Sasha
This doesn't mean I love you. It means I tolerate you.
The words I spoke to him replay in my head as I stare in the bathroom mirror at my mark. My fingers tracing the pattern on my skin.
My mind is confused.
I'm scared that if I fall for him then I'll get hurt. That he'll take advantage of me and use my feelings to control me and manipulate me. He said he loves me and he's proven it but I'm still unsure about trusting him. He saved my life and everything and I understand if he were to swim to Antarctica I would die from cold as soon as that heat ended if we didn't drown on the way there.
I don't understand why this has to be so confusing and complicated. I always believed relationships were simple that you either loved someone or didn't, there wasn't any middle ground.
The first time I fell in love I immediately fell hard and I regret it entirely. It was no more than a one sided childish crush returned with a joke. That resulted in so much loss and pain for me and everyone around me. I caused everyone to suffer.
I don't deserve a soul mate. I don't even love him but he loves me entirely. I can see it in the way he treats me and cares for me and protects me.
He got unlucky. He got a human girl who is unable to reciprocate his feelings. How can he love me so quickly, it is so rushed but then I was the same my first crush.
Tears fall from my eyes as I move my hair to reveal the faint scar on my forehead hidden by my brown hair.
I'll never forgive Jonathan for what he did to me not even if he came to me begging on his knees pleading because he never loved me. He played me like a jerk because of him I lost my brother.
I deserved every beating thrown at me.
"Why does he love me when I am so broken," I whisper looking at myself in the mirror.