Blackout
"Alex control your tongue." I spoke with rage. "I know you never got on the right foot with Antoine but everything has a limit. Don't accuse him of something he has not done. Don't hold him responsible for your actions."
"I am holding him responsible for my actions?!?! I am accusing him?!?! You're damn right I am. I am holding him responsible for everything that has been happening with me for the past 6 years, causing me to do anything that I have done till now. He is responsible for the pain and agony in my life and he will pay for it. Mark my words." Said Alex angrily as he rolls up his blood stained sleeve,s taking a step closer to Antoine. I immediately push him back to his original position.
"What on earth is wrong with you Alex?!? Behave your self. Will you bother to tell me what is going on clearly? In fact, will either one you speak up." I say loudly, glancing once at Alex and then at Antoine.
I notice that Antoine could no longer look into my eyes as he always did, even after hurting me in the past. He kept looking down with his head hung low. This was a new reaction from him and it made me realise that he may be somehow involved in this issue. But what was more scary was that for the first time he looked as if he was repented for his actions. I mean, that surely explained the level of his involvement and the intensity of the crime.
"What did you do Antoine?" I said softly but with a tone of agitation. I tried to get him to make eye contact with me but he just couldnt do it. I waited for probably one minute but I got no answers.
"I am asking again and this time for the last time- what did you do?"
"I...I...I."
"Really Veronica, this is the guy your in love with? Unbelievable! He doesn't even have the balls to tell you the truth. I'll tell you instead. He hired some goons to take care of me while I was out buying flowers for you and they kidnapped me, kept me hostage in a dark room, and then took me to a dark ally and beat me up. After the ceremony got over they let me go. Hence the blood stained shirt and my absence at the ceremony."
I was literally speechless listening to this. My jaw probably dropped just listening to it. I couldn't believe Antoine could stoop down to this level in order to separate me from another man. He had become worse than what he was 6 years ago. At least 6 years back he was only hurting me. Now he is literally torturing people around me which in turn was also affecting me. I couldn't believe I was trying to protect a man like him from the misery of our future together thinking it would inflict pain upon him.
Yet, out of all these thoughts, a small part of me still believed that Alex was lying and that Antoine wasn't involved and that he hadn't become the monster that I feared he had become.
"So how is Antoine involved in all this? I mean, you have no proof that he hired them." I said.
"Are you for really? Are hearing yourself? Did you not hear what I said? A dozen of goons beat me in a dark ally, very conveniently when the ceremony was going on, and left me stranded there to fend for myself after the ceremony was over. That should have given this loser enough time to spend with you all alone, to woo you and... you know... have him all to yourself. I mean you like a treat today for any man..."
Antoine punched him hard across his cheek bone bruising him even more. Everyone in the lobby was staring at us. I think someone even called the police. I didn't know what to say or do other than simply pull him back. Before I could figure out what to say, Antoine spoke with a threatening tone-
"Don't ever say something like that to Veronica. Otherwise next time I'll make sure you don't comeback alive for that dark ally."
I was shocked to hear those words from Antoine's mouth. How could I possibly be so naive that I didn't see this happening? I had no hope left- About Antoine being a better human or about we being together. He had become the guy you would prefer to keep your distance from because all they do is bring trouble, pain and agony.
To be honest, I finally know the flaw in the words Antoine had told me 6 years ago. It was not me who wished to be part of the drama. But it was him instead. He craved for it. He thrived on it. But me- I like living without drama. The four years that I was away from this man were honestly the best years of my life. Yes, the moments that I shared with Antoine were priceless and not something I would trade, but my sanity and peace was more important. This time, I didn't care about a heartbreak because my heart was used to it by now. So much so that it begged me to stay away from Antoine because it was sick of him and his ways. It was immune to pain he caused.
I looked at Antoine for the longest time. His eyes didn't have that sparkle that was present just half an hour ago. Nor was it the general blue coloured. It was dark and fierce. I couldn't believe that they were they some eyes that once made me want to get lost in its mystery because now I feared to even look into them as they were capable of incarcerating me.
His eyes still kept me in a trance but now for completely different reasons. Once a upon a time his eyes held me tightly in its grip so that it would never loose me again while now it held me tightly begging me to find that lost happiness that it felt, once upon a time.
"That's all I wanted to hear the frenchie say. I am sorry for saying that to you V. You look really elegant and you deserve much better than him. I rest my case here." Said Alex in a tone filled with the sense of victory.
I continued looking at Antoine with more rage than concern.
"Is any of this true? Please tell me it's not."
He kept looking down and he didn't say a thing.
