Chapter 14
"I should've known," I mumbled, wrapping my arms around my knees.
Michelle rubbed my back. "Honey, there's no way you could've known."
"Rebs, none of us knew!" added in Penelope. "Everyone thought the opposite. Heck, the chemistry between you two was impossible to miss."
I smiled bitterly, shaking my head. I wasn't crying. Why should I? I knew this all along. But a part of me just hoped differently I guess. It just…sucked. I mean, it took me four years to drop my guard and fall for someone, and this is what happens to me? I blame it all on Cupid. Why did that stupid diapered man have to hit my heart with his stupid red arrow and not Jake's? Heck, he never hit the guy I liked. Cupid must really hate me to not want me to be happy. Sure, everyone else can fall in love and live happily ever after, but not Rebecca Smith, cause she just didn't deserve it.
"Even Kurt and Hayden were betting how long it would take Jake to ask you out," said Michelle.
"I'm gonna beat up Jake so bad," threatened Penelope.
I rolled my eyes. "How is that gonna help? It's not his fault anyway."
"Of course it's his fault," retorted Penelope. "How could he lead you on like that?"
"He didn't lead me on, Penny," I said tiredly. "He treated me like a…best friend…as usual. I'm just not the girlfriend type."
"Rebecca, stop talking bullshit," said Penelope, hitting my head.
I just stayed silent, heaving a sigh as I looked out my bedroom window. How could a day that started so perfectly end so badly?
Two hours ago…
"Is Big Brother coming to our house today?" Sasha asked me when I passed her room on my way downstairs.
I smiled, shaking my head. "No, remember he sprained his ankle the other day?"
Sasha looked disappointed. "Oh, alright."
I ruffled my sister's hair and went downstairs.
"Tell him I wish him to get well soon!" I heard her shout when I was almost out of the house.
I laughed. "Alright, Sasha," I shouted back.
The walk to Jake's house took fifteen minutes. I was surprised to find three cars parked at the driveway. Were they having a party?
"Oh, Rebecca, Jake'll be so happy to see you," said Mrs Adams with a huge smile on her face as soon as she opened the door.
"Really? What's the good news?" I asked as I came inside.
"Just go upstairs, dear. You'll find out. I have to make calls to tell everyone!" she said excitedly, bustling away.
Feeling very curious, I walked upstairs to Jake's room. As I neared his door, I heard loud blaring music and whooping voices. I knocked, but on receiving no answer, entered the room.
And was immediately ambushed.
"Rebecca!" Jake yelled excitedly, wrapping his arms around me and hugging me tightly. I saw Leon, Kurt and Hayden grinning widely behind him.
"Whoa, what happened?" I asked, grinning back at them. Their smiles were contagious.
"I got accepted!" Jake exclaimed, beaming at me, his eyes twinkling with happiness.
"Oh my God," I breathed. I squealed and we hugged again. He lifted me off the ground and twirled me around in his arms, laughing madly. The others chuckled at our antics.
"Told ya she'd be friggin' happy," said Hayden. He and Kurt clinked beer cans before gulping them down.
Jake set me down and placed a kiss on my cheek. "I'm so happy, Rebecca. I just…I just can't believe it you know?" he said, wrapping his arms around me again but not letting go.
I laughed, rubbing his back, feeling too happy for him to notice the butterflies in my stomach. "You better believe it, Jake. From now on, we'll all call you Mr RUT."
The guys burst into laughter. RUT stood for RoseVille University of Technology. I felt Jake smile against my shoulder. He stood back, but with his arms still around my waist. He tilted his head to the side, looking at me.
"Dance with me," he said, smiling.
I laughed. "Jake, I'm a horrible dancer. Besides, your ankle's not fully healed yet."
At that moment, a slow song came on. I looked over Jake's shoulder to see that Kurt had switched CDs, snickering at us.
"I remember what you wore on our first day…"
Jake shrugged. "So what? I'm too happy today to care."
"You came into my life, and I thought, hey you know, this could be something…"
He started moving to the music and I had to follow him.
"And you've already got me coming undone…"
He pulled me closer to him, his hands around my waist and my arms around his neck.
"You know that it all takes my breath away…"
Our eyes were locked onto each other, and for a moment, it felt like it was only us dancing in the room.
Until he stepped on my foot of course.
"And I'm thinking, two is better than one…"
The guys snickered and teased Jake, but we laughed it off and continued dancing horribly, stepping on each other, cursing at our terrible talents, grinning stupidly at each other, but still having a great time.
When we felt like our feet could take no more, we stopped and went downstairs where Mrs Adams had prepared a scrumptious feast. I was appalled by how much the guys could eat when Mrs Adams informed me that they normally ate like elephants. Jake piled in one pizza after the other, gulping them down with coke. Kurt and Hayden seemed to compete for the-most-food-you-could-cram-into-your-mouth trophy (which didn't even exist by the way. God knows why they were competing). Leon was the only normal one, eating at his own pace. But I did count that he had eaten six slices of pizza.
Mr and Mrs Adams beamed proudly at their son. Jake's sisters called from abroad and he shouted the news to them. The scene was so happy, the joyful mood so contagious. Calls came pouring in for Jake and he had a proud grin plastered on his face for the entire evening. Jake Adams was now officially a student of the best tech university in the city.
Mrs Adams then brought out a photo album and showed us all Jake's baby pictures, much to Jake's embarrassment. We leaned over Mrs Adams in the living room, laughing at Jake in diapers.
At one point, I had noticed that Jake and Leon were missing. I decided to go look for them.
"Dude, why the hell are you asking me this?" I heard Jake's voice say angrily, and I stopped from taking another step into the kitchen.
"Just, tell me, Jake. Do you like her or not?" I heard Leon say.
