small smile.
"You feel that?" She looked me in the eyes through the darkness.
"She's awake." I felt the little baby foot flutter against Camila's stomach.
"She's definitely a little night owl." She informed me and I started to forget about the nightmare, "And you know what?"
"What?"
"She gets so calm when you start to speak, it's as if you put her in a trance. She loves everything that you listen to and whatever you feed me she absolutely will not kick. Which is why I let you pick out what you want to eat because she agrees with everything you do and she's not even in you." She huffed causing me to smile a bit and I felt another kick.
"It's kinda annoying because she was supposed to my little mommy's girl. But I can already tell she's gonna be clinging to you like Velcro."
"Larissa Luna." Camila mumbled and I smirked to myself.
"You like that name don't you?" I chuckled and she nodded with a small giggle.
"Sorta kinda." She smirked and it got a bit silent as we laid in bed.
I looked back up at the ceiling and she rubbed my abdomen, "You sure you're okay?" She whispered and I nodded to myself.
"Yeah, it was just weird." I softly spoke up and she leaned up to press her lips against my jaw.
"You're gonna be okay, we'll be okay." She tried to reassure me and I nodded while I looked over at my bedside table.
The clock read four fifteen and I sighed looking back down at her, "You're right, we'll be fine, get some sleep okay? You have that interview." I kissed the top of her head and she nuzzled her way into my neck.
"It's more of a podcast- that popular one where they talk relationships and sex. Yeah-"
"I know." I chuckled while Camila smirked.
"I don't know what they're gonna ask, I'm kinda scared, I don't ever do this." She expressed to me and I tried to rub her arm from our position.
"Just be yourself, answer what you wanna answer and don't worry about what anyone will think. I mean, it's their podcast for a reason- well radio show whatever it is." I comforted her the best I could and she nodded.
"Get some sleep though so you're not gonna be stumbling over your words." I chuckled and kissed her head again while her pregnant belly curved to my side.
"I love you." She whispered into my ear and I smiled.
"I love you too." I replied and stared at the ceiling until I felt her breathing steady and I drifted back off.
But I didn't have a dream, I didn't have a nightmare, it was just black.
_
"Welcome back to another episode of the lovecast."
"But special thanks to Nasty Gal for supporting us, they're having a fifty percent sale on- wait for it."
"Everything!" Brady, Reina and George spoke together with a laugh.
"But it's only for the next forty eight hours so get in and order up. Shipping is five ninety-nine and so on. But, you can get an additional price bumped off if you go to the Nasty Gal's website with the special code of BRG369."
"So, uh we have a great episode today." Reina hummed with a smirk and they chuckled while Camila smiled at them.
"Camila Cabello is with us today." I heard the man, Brady speak over Reina and I sat back as I watched her nervously laugh to herself.
"Singer/songwriter- a literal pop star-"
"But that's not why she's on the show." Reina sighed out causing them to chuckle, "We don't even care, we don't do all the glitzy shit and questions- we love her because of the sex that just exceeds from her being."
"So, a very pregnant Camila Cabello, hi." George spoke calmly with a gentle smile.
"What? I'm pregnant? I don't even know what a penis is." She joked and they laughed lightly while Camila waved at everyone.
"We have a lot of questions- honestly had no idea you of all people would accept. I think I've listened to every song you've ever put out at least a hundred times." Brady spoke into the mic and I didn't know why but the atmosphere was so light and I could tell she was starting to loosen up a lot more than she thought she would've.
"I think it'll be fun to get out of my comfort zone but thank you I've worked my ass off." She spoke into the mic with a cute little smirk.
"Of course! Being an adult is so fun." Reina giggled as they picked up a piece of paper that had their entire show written down.
"But, yeah, we have tons of questions... you know the usual, like, uh, butt stuff, morning stuff, and just... more stuff." Reina chuckled again as Camila smirked.
"Hit me, what do y'all got?"
"We're gonna do a speed round but first... when's that album coming out girl? We've been waiting-"
"Oh no, don't get me started on your new single with Shawn Mendes. That was almost the steamiest I've ever seen you been in a music video." George slapped his hand down slightly causing Camila to laugh.
"Yeah, almost can never forget my almost sex tape being leaked in London." Camila snorted and I laughed with them in the safety of the room behind them.
"But the album is coming sooner than you guys think- I know, I know I've said that a lot lately but... I will be dropping a song with my lovely soon to be wife next Friday. I don't think it'll be on the album per say but it'll definitely come out. It's-"
"Is it sex fueled?" Brady smirked and Camila laughed as she shook her head.
"Actually no, we have a lot of sex fueled collabs that we haven't released yet. But this song, Best Part is more like love and just wanting to be together. Not taking each other for granted. Sorta."
