'don't let him in.' jeongin's mind told him but he didn't listen, he mumbled a soft "okay" as he slowly opened the door and let the older in.
hyunjin nodded in appreciation as he sat down, he took notice of the plushie he had won jeongin sitting on the couch and he smiled at that,
"i see you kept him."
"yeah." jeongin said as he sat down opposite to the older as he turned off the television before diverting his full attention to his visitor.
"what do you want hyung?" he asked.
truth be told, he had not expected hyunjin to come here, sure, they weren't meeting eye to eye right now but the younger didn't know that it would mean that he'd show up here unexpected.
"h-how are you?" hyunjin stuttered.
"i'm okay, thank you." jeongin replied softly, refusing to meet hyunjin's eyes, which made the older frown slightly.
"i- i also missed you.." hyunjin added and jeongin stilled.
'i miss you too hyungie.. so much.'
"w-what do you want hyung?" jeongin asked again as hyunjin sighed,
"i want to say i'm sorry, w-what i did was wrong and i shouldn't have done that."
'don't listen to his lies.'
'he doesn't want you.'
"c-can we pretend this never happened baby? i- i want us to continue what we have."
'i'm not kim seungmin.'
"please?"
'i'm not some toy you could play with and toss around when you get bored.'
"b-baby? please say something?"
"please don't call me baby anymore."
silence.
hyunjin stared at him in surprise, he didn't expect jeongin to say something like that, it caught him off guard.
"i'm not seungmin.. i'm not your baby." jeongin replied, looking down, still refusing to look him in the eye.
hyunjin flinched at the mention of the name, it's as if someone poured a cold bucket of water all over him.
"i told you-"
"i know, i'm sorry." jeongin cut him off as he played with the hem of his shirt.
"but it's true right? i'm not him and i will never be him."
'i'll never be who your heart will long for.'
"i don't. but you, you want him to be me yes? someone who you have putty in your fingers, someone at your beck and call."
'someone who could actually return your feelings.'
"but i'm not seungmin right? it sucks, but that's life i guess."
"i-"
"i'm sorry to disappoint, i'll do better. this sunday, i'll put on a show that'll make everyone believe you moved on from him. that you don't have feelings for seung-"
"SHUT UP!" hyunjin snapped, making jeongin stop midway as hyunjin stood up, his breathing heavy and there were tears in his eyes.
"SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP! I KNOW I FUCKED UP, I KNOW I HURT YOU, I KNOW THAT WHAT I DID WAS A DICK MOVE BUT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP SAYING HIS FUCKING NAME!"
"stop telling me what to do! i'm not-" jeongin snapped at him, he was afraid to look at hyunjin's eyes, afraid that he would get hypnotized by his stare, like a moth to a flame and he'd be too drunk with his emotions that he'll get hurt again.
"don't you fucking say his name. you know i hate hearing it!" hyunjin growled at him but jeongin stood up, meeting him head on.
"and you know that i hate being compared to other people!" jeongin shot back, his fists clenching as his breath was rigid as well.
"i paid you to be my boyfriend. let me have my money's worth." hyunjin spat at him.
"wow, real original, pretty woman is shakinG!" jeongin snickered.
he felt so livid right now, all of the pent up frustrations he's had over this week, the feelings he's buried deep down for months, the sudden urge to stand up and not let himself get fucked over.
his emotions were everywhere.
"is that what you think of me? you think i'm sort of prostitute you could pick up on the streets and give a fifty and i'd suck your dick?" jeongin sneered.
hyunjin shooked his head, "that's not what i was trying to say!"
"that's what you wanted me to feel!" jeongin shot back, pushing hyunjin's chest slightly as he got in his face.
"n-no baby, that's not it. i-" hyunjin said, tears were streaking down his face, he was shaking his head terribly as he tried to cup the younger's cheeks, ashamed he had made the situation worse.
"I'M NOT YOUR BABY!"
the two remained silent after jeongin's outburst, the younger had slapped his hands away.
hyunjin was full blown crying now, as if all his tears that built up from the past week had finally burst, like a dam finally breaking due to the pressure.
"keep your fucking money. i'm out." jeongin decided as hyunjin stared at him in shock.
"j-jeongin, p-please don't leave me." hyunjin whimpered as he tried to embrace the younger, even if jeongin was slapping and pushing him away.
"please let me go."
"n-no!" hyunjin cried, he was on his knees as he hugged jeongin's waist.
"please just leave me alone. you don't have to pay me j-just go."
"j-jeongin."
"you heard him. let go." jeongin's eyes widened as he saw chan standing by the doorway, in one arm holding up a brown paper bag filled with groceries.
but this time he wasn't wearing his usual cheerful grin or had a dorky and adorable disposition.
there was one thing in this world that could piss of bang chan and that's getting in the face of his family.
hyunjin was getting in jeongin's face right now.
he looked irate.
"mate," chan said, his voice dropping scarily low, "if you want to attend your sister's wedding with your pretty face intact, i suggest you leave my kid alone."
hyunjin gave jeongin a look of desperation, as if telling him to have chan back away.
"p-please innie say s-something."
jeongin sighed as he looked down, hyunjin could clearly see the tears falling down his face.
he looked heartbroken and devastated.
hyunjin wanted to kiss those tears away, he wanted to punch himself for breaking a broken down person.
"well, what do you want me to say jinnie hyung?" jeongin's voice cracked as more tears fell.
"say that no this is all fake. none of this is real and what i feel about you is all pretend." jeongin laughed bitterly as he wiped his tears.
he paused before,
"it may be all pretend for you but it was all real to me! can't you see?! i fucking fell for you!" jeongin screamed as he pushed hyunjin away.
hyunjin was shocked, at what he had heard. his brain couldn't formulated anything to say.
he scrambled to get up and then he was met with a slap across the face.
"leave."
and so he did.
"i-i'm sorry."
he gave chan an awkward bow before he left, the older glaring at him as he went to his car and drove off.
"innie..."
"hyung? w-when does the next train leave for busan tomorrow?"
"i-"
"i'm leaving."
--
i made myself finish this for y'all so you could get an update uwu
no one asked but this is an update y'all deserve!!
hope ya liked it <3
- ferds