My eyes widened. Who were they talking about? The door was half-closed, so they couldn't see me.
"Why does it matter to you so much?" Jake asked.
"Because I don't want a girl to come between us," replied Leon.
"Oh, so you like her?" Jake asked dully.
"I wouldn't say or do anything if you deny your feelings for her, Jake."
There was a pause and a heavy silence ensued, during which the laughter from the living room vaguely reached my ears, and my own heart pounded against my ribcage.
"Rebecca's my best friend, Leon…"
I controlled my gasp. So, they were talking about me? Now I wouldn't feel so bad about eavesdropping.
"You said that before…but, I'm starting to wonder if there's more…" said Leon. "That day, when I invited Rebecca for keyboarding lessons, you barged in quite jealously."
"Barged in?" Jake asked, his voice slightly rising. "I used to come and go at your house all the time. I didn't know it was barging in."
"And then you refused to let me come near her while you showed her how to play the guitar," continued Leon.
"Oh, well sue me for trying to teach someone something new," snapped Jake.
"Jake, stop getting mad at me. I'm tired of this hostility between us. We're supposed to be best mates, and now we're fighting?" said Leon. "Besides, you know that the way you acted that day was…" he trailed off.
I heard Jake sigh. "You're right," he said. "This is kind of getting out of control."
"So…do you have feelings for Rebecca?"
This was it. This was the only way I'd find out how Jake felt about me once and for all. I held my breath.
"No."
I slowly backed away, smiling resentfully. I would be lying if I said that I didn't expect this. But the emptiness I felt overwhelmed me. I should've been more careful. I should've locked my heart because I knew this would happen. I should've done a lot of things instead of wearing my heart on my sleeve for it to be only snatched away from me.
"Rebecca, where're you going dear?" Mrs Adams asked from the living room when I passed it to go outside.
"Home, Mrs Adams," I answered, the humourless smile plastered onto my face. I had to keep smiling, or else I knew I might breakdown any moment.
Mrs Adams looked taken aback, as did Hayden and Kurt. "So soon?"
"Yes, Mum's called. I better go," I said and walked away without another word.
Jake's POV
"So…do you have feelings for Rebecca?" Leon asked, staring at me intently.
"No," I answered, leaning on the kitchen counter. "I don't just have feelings for her anymore, Leon…I love her."
Leon's eyes widened and he raised his eyebrows. "You're in love with her?"
I nodded. "I've loved her even before we met face to face. I knew she was the one for me, even though I didn't realise it at first."
Leon frowned. "How can you be in love without realising it?"
I smiled at him, shaking my head. "You'd have to fall in love to know that one, buddy."
Leon scoffed. "So, you just woke up one day and realised you're in love with Rebecca Smith?" he asked incredulously.
"Hmm…not really," I said, running a hand through my hair. "I first realised that I felt something for her that day when I barged into your house as soon as I heard Rebecca was going to be with you alone." We chuckled at the memory, the hostility between us dissipating. "I mean, why on earth would I be jealous, you know?"
Leon nodded, encouraging me to go on. I took a deep breath. Man, confessions were hard. I'm never telling another soul about this.
"And then at your house the other day, when she looked at me and we were standing so close to each other…I finally realised that no, it's not just simple feelings…it's love."
"Or, it could be lust too," Leon said, smirking at me. "There's too much sexual tension between you two and you haven't even kissed."
"Oh, shut your trap," I said, throwing an empty beer can at him which he easily caught.
"Dude, I think all this mushy stuff is making you throw like a pansy," commented Leon.
I hit his head and he made a face, rubbing his head. Ha, at least I didn't hit like a pansy.
"So, no hard feelings right, mate?" I asked hopefully.
Leon smiled, giving me a manly one-armed hug. "Of course. I'm not in love with her. I just wanted to take her out sometime. I am in love with her voice though."
"I know, right?" I said, sighing. "She's everything I look for in a girl…" I trailed off.
Leon frowned. "There's a 'but', isn't there?"
I nodded. "Yep."
"What's holding you back?"
I crossed my arms, looking at my feet. "I…I didn't tell her about it…"
Leon groaned. "What? Are you kidding me?"
"I wish," I said tiredly.
"But you have to tell her about it. Everyone else knows. She'll find out sooner or later."
"I know," I said, taking my head in my hands. "But, I know that if I tell her about it, then I might also tell her that I love her…and I can't afford to do that."
Leon sighed, shaking his head. "Why not? It could work out."
"It can't work out, Leon," I said exasperatedly, starting to pace. "Suppose I tell her about my feelings, suppose we start going out, and then what? I don't have much time left…she'll move on without me, and I can't bear to see that."
"You don't want her to be happy?"
"Of course I do," I exclaimed. "That's exactly why I can't tell her that I love her."
Leon scratched his head. "I'm confused. You don't want to tell her your feelings because you want her to be happy? Dude, have you ever wondered that telling her could make her happy?" he said. "Heck, she's probably smitten with you too."
I shook my head. "Yeah, I know that she likes me. Even if it's just a little bit, I know that she has feelings for me," I said. "But if I tell her that I loved her, then those little feelings would double, and then her heart would be broken when I have to tell her the other news."
Leon's mouth formed into an 'O' as realisation dawned on him.
"So…you're not going to tell her anything? Nothing about your feelings or the 'tragic' news?" he asked, making quotation marks with his fingers.
I smiled bitterly. "By the time she finds out about the tragic news, I'll be long gone," I said sadly, my heart clenching just thinking about it. "As for my feelings…no…I hope to never tell her. I just want to enjoy the time I have left with her."
Leon nodded his head slowly, thumping my back. "It's hella complicated, mate."
"You have no idea."