Chapter 35:
The first thought that crossed my mind the next morning was 'God I hate being heartbroken.'
Because that's how I felt. Yet again.
"This is getting old," I said to myself a couple days later. Which was another incredibly sad thing. Yes, sometimes I talk to myself. But I'm a little bit lonely and it works.
I climbed out of bed and pulled a hoodie on over my cami. Marina wasn't up yet, but she shouldn't be, as she got up at 5, and at 6, and at 7.
I don't think she was feeling well.
I carried the baby monitor downstairs with me to get some breakfast. My dad had already left for work so the house was deserted. And lonely.
I couldn't help but let out the sigh of regret as I remembered me humbling myself and calling Damon, only to have a girl answer his phone.
God it makes me so mad.
I decided that Marina and I needed to get out today. I couldn't spend my days moping around and wallowing in my own pity. Nope, it definitely would not work.
I ate some toast and quickly showered, pulling on some comfy denim skinnies and a forest green hoodie.
Marina woke up shortly after I was finished getting ready. I changed her and put her in some jeans and an adorable shirt and pea coat. Dressing baby girls is incredibly fun.
I packed her diaper bag and we were on our way.
As I was driving down the road and away from my house, I realized I had no plans on what I was doing. I guess I was just going to drive around for a little while and see where it took me.
Unfortunately I didn't think this whole thing through. Something I tend to do a lot.
I didn't even notice as I drove down a familiar road, not until I saw the sign.
Now Entering Florence.
Just dandy.
I shrugged it off. So what if this is the town where Taylor lives. I mean, I go places all the time in Tucson, and I don't run into people I know. I knew that I wouldn't run into Taylor the one time I came to Florence. Might as well have some fun.
I decided to pick up some stuff I needed before I wandered around doing nothing, so I parked in a Wal-Mart parking lot.
I pulled Marina out and headed inside, ignoring the aching in my chest. There wasn't anything I could do about it.
I started wandering the aisles, getting the things I needed and throwing them in my cart where Marina was sleeping. As I was standing in the deodorant aisle, I heard a voice that I never wanted to hear again.
"You have to be effin kidding me," I moaned.
I could distinctly hear Taylor's voice talking, what sounded like into a phone. He was in the other aisle so I tried to come down the other side so he wouldn't see me. Unfortunately, he was moving too.
"Yeah so it all worked out.... Monica?"
I abruptly turned. Taylor was standing there looking at me in shock. Next to him was a brunette woman about his age; she was looking back and forth between us.
"Taylor," I stated, not making any effort to start a conversation.
Does God hate me? Because that was definitely running through my mind at the moment. I couldn't even grasp the fact that I had awkwardly run into Taylor twice now. I mean, seriously? What the heck is the chance of that?
"What are you doing here?" he asked me.
"Umm... shopping?" I offered. He continued to stare at me.
"No! I mean, away from NYU. Why aren't you in New York?" He asked.
The woman was still looking back and forth between us, but smartly she didn't say anything.
"I left," I said calmly.
He still had a look of complete shock on his face. "Why?"
And then his eyes seemed to flitter to the baby sleeping in the cart. Thankfully she was sleeping.
"Monica?" he asked me. He was definitely confused. I wasn't. I was pissed. God, this is awkward.
"Hmm?" I asked, shifting so I was slightly blocking Marina.
He set something in his cart and walked over so he could look at Marina.
He didn't say anything as he stared at her.
"Well..." I finally said, breaking the awkward silence, "It was great seeing you again, but I really need to get going."
"Is she mine?" he asked quietly.
I froze, "What?"
"Monica, is she mine?"
"Taylor, of course not. Has it been long enough since I left? No. It's only been like 7 months."
He sighed, "Yeah your right." Then he seemed to get angry.
"You were pregnant when you were seeing me?"
I looked at him like he was crazy. "No, of course not!"
"Then would you like to explain this?"
The woman was staring at both of us, looking a little bit frightened.
"Taylor! Chill out! I wasn't pregnant. She's not biologically mine."
"Yeah right, Monica. Don't tell me you dropped out of college and adopted. Plus, she looks exactly like you!" Yep, he was angry.
"Taylor. I'm serious. I'm not going to talk to you like this. Chill."
He took a deep breath and calmed down. But then he looked at me like he was expecting me to explain.
I sighed, "Taylor, she was my sister's. My sister died and I got guardianship over her, okay?"
Taylor's face softened, "Oh my God, Monica. I had no idea! I'm so sorry I accused you! God, I'm a bastard."
"It's okay, really. Let's just forget it." I said. I turned to the woman who was staring at both of us.
