We walked in silence as the two of us passed a few small shops. I made sure to be about a foot away from him, and it wasn't just for the stench from his breath. Niall kept looking down with his hands in his pockets, trying to think of something to say. I, on the other hand, wanted to run back home.
"Auddie?" Niall finally spoke, "I...I...honestly don't--know what to--say."
I noticed that he was way too tipsy, so I sat him down on the first bench I could find, "Niall, are you alright?"
His blue eyes were so dull, "No. No, it's actually freakin' terrible."
I don't know what possessed me to hug him, but there we were holding each other tightly. Tears sprang from my eyes, "Niall--"
"Look, Auddie, don't feel sorry for me, okay?" Niall said wiping the tears from my eyes.
Shaking my head, I said, "Niall, what happened?"
Taking a deep sigh, he began telling his story, "The day after I came home, I wasn't feeling myself. I felt like I was missing something, you know? So I went to go eat Chinese food."
I started to laugh, "Why did you go eat Chinese food?"
Niall blushed, "Because you said it made you feel better, so I thought I'd see if that was true." Then he continued, "Anyways, some of my band mates called me up that night and invited me to go to a club. They said it might get my mind off of--you. So I went with them and I probably had a few drinks." I scoffed.
"Okay," Niall smirked, "More than a few. Well, I was having some fun when Josh told me that there was an American asking for me. My first thought was that you came to see me, so Josh led me to the girl. And that's when I met Nastia."
He must've seen how uneasy I was, so Niall said, "I mean, I wasn't interested in her at first. In fact, I was mad that Josh introduced me to her. Nastia kept pestering me for a while before I just told her I wasn't interested."
"But then why are you with her now?" I asked.
Niall rubbed his neck and closed his eyes, "I was at a pub one night, and there she was. Nastia told me she was in love with me. All I could do was think about you, but I knew I could never have you, so I just decided to give a relationship with her a chance.
"The lads hated her though. Liam kept telling me she was just using me and even Harry told me just 'cause Nastia was hot doesn't mean she was worth it. They kept telling me I should try to get you back but I--I couldn't do it. Not to mention, I had seen that some girls on Twitter were already against you and I didn't want them to say anything else about you."
It was true. I stopped getting on Twitter for a while, because some girls decided to tell me I was just a loser trying to get attention for myself. Squeezing Niall's hand, I smiled weakly as he continued, "Auddie, I never meant to hurt you by going out with Nastia. I promise you that."
I nodded my head slowly, "Niall, I was never upset about you going out with Nastia. I was just worried about you partying so much."
Niall caressed my hand, "I know, and you had every right to be. It's just--Nastia needed to get recognized and she didn't want to be alone at the parties and so I promised her I'd go." Then his face changed from a small smile to a tense expression, "But there was just a point where I think Nastia didn't want to get any model agencies' attention, she just wanted to party. And you know me, I like to have fun, but there's just a point when you just want to relax.
"So, I decided to talk to her about it and all she did was laugh in my face. Nastia just kept telling me that I would lose fans if I kept myself indoors all the time, so she started to take me to fashion shows and concerts and parties..."
"And then it got worse." I finished for him.
Niall turned his gaze from my hands to my eyes, "I wanted to make her happy, you know? She was my girl. But the lads kept blasting me about it and I had huge fight with Louis that night you called me. And when you told me all what you said, I lost it.
"Nastia told me not worry about it. But I just couldn't take it anymore. And so I decided I'd come home. And disappear for a little while." I wrinkled my nose a little bit, feeling a bit sympathetic for him. Niall always wanted to make the people around him happy even at the cost of tiring himself out.
I rested my head on his firm shoulder, "I'm so sorry."
Niall put his arm around me, "You did nothing wrong. I should've stopped worrying about what I thought was best for me." He cleared his throat, "When the lads told me that you were in the hospital because of all the stress of your da's disappearance, I should've talked to you, but--"
"We're both at fault, Niall." I cut him mid-sentence.
I heard him laugh a little, "Whatever helps you sleep at night." Then something occured in me. Looking at the time on my phone, I gave a small squeal. "What's the matter?"
"I have twenty minutes to get home."
"Well, I'll take you home." Niall said nonchalantly.
Not giving it another a moment, I smelled his breath, "I'm driving."
It didn't take too long before we arrived at Aunt Gina's. I made sure to take my time though, it was the first time I had ever driven in another country and I wasn't about to get a ticket. I parked Niall's car in the drive way and made my way to open the door. Niall was still a little tipsy as he walked with me where we found a note:
Auddie, we went to a concert. Won't be home til midnight. You better be home when we get back! -D and G.
"Well, Auddie, I best let you go, ey?" Niall smiled.
I smirked, "You're still stuttering a little bit. Come in, I'll fix something for you, it might help."
Niall followed me to the kitchen as I started to put ingredients in a blender. "What are you doin'?"
"It's a trick I learned off the Internet to help with hangovers and stuff." I said pouring a glass of my concoction.
"Do you plan on getting drunk anytime soon?" He laughed.
"No," I stuck my tongue, "I figured I would find a recipe just in case my roommate in college decided to be silly and get drunk one night."
Niall took a sip of it, "Are you just this intelligent?"
