JOSH
"Why were you talking to Natalie?"
I turn to look at Brad who is standing next to me as I unhinge the hose from the yellow fire hydrant. It's been a long day. I'm hot and exhausted. I can't wait to get back to the station and take a long cold shower. I didn't realize Brad had been behind me when I was talking to Natalie a few minutes ago until after I hung up. I'm too tired to care. I turn my attention back to the hose as I speak. "She saw the news about the explosion on T.V. and wanted to make sure we were fine."
"Why did she call you?"
Brad doesn't hide the tone of accusation and I clench my jaw in frustration. "She's my friend too, you know."
I feel like a liar saying those words because I know that Natalie and I aren't exactly friends. If I had to define my current relationship status with Natalie it would be 'it's complicated'. There's nothing better out there to define us. But Brad doesn't need to know that and I'm not about to tell him. He's already fuming with jealousy at the fact that Natalie called me and not him. It's a little satisfying.
Brad huffs. "I'm not idiot, Josh. I know you two haven't spoken since before you left."
The hose finally unhinges from the fire hydrant and I continue to roll it back to the fire truck. The place is still not as crowded as it was about an hour ago. There were a few news vans along with police cars, helicopters, more fire trucks and, of course, many concerned neighbors. The storage wasn't around other buildings and the closest house was a couple feet away so the explosion didn't cause any damage to buildings around it.
We were the first ones at the scene. Someone had called about smoke coming out of the building. As we were doing the routine inspection, something exploded hurting four of our own. When I heard it, I immediately turned around to look at Brad to make sure he was behind me. Dad had been leading us to he was in front of me. The explosion happened across the building from where we were. Now the investigation begins.
Brad follows me back to the truck and I frown in annoyance. I don't know why I'm surprised. He's never been someone to let things go so easily. Whenever Brad wants something, he doesn't stop until he gets it. He was always the one nagging mom and dad about getting him toys he didn't need then later on clothes then a phone and so on. He doesn't take no for an answer. I'm still not sure if that's a good or bad thing.
I didn't even know he was behind me when I was talking to Natalie until after I hung up and turned around and there he was, giving me a glare of betrayal and jealousy. I need him to drop this before I say something I regret.
"Yeah, well, we're talking again," I finally say.
Not necessarily the truth but not a lie either. I'm still punching myself in the gut for telling Natalie I can't be just friends with her. I don't know what I expected. She's too selfless to not care about what would happen if we give into whatever this is. I know that. What I told her is true-I can't be around her as just friends but I wish I would have tried a bit harder because I miss her.
Brad studies me while I keep myself busy by putting all the equipment back in the truck. He's supposed to be helping but I don't want to get him more pissed than he already is so I suck it in and keep working. I'm exhausted. It's been a long shift and I still have another twelve hour shift to work tomorrow.
"You going Saturday?" He finally asks.
"I told Mom I would," I say carefully.
I'm actually looking forward to going to Newport for the weekend. I want to see the beach and Natalie's parent's inn. I would be lying if I said I wasn't looking forward to seeing Natalie too.
"Well I'm going too."
I almost roll my eyes. "Great."
"Has she said anything about me?"
I stop and turn to look at Brad. "I wouldn't tell you if she did."
"Why not?"
"I don't betray trust," I say a little bothered that he thinks I would just tell him everything Natalie says. Or anyone for that matter. I have honor.
"Oh come on, man, I'm your brother."
"You screwed things up, Brad."
He glares at me. "You have anything you want to say to me, Josh?"
"What are you talking about?" I snap back, my patience is very thin by now.
"I heard you tell her, it's always nice to hear your voice, Natalie. What was that about, huh?" He demands standing in front of me and raising his chin in defiance.
I narrow my eyes at him. "I know Mom taught you better than eavesdropping on other people's conversations."
"And I know she taught you better than to mess around with your brother's girlfriend."
I clench my jaw. "Ex-girlfriend."
Anger crosses his face and he raises his fist as if to punch me.
"Hey! Hey! Hey!" Dad pulls him back and looks at him then at me. "What the hell is wrong with you two?"
Brad doesn't take his glare off of me and I don't either. He's being so fucking annoying acting like he has some sort of claim over Natalie. I was trying to act cool but he's really getting on my nerves. He shouldn't have been listening to my conversation in the first place. He has no right to just butt into my business or try to intimidate me.
He finally turns around and walks away. My dad looks at me and raises his eyebrows. I shrug. "You know how he is. He's probably looking for an excuse to get drunk."
Brad has been drinking a lot lately. I don't know if it started before he and Natalie broke up or if it got worse after since I wasn't here. My bet is that it definitely got worse after the break up. I leave him alone most of the time. He's my little brother and I care about him but he's also an adult. I'm waiting for him to get it together on his own. Maybe that's too much to ask.
"Have you heard anything?" I ask Dad.
He nods once. "The injuries appear to be non-threatening."
I sigh in relief. "That's good to hear."
"Yes. They're all good men."
"Dad, this wasn't your fault." I tell him when I realize he looks guilty.
"I'm the Captain. I should have been in the front."
"You were." I place my hand on his shoulder. "We don't know what caused this. Don't blame yourself."
He looks at me and offers a sad smile. "Thank you, son, I'm really glad you're here."
"Me too," I say sincerely.
