It's been another month since Danny and I saw each other. I don't know how to feel anymore. One part of me wants to hate him and keep him away from me. Another part wants to hold him and kiss him and tell him how much I miss him. But, I can't.
I'm now three months pregnant and my tiny belly bump has become more visible and has become a bit bigger. My breasts are swelling up, which is so uncomfortable but I can't do anything about it.
My mom decided that I should get a check up from the doctor and get my first ultrasound. I was both nervous and excited. Nervous because a random doctor would be rubbing my belly and probably secretly judging me for being pregnant so young. But excited because I would be able to see the life growing inside of me.
As my mom and I drive in comfortable silence to the doctor's office, I think about Tyler. If he is the father, would I need to tell him I am getting an ultrasound? Would he want to come and check for himself as well? Would I need to tell Danny too since there could also be a chance that the baby is his? All my thoughts are broken when I hear my mom speak.
"Do you want us to take Danny too? Don't you think he'd want to see the ultrasound too?" my mom asks, still convinced that Danny is 100% the father.
I frown and quickly shake my head.
"No, uh, let's just go. I'll take him to the next one." I lie, knowing that he wants nothing to do with me anymore.
My mom sucks her teeth.
"I knew you'd say that which is why we're stopping at his house anyway." my mom states and I gasp. I didn't even notice that she was taking me to his house.
"Mom, no. Let's just go by ourselves. Please." I plead, but to no avail. She gets out of the car, pulling me out as well and she knocks on their gate.
I feel my heart beat fast as I think of how Danny would react. He definitely hates me after what I said to him that other night. I feel so bad about what I said. I'm so stupid.
The gate opens and Danny stands there, dressed casually but it looked like he was going out. When he sees us, he looks shocked and his eyebrows are raised in surprise.
"Ma. Good morning." he says politely, but still with confusion laced in his voice.
"Good morning, my son. How is everything?" she asks him while I stand there awkwardly.
"Everything is fine. Did you need something, Ma?" he asks her, making sure to avoid eye contact with me. I frown to myself.
"Yes. Um, you already know about Anima's pregnancy. Today is her first ultrasound and I thought she would be less nervous with you there." my mom says with a big smile on her face. I feel so awkward right now.
Danny raises his eyebrows and makes an 'o' shape with his mouth. He finally glances at me but quickly looks back at my mother when I make eye contact with him.
"Well, uh, good luck but I can't go." he says to my mother nervously and her face drops. I look down at the ground. This is my fault.
"Oh, why not? Don't you want to see your child?" my mom asks, and I widen my eyes in shock. Danny's eyes become huge and I feel my face heat up in embarrassment.
Danny opens his mouth to say something when a voice stops him.
"Babe, let's go to the mall. I'm bored." the voice whines, and Lena's face comes into view. She stands next to him, interlocking her arm with his. She glares when she sees me.
"What are you doing here?" she asks me but I ignore her.
Babe? I thought he said they broke up. Did he lie to me?
"Good morning lady." Lena says to my mom, but my mom rolls her eyes at her. Lena awkwardly looks away and glances back at me.
"Anyway, Danny and I are back together. We took a break but our love is too strong for that." she smiles in my face with fakeness all over her voice.
Love? Interesting.
"Look, nobody asked for your life story. Now back to my question. Danny, are you coming or not?" my mom states harshly and I hold back a laugh. She dislikes Lena as much as I do.
Lena gasps dramatically and Danny sighs.
"Ma, I really can't go. I already promised Lena I would take her out today. But I hope everything goes well." he says to my mother and she scoffs.
"So, you won't go?" she asks one more time.
He shakes his head 'no' and my mother shakes her head in disapproval.
"Fine. Anima, yenko (let's go)." she says, a little anger in her voice, and she walks back to the car. I turn to follow her when Lena starts to speak.
"He won't be needing you around anymore sweetie. Save yourself the pain." she says rudely, and I walk away without turning back to look at her.
* * *
"Alright, you can look at the screen now." the doctor nicely says to me, after rubbing the cold gel on my bare belly. My mom is next to me with a pissed look but a smile on her face regardless.
