Sean.
You can't be mad at Kaycee.
You can't be mad at Kaycee.
You can't be mad at Kaycee.
It had been two days since Zoi's class. Kaycee hadn't reached out to me via social media at all this time, and neither did I. However, I knew I couldn't put off rehearsals for Blake's new song any more and earlier yesterday I texted on the group chat that I finally "felt better" and was ready to rehearse again. We were meeting today. And I couldn't have been more nervous. I was not only going to face Kaycee, but I had to dance the most intimate dance one could imagine whilst all our misunderstandings were only getting worse. All of this had to somehow take place without us yelling at each other. I had to remind myself to not get mad at her today. In fact, I had to BEG myself to not get mad at her today. I knew she was going to be just as mad as I was, maybe even madder, but I felt like I needed to step up this time. Maybe not for her, but for the rest of the crew.
"You ready to go?" Mom knocked on my door.
"Yeah."
-xxxx-
It was a nightmare. Tessandra kept saying we barely had any connection, but I thought we had no connection at all. I tried my very best to stay composed with Kaycee while she refused to look me in the eye and slightly flinched every time I touched her, but I was beginning to lose patience as well. I tried to initiate small talk with her earlier and honestly, I was grateful that she managed to reply in one word answers and wasn't yelling or anything.
"You guys." Tessandra sighed disappointedly. "What's wrong? Sean, have you still not recovered from your flu? Is that why Kaycee doesn't want to be near you?"
I had to stifle a laugh. Tessandra had tried to come up with multiple theories as to why we weren't getting the dance right but this was the funniest one by far.
"Maybe we should try again." I suggested.
"You HAVE tried again! Hell, you guys have tried this over ten times now. It's been much over an hour. What is going on?"
Kaycee and I remained silent.
"Are you guys upset with each other?" Blake asked hesitantly.
We said nothing.
"Guys, we're filming the music video this week. I think we should call it a day today but whatever it is that you two need to solve, I'm gonna need you to do that by the end of this week. I don't care if that means you have to rehearse this 100 times at home in your garage. But you two know the choreography and know exactly the emotions that you need to portray. I expect a lot more from you both." Tessandra said.
Kaycee and I nodded in agreement. She wasn't wrong at all. From a choreographer's perspective, she was absolutely right. I didn't want to let her down and I certainly didn't want to let Blake down. Kaycee and I were being trusted with a pretty big project and it wasn't fair of us to let our personal problems cause issues.
With as much courage as I could possibly have, I walked up to Kaycee and took a deep breath. "Do you want to work on it at my house right now?"
"Piece of advice, guys. The dance isn't going to look any better unless you figure out your problems." Tim said, keeping his volume low. "There's no point in trying to practice this unless you guys squash whatever tension you've got between yourselves."
"There's no tension." Kaycee protested quietly.
Tim shrugged and left us by ourselves to go talk to Tessandra and Blake.
"We can rehearse this at my house or even yours, if you'd like." I offered again.
Kaycee sighed, visibly unwilling to spend any more time with me. For a split second, I swear her eyes filled with tears but before I could confirm, she muttered something about going to the washroom and left.
"Sean." Tessandra came up to me as she saw Kaycee walk away. "What on earth happened between you two?"
Honestly, even I didn't know the answer to that. I tried to come up with an excuse but she wasn't having it.
"You guys are a duo. You can't let this happen. She's your partner, Sean. There should be no reason for her to flinch from you the way she did today. You're much more mature than this."
"We just got into a bit of a disagreement." I stated.
"Well, I suggest that you sort it out today. Please."
"I think it's better if we don't talk for a little while. I just don't want it to result in another fight or-",
"I'd much rather see you guys have a fight and scream your throats out at each other than this awkward, silent, uncomfortable tension you've got going. Disagreements are going to happen, it's inevitable. But ignoring each other is not the way out."
I sighed, knowing she was right. And moreover, I wasn't going to let our issues ruin Blake's music video and Tessandra's brilliant choreography, not to forget Tim's direction as well. We were executing something very, very close to Blake's heart including Tessandra and Tim's hours of nonstop hardwork. It wasn't fair to the crew.
"Alright." I agreed. "But I don't think she's gonna wanna come home and rehearse with me."
"I'll talk to her." Tessandra said.
Surprisingly, Tessandra did not need to do that. Kaycee returned from the washroom and said that her mom was okay with her rehearsing at my place.
"Um, is it okay if I sleepover? It's just that it's a two hour drive and-",
Great. Just great.
"Yeah." I nodded, trying to sound as neutral as possible.
Serris was home for the weekend and was on her way to pick us up. I was praying with all my heart that she wouldn't bring up the conversation I had with her about Kaycee a while ago, because now was just not the time. However, knowing Serris, she was more than capable of bringing it up.
Kaycee and I patiently waited outside at the seating area after we awkwardly bid goodbye to the rest of the crew. I could tell she was nervous because her knee would not stop bouncing. She was giving me anxiety at this point. I almost felt bad for being that angry at her, but the words "we're just partners" and "I have no reason to be loyal to you" would not stop ringing inside of me. This hurt much more than all the times Kaycee's kneed my man parts, or kicked me in the face, or tire my body to the point where walking felt like the hardest thing to do.
"Serris is here." I said quietly as my phone vibrated from a text she sent me.
-xxxx-
Although I was angry and hurt, I admit I'm thankful that Kaycee made the car ride much more bearable than I expected. She was beyond sweet to Serris (who thankfully did not bring anything up) and it almost didn't seem like Kaycee and I were fighting.
Almost.
"We'll be here in the garage to practice." I said to Serris as she made her way inside.
"If you're like, hungry or anything, I can make something." I said to Kaycee, who threw her backpack to the side and had her eyes glued to her phone.
"I'm good."
"Okay, let's get started."
It was getting worse. The dance looked pathetic. WE looked pathetic. Yes, we got the moves. Yes, we got the timing. Yes, we were synchronized. But none of that mattered because we had no connection. No eye contact. Kaycee still flinched every time I touched her, which sucked because my hands were supposed to be on her for 90% of the freaking dance. We said nothing to each other except for "let's try it again."
"I'm done." She stated after we tried doing it for the nth time. "I'm really tired."
"Oh, um, okay." I said. "I can make you something."
"No, I'm just gonna sleep." She muttered as she grabbed her backpack and went inside.
-xxx-
I couldn't sleep. I tossed and turned for hours. The fact that this was what my relationship with Kaycee had come down to scared the living shit out of me. We were never like this. Hell, it was a 100 times more awkward than when we first met 8 years ago at that dance convention. This was so uncomfortable. So new. So sickening.
I missed her. I missed binge watching Friends. I missed going to classes with her. I missed our fist bumps. And as much as I meant every word of what I had said to her at Zoi's class, I couldn't help but think that I just threw away 8 years of the most special friendship I've ever built.
"We're just partners."
"I have no reason to be loyal to you."
"Sean." Mom barged in and flicked the lights on, nearly blinding me to death.
Instantly, I knew something was wrong. It was 1:15 in the morning.
"Why the hell is Kaycee crying?" She barked.
———-
Thank you guys SO much for the support!! I love reading your feedback and I hope you guys will stick with me on this one :)
Thank you so much again!!