I sat myself next to him and watched as Niall finished the drink, "Feel better?"
"Yeah, thanks." He smiled warmly, and some how Niall's eyes looked bluer in the dimmed light, "So, why are you really here?"
Opening the fridge, I picked out an apple and sat next to him taking a bite, "I needed to get away. It's just--everything reminds me of Dad. And I couldn't take it..." Niall rubbed my back lightly. "Sometimes I wonder what made me not even take my meds, you know? I felt so numb when I took them and I was tired of feeling that way, so I just stopped....And then the night when I heard the news--"
Niall took me in his arms and kissed my forehead. It felt so good to be back in his arms, that's where I belonged. So much peace overwhelmed me. I thought of the way Niall looked like the very first time I ever met him. He looked so different, no more blond locks and semi-mature looks. But what about me? I rarely ever wore my glasses and I was as skinny as ever. What happened to the two of us?
"Auddie, you're strong, don't ever forget that. Okay?" Niall smiled, "Don't let what happened to your da' distract you. Maybe this can make you stronger."
I snuggled my head into his chest and nodded my head, "Niall?"
"Yes, love?"
Taking a bit gulp, I asked, "What's going to happen between you and Nastia?"
Niall turned his eyes away from me and let go of my embrace, "I don't know, I just figured I would just not worry about her until I go back to London."
"Well, if that's the case, then if you ever need a friend I'm here. You know, to talk about girl drama. All my guy friends ask me for advice." I sighed.
"Oh, um, yeah." He shrugged, "Well, um, I should be going home. I promised my ma' I'd be home before twelve."
I checked his pupils one more time before I let leave the house. Leading him to the door, Niall stopped by the drawing room where the piano awaited to be played. He turned to give me a michieveous look. "I've already started to play again, don't worry."
Niall ruffled my hair a little bit as he passed me and made his way to the door, "Well, it was nice seeing you again."
"Yeah." I smiled, "Bye." Slowly, I closed the door and rest my head on the door giving a huge sigh.
Why couldn't I just have been bold and said something witty? Why couldn't I just say Nastia wasn't worth his time? Why couldn't I just tell him I should've never let him go the first time? But it was too late and who knew when I would see him next.
Suddenly, someone knocked on the door lightly. Dumbfounded, I opened the door to find Niall looking shyly with his hand around his arm, "Auddie...I...um, well, what I want to say is that--"
"Yes, we can go out for lunch tomorrow." I laughed.
Niall let out a sigh and chuckled, "Well, if you insist."
Nodding my head, "Yeah, you know, as friends and stuff..." Why did I just say that...?
"Oh yeah, of course." Niall mumbled, "Well, I'll pick you up, okay?" I nodded my head again and we said our goodbyes for the last time that night.
Walking up the stairs, I looked at my surroundings and had to remind myself I wasn't in a dream. That this was all real. Even if Niall and I were only friends, I didn't care. He was there at least, and that's all that mattered to me.
I put on my Pepsi pajama pants and my old church camp shirt. By instinct, I put my hair up in a bun and took my contacts out and let my geeky side appear as I put on my glasses on. Checking my phone, I saw that my mom left me a voicemail and so I listened intently as Sadie's voice was heard, "Hey sis! Just wanna say that we miss you!"
Then Toby's voice, "Yeah! Bring us back some Irish food, okay?"
"Oh, shush, Toby! Anyways, call us when you get the chance. Oh, and I got your text about that cute guy, I need pictures!"
I laughed lightly before I heard Mom's soothing voice, "Hey honey, ti amo, tesoro. Praying for you every night. Call us when you get the chance. Bye!"
No one could ever say that my family was not worth spending time with. They would be forever wrong. I made a mental note to call my family back before lunch the next day, there was so much to tell them. Walking up to the the small bedside table, I turned on the radio and Irish music began to blare out. Laying on my bed, I heard the radio annoucer say the next song was sung by Cara Dillon. "An oldie but a goodie, ey?" He said.
The beauitful piano began to play and I let Cara's voice slowly set me in my dreams:
"It being in the springtime and the small birds were singing,
Down by yon shady harbour I carelessly did stray,
The thrushes they were warbling,
The violets they were charming,
To view fond lovers talking, a while I did delay."
I was so close to drifting to sleep when the song finished and tears ran down my face. This was where God wanted me to be. Why He brought Niall back into my life, I didn't know. But that wasn't the most important thing.
For too long, I felt like I was drowning in my less than optimistic thoughts. For too long, seizures ran my life to the point of possibly never live a normal life. And for the first time in my life, I didn't feel my head hurting or my heart beating too fast. No, I was at peace. Somewhere far away I knew that my dad was hoping that was the case, even if he would never be able to see me again.
I turned off the light and said a little prayer. Tomorrow was going to be a good day, and no one would come in and take it away from me.
A/N: And I have updated! Hold the applause haha. Anyways, what do ya think? Can't wait to hear from you loves :)
Also check out the song Auddie heard on the radio. I listened to do it and read the back story to the lyrics. Basically, it's about a couple who leave Ireland for America and how they miss they're homeland. Unfortunately, I couldn't find the song along with the lyrics on YouTube, but I definitely recommend the song!
xo AC Leon