"I'll taste the devil's tears
Drink from his soul, but I'll never give up you
I'll taste the devil's tears
Drink from his soul, but I'll never give up you”
Song for the chapter is “The Devil’s Tears” by Angus & Julia Stone.
-Him-
He sat in his car for a few minutes willing his pulse to slow to normal. Logically he knew there was no danger. Osman was like her brother and he was just protecting her. But he had been taken by surprise and cornered by several men, so he couldn’t help having a physical reaction. A male of the species protecting his mate. It was biology, instinct.
He was still a little pissed off that he had been driven out of her mahalle , even though he fully anticipated it. He used biology as his excuse for that too, testosterone you know?
He wasn’t afraid of Osman or the other people in her neighborhood, but he was afraid of not being able to see her again. She didn’t have her job anymore as an excuse to leave the house. It was entirely possible for her father to forbid her to leave the neighborhood, at least unaccompanied. He didn’t have many people from her inner circle on his side. Emre was with him, but he wasn’t that close to her. CeyCey would have his back, but what influence could he have over her family members?
He started the engine and pulled out onto the street. He did some of his best thinking while driving, besides, he didn’t want to risk being mobbed by her neighbors.
The only thing he could do was keep in contact with her. He needed to apologize for putting her in that situation in the first place. He never meant to embarrass her. Hopefully she forgave him.
It was just, he missed her so much. He’d never been that kind of person, who craved the attention of others. He still wasn’t to be honest, but with her it was different. Before he met her, he would go months without seeing any friends or loved ones. He had always been a physically affectionate person, but again, with her it was different. He needed to touch her.
His plan was just to see her and talk to her a little, maybe hold her hand and hug her. But when he saw her in the library, how the setting sun made her hair look like mahogany and her skin like gold, all his plans flew out the window. When he had her alone in the alcove, he was close enough to smell the berry scent of her lip balm. It made her lips look even more alluring than they were normally, which was a lot. Which was why his control slipped and he kissed her. He couldn’t bring himself to regret it though.
He decided to stop at the gym to blow off some steam, put the adrenaline rush to good use. It worked to release his tension and energy from the confrontation, but his sexual frustration still lingered. It was ever present really. He had gotten used to it in the months since he met her, but it had gotten more difficult for him since he returned from the Balkans. Maybe because he didn’t get to see her and touch her everyday like before when she worked at the agency. Maybe it was the forbidden aspect of their rekindled romance. Maybe it had been over a year since he’d had sex with anyone and the love of his life was heartbreakingly beautiful at all times. Needless to say, he drove home to shower in peace.
When he was feeling more clearheaded and comfortable in his sleep sweats, he decided to text her.
Sanem Hanim :
I’m sorry that I shamed you in the mahalle today. You will probably have to endure some strict discipline because of my actions. I beg your forgiveness for causing you distress, but not for kissing you like that. That I would do again in an instant. It was one of the best decisions I’ve made in my life.
Can
He was done going slow and being subtle.