"Wait, wait, wait, what do you mean a lot? Like-"
"We have probably more than enough for a joint album."
"Just of sex songs?!" Reina and George exclaimed and she smirked with an evil giggle.
"Uhm have you seen my wife? Of course, I'd write a shit ton." Camila chuckled again and I sat back with a pleased smirk.
"I'm more Señora now, she's tamed me."
"Ooooh, speaking of Señorita though, was it weird?" Brady smirked and Camila hummed.
"We were actually a bit uncomfortable at first but he's honestly one of my best friends so I didn't feel weird in that sense; but it was only weird since we had to shoot some intimate scenes which I'm only used to doing with Y/NN."
"Oh, yeah, understandable." Reina nodded as she fixed her leather jacket.
"But overall it was a good experience and it was only a music video- a short movie." She shrugged carelessly and George snorted.
"Break his heart why don't ya?" He laughed causing them to follow suit.
"We have ten questions right here that could be a little speed round but we love to hear stories." George hummed as he picked up his cards with the questions.
"Alright, let's do it." Camila nodded with a small smile and I could see Eliot our tv producer comfortably standing back with the cameras rolling.
"Number one, ever faked an orgasm?" He asked and she nodded quickly.
"Yes. When I had my first boyfriend or whatever he was at the time. It wasn't always good. So, I had to fake it so he'd like stop trying." She laughed softly with them at the story.
"I feel like we've all done that with our first boyfriends or... well do guys even fake them? I swear you can see a pair of melons at the store and jizz your pants at the sight alone." Reina joked and Brady nodded.
"Definitely, when I was in high school a simple breeze between my legs could get me off."
"So ridiculous." George laughed as Reina pulled up another card.
"Number two. Spit or swallow?"
"Spitters are quitters, and I don't ever quit." She smirked and Reina screeched.
"Oh my- hell yes."
"So juicy, who would've thought?" George gasped cutely and I could tell he was gay.
"There's a lot of little secrets Y/NN and I have."
"Oh my God, BDSM?" Reina asked and Brady and George looked at her.
"Oop bonus question excuse me." She laughed and Camila shook her head.
"Uhh not exactly. We don't get violent so to speak."
"Bullshit." I mumbled to myself and I saw Camila glance my way with a smirk.
"Favorite sex position?" Brady asked when he pulled up the next card.
"Oh that's kind of a hard one. No pun intended-"
"Aha!" George and Reina laughed abruptly before giggling amongst themselves.
"-but probably doggy or when I'm on top, yeah those two are my favorites." Camila smirked and I had no idea why but I felt my body heating up from embarrassment and excitement.
"Especially now since I'm pregnant, it's so much easier since my belly isn't in the way."
"Makes sense, I had my kid like seven months ago, I can definitely understand." Reina shared and I knew the podcast would last over an hour and a half.
"Who gave you the strongest orgasm of your life?" George dramatically asked and we all giggled.
"Y/N hands down. When we first ever had sex we were already like six months into our relationship- yeah, I know." Camila noticed the slightly shocked look on their faces as she made her own face.
"But we were super busy and it was Coachella weekend. We fucked on the floor of her studio and I honestly thought I was gonna die because of how powerful it was. I think that was the first time I ever had like a true orgasm." Camila shared her story and I covered my face when they looked back at me.
They laughed loudly as I groaned, "Y/N don't be shy!" Brady laughed deeply while Camila waited for the next question with a giggle.
"Where's the craziest place you've ever had sex?" Reina asked with a pearly white smile and she hummed.
"I don't know... I wanna say the drive in theaters where literal anyone around could see us. But probably that hot tub in London, it was only crazy because well... it got leaked but-"
They broke out into laughter again and Reina breathed in sharply to contain herself.
"At least you have dignity, I had sex in a bathroom at Whole Foods." She shares and I bursted into giggles with Eliot along with the rest of the producers and tech team.
"Really? Honestly the only crazy I've ever been is have sex with John with his mother in the house? Wow, I need to let it loose." George sighed out with a roll of his eyes and Camila then perked up.
"Oh no, we conceived Adrianna- my first child- in Y/N's childhood bed with her sister across the hall." Camila grimaced and they groaned out a laugh while Brady shrugged.
"Sex on a nude beach? Nobody?" Brady asked and then sighed, "Alright, just me I guess- by the way don't ever do that after eating a foot long corn dog."
"Gross." Reina chuckled out her disgust and Brady looked down at his card.
"Anything you won't do in bed? Like, you just won't ever do." Brady moved on with the next question.
"I wouldn't like... you know- I guess toss the salad?" Camila then sheepishly spoke and I yelled into my arm feeling embarrassed.
"I mean! She's never asked for that but I just wouldn't do it. She works out too much and I'd be way too afraid."
They yelled out their laughter and I groaned feeling as if I was melting into my seat.