I look at the screen and I gasp at the image. There was a little head and a tiny body on the screen. The baby looked so small and vulnerable, and I just wanted to protect him/her. It finally hit me that I'm going to have a baby. That I'm going to be a mother. I hold back my tears of joy and smile at my mom.
"Okay, so all your tests were fine and the baby is healthy. The only thing I'd say is that you are close to being underweight for your height and age, so make sure you are taking all your vitamins and eating properly." the doctor tells me with a smile on his face and I nod at him.
My mother nods and looks at the doctor.
"Um, doctor, what vitamins should she be taking right now?" my mother asks him.
"Right now, get all your vitamins that you normally take, but also use folic acid because it helps the baby to develop well." he says and we nod.
"Okay, best of luck, Anima. Have a great day, ladies." he tells us, before leaving the room.
* * *
"Okay, there's a pharmacy across the street. Go get the folic acid pills. I'm staying in the car." my mom tells me, giving me some money.
I get out of the car and quickly cross the street, before entering the pharmacy. As soon as I enter, I regret it. I see Lena standing there, facing me, and Danny with his back turned to me. As soon as Lena sees me, she quickly grabs Danny's face and kisses him roughly. He kisses her back, and she opens her eyes to look at me, with an evil smile on her face.
I ignore the anger in me and shake my head. I am not here for her. I'm here to get something that will help my baby and I. I walk up to the pharmacist who seems to be annoyed at the kissing scene in front of him.
"Good afternoon sir. Could I please get folic acid pills?" I ask him and he nods, turning around to search for it.
I tap on the counter, waiting for him when Lena decides to open her big mouth.
"Are you following us? I know you're obsessed with my man but stalking us? Really? Do you not have anything else to do with your sad life?" she asks, evil dripping from her voice.
She's such a witch for no reason. I'm tired of all her snide and rude comments towards me. I ignore her and I continue to wait for the pharmacist man. He comes back to me, holding out the bottle.
"10 cedis." he says, and I take out the money my mom gave me. I count it and find only 8 cedis. Crap. That's all the money we brought with us because we didn't think we were going to buy anything.
"Um, I only have 8 cedis." I tell him, feeling embarrassed.
I hear Lena giggle behind me but I ignore it.
"It's 10 cedis. Pay or you don't get it." the man says, a little harshly. Damn, did he run out of jollof rice at home?
"Please, sir. I need it." I plead, but he shakes his head.
"And I need 10 cedis. If you're not ready to pay, you can leave." he states coldly, and I sigh in defeat.
As I am walking towards the exit, I hear Danny's voice.
"Here you go, sir. 10 cedis. Can she get the pills now?" Danny asks the man, and he hands Danny the pills.
Lena's face scrunches up in anger and I raise my eyebrows in surprise. He just paid for me. Why? I don't deserve that. I don't deserve him.
He walks over to me and hands me the pills. I look up at him and hesitantly take it from him. He gives me a really small smile, but I can see it.
"Thank you. You didn't have to." I tell him quietly.
"It's not a big deal." he shrugs, looking away.
I awkwardly smile and turn to leave when Lena speaks again.
"Hold on. We came here so that you could buy me pills for my cramps, but instead of doing that, you pay for this thing's pills." Lena spits out in anger.
"Baby, calm down. She needs those pills." he tells her calmly.
"What, my health isn't important to you?" she replies with sass and he rolls his eyes.
"I never said that. You know exactly why she needs the pills." he says again.
I frown. I am still angry that Lena knows about my secret.
"Because she's a slut. But apparently, you're into sluts." she says coldly.
"Like yourself." I say, anger laced in my voice.
"Excuse me?" she asks in anger, inching towards me. I stand still while Danny holds her and stops her from moving any closer.
"Babe, I don't want her. I was just helping her out, okay? I love you and only you." he says to her, caressing her cheeks.
My heart breaks for the millionth time. I can't believe he just did that. In front of me. I hold back my tears and I turn to leave.
"Wait." he says, grabbing my elbow. I quickly turn and look at his hand touching my elbow. He quickly let go and cleared his throat.
"How did it go?" he asks me, referring to the ultrasound.
I sigh and glance at Lena before responding to him.
"It was great. I think next time, I'll bring Tyler with me because you know, he actually cares." I simply say, before walking out.
Tears slide down my face. I am a terrible person.