"Hi, I'm Monica," I said, sticking out my hand.
She gave me an awkward smile, "So I've heard," she said, shaking my hand.
I chuckled nervously, "Sorry about that. Taylor doesn't know the meaning of discretion," I said, flashing Taylor a glance.
She laughed, "I'm Jane. Taylor's girlfriend."
"Wow. That just makes everything more awkward," I said, making her laugh again.
"It's fine really. So I'm assuming you'd be Taylor's ex?" she asked.
She seemed nice enough.
"Yeah, we dated briefly last summer." I replied.
"Very briefly," Taylor said nervously, "Like less than a month."
"Cool it, Taylor," I mouthed.
He smiled nervously. Man he's a spaz.
"What happened?" she asked.
"Oh I went to college, too far away. And it wasn't serious enough," I said, trying to play it down on Taylor's part. This girl was just asking for trouble. Why would she want to know those things?
"Oh, I see."
I turned to Taylor, smiling.
"Well, Taylor, it was great to see you again, but I got to get going."
He nodded, "Okay, bye Monica."
After our awkward goodbyes I checked out and headed home, not really in the mood for wandering through the towns. God, I'm pitiful.
I headed inside and my dad was cooking dinner.
"Hey Hon!" he called, "How was your day?"
I sat down at the kitchen table and set Marina down with her back against me. She cooed.
"It was okay, how about yours?"
He shrugged, "Fine. Dinner will be ready soon. You hungry?"
I nodded, "What's for dinner?"
He grinned, "Beef Stroganoff."
I laughed but shook my head in faux disappointment. My dad was slightly obsessed with
Beef stroganoff.
A few minutes later he set a plate in front of me and I dug in.
"Soo..." my dad said, trying to make small talk.
"Sooo??" I replied, watching his nervous face.
He stuck a bite of steak in his mouth and chewed slowly, all the while a thoughtful look on his face.
"What Dad?" I asked when he didn't say anything else.
He chuckled, but then sighed, "Have you talked to Damon?"
"No Dad."
"I'm just trying to help!"
"Please stop trying!" I whined.
He didn't say anything else as we ate dinner.
I got Marina ready for bed and then put her and myself down early. I drifted off to sleep with Damon on my mind.
At about 4 in the morning I heard Marina on the monitor. I pulled myself out of bed, missing Damon more than anything at the moment, and dragged myself to her room.
As I walked through the door I saw a man's figure holding her. It wasn't my dad's because it was taller and leaner. I practically ran back to my room where I grabbed the gun I keep in my closet. I ran back and walked into Marina's room.
My hands trembled as I pointed it at the figure.
"Put her down or I swear I'll shoot you," I said, surprised that my voice sounded strong.
The person whirled to face me.
"Monica?" he asked, surprised.
I flicked on the light, revealing Damon holding an already asleep Monica.
"Damon?" I asked. I was sure the shock was written across my face. I put the gun down and stormed back to my room. I put the gun away and climbed into my bed, my body facing away from my open door. I was mad as hell. What was he doing back? He didn't have a right to come in here and take Marina.
A few minutes later I felt my bed dip and Damon got in. His arm instantly went around my waist, pulling me into him.
"Monica," he sighed into my hair. Instantly all my anger went away even though I didn't want it to.
"Monica, please listen to me."
"What?" I said roughly.
He sighed and turned me around so I was facing him.
"Please." He said sadly.
I didn't say anything but my facial features softened.
"I promised I would never leave you guys," he told me.
I shook my head, "I want you to go to college."
"I transferred."
My eyes widened. Why hadn't we thought about that?
"Are you serious?" I asked.
He nodded, smiling at me.
"I can be here with you two and get my school done. I would do anything to never lose you guys Monica. I love you."
I just stared into his eyes, loving him more than ever at the moment. But then I remembered the girl. I furrowed my eyebrows.
"What about the girl?" I asked.
"The girl?" he asked, looking confused.
"Don't play games with me, Damon. The girl that picked up your phone on Friday."
He sat there, saying nothing as he thought about it. He looked really thoughtful, looking at the wall behind me. Realization flashed across his face.
"Ohh! Emma!"
"Who?" I asked.
"My roommate's girlfriend, Monica."
I instantly felt ridiculous. I had jumped to conclusions.
"I'm sorry," I said, burying my face in his chest.
"For what?" he asked, his fingers running through my hair.
"I thought you were seeing some other girl already."
He shook his head violently enough I could feel it.
"Never, Monica. I only love you."
I smiled against him.
"I love you so much, Damon."
"I'm never going to leave you. I'm here, I promise."
I snuggled against his chest, happy to have him back.