"You're unbelievable Antoine. I can't believe that I fell for you. The least you can do is own up to your actions. I told you 'we' were a mistake. I was so stupid to fall for that smile and innocence that you actually use to cover up this side of you. Shame on you. You disgust me."
"I didn't do it. I knew my friends Olivier and Paul were going to do something but I had no idea they would go to this extent. I hate and despise Alex. I resist the very idea of you being with him and not with me. But harming him would mean hurting you. So I would never even dream of...."
"You bloody have balls to lie straight to Veronica's face. I can't believe she is trying to protect a man like you. I can't believe she is suffering because of you. I really don't understand why she wants to be with a man like you.I blame you for the 6 years of my life. I blame you for taking away the woman I love from me. And I will forever hold you responsible for her dying."
"Alex shut up. You promised me you won't..."
"Wait...wait. h...hold on. Dying? Promise? What the fuck is going on?"
"N.. n..nothing."
"Nothing? Really Veronica? How long are you going to hide this from him? One day or the other this bastard is going to find out. Might as well tell him now." that was all that Alex said before going up to our room. He left me all alone in this mess. Pfft.
"Would you mind explaining what just happened?" Antoine spoke with a cracked voice.
"I didn't want you to know. I didn't want to hurt you. All I wanted was to spend whatever time I have left happily with you by my side, just like the old days before thing went downhill between us. Being with you helps me forget about my disease and the fact that I am dying. You let me enjoy life and let me live in the moment. As I said before I can hurt anyone but you. I can let Alex go through the pain of my illness but I can't let you get affected. Hence I am marrying him and not you. I know he will move on but you won't. I couldnt walk away from the marriage because noone other than alex knows about the illness. This was the only way I thought I could keep people in the dark about it. With everyone focusing on the wedding arrangements no one would notice my health changes or the doctors appointments..." I said crying.
I moved close to him to hold his hands but he moved back and sat on the sofa. Antoine ran his hand through his hair and then buried his face in his palm. I know he was heartbroken, devastated and was hurt and this was the exact reason why I did not want him to find out about this.
After a great deal of silence and tears shred by both of us, Antoine spoke-
"How long have you known?"
"6 months"
"How long do you have?"
"I don't know. It's a rare disease. The treatment is still in development and the ones available just provide relief for a few months but would have left me bed ridden. And anyways the stage at which it was detected the doctors said there was no point in trying the available treatments and wasting what was left of my life." I said unable to stop the tears from flowing down.
"Right... And why didn't you tell me again? Please dont give me the reason- 'because I didn't want to hurt you and because I love you'- because A) you don't love me and B) whether you like it or not, a news of this kind was always going to hurt me. It is always going to affect me adversely in the future, irrespective of whether you told me now or later. In fact, it would have been more painful if I found out in the future. So there was no way you could protect me from this." He spoke with anger.
"I know... I just didn't want to spoil our present because of my sad future... and I may lie about a lot of things but I never lied about my love for you. You were always the most important person in my life. I know I wasn't there for you always but believe me there is not a single day that passes without me not regretting not being there for you..."
Antoine starts laughing villainously at my words. I look at him confused. He stops laughing and then says-
" I can't believe you just lied to my face. The only important thing in your life is your ego and your self. You don't care about anyone else. You don't regret anything. You think you are "miss perfection" and every thing you do is justified, but guess what! it's not. You make everyone believe its their fault when it's not.
I still don't know why having a kid was mistake for which I had to be punished this way. I still don't understand why kissing Crimsyn at your sister's wedding was such a crime after seeing you kiss Alex. Guess what? It was not. The world failed to see what caused my actions. They failed to see your actions. But someone up there in the universe saw and now you're suffering. You deserved this. I am tired of running behind you because you will never change. You disgust me."
Just saying so much he walked away to the side of the hall,leaving me in my place standing like a statue. I had been frozen by his cold and hostile behaviour. I know he didn't mean the last few words and I knew he was angry and hurt and that blaming me for this was his way of coping but I still couldn't help but get affected and cry even more. It seems that even in my last few days instead of staying happy and living it peacefully all I was doing was crying.
The pain kept increasing so much so that I felt I was going to collapse. My heart started having a sharp pain. And I just knew I was having a heartattack. I turned around to call Antoine for help but I couldn't say a word over my pain. I fell to the ground and as things started blacking out in front of my eyes, I felt Antoine's hand hold mine and his voice shout for help, multiple times. I could feel his tears fall on my face and he kept cradling my head. The last words I heard consciously were spoken with cracking voice, filled with guilt and regret-"I will not let you die now... I love you to much... I need you to much... I am sorry... Please don't leave me."