He just continued to look at me, and I saw a tear drop from his eye. He closed his mouth but kept his eyes locked to mine. He looked down for a second and then picked up his phone and walked to the door. I ran over and grabbed him with tears streaming down my face.
"Zion, please. Just let me explain."
He turned around and threw me off of him. He looked at me dead in my face and didn't say anything. I looked at him with tears running down his face and it looked like everything we had was drained away from him. He looked at me one more time, and then turned around and shut the door. I stood there for a second and then sank to the floor and cried with my face in my hands. I just cried and cried and then cried some more. Everything I tried to avoid came crashing down on me and the pressure felt unbearable. I got up and looked at the flowers on the counter. I walked over and smelled them, and let my tears fall onto the roses and then I paused for a second. Then I grabbed the vase and threw it at the wall with all the strength in me. Then I just threw anything in my path. I wasn't lashing out cause I was angry. I did it because I was frustrated. Not with Z or Cade or anyone else besides myself. I didn't know what was wrong with me, but I successfully continuously fucked up every good thing I have ever had in my life. For once I just wanted to get it right, but every time something was going good I messed it up. I just kept throwing and screaming and then I felt arms wrap around me.
"Nessa, stop! Nessa, stop!"
They kept restraining me and then I just collapsed in their arms and cried my eyes out. They just held me and rocked me back and forth as I sobbed with everything in me. I gasped for my air and then looked up and saw it was Kayla and then fell back into her embrace and continued to cry.
Zion's POV
I shut the door and got in my car. I was in shock. Nessa had pulled some twisted shit, but nothing like this. She wouldn't have done that to me. She wouldn't do that. Why would she do that? I felt like something broke inside of me. Everything was going so well so I didn't understand. I started the car and drove back to the house. I got out and walked inside. I dropped the keys on the kitchen counter. I watched through my blurred vision as the tears fell onto the counter.
"Eh, Z what-"-Nick
I sighed.
"Yo.. what's going on?"
"Nessa slept with Cade."
"Dude, stop playing."
He paused and looked at me.
"Z,...Nessa wouldn't do that."
I wiped away my tears and looked at him.
"Yea, that's what I thought too."
I brushed past him and walked to my room. I walked in and closed the door. I looked around and saw her face. Her face was everywhere, and all I could think about how I wasn't enough for her and I didn't know why. Once again, she decided that I wasn't enough. There wasn't anything I could do that would have satisfied her. I felt it all build inside of me and I just started plowing through my room and trashing anything that reminded me of her.
"Z! Yo Z, chill!"-Nick
I stopped and stood there and just dropped on my bed holding the last picture frame of us. The rest of the guys walked in. I hung my head and just clung to the picture in my hand and cried silently. I felt them sit down on my bed and felt one of them put their hand on my back.
"It's gonna be alright, Z."
NEXT MORNING
I turned over and tried to open my eyes despite them being incredibly swollen. I laid there for a second and closed my eyes again. Last night played over in my head and the look on Z's face just kept playing over and over in my head. I felt a tear stream down my face then I heard the door open. I opened my eyes and looked up at Kayla.
"Hey.."
"Hey."
She walked over and sat on my bed.
"How are you feeling?"
"Like the biggest screw up on the planet."
"Don't say that, Nessa."
"It's fine, Kayla. Let's not act like you didn't warn me and I didn't cause this problem myself."
She just looked down and sighed.
"I'm just embarrassed and so angry at myself. I just keep letting people down. I just want to stay in my room and never come out."
"Well, I guess that you're not gonna like what I'm about to tell you then."
"What do you mean-"
I was stopped by a knock at the door.
"Kayla, who's that?"
"Just let me explain first."
I got up and walked to the door and opened it.
"Hey, Nessa."
I shut the door and turned to face Kayla.
"What the hell is he doing here?"
"Nessa-"
"Just stop. Just hold on."
I took a deep breath and opened the door again.
"Hey...again"
"Hey... sorry about that."
"You're good. I kind of expected it actually."
I turned around to Kayla.
"You told him?"
"Nessa-"
"Told me what?"
I turned back at Kayla.
"Nessa, this isn't what I was going to tell you."
"Then what are you-"
"Nessa?"
I turned back around and my heart sank.
"Mom?"
"Nessa, what's going on?"-Mom
I just felt completely overwhelmed and felt like I couldn't breath. I felt like all my lies were swallowing me and I didn't know how to handle it. I felt the tears race to my eyes and my breath grow shallow.
"I-I I can't do this."
I grabbed my keys and brushed past Cade and my mom.
"Nessa!"
"Nessa, wait!"
I got in my car and saw Kayla running out. I started it and just started driving. I didn't know where I was going I just knew I had to get out of there. I just kept driving until I ended up at the place I needed to go. I got out of the car and knocked on the door. I waited a second and then Nick opened the door. He looked at me for a second.
"You can't be here, Nessa."
"Nick, please just let me explain. It's not what he thinks. If I could just talk to him-"
"Nessa-"
"It's not what he thinks, Nick"
"Nessa-"
"I just need to talk to him, please. I-"
"Nessa!"
I paused with tears rolling down my face.
"This isn't like the other times. There isn't anything to explain. You took it too far, Nessa."
"No, Nick. Please."
"Go home, Nessa."
"Please."
"Nessa, go home."
He looked at me, and paused then he shut the door.
"Nick, plea-"
The door shut, and I felt like I was by myself. I quietly sobbed on the front step. Then I pulled myself together, and got back into my car. I felt like everything I had was gone. I couldn't blame anybody but myself. I just sat there and then broke down in my car. I cried so hard I couldn't breath. Zion became part of me. I loved him more than words could describe and this time I knew there wasn't any coming back from that. There was no late night where he would come over and we could talk it out or a heated argument that turned into to intimacy. It was gone. Everything we had was gone, and there wasn't anything I could do to get it back.