"Y/NN." I felt someone poke me and I peeked my eyes out but saw a phone recording me.
"Oh fuck, I gotta get outta here." I groaned with a small laugh as I felt my face literally burning.
"Wait, has she to you?" George asked and it was Camila's turn to pause and turn beet red.
"Oh snap!" Brady laughed and Camila bursted with a deep laugh.
"Moving onnn." She blushed heavily causing them to all tease her for it.
"Honey, nothing is wrong with a little backdoor grocery eating. Okay, boo?" George shook his head causing me to literally slide down the chair I was sitting in.
"How old were you when you lost your V-Card?" George then asked and Camila closed her eyes as thought to herself.
"It wasn't really memorable but I think I was like seventeen? With someone other than Y/N and I'd like to keep that persons name private."
"I literally lost mine at like fourteen underneath a bridge with a girl- it was the most horrifying experience ever."
"You've said this a million times." Reina laughed at George as she played with the card that had the upcoming question.
"It still needs to be said."
"You ever sent any nudes?" She wiggled her eyebrows and Camila smirked.
"Uh, yeah duh, tour gets wildly lonely when Y/N isn't around. She's the only person with my nudes... well hopefully she is."
"Really?" Brady spoke in a breath, "I've never once in my life-"
"Oh bullshit, you're telling us that you've never once sent a junk pic to a girl you've been hooking up with? Not even your girlfriend." Reina asked but he just shook his head as he crossed his arms.
"No, I really haven't." He smiled softly with a small giggle and George rolled his eyes.
"We're gonna have to go through his phone later."
"Ooh opinions on oral and fingering?!" Reina asked another question and Camila hummed again.
"Gotta say... I think we're both pros at mouth lovin' not to toot my own horn but I think I have that stuff down on lock. But the other one-"
"The other one." George snickered with Brady and they all giggled.
"It just seems like such a dirty word." Camila cutely spoke and then laughed it off, "It's cool though, it's easier when you're sitting in the back of an Uber and she can't control herself." She then shrugged trying to get over her shyness.
But I died in my seat as I squeezed my eyes shut.
"And that's not the craziest place you've ever had sex? Wow." George teases and Camila reached over to take a sip of her water in the mug they gave her.
"I wouldn't exactly call it sex."
"Last question of this round!" Brady playfully slammed his hand down and they looked at her.
"Ever tried anal?" They all asked and she froze again.
"Oh what!" They geeked out and then they looked back at me while Camila downed her water.
"Only once." She giggled with red cheeks and she groaned to herself, "Ah, I can already see my Twitter timeline right now." She shook her head and they all laughed.
"The Y/N and Camila fandom is deadly guys."
"They're just very passionate, I guess." She shared with a small smile and leaned her head against her palm.
"They're like your kids just almost... murderous." Reina joked and Camila lightly giggled.
"Yeah, especially about the wedding they're like when the hell are you two getting married?! Hurry up!"
"Did you guys postpone?" George asked but Camila shook her head.
"Oh no, we've just been busy these past two years. From having Adrianna, raising her and working on two albums, and now having our second baby- it's a bit much. We already basically see each other as wives so might as well just wait on the planning that will only last a day anyway."
"Who's planning it if you don't mind me asking? Are you guys both doing it together?" Reina asked but Camila shook her head.
"Y/NN is personal friends with the Kardashian's and Jenner's so I know a part of their team is helping Y/N fulfill my dream, I guess. She said she wanted me to relax so I wouldn't stress over small things." She spoke but then snorted to herself which I caught onto.
I bit my lip as Eliot looked at me awkwardly and I breathed in to myself.
"That's so awesome, holy shit."
"Aye mate, you guys have that appointment tomorrow?" He asked me and I nodded without looking up at him.
"Mhm." I sighed, I was a little afraid if I was being honest.
Therapy scared me because I didn't like to open up to strangers. How would it be?
"How many kids do you guys plan on having?" George asked and Camila smiled to herself.
"We didn't actually even mean to have Adrianna this early, we did plan this little baby here but I don't know. I told Y/N I wasn't gonna stop until I get a boy so depends how many kids we'll have." She sniggered and they happily conversed about it.
It went on like that for an hour more and I couldn't help but fall in love with how she talked so highly of me. Even after all the shit I put her through this past week and a half. The more I thought about my actions the more I realized I was a huge fucking dumbass. I wanted to cringe myself to the damn floor and be run over by a car. How beautiful she was inside and out to just keep on with me. To deal with my shit.
She's the one and I was an idiot for even thinking she wouldn't want me in the same way.
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I was gonna add Twitter shit but I'm already at 3K words soooo no 😗
But I hope y'all enjoyed and if you didn't then
Have a great day or night beautifuls x
- Maddie
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