I really am. In the past weeks since joining Dad at the station, I've really felt like I've found my spot in this profession. I always knew I would end up here but it's good to feel like I belong. It's always been my duty to serve. At least I can say that I have it together when it comes to my career if not anywhere else.
We pack everything and then head back to the station. Our job is finished once the fires are out and people are out of harms way. The rest is up to the police, investigators, and doctors. The outcome always depends on how quick we are to answer our call.
I spend the night at the station. My next shift starts at eight the next morning so I don't see a point in leaving. I find myself looking forward to Saturday all day on Friday. I miss Natalie terribly. It's sort of embarrassing. I don't know what's wrong with me. I wonder if she thinks of me too. I wonder if she thinks about Brad...the thought makes me feel a strange pang of jealousy.
________________________________________________________________________
On Saturday morning, I meet my parents at the house with Brad who seems to be over what happened on Thursday.
"Can you get the blankets on the couch for me?" Mom asks when she sees me. She's helping Dad put everything in the trunk.
"Sure," I say then make my way into the house. I find the blankets and grab them. When I get back outside, I'm surprised to see Crystal chatting with Mom.
Crystal and I have worked a lot of shifts together. It was actually nice that I met her before I started at the station. We're usually too busy to chat so I don't know much about her. She is also a firefighter. Her physique is very athletic. I can tell she works out a lot. Must mean she's dedicated in what she loves which is refreshing.
"Hey, Josh." She greets me with a smile as I hand Mom the blankets.
"Hey. I didn't know you were coming."
We worked together yesterday and she didn't mention anything. For a moment I wonder if Crystal usually comes to these outings with my family but by the shy smile on Mom's face, I can tell that she doesn't.
Crystal smiles. "Your mom invited me. Hope it's okay."
"She can invite whoever she likes," I say with a shrug. I turn to look at my mom and narrow my eyes at her so she knows I know what she's up to. I wish she wasn't trying to set me up with Crystal or anyone for that matter. I'm a twenty-five year old man for God's sake. I don't need or want my mother to set me up with anyone.
"Alright kids, let's hit the road!" Dad says as he gets behind the wheel.
"Dad, I can drive," I say eager to keep myself occupied for the next two hours.
Dad looks at me. "Really? Great. I could use a nap."
He gets in the passenger seat while I take the driver's. Mom, Brad, and Crystal settle in the back seats and then we hit the road. I haven't been to Newport in so long. It was probably back in high school when the tradition to hang out with Natalie's family began. I'm glad they kept the momentum going. They've always been good friends.
The weather is perfect for a day out. We reach Newport at around noon and I finally get to see Oceanside Inn. I'm guessing that's the name since the letters are above the front doors. It's a beautiful building, very antique. The floorboards creak when you step on the porch. I like that. Of course that sound is nothing compared to the sound of the ocean. I admire it for a moment while my parents head inside.
I am standing there, staring at the beach when I see her. Natalie is walking barefoot. She's looking down at her feet so she doesn't see me looking at her. She's wearing jean shorts with a white blouse and a black cardigan that the air blows behind her. Her hair is tied into a ponytail at the nape of her neck. I stare at her, wanting to walk to her and put my arms around her.
"Breathtaking, isn't it?"
I am taken back to reality and turn to look at Crystal who is looking at the ocean. I nod and look at Natalie. "Yes, very."
Natalie turns and meets my gaze. She smiles which makes me smile then she sees Crystal standing next to me and her smile fades a little. I suddenly feel the urgency to tell her that I didn't invite Crystal but I know I can't tell her with Crystal standing right next to me. Natalie makes her way towards us, her feet dig into the sand as she walks. She crosses her arms on her chest as a gentle breeze hits her.
"Hey," She says when she reaches us.
"Hey, Natalie," Crystal says with a smile. "It's so beautiful here. No wonder you come all the time. Thank you for having us."
Natalie nods as she looks around with a smile. "I know right?" Then she looks at Crystal. "I'm glad Josh invited you."
I open my mouth to tell her I didn't but Crystal looks at me and smiles. "Me too."
I look away, trying to hide my annoyance. Natalie and I are in such a weird place. We are not together but it's important to me that she knows I'm not interested in anyone but her. I want to talk to her and tell her that I don't want to fight this anymore but before I can say anything, Brad is walking up the porch steps. Natalie turns around and sees him. Her shoulders tense a bit. It's very subtle but I notice it.
"Hey, Nat."
"Brad, hey."
Brad reaches out to hug her. She looks surprised but doesn't push him away. I look at them and realize what I am up against. They're broken up now but there are eight years of history between them. Eight years of sharing moments together. Eight years of fights and kisses. They almost got married for God's sake. I begin to think that I am way out of line here. What the hell am I thinking in setting my eyes on my brother's ex-girlfriend of eight years?
"Can we talk?" Brad asks her quietly.
"Uh-Okay." Natalie turns to look at Crystal then at me. "Excuse me." Then she follows Brad back to the beach.
I take a step forward without thinking.
"Do you think they're going to work things out?" Crystal asks in an excited yay-for-true-love voice. "That'll be great, don't you think?"
I know she means well but it's seriously the worst thing she can say right now.
"Uh-sure." I clear my throat. "Excuse me."
I make my way into the inn, away from the noise of laughter coming from the kitchen and into the bathroom, feeling the burn of jealousy right in the pit of my stomach.